A Literally "Sticky" Situation - G - Loki/Darcy/Skurge
“Dude, you had one job.”
Skurge heaved his massive shoulders in a very put-upon sigh. “Why does everyone keep saying that to me?”
“Perhaps because you’re only ever given one job to do and you still manage to monumentally screw it up,” Loki snarled, golden goo oozing slowly down the side of his face. “Every. Single. Time.”
“And,” Darcy chimed in, struggling to shake a glob of the sugary substance off her hand, “screwing up your one job this time has probably ruined my favorite pair of chucks.”
The three of them were sitting in hardback chairs facing away from one another. They each had their legs bound, and thick ropes tied their arms to their sides and their torsos to the chairs. The room--if you could even call it a room--that they were in would have been white were it not for the yellow gunk coating every available surface. Worse, the glistening stuff was all over them, and though it smelled divine it was hardening at a frightening prodigious rate.
“Can’t you do that thing with the whoosh where you’re suddenly in two places at once?” Darcy whined, rattling her chair in Loki’s general direction.
If Loki could have smacked his forehead with his palm he would have done it. “Unfortunately, that trick only works if I can move away from the projected image.” He strained his shoulders against the ropes. They didn’t budge. “I don’t appear to be able to go anywhere.”
“Go visit the giant bee aliens, he said,” Darcy muttered, tapping her feet against the floor for nothing more than something to do. “You love honey, he said. It’s the perfect place for you, he said.”
Though none of them could crane their heads far enough to see it, Skurge visibly winced. “In my defense, you do love honey,” he insisted. “We take turns picking vacation spots. That was the deal. I would have preferred getting to go watch the fights on that world where Thor got stuck as a gladiator.” Here Loki groaned, preferring not to relive his time in the Grandmaster’s domain. “I chose this place because I thought you would both love it more. Darcy gets food and Loki gets to lord over another alien species he could easily rule. It was a win-win.”
Even Loki had to admit that his partner’s logic was sound, though he wasn’t about to admit it out loud. “Yes, you’re very thoughtful and loving.”
“Ten out of ten best boyfriend in terms of thoughtfulness,” Darcy agreed.
“But,” Loki continued, practically growling, “that still doesn’t really count for much considering that we got here and you decided to start a fight with what was apparently some member of a royal family.” He gnashed his teeth in frustration. “And now we are quite literally stuck in some sort of honeycomb prison where we are slowly being crystallized in the leading local food source.”
Skurge sat for a long moment in deep thought. Finally, he spoke. “So, you want I should break my way out of these ropes so we can get out of here, then?”
The silence that followed somehow managed to echo. After a time, Darcy erupted in short bursts of incredulous giggles. Giggles turned to a full-bodied laugh, and soon tears mixed with honey in streaming down her face. All the while, Loki seethed. When he finally spoke, his words were quietly forced through clenched teeth.
“Has that always been an option?”
“Well, these ain’t exactly Asgard’s finest craftsmanship, love.” There was a resounding crack as Skurge, instead of breaking the ropes, twisted his torso and snapped the back of the chair cleanly off the seat. With a flex of his shoulders the ropes fell to the floor. “I mean, they make everything out of that honeycomb stuff. Pretty much everything here is edible.” To further prove his point, he was gnawing on one of the chair’s arms when he came to stand in front of Loki.
Darcy and her chair fell to one side as she laughed even harder. “I take it back,” she wheezed. “Best. Vacation. Ever.”