Untrue

Tony doesn’t know if he should be happy or resentful that Steve makes an effort to hold his hand- all in the name of public image he knows. He doesn’t bother when they’re alone, more than happy to leave Tony to suffer by himself. Tony never really has done well on his own and he supposes it shows now all things considered. Leave him alone too long and apparently he decides it’s a good idea to get with his husband’s best friend. Actually that’s pure selfishness on his part, but still.

The benefit to this stupid stunt is that Bucky looks pissed. Tony’s never really been one to care for the jealous types, they always reminded him a bit too much of Howard, but there’s something different about the way Bucky glares at Steve’s hand in his. It takes him almost the whole night to figure out that the difference is that Bucky is glaring at Steve, not him. Tony milks it for a few hours until he gets annoyed of being attached to Steve and then he lets go, prepared to go find Natasha and hide in the shadows with her. Steve gives him a lookwhen he drops his hand and Tony shakes his head almost imperceptibly. “We played our parts, we’re done here,” he murmurs. It’s too low for anyone else to hear it, but with Steve’s hearing he would.

He doesn’t miss the confused look on his face but he doesn’t bother to stick around to deal with it either because he’s got better things to do. Natasha isn’t hard to find either, hiding behind some plants to avoid dealing with the press with a glass of vodka in her hand. There was a time when looking at it would have been almost a little too tempting for him to be around but he’s mostly trained himself out of that. Now he only ever seems to want to drink if he’s forced to deal with Steve for too long. Or if he’s done something to try and get a little attention out of him only to fail miserably, depends on what kind of day he’s having.

She considers him for a moment, eyes narrowed. “What’s going on between you and Barnes?” she asks bluntly.

Tony’s impressed that he manages to hold reacting to that in a meaningful way. “Uh, what?” he asks, squinting a little.

Natasha examines his features, likely reading him for any detection of a lie but he hasn’t lied, he just asked a question. “Didn’t expect you to be the harder one to read,” she murmurs. Tony frowns a little and Natasha rolls her eyes. “I’m a damn good spy Tony, and I’ve known you for years. You think I don’t know what you look like when you’re trying to make someone jealous? God knows your efforts on Steve never work well so imagine my surprise when your target was Bucky. So I’ll ask again- what is going on between you two?”

“Nothing,” Tony says and it’s not exactly a lie. But it’s a good stretch of the truth all things considered.

“Fine, pretend I have no idea that you’re lying. Even if you don’t notice there’s absolutely something happening on Bucky’s end. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look that pissed off at anything that isn’t a reporter hounding him about HYDRA,” she says.

Yeah, he tends to look a whole lot more pissed off at reporters but alright. Unless he’s in one of those moods, then he mostly just avoids reporters and most everyone else too. “Yeah, you actually suck at reading me and you always have. And Bucky… he’s weird. You know this,” he says.

“Bucky’s only weird when he’s in a mood and he’s not in a mood he’s normal and he’s been trying to kill Steve with dirty looks all night. And you’re not so stupid that you haven’t noticed either, you always notice when people notice you,” she says. “Probably because you’re an attention whore,” she mumbles.

Yeah, guilty as charged. “I haven’t noticed anything odd,” he says, which is kind of true considering Bucky doesn’t seem to like Steve much on the best of days even before… whatever is happening started happening. Plausible deniability given that Bucky’s obvious interest in him has been evident for some time at least to him. Clearly it’s new to Natasha or maybe she held off on saying something until she thought he acted on Bucky’s interest. In which case props to her, she guessed the time frame right.

Natasha rolls her eyes, “half truths won’t save you forever,” she says and given the look of triumph on her face he must give something away. She considers him for a moment and sighs, “I don’t actually know anything so I’m going keep quiet for now. But don’t think I won’t tell Steve if I find out something more,” she tells him.

He doesn’t really expect anything less so he shrugs, “fair enough,” he murmurs.

“Just leaveTony, its not like you’re trapped here,” she points out. “Steve I get- without you he doesn’t have a whole lot left but you’re the one with the money, housing, resources- what the hell are you doing?”

She’s looks confused and maybe she has a right to be, though Steve isn’t near as helpless as she makes out. He’s Captain fucking America- literally everyone in the country would house him just to say they did. He sure shit doesn’t need Tony or his resources and he lived through the fucking Great Depression back when he was skinny. Tony has no doubt that he’s a survivor- he’d do fine without Tony not that he’d kick Steve out. They still have Avengers business to deal with; they need to be close minus Thor.

“Look, I’m not in the habit of disrupting my kid’s life- I’ve fucked up enough for him with my selfish bullshit. There’s no need to fuck this up too,” he says, shaking his head.

“You realize that you and Steve hate each other, right? I hate to be the one to break the news, but this isn’t better for Peter and you hid your alcoholism well. Toowell considering most people wrote it off as part of the obvious PTSD symptoms you were showing. I highly doubt Peter blames you for a mental illness you never asked for,” she says. “And even I’m tired of you two bickering.”

He sighs, “so we fight, its not that bad and he’s mostly not around for it, I make sure of it. He’s got a couple years of high school left and then he’s in college, I’ll ask for a divorce then.” Then Peter is out of the house making his own life and he doesn’t have to deal with the fact that Tony fucking impulse married Captain America that one time. Okay, it wasn’t so much an impulse as it was a flat out bad decision but still. A couple years for Peter’s sake, keep things steady and then he can lose Steve and they can move on with their lives while Peter builds his own away from home.

Natasha gives him a skeptical look. “Fine. You’ll have to consider Avengers business though,” she points out and he shakes his head.

“Not a problem, that’s totally different than our marriage. Even if I’d prefer you to be in charge on account of actually liking you,” he says.

She snorts, “if you think that’ll butter me up it won’t. I’d prefer to be in charge too though,” she says, grinning. “Keep your relationship with Barnes to yourself,” she adds, walking off before he can deny a relationship exists.

*

“‘We played our parts, we’re done here.’ What the hell does that even mean?” Steve asks, face all screwed up like he’s genuinely too stupid to know what that means. Sam knows he isn’t but lets him play dumb for the sake of being pissed off.

Honestly, this isn’t how he imagined he’d spend his time not in the army, gossiping with an American legend about how much his marriage sucks. There’s a whole lot of other things he hadn’t anticipated about this too, like the fact that he genuinely likes Steve. Probably a little too much if he’s deciding to be truthful and its not like the affection isn’t returned not that he’d ever act on it. Window shopping is hardly against the law though and Steve’s got plenty to look at not that it sounds like Tony takes him up on it. Which is weird, considering his reputation and Sam knows he’s missing something; probably a lot of somethings because he’s learned plenty of things about Steve and a big one of those things is that he’s damn dense. Doesn’t seem to notice stuff outside his immediate orbit, which is true of most people but for Steve it’s a little extreme.

“Sounds like he’s aware that your relationship in public is entirely performative. Which it is, by the way, so I don’t know why you’re mad about him pointing it out,” Sam says, raising an eyebrow.

Steve slumps a little, “just because its true doesn’t mean he should say it,” he mumbles.

“Meaning you don’t like hearing the truth even though you know its true,” Sam translates. “Look. I get that him pointing out that you two put on a show hurts your feelings, but what else would you have preferred?” he asks.

“It would be nice if he just shut up,” Steve says.

“Like you seem to think you need to? Tony’s not the type to keep quiet about anything Steve, you know that. Frankly it’s a trait of his you should learn because you clearly have a bad habit of just dealingwith things. Barring situations where you have no choice that’s not a way to live,” Sam tells him. “You don’t just dealwith things you hate if you can actively get rid of them.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “I can’t just get ridof Tony no matter how much I kind of want to launch him into space,” he says and Sam shouldn’t laugh, its not like Tony seems to have done much of anything wrong aside from irritate the shitout of Steve but the way he put that was kind of funny.

“Yeah, pretty sure he’d just launch himself back. Dude’s damn hard to get rid of, people keep trying and they fail pretty badly. Don’t think you’d be more successful. And I’m not asking you to launch Tony into space; I’m asking you to consider whether or not you actually want this relationship. Because you do seem to get pretty pissed off when Tony does something or another to indicate disinterest in you,” he points out. And, despite Steve’s half wandering eye because he’s not stupid, he damn well knows Steve has a thing for him, he wonders if Steve is so pissed off because he’s still invested on some level. People don’t tend to get pissed off about people they don’t really care about.

He sees Steve consider it before he lets out a sharp sigh. “I don’t know Sam, sometimes I want what we had back and most of the rest of the time I wonder if we even have anything left to salvage.”

“Okay. Well, why does Tony not participating in your relationship the way you’d like bother you? Figuring out why that bothers you so much is a good start,” he says, raising an eyebrow.

“This is supposed to be a marriage- it’d be nice if he participated in it,” Steve mumbles but that’s total bullshit and Sam knows it.

“Don’t hide behind traditionalism, it doesn’t suit you. From what I know of your past, and what I absolutelyknow of you right now, ‘that’s the way things are supposed to be’ hasn’t ever been a motto you’ve resonated with. Neither has Tony. In a perfect world you’re actually pretty suited to each other. Opposites, but on the same end of the spectrum. That’s ideal, really.” He hadn’t been as surprised as everyone else when they got together but maybe that’s because he knows things about psychology and has always had an affinity for people not that he’s always appreciated that gift. They’re a good fit, or at least they would be if it hadn’t gone horribly wrong somewhere along the way.

Steve laughs a little, shaking his head. “Yeah, Tony and I are about as suited to each other as oil and water. Never really understood the ‘opposites attract’ thing.”

Does so; it’s probably why he married Tony to begin with. “Steve. Tony might be impulsive but you aren’t, not in that way anyway. You married him for a reason, and whether you want to believe it or not you are genuinely well suited to each other. The fact that it seems to have gone to shit is more of an unfortunate coincidence,” Sam says.

Steve raises an eyebrow at him, “oh yeah? And what the hell drew you to that conclusion?” he asks, bumping his shoulder into Sam’s playfully.

Sam snorts, “basic observations skills, Rogers. You’re a living legend, someone who will never outlive his time in World War Two even if that’s not the man you’ve been for a long time. Tony’s a celebrity, and one that lives in the shadow of his father andhis actions that even he finds reprehensible now. He doesn’t get to escape those legacies either. Both of you have these… public personas, people you need to pretend to be when others are around, masks neither of you really get the opportunity to put down. In a lot of ways the way we treat Tony as a celebrity is the same as the way we treat you as a legend. Its dehumanizing and erases who you are in favor of who we need you to be.”

Something he says must resonate with Steve because he leans in a little, eyes dropping to Sam’s lips for a moment before he looks away, frowning a little. Temptation was almost a little too tempting, if Sam were to guess. And clearly it wasn’t comparing him to Tony that left him feeling that was so Sam figures he got general analysis of Steve right. Probably not something that happens often for him.

“Maybe. Except Tony has a mask he wears in private too, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him take that off,” Steve murmurs and there it is, the reason Sam is sureled to the breakdown of their marriage. So he feels like Tony hasn’t let him in, or that he’s actively working to keep him out, and it’s led to resentment. Probably something similar on Tony’s end too.

Sam shrugs, “if I were Tony I wouldn’t either, not with a history like that,” he says, shaking his head. Steve frowns at him and Sam sighs. “Steve, the man was so violently abused by his father he regularly made comments about it like it was normal and people laughed. They still do. And being a celebrity is basically being in an abusive relationship with the public. Plus his business partner and secondary father figure tried to kill him, and outside that he has onefriendship that isn’t also linked to him having someone on his payroll. The guy has lived a terribly isolated life in which almost every important person in it has either abused him or straight up tried to kill him. You think people can live through circumstances like that and come out trusting on the other side?”

He can see Steve think about it, consider the possibility that Tony’s abuse did a lot to shape who he is before she sighs, shaking his head. “He hasn’t had any of that happen for years, its not like we treat him badly,” he points out and Sam laughs.

“You damn well know that’s not how trust issues work. Besides that, Natasha came into his life as a spy from what I gather, you two didn’t start off in a good way, and you sure shit didn’t end up in a decent relationship. The other Avengers… doesn’t sound like he’s all that close to them outside of admiring Bruce’s scientific discoveries and that kind of admiration is nice, but not a trusting relationship. What’s that leave him with? His kid, who he probably thinks is too young or immature to do any kind of lasting damage? Come on Steve, after a lifetime of abuse you don’t decide suddenly everyone in your life, half of which didn’t start even remotely well, suddenly makes all that go away,” Sam points out.

Steve gives him a sour look. “Who’s side are you on?” he mumbles and Sam laughs.

“Yours- in case you haven’t noticed I’m tryingto help you see Tony in a different light than you do now, one that makes you remember why you were with him to begin with,” he says. Granted this would be a lot more helpful with Tony around to point out all the good things about Steve that had attracted him to begin with but he’ll make do with what he’s got.

He gets a small smile out of Steve even if he shakes his head a little, a subconscious reaction Sam is sure. “I appreciate the effort, but I’m pretty sure your efforts are for nothing.”

Sam bumps his shoulder against Steve’s, “rude!” he says, pretending to be offended. Steve laughs, face looking a lot brighter with the action.

*

Sam doesn’t come here often but he needs someoneto talk to and Riley used to be that person. As much as he likes to preach about healthy relationships and support systems at the VA he does a piss poor job of it himself. “I can’t believe you got your stupid ass killed. You should be here for this because my thing for idiot ass white guys continues. First there was you, and we all know how that ended, and now I’ve outdone myself by finding the dumbest white guy ever. Did not see Captain America being that guy coming but uh. How do you deal with a minor attraction to a married guy?” he asks, squinting at Riley’s gravestone like he’ll answer Sam’s question.

He’s like ninety percent sure Riley would tell him the common denominator here is Sam, Dumbass Extraordinaire and he’s not wrong. Sam isn’t the same brand of impulsive as Steve or Tony but he does have an impulsive streak. He’d also probably tell Sam to find a way to kill this stupid crush because he’s a grown ass man, not a grade schooler. But how does he do that? Steve’s sweet, if obviously misguided, and he’s funny too, and intelligent in ways Sam didn’t expect. And shockingly not racist for a dude who grew up in a time where segregation was a thing. That’s probably the most surprising thing about Steve but that’s more of a result of him hearing that people are a product of their time and Steve so clearly isn’t. He could be too, and people would forgive him for it more than likely, but by all means he does appear to have adjusted everything he knows to modern times.

Not that Steve’s clear level of intelligence and empathy is a good reason for lusting after the dude even if he ishot. He’s a little mad Stark is out here squandering that for the rest of them because shit, you don’t need to like a person to kiss them. “There’s an idea,” he says more to himself than Riley’s grave. “Ten bucks says a nice conversation with Tony will kill this dumb crush of mine. You know, remind myself he’s a real person and not the mythical figure I see on TV or the asshole Steve describes. Probably be good for me,” he says, nodding to himself. “Maybe I should visit your grave more often, forces me to problem solve because I hate the smell of lilies.”

And he misses Riley terribly but he doesn’t say that. He wouldn’t need to, if Riley were around. If there is such thing as an after life he wouldn’t need to say it if he’s dead either.