It CAN Get Weirder!

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It CAN Get Weirder!
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Summary
The Amazing Spider-Ham gets into a tussle with Doctor Octo-pussy Cat (oh yeah, THAT'S a real character) and finds himself transformed... into a Spider-Man? Come on, that pig thing was his whole shtick! According to a brand new map-goober combo device, the key to becoming his best (read: pig) self again is located in a strange, nearly-abandoned universe, quarantined from other universes by force. Spider-Ham--wait, no, Spider-Ham-Man? Is going to need some help from a few old friends--and a Private Eye who looks really cute under that mask.
Note
Hey peeps! For context, this fic is alive because I have entered myself into a competition with my friends: we each chose a fandom, and were given two random characters from it (excluding anything reeeeally gross) and whoever writes the best fic about whatever horrible concoction they're given gets $50. You can, uh, probably guess which pairing I got. Stay tuned.
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Apologies for the lack of an update...

“Don’t need ‘em. I’ve never danced, and I’m not going to start now.” Noir was distracted, completely. He seemed almost desperate.

Is he afraid of losing someone else?

Peter started to say something, but the detective had moved on, scanning the streets and rooftops. Ham put the cork back in and prayed that the guy was right, following just behind him, ready for a possible fight. His senses were on high alert, weak as they were in a human body. He put a hand to his mask and felt his nose through his mask. It was so weird and pointy-yet-snub. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and jumped as he saw a small figure spinning in a circle, arms outstretched, singing with the passion of Lil’ Orphan Annie.

A notably black-haired schoolgirl-skirted girl, with a futuristic robot. Bingo.



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