Misread the Instructions/Recipe - PG-13 (language & inuendo) - Darcy Lewis/Peter Quill, mentions Darcy/Peter/Gamora
How she’d managed to end up in space in the first place wasn’t nearly as important as the fact that Darcy Lewis was a bona fide member of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Sort of. On a trial basis. Maybe just because they’d needed an extra pair of hands on this one outing since teenage Groot was usually too busy on his handheld game to be bothered with helping. Shut up.
She was totally a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and she had the backpack full of gadgets to prove it.
Explosions and laughter rang out in the distance along with a lot of swearing and gunfire. Drax and Rocket were in charge of the distraction. Gamora and Groot were on the sidelines to get the two nutcases out of trouble once they were solidly in it. Gamora, the only voice of reason, really, was also relaying the state of enemy activity through the comms. Darcy, bag of tricks slung over one shoulder, was making her way through the compound with Star-Lord. They actual made a pretty good team, and nothing could really compare to the amount of banter they threw out in hushed whispers while the darted from shadow to shadow and generally avoided much of the place’s population.
Normally, Mantis would be on the ground with the rest of the Guardians. Unfortunately, the empath had been kidnapped by some mad scientists that Rocket just so happened to recognize. The group had tracked the scientists here and Darcy had readily agreed to go in with them to retrieve their kidnapped comrade. Rocket, overcome with joy at the thought of wreaking havoc, had made up her goody bag of pretty much all kinds of bombs.
Peter turned a corner and almost immediately backed up into her. Before she could question him, a hail of bullets rained down on the spot where he’d just been standing. “Well,” he quipped, giving her a wry grin, “so much for sneaking.”
“Are you sure you were ever a thief?” Darcy asked with a laugh while she dug around in her bag.
“Of course,” Quill assured her. At a pause in the gunfire he leaned around the corner and fired a couple shots of his own. “Just more Indiana Jones than cat burglar.”
She finally pulled out a jar with a couple of vials and a slip of paper taped to its side, squinted at the directions she’s scribbled on the paper, and set to work. “How many Indiana Jones movies did you see?”
“What kind of question is that? There’s only two.”
“Aw, dude. I have so much to show you. They made a third one in ‘89 and a fourth in 2008.” She tipped half of one vial into the jar and studied the directions again. The hallway they were in really wasn’t that well lit.
Quill gaped at her, completely ignoring the next burst of gunfire. “They made more!? This is like frickin’ Christmas!”
“Don’t get too excited. The fourth one wasn’t great.” Finally, Darcy screwed the lid on the jar and admired her handiwork. She could have sworn Rocket had told her that the liquid would turn bright green throughout, but what she had was more like blue dollops in a lava lamp. With a shrug she handed it to Peter. “Here, throw that at them. Should make a big boom.”
“Are you sure it’s supposed to look like that?”
“Throw the damn jar or I’m going to start quoting the movies you haven’t seen.”
“Meanie.” He threw the jar. They heard the glass break.
There was no boom.
A great squelching sound erupted from the hall. Whoever the people were that had been firing all the bullets screamed. Then there was silence. Cautiously, Peter and Darcy both peeked around the corner.
An enormous blue blob was making its way down the corridor, consuming everything in its path. Pieces of the gunmen and their weapons floated in its translucent body, steadily dissolving in whatever hazardous material Darcy had created. As they watched it reached the end of the hallway and turned toward the sound of more gunfire, a trail of turquoise slime left in its wake.
“Did you just turn one of Rocket’s bombs into the Blob?”
“You must be imagining things,” Darcy insisted. “We haven’t even gotten into the bag of tricks yet.”
“Got it. Wasn’t us.” His immediate resolution to play along made her want to kiss him. Peter pulled out a small map. “Looks like her cell is actually in this hall.”
They made their way into the hall, carefully stepping around the trails of slime. Mantis’ door was right in the middle next to wear the guns must have been set up. Peter jogged up to the door first and spoke in hushed tones through the tiny window. Once he’d made sure that Mantis was inside he waved Darcy over. She knelt by the door and rummaged through the bag again.
“You sure we should use something out of there?” Peter asked, one eyebrow raised. With a roll of her eyes, Darcy produced a small set of charges with just enough oomph to blow a door off its hinges and a detonator.
“These suckers aren’t Rocket’s,” she assured him. “SWAT issue door charges. Specially made to make an entrance with relatively little sound and boom. I’ve got a ton in my luggage.”
“Excellent.” Peter nodded with approval and turned to the window in the door. “Mantis, stay back from the door.” Darcy was too focused to listen for Mantis’ response. In a matter of seconds she had the charges all placed, and she dragged Quill down the hall to push the button on the detonator. With the exact result they were supposed to have, the charges let out short bursts of concussive energy and the door fell inwards. They rushed in together to find Mantis seated on a narrow bed directly across from the door looking no worse for wear. Grinning and triumphant, they both went to retrieve their wayward companion.
“Wait! Stop!” Before the words were completely out of Mantis’ mouth, they had each laid a hand on one of her bare arms and hauled her to her feet. Mantis stared at each of their hands in turn. “It would have been better if you hadn’t touched me.”
Darcy and Peter both yanked their hands back in an instant, shooting one another a panicked glance before studying the empath. She was a little bruised around the eyes as though she hadn’t slept since she was taken, but otherwise didn’t look like she’d been horribly mistreated.
“Uh, Mantis,” Peter asked, wiping his hand on his pants, “why shouldn’t we touch you?”
“The scientists here wished to breed me in order to cultivate my empathic abilities.” Her black eyes blinked, wide and innocent, up at him. “Unfortunately, they were not prepared for the physiology of my species. The treatments they gave me do not work on me, but their effects can be passed to mammalian species through physical contact.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Darcy squirmed. The first hint of a flush had begun to spread across her body, and she had a sneaking suspicion of what the effects might be. “Let me guess: they gave you some kind of drug concoction to make you compliant and increase libido to a point that would be almost painful.”
Mantis gasped in delight. “That is correct! It might have worked if it were not for my abilities. Instead of affecting my drives and desires it instead is projected outwards from my body.” With a groan, Darcy leaned against the wall of the cell and banged her head against the wall.
“Does somebody want to explain that in real people terms?” Peter asked, looking from Darcy to Mantis with wide eyes. “Am I gonna die?”
“We’ve been sex pollened.” Darcy pulled her glasses off long enough to scrub one hand over her eyes. “Depending on the potency, we’ve got a limited amount of time before we’re both so horny we’ll fuck anything that’ll have us.”
“That’s a thing!?”
“Surprisingly common. We had forms for chosen partners and shit when I was working with the Avengers.” She leaned her head around the doorway. No enemies in sight. “I’ve been through a couple of different varieties before. I’ll explain the finer points on the way back to the ship, but first…” Darcy grabbed Peter by the collar, leaning up on her tiptoes until they were eye to eye. “We’ve got a very short few minutes before the idea of consent is dubious at best. I’m down for the sexings with you or Gamora or both. No one else. You?”
Quill’s eyes had glazed over. “Oh, I’m gonna be remembering that mental image for the rest of my life.” He shook himself out of the daze and grinned down at her. “Same. You and Gamora, together or separate. Please don’t let Rocket anywhere near Peter Junior.”
Darcy nodded and let him go. “Good. You lead the way.” She shoved him through the door and ushered Mantis after him. “Let’s get back quick. I’m not much of an exhibitionist and we should probably try to explain this to Gamora and get her thoughts before we make with the fun times.”
“Why is there slime everywhere?” Mantis asked sweetly as she followed them down the hall. “I didn’t know it came in such pretty colors.”