The rumors are true, I’m a moronsexual
Best avocados at law :
Foggy : hey matt
Foggy : you better be awake
Foggy : Mattew Michael murdock if you’re late to court i swear to show the picture to everyone
Foggy : you know the O N E
The babysitters of hell’s kitchen :
Foggy : hey Claire ?
Claire : yes?
Foggy : matt isn’t bleeding out on your couch is he?
Claire : not today
Claire : well, not yet
Claire : did something happen?
Foggy : oh no don’t worry i just wanted to be sure that i wasn’t blackmailing a dying man
Claire : why not?
Claire : i do it all the time
Foggy : Claire ?!
Claire : what ?
Claire : have you met a vigilante ?
Claire : a girl gotta do what she gotta do for her dumbass patients to stay more or less alive
Foggy : you are absolutely right have a wonderful day
Best avocados at law :
Foggy : think I’ll show it to jessica first
Foggy : she’d like it
Foggy : don’t you think?
Matt : omw
Matt : delete that picture
Foggy : no way
Matt : it’s too early to be blackmailed you monster
Foggy : stop complaining i’m waiting for you
Matt : you are cruel and i despise you
Foggy : i have coffee
Matt : you are forgiven
The maths of love triangles :
Bother half : goooood morning !
Bitter half : is it really ?
Bitter half : is it really a good morning ?
Better half : can even a morning be good ?
Bother half : is Christmas a joke to you ?
Bitter half : yes
Better half : Peter you are jewish
Bitter half : they have a point
Bother half : go drink your coffee Harold
Bitter half : coffeeeeee!
Better half : coffeeeeee!
Bother half : can’t believe it actually worked
Better half : you underestimated our love for coffee
Bitter half : on my part it’s more of an addiction tbh
Bother half : I’m slightly worried now
Best of both world :
Bartonder : hey guys quick question
Watsupdog : yes ?
(Bi)shop : clint no
Bartonder : clint yes
Dette-poule : clint yes
Country legend : what’s up?
Cross roads demon : not the sun
Bartonder : oh shit i forgot the time zone thing
Dette-poule : time isn’t real anyway
Cross roads demon : you only say that cause you can’t die wade
Dette-poule : red you don’t know how right you are that shit is so weird
Dette-poule : like 5 mins ago everyone had mulets and now people are nostalgic of that aesthetic
Dette-poule : it gives me whiplash
Oz : how old are you ?
Dette-poule : we’ve just established that time wasn’t a thing
Oz : true true
Bartonder : anyway my question
Bartonder : is coffee in cereals ok?
Watsupdog : ?
Dette-poule : yes
(Bi)shop : no but ut it’s far from being the worst shit i’ve seen you do with coffee
Spear me : no
Cross roads demon : yes the bitterness of the coffee balances the ridiculous amount of sugar contained in the cereals
Dette-poule : red you’re so smart
The terrible three :
Lucky’s dad sent a screenshot
Lucky’s dad : @ anastasha see some people do agree with me
Anastasha : they’re wrong
Bugs Bucky : that demon person does have a point though
Anastasha : James
Bugs Bucky : i grew up during the great depression leave me be
Lucky’s dad : yeah nah let him be you judgmental bully
Anastasha : Kate is my new favourite archer
Lucky’s dad : wait no i love you !
Best of both worlds :
Country legend : i am a man of science so i will only make a decision when I’ll have collected all the data
Oz : you’re absolutely right
Country legend : are you thinking about what i’m thinking about?
Oz : I’m making more coffee
Country legend : On my way with the cereals
Spear me : now i understand why the both of you are dating
Spear me : the real question is why is @Watsupdog dating you guys ?
Watsupdog : well
Watsupdog : i’m a moronsexual
Cross roads demon : hey @bartonder what would you do if you had to choose between your dog and coffee ?
Bartonder : you think you did something there uh
Bartonder : but it’s an easy choice
Bartonder : i’d kill myself
Team red :
Websy : hey matt you free tonight ?
Redthew : yeah
Redthew : what for ?
Websy : not feeling like punching bad guys on my own today
Websy : they don’t even laugh at my jokes /
Redthew : criminals are so rude
Redthew : usual place at 10 pm?
Websy : yeah
DP : i miss you guys 😾
Websy : we miss you too wade
Redthew : when will you be back ?
DP : idk catching this guy is taking a ridiculously long time
DP : soon i hope
DP : i haven’t seen Ellie in forever
Redthew : i’m sure she can’t wait for you to come back
Websy : and when you’ll be there we’ll hang out together
Websy : we haven’t had a team red movie night in a while
DP : !
DP : can i chose the movie ?
Redthew : sure
DP : love you guys <333333
The terrible three :
Lucky’s dad : holy shit i just realised JB was older than Deadpool wtf
Bugs Bucky : i
Bugs Bucky : why would you say such a thing
Bugs Bucky : it’s too early to have an existential crisis
Lucky’s dad : sorry ?
Lucky’s dad : wait so’s nat isn’t she?
Anastasha : clint you’re a child
Lucky’s dad : i? am in my thirties ?
Bugs Bucky : an infant