heart of the darkness
The next morning, Tony didn’t get an introduction to the new ‘team’. He woke up to Steve knocking on the door and then he was dressed and down the stairs. Everyone was sitting around in a small den area and Tony felt out of place.
After all, these people were the ones that had been fighting Thanos ever since the snap. They never gave up. Not like Tony did. The others knew this too. They’re not too happy to see him sitting there.
“Glad you could make it,” Clint said sarcastically.
Tony narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say a word. This wasn’t the Clint he knew. This wasn’t the Clint that lived in his vents and played Mario Kart at all hours of the night. No...this was a man that was fucked over one times too many.
“Clint,” Nat said, grabbing his wrist. “Come on.”
He groaned dramatically. “I’m sorry. Am I the only one that sees a problem with this? We’ve been going through hell for years-- we’re the ones that killed that ugly ass grape and now he wants to help?”
“We could use all the help we could get,” Bruce said from his seat. “Tony can help us figure this out.”
A little angry...raccoon, spoke up from where he was perched on Thor’s shoulder. “Yeah. That d-hole is dead, but we still have the small problem of getting everyone back.”
Tony was leaning against the doorway, watching them all. Not really feeling like he belonged in their circle. Peter tugged on his sleeve and said, “Is that a talking raccoon on Thor?” Tony shook his head, just as confused as Peter.
“The rabbit is right,” Thor said. “He may be dead, but we still have ways to go.”
“No shit,” Clint scoffed.
Steve raised his hands to calm them down. “Arguing isn’t going to make this any better.”
Arguing was what got them in this mess in the first place.
“So then, what’s gonna make it better, Cap? Because if you haven’t been able to tell we’ve been stuck.” Clint crossed his arms over his chest.
“If you all want to stop acting like school girls for 10 minutes to let me explain maybe we’ll figure this out,” Wong said, growing impatient with them.
“Unless anyone else has any qualms with me being here,” Tony said, unable to stop himself. He heard Peter tell him to stop because there was no need to start any trouble. But he couldn’t just let it go; they didn’t know what it was like.
“Stark, we all lost people.” Clint glowered. “But you were the only one laying in bed crying all day. Who did you even lose? A kid that you barely knew? Newsflash, a lot of people lost kids.”
Tony tried not to get angry. He knew Clint was only speaking out of grief. He had lost his entire family. His wife and all three kids. Gone. But Peter wasn’t just some kid he barely knew-- he was just another kid to the rest of the world. But not to Tony. He knew if he opened his mouth, he’d snap, so he kept it closed.
“Alright, Clint,” Bruce said. “Come on. We don’t know. It was hard for everyone.”
Wong cleared his throat. “Are we all done now?” No one spoke so he nodded his head. “Thank you. Now, we’ve had all of the stones since we killed that bastard. But I haven’t had any clue where to even start. They could have been banished with any of the stones-- they could have been sent to another period of time or another reality or another planet. I had no idea where to even start. Until the other night when this started glowing.” He lifted one of the stone in his hand, the orange one.
“It’s not glowing,” Nat said with a raised eyebrow.
“Not now. But it was the other day. That means there’s...something going on. Something is disturbing the stone’s peace. I cannot be certain, but I believe it’s because the other half is in here.”
“Well-- how the hell are we supposed to figure that out?” Tony asked, taking a step closer. If it acted up the other night...maybe the night Peter was finally able to show himself to Tony or when he was able to touch him?
“I’m not sure, but that’s why I asked the Captain to make sure we were all together. We figured out how to kill Thanos and get the stones. We can figure this out too. It’s going to take a lot--.” Wong cut himself off when the stone started to pulse slowly.
Everyone shot up to their feet. “It’s glowing!”
Wong froze, studying the stone. “It was never this bright...something...something is triggering it.” He looked around the room slowly with narrowed eyes. “Something is here…” He pocketed the stone quickly and started to chant lowly in another language.
It all happened so fast, Tony didn’t comprehend what he was doing until he heard a pained shout come from just next to Wong. Peter fell to his knees with a cry. “M-Mr. Stark-- ahhh!”
Tony didn’t think. His kid was in pain and he needed it to stop. He turned to Wong and shouted, “Stop it! Stop! You’re hurting him!”
Wong paused his chanting immediately, giving Tony a cautious look. Everyone else stared too. “Who am I hurting, Tony?”
He took a deep breath. There went his plans on hiding Peter from everyone else. Now they would all call him crazy too, but as long as it kept Peter safe, he didn’t care. “Peter. You’re hurting him-- I don’t know what you’re doing, but he was screaming. Please don’t.”
“You can see who is connected to the stone-- the one making it glow?” Wong asked carefully, a hand covering the pocket he had just stuck the stone in.
“Um-- yeah, I can.” Tony said, his eyes watching Peter pick himself back up. He just needed to keep Wong from doing that again.
“Who is it? How did you get connected-- where is he?”
“It’s Peter. The kid I lost.” He pointedly refused to look at anyone in the room. “I don’t know how. I don’t. He says he’s been here since the snap. He doesn’t know why he’s here either, but he’s somehow attached to me.”
Wong’s eyes widened and he took a step closer to Tony, his defensive posture disappearing. “He was one of the other half?”
Tony nodded. “Yeah. He can’t see the others though. He hasn’t seen the others.”
“Wait a second,” Clint said, “You can see him? Like-- he’s in this room?”
“He’s next to Wong,” Tony answered and then turned to face him. “You okay, kid?” He asked since the cat was already out of the bag; he might as well check in on Peter.
“Yeah. Just-- that hurt. Tell him not to do that again,” Peter said, glancing at Wong before walking back to Tony’s side.
Tony cleared his throat. “He asked you not to do that again. It hurt.”
“Am I the only one having a hard time believing this or are we just going along with it?” Clint looked around the room at the others.
Bruce spoke up, looking pained to do so. “Tony...seeing someone you lost is common--.”
Tony threw his hands up in the air, groaning. “Not this again. Jesus. I know I’m not fucking crazy so please don’t bother with this bullshit.”
“Tony--.”
“He’s not insane,” Wong said, silencing Bruce from arguing again. He was still staring at Tony with wide eyes.
“I want to thank you, but I also want to know why you’re believing it so easily and why you look so shocked.”
“I’m just confused...it’s rare to ever find something like this. Especially since neither of you have any magic to make this bond,” Wong explained, but that didn’t make much sense.
“You know why I can see him?” Tony asked.
Wong nodded once. “You’re his anchor.”
“His what?”
“His anchor-- you’ve heard of soulmates, right?”
Tony’s face burned in embarrassment. “He’s not my soulmate-- he’s a child.”
Wong rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Don’t be so narrow-minded. Sometimes people’s soulmates are platonic. Anyway, you two are connected. You share a bond, so when the soul stone tried to take him away, it wasn’t 100% successful. You both really held on-- you didn’t want to let him go and he didn’t want to leave.”
Tony remembered Titan. He remembered the way Peter clung to him as he sobbed. He didn’t want to go. He knew what was coming and more than anyone else, he didn’t want to leave. He was terrified. “Yeah,” he whispered, “you could say that.”
“And you said you can see him?” Wong asked.
“Yeah. At first I could just sense him,” he said, unsure if that made sense. Wong nodded like he understood completely and Tony continued, “But then he could move things and then I saw him. After I could see him though, he couldn’t touch anything.”
Wong nodded his head. “It’s painfully hard to stay in a plane with us like he is. He’s fighting to stay here every day. So, it’s difficult for him to figure out ways to stay without disappearing again.”
Tony froze before slowly turning towards Peter with narrowed eyes. “Painful? Peter, you said you were okay.”
“I am, Mr. Stark,” Peter said quickly, but Tony knew he was lying. He knew.
“Kid, you can’t just keep things from me when we’re dealing with shit like this. Especially if it’s hurting you!”
Tony ignored the others muttering about Tony having a conversation with air as Peter continued, “It hurt at first, but it’s better now! Really.”
Turning back to Wong, Tony asked, “He says it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Is that possible or is he being a lying shit again?”
Wong hesitated, glancing to where Tony was just looking. “He could be telling the truth. You being his anchor gives him the strength to stay. He feeds off of you.”
“Feeds off of me?”
“Whatever you feel...he feels. So the better off you are: mentally and physically, the better off he is.”
Tony felt his heart drop in his stomach. “Wait. So, all the times that I was drinking and…” He trailed off, remembering the nights after nights that he spent passed out after too many bottles. Maybe that was one reason why Peter wasn’t able to appear. He swallowed. “Peter was feeding off me?”
“Perhaps. But it’s also very difficult to even do what he’s doing.” His face softened. “You both must be very close.”
“I guess I am useful for something,” Tony joked, trying to get the conversation away from feelings. He already talked about loving this kid to a shrink. He didn’t need to do it again.
“Is he?” Nat said. “Can we use this to help?”
Wong considered the question. “This child is connected to the soul stone, but he’s not in it. I think it’s safe to say the others are trapped in here. And his fear kept him from following.”
Peter mumbled, rubbing his arm. “It’s dark.”
“I’m going to have to look more into how we can use the child to help us, but I think there’s something in the books. There is so little known about the stones, this will be more of a trial and error.”
“We don’t have time for that. Every day we waste is another day they’re trapped in there,” Clint said, running a hand through his hair.
“I gotta agree with Snark over there,” the racoon said. “We’ve been sitting with our thumbs up our asses for too long. We’ve got a chance, I say whatever it takes, we try it.”
Tony took a protective step in front of Peter even thought they couldn’t see him. He didn’t like how they were all talking. Yes, getting the other half back was important, but so was keeping Peter safe. “Hey, now, we’ve waited three years...I think we can take a few days to figure out a solid plan.”
“It’ll take me a few hours at least to figure something out,” Wong said, looking apologetic. “I’ll have some others help me search for something to help us. Any of you are free to join me. I’ll call you back when I’ve got something.” He looked around the room before settling his gaze on the spot next to Tony. “We’ve got something here though. We’ve definitely got something.”
He left the room, Thor following close behind with the raccoon still on his shoulder. He stopped by Tony and squeezed his shoulder. “It’s good to see you, Stark. I hope your son can aid us.”
“He’s not my son,” Tony said while Peter tried to muffle a laugh beside him.
“No need to be ashamed. Because of your special bond, we’re closer than we ever were.” Thor gave him a big smile and Peter bounced excitedly by his side-- Tony really had to tell this kid to work on hiding his crushes because his giant man crush on Thor was so painfully obvious.
He grinned and said, “No problem, buddy-- oh and Peter, here, says he likes your new haircut. Very handsome. I think the kid has a little crush.”
Peter immediately sputtered beside him with red cheeks. “Tell him you’re lying, Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark!”
Thor didn’t seem anything wrong with the comment and he smiled. “Thank you, Starkson.”
Peter was hiding his face in his hands to cover his flushed face even though only Tony could see him. Tony wrapped an arm around him and grinned. “See, little buddy? I told you to not to worry. He’s flattered.”
Peter groaned, his cheeks burning red as he covered his face. “I hate you,” he mumbled.
“Oh, yeah? Well, our platonic soulbond says differently,” Tony only half joked, mostly wanting to see how Peter would react to that news.
“Hey, you love me just as much as I love you. Soul bonds work both ways.”
“You’re an expert now, huh?”
“Sure am.”
“Oh, I’m--.”
“Okay, is anyone else completely weirded out about this?” Clint asked, interrupting them.
Tony turned away from Peter and looked towards the ones that remained in the room. Bruce looked confused because he was a genius in science and this had zero scientific explanation, Nat looked hesitant to believe what was going on, and Steve looked curious. “I don’t know what to tell you. I can see him. He’s not some sort of hallucination because I’m insane. He’s here with us. I know he is.”
“So this...bond is real?” Bruce asked, furrowing his brow.
“I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s a bond or what. I just know he’s here.” Tony glanced briefly to where Peter was standing, almost looking embarrassed.
“I’m glad,” Steve said, making everyone turn to face him. “Not even just because the boy may be the reason we get the dusted back, but because you need him here. We need Tony Stark at his best and it’s obvious without this kid, you’re not the same. You need him.”
“How?” Natasha asked.
Tony frowned, looking over at her. “How what?”
“I’ve known you for years. And while you’ve definitely changed and have gotten softer-.”
“I have not,” Tony interrupted, appalled at the comment. He was not soft.
“You have gotten softer,” Natasha repeated. “But this is different. It takes years for you to trust someone and suddenly, you’ve got this kid? How the hell did a kid worm his way into Tony Stark’s heart?”
“This kid is different. He’s not like anyone else. If you knew him, even you would tear down your walls for him,” Tony told her, without a doubt in his mind. If anyone could get through to the Black Widow’s soft core, it was Peter.
“How’d you meet him?” Bruce asked, still trying to find the facts in this situation.
Tony paused and decided he couldn’t just out Peter’s identity even if he could trust the people in this room. Not without talking to Peter and getting his permission. “He’s an intern.”
“An intern,” Clint said, dubiously.
“Yup.”
“Okay, you may have them fooled, but coming from a father, I don’t think he’s just an intern. Especially because of the way you both fought the power of all the damn Infinity Stones.”
Tony cleared his throat. “Well, that’s how I met him. He was my intern and he worked in the lab with me so we got to know each other. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I can’t wait to meet this kid,” Natasha said. “Because he’s not just an intern and he somehow melted Tony Stark.”
Tony looked away from them, glaring at the ground for a second before sniffing and looking back up at them, removing all emotion from his face. “We’re not some circus act, you know.”
“Might as well be.”
Tony knew Natasha didn’t mean anything other than teasing Tony for having a soft spot, but he didn’t like being some sideshow for everyone else just because they had this bond. “Oh, great.” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “As much as we’d love to stay here and be stared at like we’re crazy, we’re gonna go back to our room and get some rest before Wong tells us how Peter’s gotta save the day.”
He started walking away, Peter close to his side, but before he could get away, Clint grabbed his arm. “Wait,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, Tony.”
Tony turned around, blinking. “I’m sorry can you repeat that?”
“I’m sorry,” Clint repeated, looking frustrated. “I know I’ve been an asshole to you...I lost my family. Was reading my kids a bedtime story when they turned to dust and--.”
“Hey,” Tony said softly, putting a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s okay. I get it. Don’t worry. We’re gonna get them back. I promise you.”
--
Hours later, they were all in the same spots they were in that morning. Tony stood a bit closer to the group and Peter sat on the couch next to Steve, who was sitting up straight, afraid to accidentally sit on the kid or something.
“The stone is like a door,” Wong said. “It leads into the soul universe and that’s where the other half is. But unfortunately it is a door that locks. But with every lock, there is a key. We’d been missing that key until today. Tony’s boy is our key.”
Everyone sat up a bit straighter because that meant it was possible to get them all back here. “How is he the key?” Bruce asked, curiously.
“He is connected to the soul stone. It wants him in there. But he’s also connected to here, to Tony,” he specified. “So, he can go from one to the other if he concentrates enough. He crosses over and he can go into the soul stone.”
“What happens when he’s in there? How is he supposed to help us out here?” Nat crossed her arms over her chest.
“Well, he can come back. It’s going to a bit of practice, but he’ll be able to navigate easily from the soul realm back to Tony. Their bond is strong enough for him not to get lost.”
Peter tensed up, turning to face Tony. “I don’t want to go-- I don’t want to go into the dark.”
The Dark. Tony cursed under his breath. “Wong, the kid is worried about the dark.” He shook his head when that sounded too childish. “Not like the dark, but The Dark.”
Wong sighed. “Yes, it does require passing through Pitch. It’s complete darkness and very easy to get lost in. That’s why we have to practice it before he actually goes in there. Because if we lose him there, it would be near impossible to get him back.”
“I don’t want to go back there.” Peter shot to his feet, the lights in the room flickering harshly. “I barely found you last time. I can’t do it again.”
Tony immediately took a few steps forward, holding the kid by his arms. “Woah, kiddo. It’s okay. We’re gonna practice. And even if you ever get lost, now that I know you’re out there, I will do everything I can to drag you back.”
Peter was still staring at him with wide eyes, but he wasn’t outwardly protesting it anymore, so Tony counted it as a minor win.
“It’ll be very safe,” Wong assured him. “A few hours a day we’ll practice and then you’ll be an expert. It won’t be bad at all.”
Clint stood up and looked at Tony. “Where is he?” Tony hesitated but gestured to the kid and Clint turned his attention to Peter-- well Peter’s chest. “Kid, I know it’s scary. But I also know you’re a hero. And sometimes heroes have to do scary things to be brave. But I know you can do this. We all do. You can bring them back.”
Peter looked torn, but Tony knew him more than enough to know that Peter Parker would never put himself before others. No matter how terrified he was, he was going to do everything within his power to bring the other half back. Clint knew that too. “O-okay,” he said. “I’ll do it.”
“That’s my boy,” Tony said, clapping him on the shoulder as he turned to Wong again. “He says he’ll do it.”
Wong’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank goodness. Peter, we appreciate this deeply. Everyone on this planet. You are doing a great thing,”
“What do I have to do?” He asked with his chin held high, even though Tony could hear just a small bit of nervousness in his voice.
“Kid’s eager. When can he start?”
“We’ll start tomorrow,” Wong said. “He’s going to need a long rest tonight because tomorrow will be very exhausting for his first day.”
Tony waved him off. “Kid doesn’t need sleep like we do.”
Wong frowned. “He still requires sleep. Sleep helps his strength replenish so it’s not as hard to stay here.”
Tony turned back to Peter with wide eyes. “Peter, tell me he is lying. Tell me you haven’t been avoiding sleep and lied to me about it.”
Clint shook his head, taking a seat again. “Two for two,” he mumbled.
“I don’t--.”
“Peter, look me in the eyes.”
“I…” Peter sighed heavily. “Okay, yeah. Maybe I need some sleep.”
Tony shook his head. “Oh, we are so talking about this later.”
Wong cleared his throat to grab their attention again. “You’re both going to need some rest. The tethering works both ways. If you’re not strong enough to hold on, he may not be able to find you. We’re going to have to really work on all of that tomorrow. Hopefully, within the week we’ll be able to try the real thing.”
“If you don’t mind my interrupting,” Steve said, “but it seems like we’re going to be spending a lot of time with each other until we can undo all of this mess. It feels wrong not to be able to talk to Peter unless Tony is the middle man.” In his hand, he was holding a small whiteboard and marker. “One time I got so sick I couldn’t speak for days. My ma gave me a blackboard and chalk to communicate.”
Tony stared at Steve and was strangely touched by the fact that he thought of something to help Peter feel more involved with them. “So you got him a whiteboard of his own to use?”
Steve hesitated before saying, “Yeah. If that’s okay. He can...use it, right?”
Tony didn’t even have to answer him; Peter was hurrying to his side immediately and tugging the marker and board from his hands. Tony laughed at the surprised look on Steve’s face. “That’s Pete.”
Steve looked over to Tony and then back to the space in front of him. “Hey, bud. You wanna sit? We can talk a little more? I wanna get to know the brave kid that’s really saving our asses here.”
Instead of taking a spot on the couch like Tony expected him to, Steve lowered himself to the ground and sat there with his legs crossed and the board and marker on the floor in front of him. Peter copied his pose sitting just on the other side with a larger smile. after years, someone other than Tony was finally giving him attention.
The entire room watched with bated breath as nothing happened. Then Peter was comfortable and he reached forward grabbing the marker and uncapping it. To Tony, it didn’t seem strange, but to everyone else that couldn’t see Peter holding the marker, they were in awe. Steve was the only one that didn’t make a big deal of it and gasp. Clint was staring at Tony like he had grown another head.
Peter didn’t even realize the room’s reaction as he leaned forward and started to write. “Mr. Stark, look! I can talk to other people on my own!”
“I see that, kiddo. And I’m so happy for you.”
He finished writing his message to Steve and then turned it around to face him. It read: Hi, Mr. Rogers! I’m Peter!”
Steve laughed. “You can call me Steve, son.”
Peter rolled his eyes, turning to Tony. “What’s with you adults and not appreciating respectful children?”
Tony laughed loudly at that. “What can I say, kid? You’re a diamond in the rough.”
Peter turned back to his board, erasing what was written and continuing the conversation with Steve. The others came to sit with them as well, baffled at what was going on.
The only person not enamored with the event was Wong. While Peter was distracted, he grabbed Tony’s arm and brought him to a wall further away so Peter wouldn’t hear them. “Tony, I wouldn’t suggest letting anyone know about your boy other than the people in this room.”
Tony frowned. “Yeah, of course. I don’t really wanna be seen as crazy anyway. So I’ll keep it a secret.”
There seemed to be a more serious reason behind Wong’s worrying. “I’m not even telling anyone here unless I trust them and it’s absolutely necessary.”
“Why?” Tony asked, his own worry now increasing. He had the sudden urge to grab Peter and go lock him in their room.
“Peter is the only connection we have to the others. This bond he not only has to you, but also to the soul stone is frighteningly powerful. Do you know what people are willing to do to see their loved ones again?”
Tony swallowed thickly, shaking his head.
“They’ll do anything.”
Tony looked back to where Peter was laughing with the others as he scribbled on the board. Then he turned back to Wong with not but determination in his voice. “Well, then it’s a good thing I’d do anything to keep him safe.”
“He’s a lucky kid.”
Tony could argue that he was the lucky one. Instead he just smiled and nodded. “Guess he is...though, I don’t know much of this bond stuff...how does it work? Anything I should know?”
“He doesn’t have control over his emotions, so that’s going to be hard for him. But you can help with your own. If you’re upset, he will get upet. But, if you’re calm, he will get calm. You’re the only solid thing he knows of right now. Just keep him calm and feeling safe and it’ll be easy to keep him here.”
“Keep him feeling safe?” Tony scoffed. “I live for that. You can count on me.”
Wong’s face softened. “I know I can. He’s in good hands. That’s why we have such a good chance at fixing this. Because you two love each other so deeply.”
At one time, Tony would have blushed and stuttered out a disagreement to that statement. But now, he just smiled. “Love him doesn't even start to describe about how I feel for that kid. I’d die for him without a second thought.”
--
After they got back to their room and Peter had told Tony all about his afternoon and meeting the Avengers, it grew silent. When he realized that Tony wasn’t in such a happy mood, he refused to look at Tony. Maybe he hoped Tony would just happen to forget about the fact that Peter hadn’t been sleeping as much as he should. And the fact that he lied to Tony about it so Tony let the kid stay up, stupidly thinking he was fine.
Well, not anymore. It wasn’t that late, but the sun was still down and this kid was going to sleep, dammit. He pulled down the blankets and gestured to the bed. “Get in,” he said using his voice that Peter should have known not to argue with.
“Mr. Stark--,” Peter started, but silenced when Tony shook his head. He sighed and climbed into bed but didn’t lay down.
Tony joined him. “Peter, we’re not arguing this. You’re going to sleep.”
Peter squeezed the blanket in his fists with a pained expression. “But Mr. Stark, you don’t understand.”
Tony tried to remain patient with the kid. He really didn’t understand what Peter was going through, but he couldn’t let him continue to exist with no sleep. Especially if they were going to use him to get the others back. “Peter, you need sleep.”
“I can’t!” He shouted with wide eyes.
“Why not, kid? It hurts you to be here and sleeping will help strengthen this...bond.” He gestured between the two of them with a hand. “This is something we can fix now. And I know, kid, I know the dark is scary, but--.”
“No!” Peter was quick to shout. “It’s not just like the lights being off. It’s...it’s nothing. There’s nothing there. I’m floating and it’s just pitch black with nothing there. Nothing to see or hear or grab onto. I just float endlessly and it’s scary. I don’t want to go back. I can’t. I can’t--.” He was interrupted as the lights flashed so bright, Tony had to cover his eyes to block them and then they flickered to their original setting.
Tony raised his eyebrows. “You’re good at that-- messing with the lights.”
“I’m sorry,” Peter said, looking down at his lap.
“No-- no need to say sorry, kiddo. I just...it happens when you’re upset and I think both of us have realized that you’re not good at controlling any of your feelings.” He’s scared. He’s terrified. And Tony could do nothing about it.
“I can’t help it-- I don’t know why.” Peter’s hands started to shake and Tony reached out to put a hand over his to try and soothe him.
“It’s not your fault,” he reassured him. “Wong said it was normal-- with you being in this state...between this realm and the soul realm, you’re more vulnerable right now.” He hesitated, wondering whether or not he should share the next part. “And when you left...you were-- well, you were scared. You’re still scared, yeah? Of being lost in The Dark. It’s part of what is keeping you here.” Because when you’re scared, you cling to me.
Peter nodded his head slowly. “If I fall asleep...how do I know I’ll wake up here again?”
“Because I know you will. You’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you. You’re gonna wake up next to me after a long night’s rest.” Tony wasn’t positive, but it seemed the bond they had worked both ways. And Tony was sure as hell going to hold on as strongly to Peter as he could.
That seemed to calm Peter down slightly, but his shoulders were still tight in fear. “But...even when I sleep and I’m still here...it’s still dark.”
Tony sighed, wishing he could keep the kid feeling safe all the time. But he knew Peter had to go through this. He was going to be okay. “Kid, I know you’re afraid. But I’ll be right here the whole time. And I don’t know how it works for you-- you don’t need to eat, but you need to sleep for this to work. You need sleep to stay strong. If you want to do this-- to bring the others back--.”
“Of course, I do!” Peter said, sitting up straight.
“If you want to do this,” Tony repeated with an emphasis, “then, you’re going to get sleep and have the strength for it. You’re not going to hurt yourself doing this. You’re going to do exactly what Wong tells you to do. And now, he’s told you to sleep. So, you’re going to sleep.”
Peter looked like he wanted to fight it, but he also knew Tony was right. He must have been struggling with no sleep. He needed this relief. “You’ll stay with me the whole night?”
Tony nodded. “Of course. And I won’t leave your side.”
Peter hesitated. “You promise?”
“‘Coure I promise.” Tony held a hand over his heart and recited, “I meant what I said. I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful 100%.” Peter stared at him like he was insane and Tony lowered his hand. “What-- have you never heard of that?”
“A faithful elephant?” Peter questioned dubiously.
“Dr. Suess, you heathen! He’s a classic.” Tony huffed in disbelief.
“Sure. The Cat in the Hat is a literary masterpiece.”
“And so is Horton Hatches the Egg!”
“I’ve never even heard of it.”
“Because you're a heathen,” Tony repeated. “We're going to fix that though. After this mess is over, you're getting a bedtime story.”
Peter smiled, his posture relaxed as he laid down on the pillow. “Good. I can’t wait.”
Tony laid down next to him with a smile of his own. “You better not tell anyone. I have a reputation to live up to.”
“Sure you do, Mr. Stark,” Peter mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Watch it, kid,” Tony said with no heat behind his words.
Peter didn't say anything in response, but after a few seconds, he reached out and grabbed Tony's wrist. Tony froze, watching as Peter wrapped his fingers securely around him without opening his eyes. Tony moved closer, pulling the kid against his chest and threaded his fingers, from the hand not being held, through Peter's hair. He hoped the kid could feel it. “Alright, buddy. It's alright. I've got you.”
Peter fell asleep tucked close in Tony's arms as Tony kept up his steady rhythm of playing with Peter's curls.
And the light stayed on all night.
--
The next morning, Tony woke up to the sun shining in through the window right on his eyes. He wanted to pull the blankets over his head and get some more sleep, but then last night came back to him and he snapped his eyes open.
Peter was still there. He was curled against Tony’s side still, breathing heavily in sleep. Tony hadn’t seen Peter like this in years.
Before Titan, they used to always crash on the couch while watching movies. Peter always fell right asleep when he was tired. He never tried keeping himself up if he didn’t want to. He could be awake one moment and then knocked out cold in the next. Usually, he landed on Tony’s shoulder.
The kid was an octopus when he slept. He’d clutch to Tony like he was afraid of being dragged away and refused to loosen his grip until he was awake. Right now, it was now different than any of the other times Peter had fallen asleep with him.
Tony hadn’t realized how much he missed it: holding Peter close in his arms and running his hands through his hair. Knowing that he was safe and secure in his arms and nobody could hurt him.
It was something he took for granted.
And even know, he could[lt be sure that in his arms meant he was safe.
Because Peter had been in his arms. He had held onto Tony so tightly and Tony was returning the grip. And still, he disappeared.
Closing his eyes, to let himself enjoy the peace of this moment before they had to start their day, Tony made a promise to himself that it would never happen again. When he got Peter back, he was here to stay.
He brushed his fingers through Peter’s hair, hating that it didn’t feel how it should. And he softly whispered to the boy, “I’m gonna keep you safe. I promise. You’re safe.”
--
Saying everyone was anxious to get started was an underestimate. No one took their time eating (Tony wasn't sure if Clint chewed any of his food before swallowing), no one lounged around after and turned on the television.
“Is he okay?” Steve came up to him as Wong set up whatever they needed. “We can wait.”
“Tell him I'm okay,” Peter said immediately. He had forgotten the board in their bedroom in his excitement to get started. “I'm ready to do this.”
Tony knew even if he wasn't, Peter would always say he was ready. The world was literally depending on him. Not that the world knew that, so really they wouldn’t be any more disappointed than they already were. But Peter knew that he could fix it, so of course, he wasn’t going to stand back.
“Kid’s fine, Cap. I’m the one you should be asking about. My heart can’t take all this stress. I just got him back and he’s already jumping back into danger to be a hero.”
“He’ll be fine,” Steve reassured him, squeezing his arm gently. “I know Queens can handle himself.”
Peter perked up at that comment with a proud smile. Tony rolled his eyes. “Oh, great, you’re feeding into his self-sacrificing complex. The kid’s gonna think he’s invincible now.”
“I don’t know, Tony. I think the kid may be stronger than me.”
Tony knew what he was doing. Steve was good that way; he always knew exactly how to pull a team together or get them ready for a battle. He was getting Peter ready for this. He was giving him the support he needed. “I guess we’ll have to test that once we figure this mess out.”
Steve laughed and nodded his head in agreement while Peter started to bounce excitedly. “Really, Mr. Stark? Holy shit, that would be awesome! We could go to the compound and in the training room, we could lift weights-- or not even weights because that was too easy, but we could lift things. Like refrigerators or cars! You could be a judge and Happy-- Rhodey too! Maybe even invite the other avengers and have like a party.”
Steve was staring at Tony as Tony silently listened to Peter ramble on. Sometimes he forgot that the others didn’t know when he was silent because the kid was talking and they gave him strange looks for being so silent for long periods of time. He winced apologetically and whispered, knowing the kid wouldn’t hear him while he was too busy rambling about lifting buildings now, “He's rambling, sorry. We're working on it.”
Steve smiled at him. “I can't wait to meet this kid in person-- officially. But for now, we’re gonna have to tie that board around his neck, huh?”
“Hear that, kiddo?” Tony asked, looking to Peter with a grin. “Captain America is excited to meet you.”
Peter stared at Steve with wide eyes before falling back on the nearest couch. His head landed on Clint’s lap and the archer startled, staring down at his lap. “Is he…?”
Tony nodded his head, rolling his eyes. “Yeah. He's being a drama queen.”
Clint’s face softened as he looked down at his lap. “Hey, kid, giving Stark a hard time?”
Peter grinned up at him. “Like always!”
“Oh, you little shit,” Tony cursed. He explained to Clint, “He said: ‘like always’.”
Clint howled with a laugh. “Atta boy!”
“Sounds like we're ready?” Wong said, walking closer to them with a cup of something disgustingly green in his hand.
“Ready as we'll ever be,” Tony answered. He kept his eyes on Peter, trying to see if any sign of nervousness was showing. He seemed excited.
“Very good. Today won't be too intense, but since it's his first try, it's going to take a lot of of him.” He raised the cup. “Hopefully, this will help with that.”
“As much as I wish I could watch Peter drink that sludge, the kid can't drink anything-- unless he lied about that too.” He narrowed his eyes at the kid and all he got was a smile.
“This isn't for the boy. This is for you.”
Tony's head whipped back to Wong as Peter giggled. “What?”
“You’re his anchor, he gets strength from you. You drink this and you'll make it easier.” He handed it to Tony and he took it with a hesitant hand.
Tony held it up to his eyes. “It looks disgusting.”
“That's because it is.”
Tony made a face down at it and Peter said, “Pinch your nose! Maybe that'll help.”
With a groan, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and lifted the cup to his lips. He almost gagged the second it touched his tongue, but he kept drinking. If this was going to help Peter, then he'd drink a million of these every day.
Once it was empty, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and gagged. “Blech. Please tell me I don't have to drink that every time we do this.”
Wong took the dirty cup from him and handed it to student that was helping him. He disappeared and Tony hoped he didn't come back. Tony didn't trust anyone other than the team around Peter-- even if Wong only told a few select students that he needed assistance from. “It will help him.”
Tony groaned. “Guess we're drinking it every day.”
“Can we start now?” Peter asked, jumping off the couch excitedly.
“Slow down there, buckaroo. We're gonna start soon. Don't worry.” Tony put a hand on the kid’s shoulder. He still wasn't used to the static he felt every time he touched him.
“Once you two sit and get comfortable, we can start.” Wong gestured to the empty couch.
Tony turned to Peter and nodded his head. “C’mon, wild one. Let's get this show on the road.” Tony took a seat next to Peter after he plopped down on the seat.
“We're not going to save the world today. Again, this is simply to start building up your tolerance and strength. I don't want to send you in without any training.”
“let me be clear: he's not going in at all unless he's 100% ready.” Tony offered no room for arguing. Peter was his responsibility. What he said, went.
“You can't-- Mr. Stark, I'll be fine. I lose nothing by trying. I'm already stuck like this...what could be worse?” Peter whined, his shoulders slumping.
“Are we really going to play this game?” Tony asked. “I know you're not here, but at least you're back. You were gone for years and finally, I've got you back. That's something we're risking. What if you disappear for good?”
“But what about everyone else? Why am I more important than everyone else?” Peter asked and Tony didn't want to answer that. Because he looked around the room and he knew everyone was affected by it-- Clint lost his entire family, for Christ's sake...but selfishly, that didn't change Tony's mind. Peter was more important than every person in the half that disappeared. What a terrifying thought.
“Peter…”
“10 bucks says the kid is arguing with Tony about holding him back,” Natasha commented, earning a chuckle from Clint.
“You'd be right.” Tony huffed, knowing he wasn't going to win. “The kid is stupidly self-sacrificing.”
“Sound like someone else,” Natasha said pointedly as she stared at Tony.
“Sounds like the entire superhero population,” Clint grumbled.
“We shouldn't have to worry about anything going wrong,” Wong said. “As long as we do this right, he'll be fine. But, in this state, he will be most vulnerable-- more so than he already is.”
Tony moved closer to Peter protectively.
“He's going to--.” He looked at Tony. “Can you tell me where he is? I want to address him.”
“Oh-- yeah, here.” Tony ruffled Peter's hair, leaving his hand on his head.
Wong kneeled down and stared close enough to Peter's face. Peter moved to make his gaze more accurate. “Peter, this is going to seem scary. Please know that when you close your eyes, when you go into The Dark to find the soul realm, we will be right here. You're not going anywhere like you did when you disappeared-- not yet. You're still going to be, holding on tight to Tony. Try to remember that so you can remain calm. Being anxious will make it harder for you to cross over and stay there safely.”
Peter nodded his head determinedly, putting on his brave face even though Tony was the only one that could see him. “I trust you.”
“He says he trusts you,” Tony said softly, running his finger through his hair once more before pulling his hand back.
“Then I guess we can get started.” Wong gave Peter another smile before standing up. He pulled the stone from his pocket and held it out to Peter. “This is going to be your compass. It'll help you find your way through the dark.”
Peter reached for it, but the moment his fingers brushed against it, he yelped and pulled his hand back. “It burns!”
Tony tensed, turning to Wong. “He said it hurts-- is it supposed to hurt?”
Wong shook his head in slight exasperation. “Don't try to touch it. He's not able to touch it on his own like this-- remember we’re supposed to be building tolerance.”
“Then how--?”
“You hold it and then Peter grasps your hand around it. Hold it between your hands and it'll be okay.”
Tony scrunched his face. “What? How does me holding it take away the pain?”
“Don't doubt the power of of a bond.” Wong lowered the stone into Tony's hand and Peter didn't waste a second before grabbing Tony's hand. The stone glowed bright between their hands and even then, Peter didn't show any signs of pain.
He looked up at Tony with a grin. “He's right, Mr. Stark! It doesn't hurt at all.”
Tony couldn't keep the awe off his face and Wong chuckled. “I guess that's our cue to start. Peter, you're going to need to relax and concentrate. Balancing between this world and the soul world can be difficult, but your anchor is here. You're not going to be lost.”
“I don't know what to do. Ask him what I'm supposed to do,” Peter said, looking over at Tony.
“What's the kid’s job?” Tony asked.
“Just close your eyes. Go to the place you’re hiding from and you're going to see the light that looks just like the stone. Follow it. But when it starts to hurt or you feel yourself losing Tony, come back. You're not going to get there on or first try. Remember we're building up. You need to come back when it feels dangerous.”
Peter's grip on his hand tightened slightly. “Don't worry. The second I feel like I'm losing you, I'll come back. I don't want to get lost again.”
Tony believed him. “Good. Then let's get started.”
Wong nodded and said, “Close your eyes.” Tony gave a thumb-up when he obliged. “Drift from Tony. Know he's still holding onto you, but drift away.”
Tony could see the panic as his face tightened. “I've got your hand, buddy. I'm not letting go.”
Peter relaxed his shoulders, but he didn’t loosen his hold on the stone and Tony’s hand. “I see it-- the light.”
Wong’s voice was soft and soothing as he answered, “Good. Just keep following it. That’s all you have to do. Follow it until you need to come back.”
Peter was breathing slowly as he nodded his head once and then he was silent as he focused. Tony watched him intently, searching for any signs of discomfort. The minutes passed and there was no change-- he looked almost like he was asleep. No one else in the room spoke either. It stayed like that for a handful of minutes-- Tony lost track as he watched Peter.
When Peter came back to, he gasped and fell forward into Tony’s arms. He let go of the stone to hold him tightly with both hands. Tony rubbed his back soothingly as he whispered, “You’re okay, kiddo.”
“I thought-- I thought I was getting lost again,” he mumbled between heavy pants.
“You aren’t going anywhere, Pete.” His hand rubbed up his back and neck until it found its place in his messy curls. “I’ve got you.”
Peter didn’t say anything more as he let his breath even out. Wong stared at Tony and asked quietly, “He’s back?”
“Yeah-- a bit rattled,” Tony replied, pulling Peter even closer.
“After these sessions, he will be very anxious and drained. Once, he calms down, he’ll be ready to sleep for hours.” Wong reached forward and took the soul stone back in his hands.
Peter pulled back, blinking heavily as he stared at Wong. “Wait-- is that it? We can’t be done. I barely did anything.”
Tony shook his head. “You did more than enough, Peter. We said we were going to take this little by little. You did good today.”
Wong nodded his head, even though he could hear Peter’s argument. “We knew you wouldn't do much. We don’t want to push too far. Soon enough, a few days, and you’ll be ready.”
Peter looked like he wanted to continue to put up a fight, but he leaned heavily against Tony with a mumble. Tony looked down at him in amusement. “Are you really that wiped out?”
Wong answered for him, “Crossing through while still holding onto staying here is very taxing. He’ll get less exhausted as he builds up his strength. Not completely though. It’s just one of the side effects.”
Tony smiled softly. “It’s fine.” And it was. It was more than fine. He hadn’t had a sleepy Peter clinging to him in years...God, he missed it. He forgot what it felt like, even if this didn’t feel like the real thing because Peter wasn’t himself-- it was still close enough.