just a few pop culture references

tony and stephen would never understand peter. the teen kept saying things that didn’t really make sense. though tony caught on from time to time, the two facial haired males would always be left confused at whatever came out of peter’s mouth.

the family were in the middle of a battle, each one fighting a different enemy. peter was doing quite well, dodging every punch and kick the villain would throw at him. the arachnid hero seemed to get distracted though and got punched straight in the face. the sudden contact caused peter to fall to the ground and his fathers to turn their attention to him.
“peter! are you alright?” stephen asked, walking up to the kid. the two had already defeated their villains and offered to help peter. the brunette boy declined their offer, saying he could do it by himself. clearly he couldn’t. peter slowly got up, touching his cheek softly and wincing when he felt a sharp pain. he stared at the monster in anger before saying.
“ah, fuck! i can’t believe you’ve done this.” he webbed the villain and gestured for tony to blast him and the iron hero did. stephen just watched in disbelief at what his son had said. when they went back to the compound, stephen asked peter about what he said and the kid’s response was:
“you know, doctor dad. pop culture references.”

stephen didn’t know pop culture references.

peter had invited ned and mj over to complete a class project for art. they decided to take a break and get something to eat. they went to the kitchen. mj got a bag of crisps, peter made himself toast and ned got a croissant. of course, peter decided to scare him. so, when ned was walking up the stairs to peter’s room the arachnid hero jumped out and screeched. ned yelped before casually responding to peter’s scare.
“stop! i could’ve dropped my croissant!” peter howled with laughter whilst mj smiled slightly. tony had heard the whole thing and just walked past, too confused to ask why.

tony and stephen thought peter was bad. they thought peter with mj and ned was even worse. well, they hadn’t even met peter and shuri yet. it seemed like their conversations were only in pop culture references, and it made tony feel as old and uncultured as steve rogers.
“PATRISHA!” shuri yelled from the living room. peter then swung in, no he literally swung in, saying,
“oh sorry, i fell asleep whilst i was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.” shuri instantly glared at him, though she let out a few snorts and giggles to show that the words that were about to come out of her mouth didn’t mean no harm.
“go back to sleep, and starve!” she yelled. the two teens stared at each other and started to laugh. stephen walked in and raised an eyebrow.
“you crazy kids alright?” he asked. peter and shuri nodded at the same time. stephen stared at the two for a while, before walking away.

“i see shuri has found another person like herself.” t’challa commented to tony, as they both watched the two teens. shuri had a pillow in hand.
“kevin, kevin, kevin, don’t hit the light, man!” peter warned shuri. shuri smiled mischievously and swung the pillow near the light. unfortunately, she did actually hit the light, causing darkness to take over. the two teens yelped in surprise.
“SHURI!”
“PETER!”

the guardians had decided to come over to earth to celebrate the one year anniversary of the fall of thanos. groot was still a teen surprisingly and mostly hung out with peter. shuri, t’challa, okoye, m’baku and other wakandan residents had come over too. ned and mj were also invited as peter’s ‘plus twos’. what a terrible mistake that was.

“I AM GROOT!” groot yelled, pointing to peter’s empty bottle. the tree and the other guardians had only been there for half an hour and groot had already known most of the vines that had been created. he had also learned quickly and though the others weren’t able to understand him, he tried his best to gesture what he was talking about. peter looked at the bottle and smiled.
“YEET!” he yelled, throwing it across the room. it hit tony behind his head and all the teens quickly rushed out of the billionaire’s sight.

ned had brought his frisbee with him and was about to throw it when peter stopped him.
“shouldn’t we do this outside?” he asked, frowning when he imagined how much damage could be made. ned shrugged.
“ned’s like the worse at throwing frisbees. he’ll be fine.” mj said and ned nodded. peter thought for a bit. ned was crap at throwing a frisbee. it would always end on the floor in three seconds and never in the air.
“okay, but be careful.”
“don’t worry, spidey.” ned threw the frisbee. it actually made it in the air. but, it did hit one of the lights in the room. everyone turned to the now broken light.
“what the fuck, richard!?” mj muttered, but all the teens heard it. she didn’t just say it because of the vine reference, but also due to the fact that ned leeds had managed to break a light when he was never capable of making it go in the air. peter timidly looked at his dads, who were staring at him with anger. he sighed, looking at the ground. yep, they were screwed.

“can someone please explain why a frisbee broke the light?” tony asked.
“i am groot...” groot muttered.
“ned threw a frisbee.” mj said, causally. though even she was scared.
“and why was that?” stephen questioned.
“it was a pop culture reference.” peter responded and the others nodded. tony raised an eyebrow whilst stephen just pinched the bridge of his nose.

tony and stephen would never understand these pop culture references and why they were so funny. and frankly, they didn’t want to find out.