Chapter 4
It was quiet
Steve usually likes it when it's quiet, it gives him time to unwind and relax after a long mission, or meetings. While he loved his team and friends they understood he needed time by himself sometimes.
Now was one of those times
The serotonin and angry from the encounter and reveal to his team and Fury had worn off and had been replaced his shock and terror
He winced looking back at his actions in the living room of the tower- it wasn't that he didn't mean anything he said, he meant it all, it was just the way he acted- in front of team- his boyfriend, his boss for God's sake
"Jesus fuck" he muttered, his Mamma would wash his mouth out with soap If she was here and heard him but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.
He was so overwhelmed with so many emotions he just felt nothing. The situation was surreal. If someone told him a week ago he'd be pregnant with Tony Fucking Stark of all people he would've though they were stoned outta there mind
And yet, here he was.
When Helen broke the news to him before they told the rest of the team, she did bring up the option of experimentation to get the genius back. Steve hates himself for it, but he did briefly consider it- before he quickly declined.
He and the genius had a..compacted relationship to say the least, they fought over the smallest things. He knows the genius has a hard time with him for stealing his father away- Howard's obsession with Steve was hard for Tony, he knows it is.
Obviously Steve can't help that, he couldn't change the way Howard acted, hell he was frozen and didn't even know how the billionaires father was until a short while ago.
But he couldn't help but feel guilty anyway, despite everything they manged to be civil with each other- Steve likes to think they were even friends.
Which is why even if they didn't see eye to eye or weren't ad close as his other teammates, he couldn't bear to live with himself if someone went wrong and the fetus disappeared or something.
He couldn't live with himself if Tony Stark died because of him.
It was hard to give up Captain America- it's part of who he is, he saved lifes- he didn't do it for the money or the fame. He genuinely loved what he did and he loved his team. He wanted to retire at some point with Bucky and live on the countryside maybe but he was only 28 for God's sake. He wasn't even 30. It was way too early
But he couldn't be Captain America with a baby, for one the public would have a field day, and Helen says when Tony was born (God that sounds weird) there is a chance he might not remember anything. Or he could regain his memories little by little. She wasn't sure.
If Stark didn't remember, he couldn't be a superhero with him, the man was forced to grow up without a chance to be a kid, basically ignored by his real family. He didn't deserve that again, he'd think Steve was his real parent, he'd give him his last name so the public could think he adopted or something.
But he'd give him the childhood he deserved. Pepper could run Stark industries if he didn't wanna takeover. He'd give him a chance to do whatever he wanted.
He felt a flare of determination in his chest, he was terrified but he was going to do everything he could. He was nervous though- Tony was gone- he'd never be the same. What would happened to the tower? Would Fury kick in out because of the way he acted? He wouldn't be surprised. What about money? He wasn't an avenger anymore. Jesus
Laying upright on the bed, he felt a kick to his stomach and winced closing his eyes before they shot open and looked down at his belly.
He kicked.
What in the fuck. Steve didn't know much about being pregnant being a man and all but he though it took a few weeks for the first kick to happen. Maybe this was different because this wasn't a normal pregnancy?
He was scared. Would his water break sooner than normal? Would the birth go smoothly? Just because he wasn't willing to give Stark up for experimentation didn't mean the pregnancy would go smoothly. God he hoped above all he didn't loose the fetus
"Ow!" Steve winced again as he felt another kick- almost as Tony could sense Steve was worried and was telling him to chill out.
"Sorry Stark" Steve chucked without any humor in it "I'm just worried so many things could go- ow! Fuck"
He glared at his belly as another hard kick came "Jesus you're a pain in the ass even as a fetus, you're gonna be a nightmare as a toddler"
He regretted his words as another kick to his belly came, as saying in response 'shut up cap. I'm always an angel'
"I'm convinced you can hear me" Steve muttered before his voice turned soft "in that case..here" he took a deep breath as nothing came an opened his mouth and started soft singing
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The main area was quiet for a long time. Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. None really knew what to say- there was so much to unpack
Eventually the silence was broken by Sam "What happens now?"
Nobody really had an answer for him
"I don't know" Cilnt answers "I'm just waiting for this to all be a bad dream"
"It's not a dream" Natasha pipes up "this is reality and we need to accept it, if we keep living in denial, it was solve nothing"
"But-" Clint starts
"She's right you know" Phil points out "This is reality and we need to figure out how we're going to handle, Steve, Fury, SHIELD, the team, the press, the public everything"
After the agent spoke, to Bucky everything is suddenly so much more serious. This wasn't just a pregnancy, a MALE pregnancy mind you, or just some spell they could undo, Steve had made is crystal clear none touches the fetus, he'd do everything on his own. Bucky knows his boyfriend, he'd known him since he was a kid, and he knew nothing would change his mind.
Their entire life was going to change because of one stupid mistake.
"This is fucking insane" Bucky says racking his hair though his hair, " I mean come on, but Natasha and Phil are right. We need to accept this"
Bruce eyes him "Are you sure?" He asks "Bucky you know this is Steve we're talking about, and Tony- and the team- I know you are Tony didn't get along the best because of your...history but you were both trying and-"
"That's why we need to accept this!" Bucky growls out "Steve said none preforms anyone on Stark, which means none does anything on Stark. I know my boyfriend he is dead set on this, and he is willing to retire and raise Tony on his own and I say we need to accept his wishes. So if you aren't going to agree or help Steve, the door is right there"
Everyone's quiet after Buckys speech, he isn't really sure where it came from. He's just as scared at the rest of them but he'd help Steve no matter what. And even if he isn't the biggest fan of Stark, he deserves the chances to be a kid especially if he won't remember anything.
And Bucky is definitely far from dad or uncle material, but he can try.
"I'm down" Clint says breaking the tense atmosphere surprising Bucky and the rest of the team and everyone turns to stare at him "what?" He says, sounding offended "Steve is my friend, besides! I'll be the coolest uncle ever!" He says puffing out his chest
"That poor kid will die with you as an uncle, we'll have two babies to deal with" Phill mutters besides his boyfriend as Clint let's out an offended gasp and a few others nod at Phil's words. The room quickly breaks out into lighthearted teasing with frequent whining from Clint as the group argues about who'll win over Tony as best uncle or aunt
Bucky let's out a small smile despite himself. Before getting rid of it and he feels a hand on his shoulder and turns about to see Natasha smiling at him
"Steve and Stark are gonna be fine" she tells him confidently "After all he's gonna have the most badass auntie ever"
Bucky just rolls his eyes and she grins at him.
Suddenly everything feels a lot lighter.
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After joking and talking with the team, everyone agrees with Steve's choice, Stark isn't worth the risk, as annoying as he is, no one could ever replace Tony Stark.
The rest of the team agrees that it's late and they need the rest after their incredibly chaotic day. Bucky agrees to talk with Steve (since they share a room and all) about the teams feeling and also were to go from here.
After saying goodbye and thanks to the rest of the team (no chick-flick moments Barnes) says Sam, Bucky departs to his and Steve's floor, careful to be quiet not sure if the blonde is asleep or how he'll react if started.
He stops In the hallway in front of his and Steve's room- the door is open slightly and there's soft sounds coming from inside
He peeks his head inside the room and the sight that greets him has his heart fluttering in his chest like a lovesick teenager
Steve's back is to the door because of the positioning of the bed, but Bucky can see from the the side that the blonde is leaning against the headboard, his eyes are closed, one hand on his stomach protectively, and he's singing a soft tune Bucky has heard a million times before.
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad- take a sad song and make it better.."
Listening to his boyfriend sing the song he's grown to love, reminds Bucky of why he fell in love with the blonde to begin with. He's suddenly transported back to Brooklyn in the 40s cleaning up Steve's bruised cheek and scolding him
'I could handle it Buck!' He'd whine
'Sure you could, now just sit down and shut up and let me handle this you punk'
'Jerk'
He reminds the small, 80 pound spitfire of a blonde who didn't know how to walk away from a fight. Always trying to do the right thing.
Even when he received the serum, and was taller and bigger than Bucky was, he still had the same, kind loving heart he always did. He never let Captain America fame get to his head, it was never about that, he just wanted to help others.
After Bucky fell, Steve told him about how his grief as well as helping end the world drove him to sacrifice and effectively freeze himself for years.
Even with Bucky as the winter solider. After killing countless people, after trying to kill Steve, he never gave up on him.
That's the Steve Rogers he fell in love with.
The one who puts everyone else's needs above him. He's the most selfless, caring people Bucky will ever know
"Remember.. to let her into your heart.."
Bucky smiles. He'll make an amazing parent
"Then you can start to make it better.."
Bucky starting humming along with the song and he opens the door and Steve stop singing and looks up at him, before smiling and his boyfriend
"Don't stop on my accord" Bucky grins closing the door with his foot
Steve just huffs, sounding annoyed "Shut up, how long have you been there"
Bucky shrugs "Long enough" he says before pulling his shirt off and joining Steve in the bed
"Do you have to take your shirt off?"
"It's hot, why do my amazing abs bother you" Bucky smirks
Steve just rolls his eyes "You know yours don't hold a candle to mine"
A scoff "shut up you punk, showoff"
"Jerk" Steve shoots back automatically
Bucky relaxes at the familiar banter, laying down, pulling the covers over himself, turning on his side as Steve shoves him head into Buckys chest.
The domestically of it all, has Bucky smiling, closing his eyes, almost forgetting about their situation before Steve speaks up
"H-how did the team take everything?" He asks sounding incredibly meek and submissive
"Listen Steve..I don't know what's been going though that pretty little head of yours but me and the team agrees with your choice and we're gonna be with you each step of the way"
He hears Steve gasp and lift his head outta Buckys chest, eyes wide "really?" He asks breathlessly
Buckys heart aches, his sweet boy really though they were gonna leave him "of course sweetheart" he mutters "Stark deserves the chance you can give him, you'll be an amazing parent"
Steve just sniffles and moves a hand up to wipe his eyes "God Buck" he says "I'm so scared but I can't let anything happen to him..he's just gonna be a little kid I can't.."
Bucky just reaches his arm over to pull his boy closer "and you won't, he'll have to best Mamma and Uncles and Aunt ever"
Steve frowns at that "m not a Mom" he mutters
Bucky laughs "the entire team already calls you team mom" he grins at Steve's scowl "you're definitely mom"
"Fine. But if I'm mom then you're dad"
Bucky stiffens at that "I don't know Steve I'm not-"
"Don't" Steve says voice hard "you're every bit as qualified to be a parent as I am"
"But I-"
"That's in the past and it wasn't you, you're a great person Buck and you'll be a great dad so shut up"
Buckys heart just flutters again. The soft feeling making him relax a little bit "okay honey, if you say so"
"I do" Steve says "and I'm always right"
Bucky rolls his eyes "sure you are"
"I am"
"Whatever you say" before Steve can respond again, he yawns and his boyfriend laughs "shut up chuckles" Bucky says "it's been a long ass day. Let's go to sleep"
"But there's still-"
"It's late Steve, we'll figure it out in the morning"
He feels Steve deflate against him "okay" he agrees and cuddles into Bucky again as Bucky grabs the remote to turn off the lights (rich people he swears)
"Hey Buck?" Steve says
"Hmm?" Bucky asks, placing the remote on the nightstand
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"No guess"
"Christ Steve, what are you five? I don't know I'm exhausted just tell me
"Okay, okay fine, when you guys were downstairs I was worrying like crazy and Tony kicked when I did"
Buckys eye widen at that information "what?" He croaks out
He feels Steve nod against him "yup, he stopped when I started singing, he must know I'm worried and wanted me to stop" he laughs
"Fucks sake, Stark is already a pain and he's not even here" Bucky groans and Steve laughs
"He'll be difficult but I can't wait to give him what he should've got first time around..."
"And you will" Bucky promises, lifting Steve's head outta his chest to give him a soft kiss "you'll be the best Mamma"
"Yeah right, you're already such a dad" Steve sighs before buying himself back into Buckys chest and closing his eyes "G'night Buck, I love you"
Buckys heart soars "I love you too Stevie" he mutters
He really did and it was time to make it official.
To be a proper family.