just a few pop culture references

“peter, what did you send me?” tony asked, walking into the living room.
“what do you mean?” peter sat up from the sofa.
“what the heck is ‘vines that really butter my croissants’?” peter chuckled.
“it’s a vine compilation, dad.” the teen said, as if it was the most normal thing to say to a 49 year old. except, it wasn’t.
“i don’t understand, what’s a vine?” tony massaged his temples, trying to understand.
“they’re just short, funny videos. you should watch that video i sent.” tony just shook his head.

it was 10:30pm. tony, peter and stephen were all in their bedrooms. tony was the only one awake, too busy on his phone.
“hun, what are you doing?” stephen muttered, turning over and looking at tony. he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “that better not be some blueprints for a new suit.” tony pecked stephen’s cheek reassuringly.
“nah, i’m just watching this stupid video the kid sent me.” stephen rolled his eyes and tony chuckled.
“do you really have to watch it now?”
“the title says ‘vines you should watch instead of sleeping’ so i kinda have to.” stephen groaned, snatching tony’s phone away. “hey, stephen, give it back!”
“go to sleep, tony.” stephen dozed back to sleep. tony held onto the sorcerer as he went to sleep.
“‘night wizard.”

-/-/-

peter was in for a suprise.

he had come back from his daily patrol.
“FRIDAY, who’s home?” he asked, as he took off his spiderman mask.
“both boss and master strange are in the house.”
“thanks, FRI.” peter took off the rest of his suit and wore a blue jumper and black jeans.

he walked into the kitchen and was greeted by tony.
“hey, iron dad.” the billionaire looked up from his tablet and smiled.
“peter! hey, kid.” peter sat next to tony by the table. tony was drinking a glass of water. “how was your day?”
“oh, it was fine. i got an A+ on my science test and got a C on my maths. i hate maths. our teacher isn’t the nicest person, but she isn’t too strict. anyway, ned had an allergy attack, which wasn’t cool. mj laughed at him. and-“
“sounds great!” peter smiled sheepishly. he noticed that tony’s glass was finished. he wasn’t going to make a vine reference, he couldn’t. he didn’t have to because...
“hey, peter, my glass is empty.” tony said, before standing up and throwing his glass at a wall. “YEET!”

peter sat there, staring at his dad, mouth agape.
“dad, what the he-“
“PETER!”

“it wasn’t me!” peter whined to stephen. the sorcerer had a bath robe on and his hair was dripping with water, he had just come out of the shower. “i promise, it was iron dad.” stephen raised an eyebrow to tony.
“really?” tony sighed.
“sorry.”
“why, though? why would you throw a glass at the wall?”
then, tony said the words.
“pop culture references.”
and stephen just left the room.
“is he okay?” peter asked.
“i’m not sure.” tony answered, honestly.

-/-/-

it was another battle and the family along with steve, bucky and natasha were fighting some villains. tony was struggling to fight and all of a sudden, he was stabbed. he groaned in pain, causing stephen and peter to look at him.
“tony! are you okay?” stephen asked. tony just stared at the villain that had just stabbed him, before saying:
“i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!” tony blasted the villain.
“language, tony! also, what was that all about?” steve asked, slamming his villain with his shield.
“the real question is, peter, what have you done?” bucky asked. he had hung out with shuri long enough to know what a vine was. and he knew for a fact that the arachnid hero was also a vine addict like the wakandan princess.
“i may have accidentally sent tony some vine compilations.” peter admitted, webbing his villain in the face. natasha shot that villain multiple times, causing peter to wince at the sight of it.
“sorry, pete.” the female assassin said, smiling softly.
“that’s okay, miss romanoff.” stephen floated towards tony. the cloak instantly wrapped itself around the engineer.
“are you okay? can you walk?” stephen muttered, using some magic to heal the wound.
“i-i...” tony started.
“it’s okay, don’t speak.”
“no...i... i love you, bitch.” stephen stopped, furrowing his eyebrows.
“what?”
“i ain’t never gonna stop loving you...” tony slowly sat up. “BITCH!” tony quickly went back down. “ow, ow, ow! that hurt!” stephen rolled his eyes. he stood up and opened a portal. the cloak still carried tony.
“let’s go.” stephen quickly went through the portal.
“kid, what have you done?” natasha asked, watching tony laughing weakly whilst letting out an “ow!” whilst being carried through the portal.
“i don’t even know...”

-/-/-

this day was going to be the death of stephen.

he was casually reading in the avengers tower. loki had decided to join him. as long as the god of mischief wasn’t going to ruin the silence, stephen was fine with him being here. it was calm and tranquil.

but then, they came.

“hey thor, spell kid, backwards!” stephen heard peter yell.
“um, d-i-k?”
“ha ha ha, that’s gay!” tony and peter both exclaimed, before running to where loki and stephen were.
“i don’t understand, how is backwards kid gay?” thor questioned, following the two. “ah, hello brother!” loki ignored him, turning to peter.
“you seriously showed stark the vines?” he asked, smirking slightly. he had grown close with peter and had watched some vines with him.
“sure did. and i don’t regret anything.” peter beamed.
“what are you talking about? what’s a vine?” thor asked. he was ignored. loki noticed that strange seemed to be annoyed by these vines. he had an idea.
“ooh, this will be fun.” the frost giant whispered, before leaving the room. “spider kid, stark, brother, follow me.” the three did as told. stephen sighed, before returning to his book.

“what are you planning, mr loki?” peter asked, smiling enthusiastically.
“first of all, we need to educate my brother with vines.” loki started.
“what’s a vine? i demand to know what these are.” thor whined.
“calm down, zeus. you’ll find out soon.” tony said. “FRIDAY, play a vine compilation.”
“which one would you like?”
“any one will do, FRI.”
“sure thing, boss.”

“thor, you’ve been in the bathroom for half an hour. what is taking so long?” stephen asked, knocking onto the bathroom door, impatiently. the door suddenly opened, revealing thor in his clothes.

but, why were they wet?

“what were you do-“
“i’m washing me and my clothes.” thor interrupted the wizard. stephen raised his eyebrows in suprise. loki appeared next to him.
“he’s drunk as fuck.” the frost giant stated.
“i-“
“bitch, i’m washing me in my clothes.” thor slammed the door. stephen stood there in shock and confusion. he heard giggles at the other end of the bathroom door, causing his to groan.

pop culture references...

they must’ve gotten thor involved.

-/-/-

stephen threw himself onto the sofa next to tony. he rested his head onto the engineer’s shoulder.
“you okay, hun?” stephen glared at him.
“don’t ‘you okay, hun’ me! i know what you’ve been planning.” tony looked at him innocently.
“i have no idea what you’re on about.” stephen scoffed. peter walked into the room. he was about to sit next to tony when the billionaire stopped him.
“uh, peter, you can’t sit with us.” peter gasped.
“actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere.” stephen sighed. “i have herioids.”

-/-/-

stephen was going to get them back.

he was going to suprise them.

he had to.

ever since they somehow got steve and natasha involved, but they only did it once as they wanted no part in this.

stephen was sitting in the kitchen, reading a book. he wasn’t actually reading, he was ready for anyone to come up to him and somehow mention a vine. he had watched a few compilations in secret and was prepared for anything. tony and peter walked in. peter had a phone and tony was making toast.
“SMACK CAM!” peter yelled. stephen smiled, he knew this one.
“bitch i hope the fuck you do-“ tony started but was interrupted.
“-you’ll be a dead son of a bitch, i tell you that.” stephen said, whilst pretending to read his book.
tony dropped his knife whilst peter just stood there, both staring at the sorcerer.
“doctor dad... how...” peter started.
“...how did i know that? i may have done some research on your silly vines.” stephen answered, looking at the two.
“wow, hun. i thought you wouldn’t have enough time to watch those.” tony raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly. “i’m impressed.”
“but now it’s not fun, anymore. it used to be so funny when you would have no idea what we’re talking about. now you do, and it’s not fun.” peter whined. stephen shrugged.
“guess i should’ve just ignored you guys and not watch those vines.” he said.
“but ya didn’t!” tony chuckled. stephen groaned.

god, did he still not understand pop culture references.