O Brother, Where Art Thou?

"You’re ignoring me, again."

Tony hummed and kept looking out at the lake. Fog was rolling off of it like something out of a horror film, and Tony absently wondered if all of his dreams—even the good ones—were always destined to be touched by his fear and anxiety.

"God, Pep. I miss you." He felt her fingers card through his hair as she hugged him from behind. She rubbed circles on his back.

"For someone so smart, you can be such a dumbass."

His lips quirked. His subconscious had mimicked her perfectly. Her tone of voice, the fond exasperation she held just for him.

"Tell me what to do. I’m lost here."

"You’re grieving. And you don’t want to face it. And Tony, you can’t keep burying it because we have two children who are counting on you."

"Pepper, we have one child." He finally found the courage to look at her. Bruises littered her body and her head was bleeding. She looked just like she did when he found her on the pavement. Dead on impact they said. Webbing in her hair. He could make it out even in this fucked up dream. She lifted her hand to his cheek and whispered, "Do you really believe that?"

Like always, she began to disappear. "I can’t hold this much longer, Tony. He’s breaking and there won’t be anything left."

Tony woke up gasping, details of his dream slipping away quickly. He looked at his watch: 3:45. He could hear Morgan breathing rhythmically next to him. He kissed her on the forehead and slipped out of the bedroom, into the living area where he could read and answer emails without worrying about waking her up.

"Friday?"

Yes, boss?

"Look someone up for me, baby girl. Benjamin A. Fitzpatrick. I want everything you got—parents’ names and addresses, kindergarten records, part time jobs, hell, even his favorite sandwich shop. The works."

Tony was many things—chaotic, rash, arrogant, stubborn—but he was not oblivious. He worked hard to maintain an image that cast him as aloof and unbothered, but in reality? He felt like his very skin was made up of anxiety and hypervigilance. So when Rhodey handed him his class ring, Tony played along as if he also didn’t notice it had been on “Just Call Me Fitz”’s hand a few hours prior.

Rhodey knows Tony well—but ever since Pepper, Rhodey’s mother-henning had been ramped to eleven. He wouldn’t be surprised if his friend was conducting his own investigation without letting him know, afraid he might shatter like glass. Maybe it’s for the best, his mind considered traitorously. Tony would never say this out loud, but, lately, every day felt like a fight against his hard-won sobriety. He was all edges now, and longed for the days when those edges could be muted by sex and alcohol. His impatience for people like Benjamin was just as much due to his own inner turmoil as it was to the belief that the kid was an entitled asshole.

He heard Morgan stirring in the other room. 7:30. Sighing deeply, he got up to tell her about their change of plans. To be honest, he was concerned that she would be riding in the same car as the strange, sad, irresponsible college student she insisted was her forgotten brother. Was it harmful to her mental health? His own? He wondered if a more responsible person would have refused—would’ve thought he was crazy for even considering it.

Even Tony found it weird that his own paranoid self felt a sense of relief when his professor suggested they drive the boy up. His body actually relaxed when presented with the opportunity to take responsibility for the kid, to monitor his behavior in an environment where he couldn’t run away again. A weird protectiveness settled when he allowed himself to think of Benjamin’s shaking hands and sad eyes last night. It felt strangely familiar. It felt…parental. Tony quickly locked this thought away, along with all its implications. Maybe Rhodey was right. Maybe they were being drugged.

“Hey Maguna. Light of my life. Beautiful daughter. My sleepy-headed scientist. Let’s get up and get ready, yeah? Change of plans.”

An hour later, Tony and Morgan met Happy and Rhodey in the lobby. Tony had packed a day bag for Morgan, who was excited to be going to a pool (In December, daddy! This is so cool!) and prepped her on the rules for their outing. They got into their rental as he explained it again. “No running off again, okay bug? Stick with one of us. We’re going to pick up the kid and then go on a little drive.” He paused, trying to find the right words. “Morgan, we didn’t get a chance to talk very long last night, but I think it’s a good idea to leave Benjamin alone as much as possible today. We don’t want to make him uncomfortable.” I don’t trust him went unsaid but by the looks Rhodey and Happy were giving him in the rear view mirror, he knew they understood.

Tony felt like a hypocrite, since his plan was actually to make Benjamin Fitzpatrick extremely uncomfortable. He wanted answers, and wasn’t above playing mind games with the mysterious sketchy 19 year-old with an alcohol problem. Happy pulled into a parking space in front of the residence hall, and offered to fetch the kid. If Tony hadn’t been dealing with his own internal freak-out, he would have noticed Happy’s strange energy and the absolute oddness of such an offer. Happy was practically vibrating with anticipation, something Rhodey was side-eyeing but Tony missed. Morgan was oblivious to her family’s nervousness and clearly excited to spend the day with the boy she had adopted against all of their wishes—the kid’s included.

A concerning thirty minutes later (Rhodey had to talk him out of going in there with his suit), Happy walked back out with Benjamin shuffling behind him. Tony noticed Happy’s stormy mood immediately, and Ben, who had seemed so self-assured yesterday, almost appeared guilty.

“Get in,” growled his friend.

Benjamin was wearing a gray shirt with a red pullover, dark jeans, and dark sunglasses. He was holding a water bottle in one hand and a backpack in the other. His curly hair was wet from a shower, and he smelled like a mix of body spray and alcohol. Tony gave him an incredulous look, but Benjamin avoided his eyes and sat down quietly. He pushed his body all the way against the car window and seemed to curl into himself.

“Everything okay, Hap?”

“Peachy, Boss.”

He met Rhodey’s eyes briefly, and awkwardly cleared his throat. “Ben?”

“It’s Fitz.”

Tony didn’t know that much disdain could even fit into two measly words, but the kid was almost as adept as building walls as Tony.

Morgan leaned over and patted him on the arm. “Hiya, Fitz! I’ll call you Fitz because MJ said it was really important to call people by the names they want and not the names you want to call them.” Tony watched as Ben choked on the water he was drinking. Through his coughing, Tony heard him ask Morgan who MJ was. “Oh! She’s my babysitter! Me and dad met her one day getting donuts after Spider-Man’s party. She gave me a free one because I was wearing a Spider-Man shirt and said he was her favorite hero. Dad thought she was funny and she picks me up from school sometimes and she’s awesome.”

Morgan didn’t take a breath, and Tony watched as Ben gave her a small smile. It almost looked wistful. “Who is your favorite superhero?” Ben looked out the window again. Tony almost thought he wasn't going to answer her, but after a beat he winked and said, "I think Captain America is the best, hands down." Both Tony and Rhodes scoffed at the same time and Morgan squealed. "Uncle Steve is awesome. I wanted to do my history report on him, but Dad said that no one wanted to read about a 100 year-old man who smelled like soup and regret. Whatever that means." Morgan chattered on and Tony pulled out his StarkPad to work on and silently observe. He opened up the file Friday was creating for him and started to read through it as he watched Ben slowly unwind his body. 

Ben looked a lot younger than the few times he talked to him yesterday. Tony could make out scratches on his arms and his cuticles were torn. He noticed that Ben kept tapping his leg and had an almost imperceptible tremor in his hands. He wondered how long it had been since he had his last drink. He could pick up on small signs of withdrawal as Ben took another drink of water. 

"So, Benji-" "-Fitz-" "Tell us about yourself. Inquiring minds want to know. What brought you out to California? How did you get interested in engineering?"

"School. My father." 

"O-kay. Dr. P said you transferred after getting a full ride because you wanted to work on the JACCASS with him."

"...the..what...what did you call it?" Ben finally looked up and gave his full attention to Tony. For a moment, Tony faltered. This was the first time Ben had made eye contact with him since they met, and Tony felt unmoored. A wave of deep sadness washed over him and a sense of longing and deja vu knocked him over like a tsunami. He shook himself out of it, and smiled, mischievously.

"I took the courtesy of naming it for you, wunderkind. The JACCASS. Jazzy Apparatus for Curing Cancer And Serious Stuff. Fits, doesn't it?"

"Don't you think it's a little cocky to name it after yourself?" Ben looked at him and smirked. Happy and Rhodey, who were traitorous scoundrels, both laughed. Morgan piped up, "What's a jackass, Dad?"

Rhodey had mercy on him. "Want to play, I Spy, Morgan?"

"As long as Fitz can play." 

Their voices faded in the background as Tony looked at the information Friday sent him.

Benjamin Anthony Fitzpatrick (DOB: 8.10.01, Place of Birth: Unknown, Age: 19, Parents: Unknown) 

The information was scarce. Friday was still scanning databases, but she could not find a match for parents, or a birth certificate or many school records. She found the application he made to Caltech, and from there was able to find a diploma from a STEM school in Pasadena, but as Tony looked at it, he was pretty sure it had been forged. This left him with more questions than answers. Benjamin wasn't on scholarship, though his "grades" put him in the top percentage of students, there was a note in his file that said, "Student declined full-ride scholarship citing extensive family resources." Tony could see his bill was paid, but it came through direct deposit and not a residential address. For all intents and purposes, Tony was riding with a person who did not exist before his application to college. Even if he had lost his records in the Blip, there should have been something traceable to him. No one lives off the grid in day and age, especially not teenagers. Tony watched as Morgan convinced Ben to read to her from her favorite book. Tony thought his voice—when it wasn't arrogant or slurring—was comforting. Almost like coming home. 

"How strange it is that they can't tell us what they themselves seem to know," a tall thin beast murmured. One of Aunt Beast's tentacled arms went around Meg's waist again. "They are very young. And on their earth as they call it, they never communicate with other planets. They revolve out all alone in space." "Oh." The thin beast said. "Aren't they lonely?"

The car was quiet. Morgan was looking at Ben who had dropped the book suddenly. He seemed to be having trouble breathing. Tony unbuckled quickly as Happy pulled over the car. "Benjamin. Fitz. Buddy. You need to breathe for me." Tony watched him lose color as he kept hyperventilating. On instinct (and something he would think about for weeks to come), he pulled him to his chest and started taking exaggerated breaths while counting out loud. Eventually, the kid seemed to match his breathing. Out of habit, Tony began singing the same lullaby he sang after Morgan's bad dreams.  They sat like that for about fifteen minutes while the rest of the car looked on. Morgan had tears in her eyes, and Rhodey and Happy were giving him the universal "WTF" face. Finally, Ben seemed to realize what was happening and jerked away quickly. He muttered a soft, "I'm so sorry," and looked out the window. 

The car was quiet. Eventually Happy drove on, while Rhodey and Morgan talked about school and Tony stared at his StarkPad. He couldn't begin to unpack what had just happened, nor could he put into any language how holding Ben made him feel inexplicably complete. By the time they got to Albert Prentiss's house, there was an unspoken contract among all of them not to mention it.

Happy pulled up a long gravel road, passing the gate to the Prentiss property. Tony was impressed at how opulent it seemed for his old, humble professor. Morgan's leg was bouncing in excitement and she told the car she was going to make Happy play Marco Polo with her "right away, please, Uncle Happy, I'll never ask for anything ever again." 

They parked next to another black SUV in the driveway, and piled out as Albert walked up to shake Tony's hand.

"Tony! James! And this must be Miss Morgan! Welcome." He smiled warmly and put his arm around Benjamin's shoulders. "Benjamin, my boy. You came! I knew sending in the troops was the right move. And Harold, Tony told me so much about you. Come in, come in! We have brunch ready."

Tony followed the group up the front stairs and into a large foyer with stucco tile lining the floor. Albert quickly ushered them into his dining room, and Tony could feel an almost frantic energy exuding off of him. Benjamin stopped in the doorway, and Tony ran into him. "Whoa, kid. What gives?" 

Ben looked up at him with impossibly wide eyes, as Tony stepped around him. Sitting at the head of the table was another man Dr. Prentiss was introducing to Morgan. "It's lovely to meet you, Miss Stark." As Morgan giggled, Tony took a second to process. He grabbed Morgan quickly into his arms.  

"Norman. Fancy meeting you here. I thought I was Dr. P's favorite investor." Tony said archly. Albert cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Come in, everyone. He won't bite." Norman Osborn smirked. "Norman is an old friend of mine and was also very interested in Benjamin's research. He flew out here last night as my guest. I...I hope you don't mind." The elder man was sweating.

Norman Osborn tilted his head towards Tony, who handed Morgan off to Rhodey. "Dr. Stark and I are well acquainted. And Benjamin, is it? I look forward to talking about your research and invention in a little bit. But I'm starving and we wouldn't want to impose on Al's hospitality, would we?"

Tony felt like Osborn was saying a million things in that, but couldn't really figure out what was happening. He had let his guard down and walked into something seemingly innocuous, but still made him so uneasy. Norman Osborn had always been a prick and a crook, sure, but today, Tony felt there was something even more sinister happening and it was spiraling quickly out of his control. And looking around the room, he could tell he wasn't the only one. Rhodey's mouth was drawn tightly and Happy's eyes narrowed. But none of them looked as bad as Ben Fitzpatrick, whose face went sheet white and looked absolutely sick.