In which people are professionals
Best of both worlds:
Brat: good morning to everyone except Peter
Nerdy child: what did i do ???
Brat: forced me to go to the office
Nerdy child: you? Asked me to bully you into getting up if necessary? Because it’s an important meeting something something the investors something something rich people stuff i don’t get
Brat: being right won’t protect you from my wrath
Nerdy child:@smart child help Harry’s being mean
Angry child: christ, can’t you go and have your dumb fight elsewhere?
Disaster uncle: Shush Kate, this is entertaining
Angry child: you need a hobby man
Smart child: Harry stop being a baby and drink your coffee
Smart child: you’ll feel better
Nerdy child: thank you mj i love you
Brat: wow
Brat: can’t believe I’m single now
Nerdy child: you’re so annoying drink your stupid coffee
Depressed uncle: wow, Karen tells me the same thing like, 5 times a week
Nerdy child: as she should
Dad: it’s too early to be angy you fuckers
Smart child: thank you, wade
Smart child: finally someone who gets me
Nerdy child: good morning, wade
Dad: hello kiddo
Dad: everyone says good morning where are your damn manners?
Depressed uncle: fuck off
Angry child: good morning, wade
Disaster uncle: good morning even if it’s not morning over here
Smart child: good morning Wade
Smart child: harry, say good morning to your dad
Brat: give me like, 10 minutes
Angry child: why 10 minutes?
Disaster uncle: the caffeine
Brat: i’ll be civilised again
Depressed uncle: time for the caffeine to kick in
Angry child: oh no there are 3 of them
Believe it or not, but this is a serious chat:
Son of Coul: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but since the director refuses to directly talk to you unless it is absolutely necessary, I have to.
Bad Janet: I love when a conversation starts like that. Great icebreaker
Son of Coul: We have a situation.
Best Bird: great
Aang but lame: when don’t we?
Not that Romanov: Do we, now?
Son of Coul: Natasha? What does that pseudo mean?
Not that Romanov: It’s a reminder for Scott that I’m not the princess Anastasia
Shortstake: look, I’m just saying that it’s a possibility
Not that Romanov: See? He needs a reminder
Son of Coul: I see.
Iron maiden: oh great à situation
Iron maiden: it has been what? 6 weeks since the last situation occurred?
Blint Carton: what happened 6 weeks ago?
Iron maiden: my bad that wasn’t an avengers situation, just a me situation
Aang but lame: either way we have to update the doc
Shortstake: yeah my last me only situation was last week
Bad Janet: just updated the doc and @not that Romanov@Blint Carton what’s that supposed to mean?
Bad Janet sent a screenshot
Image description: A google doc with all the different avengers’s names accompanied by dates and short mission descriptions. One of them says: Black Widow and Hawkeye shopping operations
Blint Carton: we are avengers and we were on a mission
Bad Janet: i already told you to stop messing with the data
Not that Romanov: we were looking for very specific ammo
Blint Carton: yeah that was a legit operation
Blint Carton: we interrogated folks
Not that Romanov: we dressed up
Blint Carton: we bought milk on our way back
Not that Bruce: So, about the current situation?
Son of Coul: Thank you, Dr Banner.
Son of Coul: At least one of you is focusing.
Shortstake: wait first of all
Shortstake: what kind of situation are we talking about here?
Shortstake: Like is it a “There are giant spiders in the sewers of nyc” type of situation or a “we’re sending you in space” type of situation?
Shortstake: because i don’t have time to go to space it’s Cassie’s birthday this weekend
Son of Coul: Don’t worry, you won’t have to go to space.
Shortstake: great, giant spiders it is
Not that Romanov: what do you have against spiders?
Son of coul: It’s a missing person kind of situation.
Iron maiden: another one for the doc yay
Aang but lame: to be fair we didn’t get one of those in a while
Best Bird: ok
Best Bird: Who escaped from the raft this time?
Clint and Harry:
Clint: kid?
Harry: ok I’m suspicious now
Clint: fair enough
Clint: are you in a position to receive news that definitely is going to upset you ?
Harry: sure why not
Clint: ok you didn’t hear it from me
Clint sent a screenshot
Clint: Harry?
Clint: you good?
Harry: fucking hell
Clint: just thought you needed to know and there was no nice way to say it
Harry: yeah
Harry: thanks for sharing top secret info with me
Harry: now I’m going to yell into the void or something
Clint: you should tell Peter and MJ
Harry: right
Harry: shit