The Assistant Saga

“Why Alex what?”

A low voice asked behind the group. Camila’s fork clattered on the table while the fry fell off Lilith’s as they startled.

“What?”

Alex asked perplexed as she looked at the group with one eyebrow raised.

“That ladies is why people fear Alex.”

Piper said with pizzazz.

“She has the uncanny ability to be at the right place at the right time. Not to mention with the right contacts. Almost everyone that pissed her off ends up in some really awkward situation that either results in their reputations in pieces or their belongings in pieces or both. Usually both.”

Camila’s eyes widened at that. Her need for the entire story kicking in.

Taking in the look on Camila’s face, Alex sighed.

“Scoot over babe.”

She gestured to Piper, knowing that there is no way she is going to let Piper of all people tell the story. Her wife has the tendency to add an extra dramatic flair to her storytelling.

“Al? What brings you here? Don’t you have to tend to the bar?”

Ava looked up from the conversation she was having with Beatrice.

“I hired bartenders for a reason kid, besides, Taystee can handle herself. Her and Fat Amy are getting along like a house on fire. They are both working tonight, God help the people coming to the bar.”

“Nice!! It has been too long since I last saw Amy. Taystee the bartender you have been hoping to poach forever from Tippling?”

“Yup, Al has mad convincing skills. I have been there 5 times over the last half a year and no matter what I said, Taystee won’t budge. Of course, the minute Al appears, things just settle by themselves. How do you do that babe? Teach me!”

“You really want to learn? You know that means I’m just gonna take a step back and send you on these stuff right?”

“Yeah...good point. We all have our own parts to play. Nope, not interested anymore. Why learn when I can just send you?”

Piper leaned in to kiss Alex.

“Wow, you two are almost as bad as those two.”

Lilith gestured to Ava and Beatrice who have once again disappeared into their own world.

“Where do you think Ava gets it from?”

Alex asked, all smug.

“Behave.”

Piper smacked her arm.

“Alright, let’s get on with the story and stop dawdling.”

Camila clapped her hands in front of both couples to get their attention.

“Oh yes, right. I was telling them how I met you guys and got Piper to take over.”

Ava smiled sheepishly.

“Good job kid, putting it into practice I see.”

Alex high-five Ava.

“What?”

Piper looked between the two of them, puzzled.

“Nothing babe, let’s get one with it. Camila looks like she is one distraction away from killing all of us.”

“Camila? She is so - “

Alex manhandled Piper and turned her to face Camila who was stabbing the slice of steak on her plate with a vengence.

“You were saying babe?”

“Yeah… so! As I was saying, everyone is afraid of Alex. Bad things seem to happen to those who cross her. Whether the effects were instantaneous or not, no one could attribute it to her. Everyone knew it was Alex, but no one knows for sure it was her. The best part was, no one had the guts to confront her about it either.”

“Stop making it sound like I’m a mob boss.”

Piper laughed.

“Mob bosses have nothing on you Al. Have you seen the way the entire student population quaked in fear each time I mention your name?”

“Nope, since when? Come to think of it, apart from you and the kid there, no one else actually approached me. I mean, there are the usual suspects of idiots, bullies, pricks, dicks…”

Piper looked at Alex expectantly.

“I see, I just described the entire population then.”

“Yup. So what my clueless wife didn’t realize was that rumors tend to take a life of their own and the fact that she might have been responsible for at best three quarters of what people said she did, was more than enough to scare the entire population for our entire high school life.”

“Yeah! When I just transferred into the school, I heard the rumor that some senior in high school wanted to get back at Alex on behalf of their brother while Al was in middle school. What was his name again… Trevor? Trevor Ross I think. Said Al messed with his kid brother Mike Ross but ended up with an irrational fear of enclosed spaces. What exactly did you do to the both of them Al?”

“Oh. Him. That.”

“Yes, that! What!”

Camila has given up on the food in front of her in favor of listening to their high school tales.

“I saw Mike negging this girl in class and decided to step in to stop him. That’s it.”

“That’s it?!”

Piper repeated, incredulous.

“You did wayyy more than that.”

Piper spluttered.

“See guys, this right here is Alex’s knight in shinning armor moment that made Piper fell irrevocably in love with this vampire.”

“Can it squirt. Fine fine fine. There might have been a couple of threats involved.”

Piper glared at Alex.

“Okay… maybe I did smack him around a little bit. I mean, gotten people to smack him around a bit.”

Piper continued glaring.

“Fine! I made a couple of threats, saw them thru and got people to smack him around. Did I cover everything I did to poor Mikey?”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“What threats?”

“The usual? Do that again and I’ll take everything you own that sort. It was definitely nothing creative. And I think I did mention to him that if he tried to go near Piper again to torment her, I would make him pay in more ways than one.”

“The usual? What is the usual?”

Lilith’s need for specific language was killing her at Alex’s vague description.

What kinda story is this? This is like pulling teeth.

“What Alex failed to mention was that after making her threats, Mike decided go ahead and torment me anyway since what could a girl do to him. His dad was some hotshot corporate shit or something. I forgot. It wasn’t important but the gist is if you look up entitled brat in the dictionary, you would see his photo alongside his brother’s. So Alex decided to get back at him by emptying his bank account and donating the money to a Women’s rights charity which pissed him off to no end. The choice of charity was just the icing on the cake. Each time he failed to get back at Alex, Alex would entertain the entire middle school with public humiliation stunts featuring Mike. She would have his car towed immediately after school for everyone to watch, set him up with the head cheerleader and have her lead him on only to have said cheerleader confessing her undying love for Alex in the hallways during lunch. So in essence, Alex stuff. It also helps that she has that glare that will make even grown men shake in their boots. Add that to her weird sense of honor, you have yourself a legion of Alex die-hards who would do almost anything she asks of them.”

“A legion of die-hards that would do almost anything for Alex? How do you deal with it?”

Beatrice looked at Piper, wondering if she would ever get to the stage of being consistently secure in her relationship with Ava. Piper met Beatrice’s gaze and nodded to Alex.

“You should be asking her that and not me. I think between me and Al, she would be able to better explain the whole thing. You and her, you both are pretty alike. I can see why Ava is drawn to you.”

This was the best friend validation that Beatrice never knew she needed.

Does this mean that they have been assessing me since the moment we stepped in? The entire “sorry the place is full” was only for show to watch how I would react in that situation? At least I passed the test. I think I did. Did I?

Before she could spiral further, Ava reached over and squeeze her hand, centering her.

“Come back another day, preferably in the middle of the day and when we are both not “technically” at work and we could carry on this conversation? For now, I think Pipes here have a story to finish telling.”

Alex looked at their joined hands and extended an olive branch to Beatrice.

Guess getting Piper’s stamp of approval doesn’t automatically include Alex’s stamp of approval.

Beatrice nodded.

The next conversation is going to be a long one.

Camila and Lilith looked on as the tension on the table seems to build.

“OKAY! Legion of die-hards, will do almost anything. Then what? Did you do the same to his brother? Trevor was it? How old were you then Alex? Middle school?”

Camila broke in suddenly, jolting everyone out of their weird little sizing each other up moment.

Why am I even surprised. Piper and Alex are obviously either related to Ava or they have spend too much time with her. Who tell stories in SUCH a convoluted manner?! Forgetting this, forgetting that. Glossing over this, glossing over that. If it was up to Alex, she would probably just said oh we met in high school. The end.

“Wait, is that?”

Lilith gripped Camila forearm in excitement.

“Who is who??”

Camila sighed. At this rate, she will never be able to get to the end of this story.

But Lilith is being all cute this excited that she actually forgot herself for a moment. So I guess I can let this slide. Who is it that she is so -

Camila turned and looked at the woman walking towards their table.

OH. No wonder Lilith is all excited.

Beca Mitchell. Singer. Songwriter. Music producer. DJ extraordinaire. Basically an all rounded music prodigy has just walked up to Alex.

“Alex!”

She leaned in for a hug which Alex returned before moving on to Piper.

“Is that – AVA SILVA YOU HAVE BEEN DODGING MY CALLS!”

Lilith’s mouth hung open.

When did Ava…

“Beca!”

Ava leaned in for a hug.

“Chloe wanted me to say that. So will you tell her that I have executed her instructions down to a T and not pulled the whole let’s not do it and pretend that we did thing?”

“Sure sure. Beca, meet Beatrice! Also I promise I’ll call Chloe back.”

Ava laughed and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

“Is this THE Beatrice? Chloe is going to be so jealous I got to meet her before she did. Can’t wait to rub it in her face tonight for being too lazy to leave the house.”

“The Beatrice?”

Beatrice looked at Ava all confused. It was as though Ava had a whole other life separate from her that she never knew.

But then again, Ava has always been popular and people can’t help but get drawn to her. What is there not to like?

“Ookay, so I might be guilty of bragging about you to almost everyone I know?”

“Bragging? Are you sure you want to call it that?”

“Yeahh Ava, you sure you want to go there? Maybe I should get Chole on the line so that she can correct you on it.”

“Al, do you know that Beatrice looks so cute with her freckles? Al, when the sun hits her just right, which by the way is all the time, her eyes are just mesmerizing? Al, do you know that when Beatrice is concentrating she does this scrunch in her eyebrows and sometimes when it is really puzzling she would bite on her lower lip? Oh Al, what I would give to be that lower lip.”

Piper, Beca and Alex took turns teasing Ava with the latter reenacting exactly how badly Ava was crushing on Beatrice before.

“Oh oh oh, and don’t forget the flood of texts that is basically repeating how gorgeous Beatrice is and how capable she is. And all those times she could have met up with us on the rare occasion we are all finally in the same city but she chose not to in favor of “working” overtime with Beatrice.”

Beca laughed at Piper’s mini complaint of Ava’s previous infatuation with Beatrice.

“How about when she gets drunk and the group chat is just tsunami after tsunami of texts, random facts and gibberish relating to Beatrice?”

“Okokok, must you all call me out like that? This is making me regret bringing Bea here tonight. Any more Beca and I’ll be sure to let Chloe know that the reason she doesn’t get to meet Bea is because of you. Redheads be crazy y’know.”

Beca paled at the thought of her own girlfriend’s fury. Chloe has a temper and she is trying to avoid being the cause of that trigger. It would be worse if she decided to go the tragic kicked puppy route instead of the righteous fury. At least when Chloe is on her righteous fury train, Beca has a way to try and fix it. The kicked puppy just leaves her helplessly flailing around for a solution.

“Fine fine. Dinner soon okay? Bring Beatrice along and we can catch up properly. I should be in town for a couple of months this time so we can set something up.”

With that, Beca left the group to their own devices and made her way to the private booth a couple of tables away.

“So… that was Beca?”

Ava knew she was in trouble the minute Beca left as she watched Lilith return to herself.

“Ava Silva, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Lil, I believe that is my line.”

“No. That is MY line. Babe, do you want to maybe explain everything?”

Ava looked at Alex and Piper for help.

“You’re on your own kid, we can only help you finish telling the high school part of the story. How you and Beca and the rest met, that is… for you to tell.”

“I should have known Beca would he here tonight. Amy is working and she almost always shows up to support if she is in town.”

Ava sighed. Camila looked between the three of them, trying to decide how to bring the topic back to middle school Alex terrorizing people and her legion of die-hards without looking like a dog with a bone.

Very useful trait professionally but it is so awkward to execute socially. I really need to know what happens next.

It was almost as though Alex could read Camila’s mind.

“Yes, I was in middle school and Trevor was somewhere in high school. The long and short of this is that I did the same thing to Trevor as I did to Mike. However, instead of emptying just his bank account, I emptied his trust fund and made it look like a transaction for escort services that specializes in kinks. Then I topped up the trust fund from his father’s corporate account which, if I recall correctly, was quite the scandal when the board found out. Oh and I also transferred his car to me and drove it to school the next day.”

Camila’s jaw dropped while Alex smirked.

“WHY HAVE YOU NOT INTRODUCED US SOONER!!”

Camila yelled, shaking Ava.

“Wha -”

Ava barely had time to react when Camila turned back to Alex.

“We are going to be best of friends. Now tell me, spare no details, how did you achieve that?”

With that, Camila and Alex disappeared down the rabbit hole of hacking and money moving. Meanwhile, Piper was wrapping up the story of her first encounter with Ava.

“And the rest, as they say, is history. Ava is like the sister I never had.”

Ava laughed and nudged Piper.

“That is because you are too WASP-y for anyone else to approach you. Well, that and the fact that Al over there would rain hell on anyone who dare to look at you funny.”

“Waspy?”

Beatrice asked all confused. She looked so cute with her brows furrowed and scrunched that Ava could not help herself but to lean in and kiss her.

“White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.”

Piper supplied before Ava could take the kiss any further.

“How is that a classification?”

“Oh babe, it was just short for saying that Piper is a white blonde elitist who thinks she is better than everyone else.”

Ava joked.

“No I do not. Stop giving your girlfriend a terrible impression of me.”

Piper laughed and reached over to smack Ava in the shoulder.

-- end of flashback --

Lilith was jolted out of her memories when Camila slide into the seat next to her.

Has it been 30minutes already?

“Hey babe. You okay? You seem to be thinking pretty hard.”

Camila leaned over and kissed Lilith in greeting.

“All’s good, just thinking about the very first time we came here and how we got to know Piper and Alex. I still cannot believe that Ava was classmates with Beca Mitchell. It has been what, five years? Each time I think back about it, it never cease to amaze me. I’m surprised but not shocked. This is Ava we are talking about. Personification of sunshine. Also still cannot wrap my head around the fact that I know Beca Mitchell personally. The last five years were crazy.”

“I know right. Sometimes I’m still mad that Ava hid Alex away. We could have been best friends earlier! But like you said, Ava is literally the recipe for the Powerpuff Girls.”

Lilith looked at Camila like she has grown two heads, the comparison flying way over her head.

“Sometimes I forget how you and Bea grew up. You both seem so… normal.”

“Hey!!”

“The Powerpuff Girls, sugar, spice and everything nice. Well, minus the spice part. Ava is like an excitable puppy half the time. Which reminds me. You!”

Camila prodded Lilith.

“Stop antagonizing Beatrice. It wasn't her fault that Ava walked in on us.”