Goose The Hero (Avengers Endgame)
Tony watched in horror as Thanos grabbed the gauntlet and put it on his giant purple hand, searching out for Strange in panic and confusion. This couldn’t be the future he saw! There had to be something that they could do.
The doctor looked at him for a moment, an apology in his eyes as he held up his index finger.
There was one shot and it was one shot that Tony saw coming and refused to think about beyond making modifications in case it came down to it.
This wasn’t supposed to be the way he wanted it to go, but he would do it if he had to. Hell, he had a good life. Pepper and he married and had Morgan who was his precious princess. Harley had survived the snap, so he still had his smartass son in everything but blood. Happy would be back with the snap. Rhodey and Pepper were a few leagues away, fighting the army and winning. Peter was a few leagues past them swinging past aliens left and right, alive, and whole.
Everything and everyone he loved were alive and would be safe if he did this.
Taking a deep breath, Tony got up and launched himself at Thanos, grabbing the gauntlet and pulling the stones off so they could slide up to fit in the emergency holes in his suit’s arm. The Mad Titan yanked him off, throwing him away with a snarl.
“I am inevitable.” He growled, snapping the now empty glove. When nothing happened, the monster looked at the vacant holes in utter shock.
Tony held up his arm, almost doubling over in pain as the stones connected into his gauntlet, already preparing to restate the words that started this all. However, before he could, Thanos let out a gasp of shock as long pink tentacles wrapped around his arms and body, pulling him backwards into the jaws of what Tony expected to be a monster.
Instead, it was Fury holding an orange tabby cat that was licking its chops as the director smirked. “Surprise motherfucker.”
Carol stalked up to the man, a maniacal grin on her face. “That’s my cat!”
Fury glared. “’Your cat’! You fucked off into space for over twenty years. This is my cat!”
“Is that a flerken?” Quill asked, stepping cautiously up next to the beast.
Fury nodded. “Fuck yes.” He turned to alien army who were staring in shocked horror. “Surrender now or my flerken will devour all of you! You have two seconds before she goes killer!”
Every single ugly-ass alien dropped their weapons in terror, screaming like little girls as the cat, or ‘flerken’ as they called it, licked its lips. With their surrender, the avengers and their allies were easily able to kill them all.
Tony removed his gauntlet and handed it to Carol before turning to Strange who was staring in utter confusion. “You saw that as the only option?”
The doctor shook his head. “I don’t think even the time stone could have predicted that.”
So, Tony lived and retired from the superhero lifestyle, passing the suit over to Harley. When Peter started having problems with Quintin Beck, Tony was able to tell him the truth of the man’s character. With Talos and Soren, who revealed themselves after Goose creeped up on them, they were able to defeat the man.
And yes, Goose remained on Earth. Morgan pulled a puppy dog face on Fury and Carol who allowed her to keep the flerken that eventually pooped out giant purple turds that made everyone relax in the joys of the safety of the universe.
Steve was planning to return to the past and Peggy, but Bucky talked him out of it. Instead, he bargained with Red Skull and got Natasha and Gamora returned to life in exchange for the soul stone. Bucky then took the shield and became the new Captain America, after Sam stated that he already had a superhero identity and it was time for Bucky to prove himself. Steve stayed on the team as a consultant, eventually marrying a girl who he met after the snap. Natasha and Bruce finally got their shit together and married, settling down not ten miles away from Clint and his family.
Thor was going to leave with the guardians only for Strange to open up a portal and pull out Noobmaster69, revealing him to actually be Loki who used his magic to survive Thanos. After a long screaming match, he and Valkyrie got Thor to stop drinking and got him back in shape to be the king he was supposed to be.
Shuri used her genius to bring back Vision allowing him to reunite with Wanda. They moved to Wakanda to live happily, something that allowed them to help T’Challa0 whenever Wakanda was in trouble.
With Gamora back, the guardians went to hunt down past Gamora who was helping the Sovereign in their quest. With the help of the Ravagers, they defeated them. Gamora also got to kick the shit out of Quill when she found out about his breakdown being partly responsible for the snap.
Carol and Fury left with Agent Hill to help the Skrulls and defeat the Kree.
So, everyone lived happily ever after, except Thanos and his army, thanks to Goose who lived happily being spoiled by Morgan.