The maths of love triangles
The math of love triangles:
Bitter half : did i just see Peter falling of a building ???
Better half : oh god
Bitter half : wtf Parker ?!
Better half : welcome to my world
Bitter half : he? got hit by some weird robot thing and fucking fell ???
Better half : is it a new super villain ?
Bitter half : Mary Jane
Better half : it’s my job to ask questions don’t judge me
Better half : what’s going on ?
Bitter half : not much
Bitter half : the cameraman is mostly filming the damage now
Bitter half : bitch we want the fight
Better half : i’m on my way for the fight
Bitter half : what about not?
Better half : it is literally my job, Harold
Bitter half : gotta like when both of my partners put themselves in danger on a daily basis
Better half : we talked about this Harry
Better half : remember ?
Bitter half : wait Peter’s back
Better half : that fucker
Bitter half : that fucker
Bitter half : ok that was actually a pretty cool move
Better half : can’t believe i'm missing all the action
Better half : hot to have a television that works
Bitter half : knew you liked me for my money
Better half : oh absolutely
Better half : i actually plan to kill you to have it for myself
Bitter half : bold of you to assume i don’t want you to kill me
Better half : thought peter was the one with a death wish in this relationship ?
Bitter half : atm peter is the one with broken bones in this relationship
Better half : did i tell you about that time he had 14 broken bones
Better half : and when i told him that he couldn’t fight because of said broken bones
Better half : he answered "which means that i have 192 perfectly healthy bones"
Bitter half : jfc
Bitter half : can’t believe you didn’t kill him yourself at some point
Better half : tbh i can’t believe it either
Bitter half : update the weird robots are exploding now
Bitter half : if you’re fast you could catch some action
Better half : how’s peter doing ?
Bitter half : pretty good given the fall actually
Bitter half : this is confusing
Bitter half : like, I’m worried
Bitter half : but i also want some popcorn
Better half : omg finally someone who understands me
Better half : i’m there
Better half : will talk to you later
Bitter half : please be careful MJ
Better half : i always am
The math of love triangles :
Bother half : feel good to be loved
Bitter half : oh look he’s alive
Better half : guess I’ll have to share your money with him//
Bitter half : what’s stopping you from killing him too?
Bitter half : that’s so unfair ?
Bitter half : i can understand murder but i draw the line at playing favourites
Better half : well
Better half : falling from a building didn’t kill him
Better half : so I’m still working on that
Bother half : actually i fell on a balcony so it wasn’t that big of a fall
Bitter half : maybe we should push him from a cliff ?
Better half : worth trying
Bother half : oh wow
Bother half : here i am
Bother half : saving nyc once again
Bother half : expecting some comfort from my partners
Bother half : only to watch them planning my murder
Better half : it’d be like that sometimes
Bother half : i am hurt, Mary Jane
Better half : that’s because you fell from a rooftop
Bother half : an ordinary Thursday
Bitter half : low-key worried about how comfortable the both of you are with this
Better half : oh honey
Bother half : I’m alright Harry
Bother half : well everything hurt but it’ll heal quickly
Bother half : don’t worry
Better half : where are you tiger ?
Bother half : near my apartment
Bother half : you’re welcome to come and tenderly bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot
Bitter half: you are an idiot
Bother half : MJ Harry is being mean to me
Better half : sounds like a you problem, tiger
Ginger supremacy :
Ultimate ginger : Harry you alright ?
Foxy boy : i’m not the one who should answer this question
Foxy boy : how do you deal with it?
Foxy boy : and you have been doing it for years ???
Ultimate ginger : Peter will be fine he knows his limits
Ultimate ginger : and i got used to it i guess ?
Ultimate ginger : actually the hardest is trusting each other to take care of themselves
Ultimate ginger : we have to trust him for not being too much of an idiot and he has to understand that we don’t need savings 24/7
Foxy boy : oh
Foxy boy : ok
Foxy boy : I’ll just need time to get used to it i guess
Ultimate ginger : it’s going to be alright don’t worry fox 🧡
Pinky and the brain
Pinky : hey man
Pinky : you ok?
The brain : why does everyone asking if i am ok?
The brain : i’m not the one who fought exploding robots and fell from a building
Pinky : it wasn’t that high tbh
Pinky : and i’m ok
Pinky : like seriously i know it looks bad but it’s nothing i can’t handle
Pinky : but i understand it can be hard for you guys
The brain : of course you are checking on us when you’re the injured one
Pinky : well due
Pinky : did you think i wouldn’t check on MJ too?
Pinky : you aren’t special, Harold
The brain : wow
The brain : and here i thought you loved me
Pinky : yeah that’s embarrassing
Pinky : for you obviously
The brain : time to dye my hair and change identity
Pinky : no don’t ily 🥺
The math of love triangles :
Bother half : I’m bored
Bitter half : I’m working
Better half : so am i
Bother half : guyyyyys i need a distraction
Better half : take a nap
Bother half : the only naps allowed in this house are depression naps
Better half : jfc peter
Bitter half : just watch a movie or something
Bother half : ok
Bother half : gonna watch the btr movie without you
Bitter half : traitor
Better half : betrayed in my own house
The maths of love triangles :
Better half : who’s down for a movie tonight ?
Bitter half : i wish i could but we kinda have an emergency over here
Better half : that experience isn’t going well i presume
Bitter half : you can’t even imagine
Bitter half : i wanna die
Bother half : and i am the dramatic one?
Better half : yes
Bitter half : yes
Better half : what happened ?
Bitter half : it exploded
Bitter half : the lab is a mess
Bother half : send pictures
Bitter half sent a file with 4 pictures in it
Bother half : holy shit
Better half : wtf Osborn
Bitter half : i don’t even know
Bother half : rip
Bother half : sorry MJ but i’m not free either
Better half : patrolling ?
Bother half : yeap
Bother half : well it’s more of a recon mission ?
Bother half : even if double D won’t call it a mission because he’s boring
Better half : be careful, tiger
Bother half : will do
Bother half : it’s only recon anyway
Bitter half : wait a sec
Bitter half : double d?
Bother half : daredevil
Bitter half : ???
Bitter half : i always forget you actually know other vigilantes lmao
Bother half : ?
Bother half : why so surprised ?
Bitter half : i just always thought you’d randomly team up you know?
Bitter half : not that you are on like, nicknames basis
Bother half : we are on first name basis
Better half : does daredevil knows your identity ?
Bother half : yes?
Bitter half : what the fuck, Parker
Bother half : i know his a well
Bitter half : why ?
Bother half : because ? We are ? Friends? And we trust each other
Bother half : and a bunch of other vigilantes if we’re being completely honest
Better half : alright then
Better half : btw how’s hawkeye doing ?
Bother half : which one?
Better half : the one we should be concerned about
Bother half : brb
Spider-kid and hawkguy
Spider-kid : hey Clint
Spider-kid : just making sure you aren’t dead in a dumpster somewhere
Hawkguy : heeeey pete
Hawkguy : I’m alive
Hawkguy : kinda
Spider-kid : kinda ?
Hawkguy: kinda
Spider-kid : either you tell me what happened or i’ll just wait and ask Kate
Hawkguy : letting the both of you meet was a mistake
Spider-kid : yes and you can only blame yourself
Hawkguy : you aren’t being very friendly
Hawkguy : long story short
Hawkguy : i spared with nat
Hawkguy : everything hurts
Hawkguy : I’m dying
Hawkguy : tell lucky i love him
Spider-kid : rip/
The maths of love triangles :
Bother half : he just had his ass kicked by the black widow
Bother half : so nothing to worry about
Better half : good
Bitter half : MJ did you meet hawkeye ?
Better half : no but peter does talk a lot and i learn many random things about vigilantes and super heros
Bitter half : i want the gossips!
Bother half : hum ok let me think
Bother half : so there’s that one time i accidentally stumbled on hawkeye the elder and the winter soldier bickering on a rooftop meanwhile their targets were running away
Bother half : so i nicely interrupted them to tell them
Bother half : they just stared at me for a second then Barnes said : catch them won’t ya
Bother half : and they went right back to their bickering
Bitter half : somehow it makes sense
Better half : ok but the real question is : what were they bickering about ?
Bother half : what to get the black widow for her birthday
Bitter half : and suddenly it became wholesome
Better half : this is adorable
Bother half : you know what’s even more adorable and wholesome ?
Better half : no ?
Bother half : so they aren’t sure of her birthday since she was raised by creepy spies and all
Bitter half : makes sense
Bother half : so they celebrate it on the anniversary of the day she left the red room/almost killed clint
Bitter half : wtf i wanted embarrassing stories
Bitter half : not to get emotional
Bother half : I’m not crying you are
The math of love triangles :
Bother half : i’m home
Better half : good
Better half : go to bed
Bother half : why are you still awake ?
Better half : insomnia baby
Bother half : want me to call and tell you about dd bullying me until you fall asleep ?
Better half : thank you but you really should get some rest
Better half : i’ll be fine
Bother half : you sure ?
Better half : yeah yeah
Better half : go to bed, tiger
Bother half : alright, good night ❤️
Better half : good night ❤️
The maths of love triangles :
Bitter half : not you two being cute at 3 AM
Bother half : don’t be jealous
Better half : yeah we love you fox
Bitter half : well i don’t
Bitter half : i never loved anyone ever
Bother half : i remember you crying when the old lady brought back Rox to the forest
Bitter half : that scene is the reason why I have trust issues
Bother half : understandable tbh
The maths of love triangles :
Bitter half : Peter
Bitter half : Peter
Bitter half : Peter
Bitter half : Peter
Bitter half : Peter
Better half : Harry if you don’t shut up i swear to god
Bother half : wtf Osborn
Bitter half : Peter
Bitter half : introduce us to some of your vigilante friends
Better half : yes!
Bother half : ?
Better half : let me talk to Kate Bishop
Bitter half : yeah peter let our gf talk to Kate Bishop
Bother half : she isn’t even in nyc atm
Better half : put us in a gc or something
Bother half : idk
Bother half : vigilantes can be intense
Bitter half : have you met us ?
Better half : seriously i’d find it reassuring if we could contact someone if something happened to you
Bother half : idk if they’d be ok but i will ask
Better half : yayyy
Spidey and Echo
Spidey : heeeeey Mayaaa
Echo : what do you want ?
Spidey : rude/
Echo : you only talk like that when you want something
Spidey : fair
Spidey : rude but fair
Spidey : i need help
Echo : i’m not in town atm
Echo : what’s going on?
Spidey : it’s not that bad nvm
Echo : spidey?
Spidey : i promise
Spidey : just
Spidey : my partners want to be introduced to my vigilante friends and i thought we could organise something since MJ already knows our backstories and you are relatively civilised
Echo : are you calling me your less embarrassing friend?
Spidey : …
Spidey : this wasn’t a challenge
Echo : first of all
Echo : i could embarrass the shit out of you
Echo : actually i already did
Echo : that time i kicked your ass
Spidey : i hate you
Echo : second
Echo : stop being dramatic and introduce them to some people
Echo : they’re dating you they clearly don’t mind depressed guys in ridiculous outfits
Spidey : you are so mean
Spidey : they’d like you