Chapter 9
It was real...
A scream louder than a little girl thrashed through me, without permission.
REFRAIN FROM USING SUCH HIGH VIBRATIONS IT IRRITATES I.
"Me," I said, like a crack-head.
"It irritates me,"
THAT IS ABSURD, I IS A TERM TO REFERENCE ONE'S SELF AND IRRITATES IS A VERB TO DESCRIBE THE NOUN.
"Bro you've got a point, but like, English is like you just got a bunch of words from 10 places and rules from a 5-year-old."
FASCINATING, WHY SO.
"Uh, I've never really thought about it. But there is more slang then actual words in common conversations."
I found myself using a proper diction while talking to him. Whack.
"Like, spill the tea - which means tell me the details of an event of secrecy. Or yeet - which means to throw something. Trash is used to describe anything you don't like, bamboozled isn't slang but it rose to popularity in the past 5 years. Uh, shook means when your surprised and amazed at something."
I don't know where my life went so wrong that I was explaining to an alien species slang terms but hey, it's
"Not as bad as going on failing dates with decent girls." I had not meant to say that out loud Jesus Chris-
YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR OPPOSITE SEX.
"Yeah, issues would be a good word for it,"
I'M ANTI-SHOOK.
Well, that was linguistically incorrect and very insulting.
I sighed and got ready for work.
"Rwaw!"
"Babe I know these 10-hour shifts mean you have to get the easily accessible food all by yourself, you must lead a very traumatizing life,"
"Rwow..." He purred and seemed sadder, not annoyed when I realized that it wasn't food but the fact that he didn't get to see me as much.
That literally broke my heart.
Before I left I made sure to play with Philip and tell him about the weird circumstances of the past week.
"Rwow!" A noble viewpoint.
"Yeah, I agree," I kissed his tinny furry white forehead and left the window open enough for him to venture out when he liked.
HEH, CAT'S PET.
"He's not my pet you dumbass he's my friend,"
That sounded a lot cooler in my head, but, weirdly enough, the voice didn't reply.
That's when my phone got an alert.
Dora: Eddie, we were going over your physiology and cell reproduction rates and ...
Dora: You have lung cancer
What.
~~~