Care and careers
Ultimate gingers:
The ultimate ginger: hey fox
The ultimate ginger: Kate is asking after you. I just wanted to check with you before telling her anything
Foxy boy: yeah she texted me
Foxy boy: i’ll just tell her i was busy because of my job or something
The ultimate ginger: alright
The ultimate ginger: but you can tell her the truth. Kate won’t be weird about it. None of them would.
Foxy boy: can we not have that conversation right now?
The ultimate ginger: alright
The ultimate ginger: but we will have it at some point
The ultimate ginger: take care, fox
Best of both worlds:
Cool child: random question but I was wondering
Cool child: do any of you have an actual job?
Nerdy child: first of all, good morning
Disaster uncle: no
Disaster uncle: well, i don’t
Nerdy child: yeah actually what do you do, Clint?
Disaster uncle: nothing
Depressed uncle: he lives of the labor of poor people
Disaster uncle: hey! I’m a great landlord
Depressed uncle: sounds like an oxymoron to me
Disaster uncle: i’m an antimoron, thank you very much
Angry child: more like an ultramoron
Smart child: wait, aren’t you an avenger?
Disaster uncle: i am but that doesn’t pay the bills
Cool child: so you save the world but don’t get paid for it?
Depressed uncle: you guys need to unionise
Disaster uncle: i used to get paid by the shield but i don’t work for them anymore so
Nerdy child: weren’t you on a job like 3 days ago?
Disaster uncle: i’m a freelancer
Disaster uncle: i miss having an health insurance
Nerdy child: i was about to say mood but i remembered i had a healing factor
Disaster uncle: i wish i had one
Depressed uncle: so do i
Disaster uncle: at least you can meditate the pain away
Depressed uncle: no, i catholic guilt it away
Dad: how are the two of you still alive???
Depressed uncle: spite
Disaster uncle: pure dumb luck. I kinda am like that patethic wizard from diskworld
Angry child: nerd
Disaster uncle: the books were on Bucky’s list of stuff to catch up on
Disaster uncle: whenever that guy almost died he showed me the page and was like: hey look it’s you
Nerdy child: i mean
Dad: he was right
Disaster uncle: sadly true
Dad: i am a freelancer as well by the way
Depressed uncle: a mercenary, you are a mercenary, Wade
Dad: c’mon i haven’t killed anyone in ages
Dad: not since the last time the shield secretly hired me to do their dirty job
Depressed uncle: pretty sure you just broke your contract
Dad: and what are they gonna do? Fire me?
Depressed uncle: very good point have a nice day
Wade&Harry :
Wade: you ok kiddo?
Best of both worlds :
Nerdy child: well, my boss turned evil after my bf’s father cut our subventions so i don’t have a job at this point
Cool child: your life is such a mess, Parker
Nerdy child: i know, right?
Nerdy child: but jjj still pays me for spider-man pictures so it’s fine
Cool child: Peter? That’s so smart?
Nerdy child: why are you so surprised?
Maya&Harry :
Maya: hey Harry you good?
Pinky&the brain:
Pinky: hey
The brain: hey
Pinky: i’m on my way
Pinky: you need me to pick up anything?
The brain: no i’m fine
Pinky: you took your meds?
The brain: no, i actually enjoy feeling like shit
The brain: sorry, that was uncalled for
Pinky: it’s ok
Pinky: be there in 5
The brain: thank you
Pinky: love you
Best of both worlds :
Angry child: still not over the fact Peter sells pics of himself to jjj like
Angry child: that guy hates vigilantes?
Nerdy child: no, he hates spider-man specifically
Nerdy child: never heard him complain about mr broke batman over there
Depressed uncle: it’s because i’m sexier than you are
Smart child: maybe he’s just scared of spiders
Nerdy child: he’s just so mean
Nerdy child: and i am so friendly
Nerdy child: but he also pays my bills so I’m good with it
Smart child: the weirdest part is that he seems to kinda like Peter Parker now
Smart child: someday he will discover the truth and it will break him
Nerdy child: and i’ll be back on Harry’s couch
Nerdy child: wait no we’re dating now
Nerdy child: i don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore
Smart child: Peter, you are so smart and yet so dumb
Disaster uncle: the Bucky energy is strong
Disaster uncle: Natasha, my best friend: literally breaks into my house and sleeps in my bed and forces me to go on the couch by being a blanket stealer
Disaster uncle: Bucky, my partner: I’ll sleep on the floor good night
Smart child: kdllkfkdkd
Dad: i’m a sucker for the winterhawkwidow dynamic
Disaster uncle: Nat doesn’t approve of that name
Dad: it’s a work in progress
The maths of love triangles:
Better half: hey guys i forgot the key. Peter come open.
Bother half: coming
Bitter half: MJ? Thought you couldn’t come tonight?
Better half: i finished earlier
Better half: Peter move your ass
Better half: it’s freezing and i want cuddle