Waiting
Steve felt a twinge in his heart as the door slammed shut. But it was nothing compared to the man who stood a few feet away from him, who was now shaken by sobs and didn’t seem to care whether someone noticed them. His eyes still lay on the spot where Bucky just had disappeared and Steve had to admit – he looked like the loneliest man in the world.
With two big steps he approached Clint and wrapped his arms around the archer’s shaking shoulders.
“Shh… it’s okay, Clint. It’s okay. He’s gonna be fine, you’ll see! He has the best team one could wish for. He’s gonna be fine!”
***One hour in surgery***
Clint sat in front of the door to the operating room, his view occasionally blurred by new tears. He had promised Bucky he would be there when he would wake up. He had to stay awake, no matter how long the surgery would take. Bucky was strong, he surely wouldn’t fall into coma afterwards. He just wouldn’t. He couldn’t. And he. would. Not. Die. That’s what Clint kept telling himself like a mantra. Bucky would make it. He would survive the surgery, he would not need to be put into a coma, he would wake up and finally be free from this horror. This was the only way possible.
He took a sip of the glass of water someone had handed him a while ago as he had refused to go to the kitchen on his own but had stayed where he was to be at Bucky’s side as soon as the surgery was over. But if he wanted to stay awake he needed something stronger the just damn sparkling water.
With a sigh he got up, left his purple zipper hoodie on his chair to signal that he would be back in no time and went into the kitchen. Luckily just a few Wakandian people where there he barely knew and who wouldn’t bother if he stole a whole thermos bottle full of hot coffee.
While the coffee was running through, his fingers tapped non-stop onto the kitchen counter but that drinking coffee to this amount when he was in this state was probably a bad idea didn’t cross his mind.
***Three hours in surgery***
Steve had joined Clint’s silent vigil and his knee bobbed up and down while Clint was swirling an arrow through his fingers. No one said a word. Clint didn’t know what he would’ve done if the door to the surgery room had had windows. On the one hand he would’ve wanted to know what was being done with Bucky right now but another part of him was too afraid to know.
The only thing they could do was to wait and worry and the time just didn’t want to elapse.
The arrow was swirling faster now just along with the speed of Clint’s thoughts. And all these what if’s… What if he didn’t wake up? What if he fell into coma? How long would he be in that state? Would he be able to recognise him? Would Clint be able to communicate with him? There was so much he didn’t know despite the detailed preanesthetic evaluation.
The arrow swirled so fast now that it’s shape became blurry and turned into a whirling surface.
What if he lost more memories than he actually wanted? What if Loki messed something up? What if he had flashbacks during surgery? What if he well into a vigil coma? What if… what if he died?
Clint missed a finger and the arrowhead stabbed into his right thigh.
“Fuck!” he called out.
“Shit are you okay?” Steve was equally shocked as Clint but the situation eased as Clint pulled the arrow out just to see that it was only a small wound. Nevertheless Steve got up to get a plaster.
As he came back Clint drowned another cup of coffee although his hands were already shivering a little.
“Hey, take it easy man, this shit is boiling!” Steve said and offered Clint to put his mug back on the sidetable.
“I don’t drink it for the taste…” The archer only murmured and Steve sensed that he didn’t want to talk about what was going on in his head. It was only the arrow that Steve took away from him to which Clint silently agreed with a nod.
***Five hours in surgery***
“…he proposed to me this morning, you know?” Clint said quietly with the hint of a smile. He stared in the floor, next to his shoes.
Steve turned his head and stared directly at the man next to him.
“What?” he said with a widening smile.
“Yeah… we uhm” Clint hemmed and hawed and still didn’t managed it to look above the space of Steve’s knee.
“We had a moment with Natasha on the phone and after that he said ‘I’m gonna marry you’ and I was so dumbfounded all I could do was to stare at him and say ‘yes I do’. I uhm…”
Clint’s voice quavered and tears ran out of his eyes again but this time it was joy. Steve got up and so did Clint and they hugged each other for a long time. Clint felt Steve’s tears wetting his tank top but he didn’t care. Holding onto somebody what everything he needed in this moment and that this person was Steve was a true gift. They cried together and all their joy about the upcoming wedding, their fear and worries about the ongoing surgery and all the built-up adrenaline ran down their cheeks.
***Eight hours in surgery***
As Steve came by to bring Clint his second bottle of coffee the archer had fallen asleep. He lay in his chair curled up like a ball, breathing unevenly. It seemed impossible for Steve since a very unhealthy amount of caffeine now had to circulate within Clint’s system but somehow he was laying there sleeping. The exhaustion was written on his face and Steve covered him in a blanked he had brought with him form the kitchen. Hopefully it wouldn’t take that long anymore. With a tensed sigh Steve glanced to the surgery room door and sat back into his chair to continue the waiting.
*** Eleven hours in surgery***
With a deep sigh Stephen Strange took a step back and stripped off his surgery gloves as he watched Wanda letting Bucky’s hair regrow at the spot the surgery took place just until now. They were done. Bucky had been put into coma, connected to all sorts of cables including a breathing hose and a feeding tube. Stephen felt the adrenaline and his concentration abating and the tiredness creeped its way into his head. But they had agreed that at least one of them was around the entire time while Bucky was still into coma. By now all five of them were equally skilled in terms of medical knowledge to watch over Bucky alone but of course they were supported by Shuri’s lab team in basic tasks.
“I’m going to take the first shift” Stephen said while supressing a yawn.
As soon as he spoke these words he felt a warm hand on his shoulder that – to his surprise – was blue. Loki squeezed his arm.
“My love, you really need a rest!”
“We all do…”
“I can take the shift for you, Stephen. No back talk!” Wanda stated and Stephen realised he had to accept her decision unquestioningly.
“Thank you, Wanda!” he said and this time he did yawn.
“C’mon” Loki quietly said and gently tugged at his hand. “Let’s go to bed. We see each other tomorrow morning.”
They waved and turned to leave the room.
“I’ll go and talk to Clint and Steve that he’s into coma now.” They heard Shuri say before the door shut.
***
Loki’s head rested on Stephen’s bare chest. Their skin was still damp from the shower they both had just taken.
“Do you think he will make it?” Loki asked, adjusting their head in a more comfortable position.
A cold breeze blew through the opened balcony doors and made them shiver. Stephen pulled the blanked over Loki’s chest before he replied.
“He’s tough… I think he will. But we can’t be sure of course. The surgery was quite a heavy procedure. If he makes the night and next couple of days I guess we can have hopes.”