The coolest Canadian
Best of both worlds :
Bartonder: fuck stakeout is so boring
Cross roads demon: ikr? You just stay there waiting for something to happen and nothing fucking happens for hours
Country legend: stakeout is the worst
Country legend: like, give me anything but stakeout
Bartonder: at least, someone gets me
(Bi)shop : excuse you?
Bartonder: you abandoned me to go out with your gf and now I’m stuck alone bored out of my mind
Bartonder: i’m not talking to you
(Bi)shop : oh come on
Spear me : not to be that person but shouldn’t you focus on your stakeout?
Bartonder: well
Bartonder: i surely should
Bartonder: but it’s booooriiiiiiing
Cross roads demon: put that phone down clint
Cross roads demon: if you miss something because you were texting us or playing a game Natasha will have your head
Bartonder: …
Bartonder: fuck you’re right
Country legend: good luck
Bucky and Steve
Steve: bucky
Steve: bucky i know you’re reading this stop ignoring me
Bucky: i would never do such a thing to my bestest friend in the whole world
Steve: imagine dating not one but two spies and still be that bad at lying
Bucky: first of all that’s rude, Steven
Bucky: second: bold of you to assume barton can lie
Steve: good point
Bucky: what do you want? I’m supposed to be communying with mother nature or something
Steve: i’ve heard you got a pet
Bucky: oh yeah bertie is my new best friend sorry steve
Steve: buck, you can’t steal some farmer’s goat
Bucky: I didn’t
Bucky: and anyway what can a farmer give him that i can’t?
Steve: a lot of things actually
Steve: do you even know how to feed it?
Bucky: he doesn’t need me for that he literally eat the floors
Bucky: bye buddy
Steve: buck
Steve: come back here, dumbass
Best of both worlds :
Bartonder: update: nothing happened
Spearme: rip
Bartonder: someone distract me please
Country legend: no
Bartonder: whyyyy?
Country legend: Natasha is scary
Bartonder: coward
Clash&Tash
Clash: our guy has arrived
Tash: ok keep me updated
Clash: roger that
Best of both worlds :
Oz: kate abandoned clint wow
Dette-poule: coup dur
Country legend: wade stop talking french you’ll scare harry
Oz: fuck french all my homies hate french
Dette-poule: you americans are just a bunch of uncultured swines
Spear me: aren’t you american?
Dette-poule: thanks god no
Cross roads demon: is being canadian better anyway?
Spear me: dd does have a point
Spear me: same shitty colonizers
Dette-poule: fair
Clash&Tash :
Clash: update: the target is eating a burger
Tash : and this is relevant how?
Clash: I’m hungry, nat
Tash : i’m on my way stop being a baby
Best of both worlds:
Watsupdog: and then everyone started crying
Watsupdog: which was super awkward because i had written that poem while high
(Bi)shop: what an icon
Country legend : it got published in a specialized magazine and everything
(Bi)shop: lmao
Watsupdog: yeah and they even interviewed me
Watsupdog: so, miss watson, would you say that your poem reflects a shared feeling of distress experienced by American teenagers ?
Watsupdog: me : i mean, we listen to paramore for a reason
Oz: iconic tbh
Oz: i have that interview on my wall
(Bi)shop: hey Peter do your fans know Spider-Man smokes weed? That’s not very family friendly
Country legend: actually most alcohol and drugs don’t work on me
Country legend: except dr banner’s super strong stuff
Dette-poule: oooooh can you get me some ?
Country legend: i can try
Dette-poule: thx ily
Clash&Tash :
Clash: where tf are you?
Tash: the traffic is super slow
Clash: run or something
Clash: the guy is sleeping btw
Clash: I’m going to shoot him
Tash: no, you won’t
Clash: no i won’t
Clash: i could go in though
Clash: nat ?
Clash: should i go in?
Clash: nat?
Best of both worlds:
Cross roads demon: cops are such stupid bitches
Cross roads demon: like you already are corrupted tools of the superior class and useless to the people you’re supposedly protecting
Cross roads demon: pick a struggle
Country legend: ikr?
Spear me : amen
Clash&Tash :
Tash: got pulled over for texting while driving
Tash: just got in i guess
Clash: at fucking least !
Best of both worlds:
Country legend: and that’s how i met wolverine
Dette-poule : top 10 lamest canadians
Watsupdog: who’s the coolest canadian, wade ?
Dette-poule: carly rae jepsen, duh
Watsupdog: true
Bartonder: i’m baaaaaaack
Bartonder: wtf are all these messages?
Oz : we were bonding
The terrible tree:
Lucky’s dad: @anastasha you owe me
Anastasha: I don’t
Lucky’s dad : i spent so much time watching that guy because of you
Anastasha: that’s your job, Clinton
Bucks Bucky : clinton is such a lame name
Lucky’s dad: how does he always show up at the right moment to bully me ?
Anastasha: that’s his super power