Chapter 2
Tony had thought his talk with the kid had gone well – at least as well as could be expected when he was dealing with someone who clearly had a lot of issues surrounding their sexuality that they had yet to process. Therefore, what he didn’t expect was for Friday to wake him up at quarter to four in the morning a week later to tell him that Peter was currently sat on the roof of some random apartment complex, having a panic attack.
According to the AI, Karen had started to register signs of distress from the moment Peter had donned the suit at 11:06 that evening. The tell-tale signature of a panic attack hadn’t started until fifteen minutes before Friday had woken him, however. Peter had apparently declined the option to phone Tony himself, and so Karen had alerted him once the Baby Monitor Protocol had kicked in.
Something sat uneasily on Tony’s chest about the whole situation, and he rushed to get to Peter as quickly as possible, not even bothering to change out of his pyjamas before he left. Tony’s mind wandered to all the conceivable situations that could have led to this outcome. Has someone gotten into the kid’s apartment? Had Peter interrupted a crime and put his suit on halfway through the confrontation (Tony would kill him if he’d compromised his secret identity)? Whatever had happened, there was no good sequence of events that ended with this scenario.
Tony’s hands shook noticeably in the suit, and he willed it to get him to the kid faster with each passing second. Every time he checked the kid’s stats, he was in a worse state of panic than before, and Tony couldn’t bear the thought of not knowing what was going on.
It took a full ten minutes for the tower block where Peter was currently hiding to come into view, and once it did, Tony’s heart plummeted. Peter was sat on the ledge of the building, his feet dangling precariously over the edge.
Peter’s mask currently lay in a crumpled heap on the floor next to him, and he had his head in his hands. The sight did nothing to ease Tony’s pounding heart.
Peter heard the thrusters from a long way away – one of the many advantages to his overactive senses – and had already braced himself for his mentor’s harsh words about waking him up in the middle of the night. The rate of his heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially the closer Iron Man suit got to his position on the roof top.
When he finally heard the metallic clank of the suit landing, he raised his head from his hands and swung his legs back over the side of the building. ‘Hey, Mr Stark,’ he began, assuming that Tony had sent an empty suit to rescue him yet again. ‘I’m sorry to wake you – but I did tell Karen not to call you so…’ His voice seemed to trail away to nothing at the end of the sentence; he wasn’t entirely sure how to continue, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start pouring his heart out to the robot in front of him any time soon.
He could see the suit looking around, obviously scanning the area for the threat that had made Peter freak out. How was Tony meant to understand that the threat was Peter?
‘What happened kiddo?’ Tony asked, trying to keep his voice even.
Peter sighed dramatically. ‘Tony, it’s nothing, alright. I’m fine. I’m sorry to have woken you, but can’t we just talk about this when I get to the lab tomorrow?’ Or we could never mention it again, Mr Stark, that would be cool too.
‘Nope. No can do. We’re doing this now.’
Peter let out a soft whine from the back of his throat. In any other situation, they both knew that Tony would be teasing already: so overdramatic, Peter. But that didn’t happen tonight. ‘Sir, as nice as the suit is and all, I’d really rather do this face to face instead of talking to one of your machines.’
The suit in front of Peter started slightly, as if Tony had forgotten that he was wearing it. He shut his eyes, praying he was wrong about what he was already anticipating to happen. Sure enough, it only took a beat of silence before he could hear the tell-tale noise of the suit being folded back into the bands that Tony always wore around his wrists. The wonders of nanotechnology, Peter thought vaguely.
‘This better for you?’ Tony asked, his attempt at playfulness sounding surprisingly natural, despite the panic coursing through his veins.
Peter cracked one eye open, then the other. He sucked in a little breath, taking in the appearance of the man in front of him before he burst into giggles. ‘Really, Tony? Iron Man pyjamas? What are you, eight?’
Tony shrugged, more relieved that Peter still had the capacity to joke around than worried about what he was saying.
‘You’re not even wearing shoes!’ Peter chuckled, rubbing his hands over his face as if he expected Tony to be gone by the time he opened his eyes again.
Tony shrugged, a slight smirk gracing his lips. He was more than a little relieved that – outwardly at least – Peter seemed to be calming down.
‘Jesus, I didn’t realise you would actually come in person. Shouldn’t you be in bed?’
‘Shouldn’t you be in bed too, Pete?’ Tony shot back.
Peter made a face that seemed to say oops, I was hoping we weren’t going to bring that up. Tony sighed. He swore this kid would be the death of him.
‘Let’s sit,’ he suggested, gesturing to an air conditioning unit behind Peter that was the perfect height to make a seat. ‘So,’ Tony began once Peter had settled himself next to him on the metal pipe. ‘You mind telling me why I got an alert from Karen at this unholy time of night when you were meant to have stopped patrolling hours ago?’
Peter sighed wearily, and Tony got the distinct impression that the kid felt like he was already a tired, old man, despite only being a teenager. He tugged at the hairband on his wrist, pulling it back and releasing it so that it hit painfully against the soft underside of his arm. Judging by the red inflamed skin around that area, Tony assumed that he had been snapping it a lot tonight. Despite the fact that they both knew what it meant (Peter was having another bad night), neither of them acknowledged it. ‘You – you remember last week, with the whole coming out thing?’ He began lamely. Tony hummed quietly, hoping the kid would carry on of his own accord. ‘Well, see, the thing is, that guy that I was – he was the one who – with the hickey – and anyway, I trusted him. I fucking trusted him not to tell anyone about us until I was ready but –’
Peter paused and Tony prayed to every god he could think of that Peter wasn’t about to say what he thought he was.
‘We were both scared, Mr Stark. We’d talked about it – our school isn’t exactly friendly to queer kids and – and he agreed that I got bullied enough already without having fag thrown into the list of insults too.’ Tony’s heart clenched with the tone of Peter’s voice when he said the insult, but before he could say anything, Peter was talking again. ‘He said that we shouldn’t come out until we’re ready. But then – today – he was cornered by some of the older kids. From what I can tell, they were throwing around some homophobic slurs and he – when he was asked if he was a fag, he said no. But he told them I was.’ Peter took a deep shuddering breath to ground himself before he continued. ‘Obviously, word got out quickly – you remember what high school is like, right? – And he didn’t even bother to give me a fucking heads up about it, you know? Not a casual “oh, Peter, I think I just outed you to the entire universe, sorry about that!” So I’m sure you can imagine how shitty that was.’
There was another beat of silence while Peter gathered his thoughts together. ‘I’m so sorry, kiddo.’ Tony said softly, not entirely sure what he could say to make it go away. He would definitely be phoning the school to talk to them about their bullying policy, but somehow that didn’t seem to be the right thing to bring up just yet.
Peter let out a harsh, watery laugh. The disjointed way that he was talking was worrying Tony more than he was willing to let on. ‘Oh boy, that’s not even the part that made me freak out and come up here.’ Tony’s heart rate increased dramatically again, what could be worse than being outed to your entire high school? He thought wildly. ‘See, after patrol, when I got home, it suddenly hit me that if everyone at school knows, May would probably find out about it from one of them. So – so I figured I would just tell her – no big deal right? – and everything was fine until like ten minutes before she came home from her late shift, when I suddenly thought – if she kicked me out – she’s the only family I have left, Tony – and the more I thought about it, the more sick I felt. I couldn’t – if she thought I was wrong – or – or that I was sick or something. I couldn’t – couldn’t tell her. When I finally heard the door open, I freaked, put the suit on and…’ Peter gestured to the rooftop.
‘And now you’re here.’ Tony filled in for him. ‘I gotta say, you’re really brave kid. You’ve obviously had a day from hell, and I wish you hadn’t been let down by your – boyfriend? Ex? – I don’t know what you want me to call him –’
‘Can we not talk about him at all please?’
‘Sure thing, kid.’
Peter snapped the elastic band on his wrist three times in quick succession, and Tony was a little taken a back; he had never seen the kid snap it more than once within the course of a few minutes, and even then, he knew that Peter tended to rely on it less when he was with other people (it just feels a little sacrilegious, he’d told Tony once).
‘So does May know you’re gone?’
It took a minute for Peter to answer, and when he did, Tony realised that it was because he was crying silently. By the looks of things, it was taking every ounce of self-control for Peter not to give in to the weighty sobs that seemed to be bubbling just under the surface. ‘Well, it’s – uh – it’s a Friday, Mr Stark, so I wrote a note saying that I was staying with you at the compound because we had lots of work to do tomorrow.’ Even in the dim light, Tony could see the blush that was spreading quickly over Peter’s pale face.
‘That was good thinking, Pete. I was going to suggest you stay at the compound now anyway.’ Relief seemed to flood the boy’s body at his words. ‘Do you mind me asking why you were worried that May might kick you out?’ Tony couldn’t imagine Peter’s kind aunt kicking him out for anything, but he knew that his first impression didn’t really count for anything in the grand scheme of things.
‘Because I’m sick.’
‘You’re not sick Peter.’
‘I am – I – I’m sick and wrong and I shouldn’t even –’
‘I’m going to stop you right there kid.’ Tony held his breath and counted to five. ‘You are not any of those things. I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you’ve had to hear people saying those things to you, but you’re not sick or wrong. I dread to think how you were going to end that sentence, but you’re – incorrect – about that part too.’ Tony knew better than to tell Peter that he was “wrong” about something directly after he’d used that word to describe himself, despite the differing context. ‘Has Rogers told you about when he knew he was bisexual instead of sick?’
Peter shook his head, eyes wide and filled with something that Tony was almost certain was hope.
‘Well, before he was the Captain America – right at the beginning when he was just a skinny kid from Brooklyn, he started to get a crush on Bucky,’ Tony began, smiling fondly. ‘And obviously, this was the forties, so he decided that he must be sick – that it was a side effect from the asthma, or the drugs he was taking to keep him alive – but whatever he thought, he told himself that it wasn’t right, so he didn’t tell anyone. And then, he got picked for to be the test subject for the serum. I know you know how it worked, but I’m going to just run over the highlights to get my point across, alright? Bear with me. The serum gave him strength and all, but it also got rid of his illness. All of it. His immune system went into overdrive, and since then he’s never been sick – not even a cold, the lucky little shit. But anyway, after that, he heard that his buddy was taken prisoner, so my old man flew a plane and dropped him into deep into enemy territory to rescue the whole regiment. But you already knew that part, right? See, Pete, that mission – that was when Steve realised that he still had feelings for Bucky, and that the serum hadn’t taken away what he assumed to be sickness. And at that point, he started to realise that what he felt wasn’t a bad thing. Love never is, alright?’ Tony sighed. ‘Look, as much as I hate to admit it, Cap is better at telling this story than I am, and I’m sure he’d tell it to you properly tomorrow if you wanted, but the point remains the same: you are perfect the way you are, and you shouldn’t feel bad just because you like boys. I know that you feel like you’ve been forced to tell May before you’re ready, but she’s a good woman, and we both know how much she loves you. Just as a little extra reassurance though, I need you to understand that if you ever need a place to stay – for whatever reason – you will always be welcome with me.’
Peter gave Tony a watery smile, leaning down to rest his head on his mentor’s shoulder. ‘Thanks, Tony. It really means a lot to me to have your support.’
Neither of them moved for a long time, both caught up in their own thoughts and the comfort of the moment. ‘Tony,’ Peter said at length, his voice sleepy and low. ‘Can we go home now?’
Tony didn’t miss the way that Peter had subtly called the compound home. But instead of acknowledging it, he just hummed and summoned his Iron Man suit, ready to fly them both back to the avengers’ headquarters.
It transpired that the kid was too worked up to sleep alone, and around half an hour after Tony had crawled back into his bed, be felt the mattress dip, and Peter mumble a quiet I couldn’t sleep, Tony before he curled up against him. Tony wasn’t at all surprised at this, and it didn’t take long for them both to drift off into dreamless sleep. They both knew that there was still a lot of things that needed to be worked out in the morning, but for now, Peter was basking in Tony’s unwavering acceptance, and Tony was more than happy to continue to oblige him.