The daddy issues club
Team red :
DP : guess who’s back, back again ?
Redthew : ah shit, here we go again
DP : you missed meeee red
Redthew : did not
Websy : wade you back!
DP : yessssss!
DP : see red, that’s the kind of welcome i expect
Redthew : i live to disappoint
Websy : soooo team red movie night when ???
DP : not this weekend I’m keeping Ellie
Redthew : tell her i say hi
Websy : me too
DP : sure <3333
DP : i missed my munchkin
The maths of love triangle :
Bother half : them : Deadpool is an evil and dangerous individual
Bother half sent a screenshot with the caption : the evil individual in question
Better half : aw he calls his kid munchkin this is adorable
Bitter half : i want Deadpool to be my dad
Best of both worlds :
Oz : hey wade would you like to adopt me ?
Dette-poule : sure
Oz : thank you i’m on my way with the adoption papers
Oz : also, could i hypothetically hire you to kill someone ?
Dette-poule : depends who we’re talking about
Oz : my father
Dette-poule : sorry kiddo but i can’t die
Oz : no i mean
Oz : my father (derogatory)
Dette-poule : oh then yeah sure no problem
Dette-poule : actually i can do it for free
Oz : thanks wade you’re a gift
Dette-poule : <3
Oz : <3
Bartonder: hey wade could you kill my father too ?
Dette-poule : sure
Bartonder : thanks i love you
Country legend : Clint isn’t your father already dead ?
Bartonder : yes
Country legend : so?
Dette-poule : one can die multiple times
(Bi)shop : like wolverine
Cross roads demon : like a friend of mine
(Bi)shop : jesus?
Cross roads demon : no
Dette-poule : friend lol
Bartonder : like loki
Bartonder : fucking loki
Bartonder : can’t this bitch stay alive for more of 3 months at a time ?
Watsupdog : i? am confused?
Oz : wouldn’t loki dying be a good thing ?
(Bi)shop : oh boy
Bartonder : no
Bartonder : cause they don’t stay fucking dead !
Bartonder : and still thor mourns his nuisance of a sibling every, single, time
Country legend : thought their deaths were fake ?
Bartonder : it happens
Bartonder : actually
Bartonder sent a screenshot
Bartonder sent a screenshot
No hear, no see :
I can’t hear you : hey Matt since mj and harry don’t know you’re blind I’m sending the description here
Didn’t see that coming : perf
I can’t hear you : pic 1: a screenshot of a gc called “thor’s emotional support midgardians” and Janet is asking “Who’s turn is it to comfort Thor this time?”
I can’t hear you : steve answers “i think it’s Natasha’s?”
I can’t hear you : Natasha: nope I did it last time
I can’t hear you : second screenshot: a google doc titled the loki death betting pool with two categories : fake or real
Didn’t see that coming : sounds fun
I can’t hear you : you only say that cause you don’t have to deal with it
Didn’t see that coming : you brought it on yourself by working with the government
I can’t hear you : we all have regrets
Best of both worlds :
Oz : sjdkdjdj
Bartonder : it isn’t funny Harold it’s heartbreaking
Dette-poule : maybe we should invite loki to the daddy issues club
(Bi)shop : no
Cross roads demon : no
Spear me : no
Country legend : no
Bartonder : we already have a horny demon
Watsupdog : what does these club meetings entail?
Oz : sitting in a circle and sharing our fathers related traumas
Country legend : Alexa play the campfire song from the lightning thief, the musical
(Bi)shop : oh no the theater kids found us
Bartonder : everyone hates their parents~
Country legend : that’s what god said to Moses
(Bi)shop : jesus
Dette-poule : bye kids I have actual dad things to do
Spear me : sometimes I forget Wade actually is a dad
Dette-poule : which is disappointing
Spear me : oh no I’ve disappointed wade
Bartonder : shame
Spear me : deserved
Country legend : @dette-poule what did you plan ?
Dette-poule : pizza and she-ra
Watsupdog : niiice
The terrible tree :
Bugs Bucky : hey folks I’m going to leave for a while
Lucky’s dad : you have somewhere specific in mind ?
Bugs Bucky : ma not really
Bugs Bucky : just; need to move to clear my head
Lucky’s dad : k
Lucky’s dad : just text once in a while so we won’t think you’re dead in some field in new jersey or something
Bugs Bucky : I refuse to die in fuckin’ new jersey
Bugs Bucky : will keep you guys updated dw
Anastasha : alright James, just don’t do anything Clint would do
Lucky’s dad : rude
Bugs Bucky : take care you two
Anastasha : goodbye, James
Lucky’s dad : bye <3