Where It All Started
Bucky sighed as he sat on the deck of the boat with Sam. He had to admit, he loved it here. The community didn't care about his past, didn't care about his metal arm or the fact that he was a gay 107 year old super soldier. They welcomed him with open arms, the kids were ecstatic to play with him, and he couldn't tell if it was just because he was Captain America's friend, or if they really just saw him as a good person. He sipped at his beer as he looked over the sunset, glancing over to Sam. "I should probably get back to Brooklyn soon... Get outta your guy's hair, you know? Ive probably over stayed my welcome..." He spoke, his voice quiet and soft. It was a large difference from his usual defensive aggressive tones, but he felt his walls coming down as he felt safe with Sam.
Part of Sam's heart clenched at the idea of his friend leaving.
"You sure, man? I mean I got more people you can meet," Sam knew it was a half assed excuse, he'd already introduced Bucky to practically everybody from the docks all the way up to the neighborhoods for blocks and blocks. He glanced from the golden glow of the horizon toward Buck, taking in the other man's gorgeousness. He didn't want this to be the last time he'd see the other, but just in case it was he wanted it to last.
"I...." He started, sucking in a breath. "I'd love to stay... It's great here and all.. But- I don't want you guys to have to deal with me... I'm... A lot.." He sighed. It was true, he did want to stay. He'd stay forever if they let him. But he'd wake the whole house up with his nightmares, and he was terrified of possibly putting them in danger. He'd woken up to the smallest sounds, ready to fight and kill whatever was putting him in danger.
He had only just gotten used to his cat, Alpine, who took it upon himself to make Bucky's apartment his home. And often times Bucky's chest his bed. Alpine was a stray, and Bucky refused to admit most of the time that he really did love the cat. And that the cat really did help him.
"Trust me I know you can be a lot," Sam responded, knowing to keep his voice positive and joke to make sure Bucky wouldn't spiral. He knew the older was a lot, he was a handful even on a good day, but that didn't stop Sam from wanting to help him.
"I won't force you, but you're always welcome here. You're family now." Bucky's breath hitched at his last words. Just earlier he had said how Steve's shield was the closest thing he had left to a family.
"Family?" He whispered.
"Family." Sam responded, his voice firm yet soft. Casual yet heartfelt. He reached back and patted Bucky's upper back gently, it was the friendliest gesture he could offer besides side hugs which he hated. He wished to God he could do more.
Bucky was tense before he sighed with a small smile. "I.. Haven't had a family in decades.." He mumbled. "Thank you, Sam." He whispered, looking up to meet the Falcons eyes. "Can i go back to Brooklyn for one thing though-? Uh- my cat-" He asked, blushing at the mention of that fact that he, a grumpy old ex-assassin, has a cat.
Sam gave a toothy grin, gripping Bucky's shoulder and shaking him with a friendly pat. "No problem, man." He responded coolly. "You don't gotta ask me for permission, you're a free man." Sam wasn't phased by the fact the man had a cat, if anything he was proud of Bucky for being able to support another life and the responsibility that brought on.
Bucky nodded and smiled wider. He was free. He wasn't under the hands of HYDRA anymore, he finished his pardons, he was free. Bucky took a deep breath and let it out, standing up and offering a hand to his best friend, hell, his only friend. "Bet AJ and Cass are looking for 'Uncle Bucky' now." He chuckled. "I don't know what Sarah told them but they've been calling me that all day."
A small smile spread Sam's lips, he could tell what he said meant a lot to Bucky and he was glad it did. He honestly felt so honored for being let into the man's life as much as he has. No matter how much Bucky succeeded in pushing his buttons and making him go insane. Sam took the hand when offered and hauled himself up before brushing himself off. Hearing what Buck said Sam inwardly cringed. That damned snitch, He thought to himself in reference to his sister. He'd definitely go to somebody else next time he wanted to talk about the metal armed man. "Heh yeah, yeah- everybody here is uncle or 'cuz," He joked lightly.
Bucky smirked and shook his head. He forced himself to let go of the other man's hand, walking back to the house where Sarah and the kids resided.
Sam kept himself from brushing his hand against Bucky's as they walked side by side and distanced himself slightly, his fear of being too obvious prevalent. Approaching the porch he decided to joke to get a smile on Buck's face. "M'lady," He bowed.
Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I can not believe you Wilson." He mumbled, regardless he opened the door and walked in. Every time he walked in the house he was met with an overwhelming feeling of home, something he didn't think he'd ever felt before, but also a sense of awkwardness, fear. He, the most dangerous assassin in the world, plagued by ptsd and nightmares, in a home with a mother and two kids, his only lifeline being his "co-worker" and at this point friend to keep him sane. He took off his jacket and set it on the coat rack, slowly getting used to not needing his gloves and jacket all the time. Clad in a rather tight light blue shirt and a grey undershirt he sat down at the kitchen island with a small sigh.
Sam smirked and giggled snarkily to himself seeing Bucky's reaction. He walked in on the man's tail; not so close that he'd clip Bucky's heels if he didn't watch where he was stepping, but close enough. Small footsteps could be heard thundering down as the kids ran toward Bucky. They both wanted to hug the man but faltered and jumped in place a couple times, whether it be out of natural fear or not was up for debate. They loved the man, but sometimes his demeanor could speak for him unwantedly. "Hey uncle Bucky!"
Bucky tensed as if on high alert, ready to be tackled by the two kids. He relaxed when they stopped in front of them, shoving his hands in his pocket. "Hey guys." He said simply, offering a small but genuine smile. It was obvious hugs weren't exactly his thing, hell he still flinched when Sam touched him sometimes, but it was only a matter of time before he was comfortable enough for full on hugs all the time. He had hugged the kids before of course, play fought with them and let them use his arm as a jungle gym, but it took time to warm up completely. "You guys gonna show me those... Uh- what were they called? TV games? Tech games or something?" He asked, his clueless old age showing, never having seen or played video games. Despite his awkwardness he always tried to interact with the kids and Sarah. He wanted to have that simple life and those small things to appreciate about a family. He got that here in Delacroix, and he tried his damn hardest to be the best "uncle" he could be for not exactly having experience.
Sam hid his concern behind a small glance his "partner's" way, but he trusted Bucky around his family. Cass and AJ beamed up at the man but hearing his clueless inquiry they both laughed, Cass doubling over to catch his breath. "They're called video games!" One of them responded through giggles while the other recovered from laughing. Sam couldn't help but to gently nudge Buck's side. "Old man." He muttered jokingly.
Bucky's eyes widened and his mouth hung open for a second as he took a deep breath before he sighed and let out a chuckle. "Okay, yeah yeah i get it. Im old." He laughed, shaking his head. "I'm 106, gimme a break" He smiled. He was fairly reserved in body language, always wary of the fact that he pretty much knew everyone was untrusting of him. I mean he couldn't be upset, everyone seemed to think he would snap into the Winter Woldier randomly and murder everyone. It simply isn't true, and he wished people knew that. The words HYDRA trained in him, the commands and orders, were all wiped from his mind. Though they didnt work anymore, he still had the memories from the Winter Soldier. The memories became nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks. His nightmares haunted him and scared him more than it could anybody else, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt someone that didn't deserve it. He pushed his over thinking aside and followed the boys to the family room, sitting himself down on the couch that would soon be covered in a sheet and blankets for him to sleep on.
"With kids around you'll never get a break." Sam responded with a chuckle as AJ and Cass ran off into the living room to set up a video game they'd definitely beat Bucky's ass at. Sam could tell that even after all the help Bucky's given to the family and hell, even the whole neighborhood, he was still rigid in a way. He watched the man warily as he followed after the kids. Sam wished others could trust Bucky the way he did, but he understood why people didn't. They didn't see the heart the soldier had. Sam kicked his shoes off before following after the group, standing behind the couch and leaning over it to watch the bright colors emanating from the screen.
"How the- What the- What the fuck?" Bucky muttered as he scowled at the game. Call of Duty. "This is so much easy in person. Bullshit." He muttered under his breath, but smiled with a chuckle regardless. "I'm impressed, you both are really good at this. Or I'm just really bad. Or both." He laughed, sitting back in the chair with a shake if his head, jumping a bit when he sat back and was met with Sam's arms. "Oh- hey Sam-" He muttered, looking up to Sam behind him.
"Hey," Sam responded, lifting his hand at the wrist in a half wave before returning his focus to the TV. The kids were laughing victoriously whenever they got Bucky beat. "Well first off you gotta not hold the control upside down," Cass corrected with a laugh. The kid put his own controller down in his lap before grabbing Bucky's, turning it, and giving it back. Sam laughed slightly from behind. "Have you ever played video games Uncle Bucky?" AJ asked, totally expecting a 'No'.
Bucky blushed at the realization that the control was, in fact, backwards. "Oops.." He smiled sheepishly. "Uh-" He paused, thinking back to his recent past. "Yeah! With Shuri in Wakanda. It was more of uh... What'd she call it- Virtual Reality? Yeah. I did pretty good. It was a driving game though, not.. what is this? Call Of Duty?" He rambled. "I'm pretty sure I actually beat her when we raced." He chuckled.
"She probably had it on a beginner level then." Sam teased under his breath and AJ giggled, having heard it. "I think it was prolly Grand Theft Auto, but everybody's good at Grand Theft Auto." Cass said jokingly, eyes still glued to the TV screen. "Damn that's cold," Sam played along.
"Hey!" He grumbled, jokingly glaring at him. He rolled his eyes and his slight frown turned into a dopey smile and leaned back into the couch, suppressing a blush as Sam towered behind him, arms on either side of him. "I'm making you guys play Gin Rummy with me some time." He pouted, setting the remote down. "Hey Sam? Could you book a flight to Brooklyn? I gotta get Alpine and his stuff. I don't really have much else in that apartment besides him." He shrugged. He wouldn't admit it (yet) but he loved that cat a lot, the little white ball of fluff acting as almost a therapy animal for him. Holding him in his arms with a bright smile on his face, laughing and dancing around with Alpine on his shoulders, he became a completely different Bucky. Alpine broke his 'angry old man' persona and yet it stayed in his apartment to himself and the cat. Not for long.
Both the boys rolled their eyes, one of them responding with a snide "Sure, old man." before the both of them returned to the game to leave the adults to do the talking. They both actually respected Bucky a lot just as their mother had taught them to, but seeing as the man was practically family they didn't see a use in formality. Besides, they copied their uncle's jests. If Sam could joke, then so would they. The Falcon hummed at Bucky's request and nodded, pulling his phone from his pocket. "Hm? Oh yeah sure," He stepped away from the couch, but stayed near "just because". Sarah gave him a knowing smug look which he decided to ignore.
Bucky slumped in the chair with a small sigh, letting hid head fall back. (think about the Titi scene jdjfjrjf) He cracked his eyes open and they drifted to Sam, his chiseled face and jawline to his muscly chest and upper body to his thick thighs and what laid in between... He caught himself and a pit of guilt grew in his stomach. Being from the 40's had its downsides, the internalized homophobia was something he struggled with a lot. And it was worse that he was thinking about Sam. His co-worker? Best friend. He tore his gaze away and noticed Sarah get up and walk to the kitchen hesitating to say something or follow. "Sarah? Do you want some help with dinner?" He asked. His voice was soft and sweet while having his raspy grumble mixed in, his good manners showing through for the simple fact he wasn't talking to Sam.
Sam ignored the deep blue eyes boring into him and obviously checking him out if their downward tilt had anything to say about it. He tried to focus on actually booking a flight for Bucky and not the warmth he felt in his cheeks. He was once again finding himself grateful for his complexion, it made whenever he blushed less apparent. Sam's gaze trailed away from his phone and to Bucky as the man walked into the kitchen after Sarah. Sam swallowed his slight jealousy down guiltily and finished booking Bucky's flight. Sarah meanwhile shrugged. "Com'ere,' She whispered.
Bucky followed her, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, flesh arm over cold metal as he masked the self-consciousness he always had. "Whatdya need me to do?" He questioned, waiting for his orders on how to help cook. He wasn't that great, but he could peel veggies and chop things up, or sit at the stove and stir something continuously.
"Nah don't worry, we're having leftovers tonight. Just wanted to discuss something with you," She gave Bucky a matter of fact look before glancing back at her brother. She was heavily considering playing the matchmaker, since it was obvious Sam was too much of a chicken shit to make the first move.
Bucky raised a confused eyebrow and followed her gaze. Sam, sitting on the couch laughing with AJ and Cass. He looked back down to hide the light blush on his face, his heart pounding and his stomach bubbling with anxiety. He couldn't like him. It wasn't allowed in his mind or by society. At least the society he knew decades ago. Of course he didn't care if other people were lgbt, he even knew Sam was bisexual, but that made it so much more agonizing for him. He spent the 30 years of his conscious, un-abused life in the closet. Every one thought he was a straight guy except for the men he would hook up with in secret before and during the war. Cuz who would want to date a 100 year old super soldier with severe PTSD in the 21st century? His heart hoped it'd be Sam, but his head told him that could never happen no matter how much he wanted it.