The lines around his eyes rang of a pain that she had never known and wished to never become familiar.
She wanted to drain every ounce of suffering from his body. She wanted to see his eyes light up like they used to. She wanted to see the subtle, yet gentle smile that used to occupy his face.
After Siberia, after Steve, Tony was broken. Left with a broken leg and arm. Left with a cracked rib. Left with a shattered heart.
He sat in his workshop. He tinkered with all of his little gadgets and messed with his suits. He stayed down there for days. Sleepless days consumed his mind. Dark circles encompassed his eyes and his heart.
He lost weight. He stopped eating. He stopped caring. His clothes grew too big. His sweatpants too baggy and his shirts seemed to consume him. His ribs showed through his skin.
He stopped talking. He didn’t come upstairs anymore. He didn’t watch movies with her anymore. He didn’t take her on dates anymore. He didn’t even make eye contact with her anymore.
Steve shattered him. Steve killed him. He wasn’t Tony Stark anymore. He wasn’t Iron Man anymore. He wasn’t a person anymore.
She sat at the bar in the empty headquarters. She cried. She moaned. She prayed. She wanted a future. She wanted the man she loved to live. He wasn’t living anymore.
He couldn’t breathe. Each time he inhaled, the feeling of Steve’s shield being drilled into his chest came rushing back. Each time he exhaled, he could feel the emotional drowning of Steve’s betrayal. He didn’t want to breathe anymore.
She couldn’t live like this anymore. She couldn’t see him like that anymore. She hated herself every time she looked into his eyes. She hated that she couldn’t help. She hated that he wouldn’t let her. Every time she offered, she got the same shake of the head.
She left a note. A heartfelt note. A painful note. A dreadful note. It read…
To the man I once knew, I love you. Goodbye.
Her hands shook as he placed the note on his table. Her eyes filled with tears as she packed her bags. Her heart dropped as she closed the front door.
She loved him. She loved the old him. The man who loved her back. The man who spoke. The man who ate. The man who slept. The man who lived.
She couldn’t see him die. She wouldn’t let herself. She tried. She called therapists. She scheduled appointments. She called in his old friends. She offered her comfort.
He pushed it all away. He pushed life away.
He watched her walk to her car from the security cameras. His heart cried out as he heard the engine roar. His body screamed as she pulled away.
He pulled out his phone. He hit the familiar name. The dial tone filled the empty air of his workshop. His bones cried as each second ticked by. He fell to the ground filled with regret.
“Tony?”
“I love you too.”