It's Fare Thee Well My Old True Lover
Not many people know how Harold Hogan and Tony Stark first met. Over the years, it became a game to see which of the two could add the most outlandish things to the tale, so much so that even Rhodey couldn't quite recall the details of the actual meeting. Some said that they met in an underground boxing ring, where Tony was the first person to ever land a punch. In the early years of Tony's public escapades, tabloids would propose that Tony and Happy were part of a polyamorous relationship with Brad Pitt and Cher. Tony told Morgan one day that he met Happy at the circus as a clown, and hired him on the spot. Happy told Morgan that he met Tony at a donut shop and rescued him from choking on an iced maple bear claw. The truth, however, like hidden truths usually are, was a lot more depressing.
Happy thought about this on that morning's drive to pick up the strange kid. He prided himself on being three steps ahead of everybody else. Even taking the job out of the equation, you couldn't be one of Tony Stark's closest friends without having plans and contingency plans and contingency plans for contingency plans. Sometimes, Happy felt like his brain was just as active as Tony's AI. He saw threats everywhere, and his own attention to surroundings and situations had paid off exponentially—even if labelled paranoid by his best friend. He saved Tony's life at least 44 times in the past 35 years (not that he was counting) and prided himself on keeping Morgan safe.
Happy was not regret-free, however, and under his carefully curated persona as "gruff, unapproachable, armed protector", Happy was barely hanging on. He didn't blame Tony for missing this. Happy was never someone who could be described as vulnerable, and only a heartless bastard would expect a recent widower to pick up on someone else's grief. And while Happy could count his friendships on only two fingers (Rhodey would claim the middle one), he never felt ignored or dismissed. He knew that Tony cared for him just as much as he knew their dynamic thrived off of pretending to not care.
But as Happy pulled into the parking lot, he couldn't help the melancholy that settled in his chest as he listened to Morgan and Tony talk about their plans. There was nothing that made Happy miss May more than watching Morgan joke with Tony ("I'm telling you, Morgan, you have to keep your dad in line. When Happy and I get married, you'll be in charge of him." "May, what lies are you feeding my daughter?" "Aunt May says you're incorrigible." "Aunt May is a menace. Kid, control Aunt Hottie."), but it also filled him with an overwhelming feeling of wrongness. (A wrongness that also hit when he thought about Tony calling May a hottie. Where the hell did that come from?) Harold Hogan rarely felt wrong-footed. It bothered him when it did happen, and ever since seeing the kid drunk off his ass the night before, he not only felt knocked off his axis, but incredibly angry.
As he watched the kid who called himself "Fitz" attempt to finish a bottle of tequila, as he saw the videos and pictures he made the kid's roommates delete, as he threw away every ounce of alcohol in that underaged den of unwashed boys, as he handed Rhodey the trashcan for Vomitmania 2025, Happy's head was filled with static and he only saw red. And he was more than ready to blame those feelings on his protectiveness of Morgan and how terrified he was when he walked into the unsecured dormitory and found his best friend's 8 year-old daughter holding hands with a drunk 19 year-old.
He was more than ready to pass that anger off as having a low-tolerance for bullshit and bullshitters. To pretend the anger had nothing to do with the absurd fact that when Happy looked at Benjamin Fitzpatrick's face, he saw Ben Parker, clear as the creased picture May used to carry around in her wallet. That it had nothing to do with the impossible fact that when he saw Benjamin Fitzpatrick, he saw an uncanny resemblance to the boy holding white roses at May's grave, practically a year ago. That his anger was not because Benjamin Fitzpatrick was making dumb decisions a la party-era Tony Stark and not because his heart beat erratically when he thought of the danger the kid was putting himself in by drinking so much. No, those were not the reasons he was angry. Because that would be weird. And Happy Hogan does not do weird.
So, when they parked, Happy quickly volunteered to retrieve said kid from his room. It was a testament to how distracted both Tony and Rhodey were that they didn't bat an eye at the out-of-character move. The strange anger from the previous night began bubbling up again as Happy knocked on Benjamin's door for the third time. Happy eventually turned the doorknob and finding it unlocked, walked straight to the bedroom he knew belonged to the idiot. And he should have anticipated the scene in front of him—he should have bet on it—because it was a such a typical Tony move that Happy felt like he was looking at the man’s yearbook. Instead of finding Benjamin Fitzpatrick ready to go, he found Benjamin Fitzpatrick half naked, with a bottle of tequila laying next to him, while ashes from a burnt-out cigarette coated his pillowcase.
Happy pulled out his phone and turned up the volume. He pressed play and "Reveille" blasted from the speakers. He opened the blinds. "Rise and shine, kid."
"What the fuck?" Benjamin's voice was gravelly. Happy flicked him on the forehead. "You've got 10 minutes."
Benjamin looked completely lost, and as much as Happy didn't give a fuck about whether or not the kid knew what was going on, he didn't want to waste any more time witnessing the godforsaken tragedy he had stumbled upon. "Your professor wants to meet us at his house today. He asked Tony to pick you up. I am unfortunately part of this too. You've got 7 minutes."
To his credit, Ben seemed relatively unbothered and walked into the bathroom. He shrugged. "Whatever, dude. Pour yourself something while you wait."
It was not 7 minutes, but 15 minutes later when the kid emerged, showered, with dark circles under his eyes and a wariness that seemed to increase the longer he was awake. He grabbed his backpack and a water bottle. "Let's get this over with." Happy stared at him. "What's wrong, Cheerful? Do I have something on my face?" Benjamin smirked and started to walk out the door. Happy blocked his exit with his arm and fixed him with a glare. Benjamin's smile slipped as Happy grabbed his water bottle. He poured the contents down the drain and filled it back up with tap water.
"Let's go. I haven't been employed by Tony Stark for over 30 years for some punk-ass kid to pull the same tired old stunts as if I was born yesterday." The kid rolled his eyes, and Happy leaned closer, with an almost predatory smile. "My family is the most important thing in the world. I don't know what your fucking deal is, but you better be on your best behavior today, because I will kill to keep them safe." He straightened up and pushed Ben in front of him. The kid began walking as if he were off to the gallows, but that didn't matter to Happy, it absolutely didn't matter to Happy, Happy definitely didn't feel concerned, because this was a stranger and his fiancée was dead and no person alive would be able to ease that pain, especially not little shits with god complexes.
So Happy drove. And he let the anger wash over him and he blocked out the conversations behind him as he got lost in thoughts of May and the boy by her grave. But then Morgan asked Ben to read to her. And then Ben broke down. And then Tony unbuckled. And then Happy pulled over. And for the second time that day, Happy was reminded of how he and Tony Stark first met.
'Hey man. You ok? Maybe take a breath or something.'
'Do you ever look at the stars and wonder if it would be worth it to be a burning ball of gas for the rest of your life just to be part of something beautiful?'
'I think maybe you've had enough of whatever you're on right now.'
'I wish I were beautiful like a star. Then maybe the burning wouldn't hurt so much.'
'Who are you here with?'
'Who am I not here with?'
'Was that supposed to be a fucking joke?'
'Lighten up, man. You don't look very happy. You should be happy. We should all be happy.'
'Listen, I'll call someone for you. Just...I don't know man...step back.'
'I don't have any friends. Do you have friends, Happy? You seem like someone who has friends. Will you be my friend, Happy?'
'Let's get you some water and a nap, boss, and ask me tomorrow morning.'
Happy prided himself on having contingency plans for contingency plans, but no one can plan for things like dead fiancées, and white roses, and broken boys with no will to live.
Norman Osborn, however? He should have been in the fucking plan.
Because for the first time in a long time, Harold Hogan found himself three steps behind everyone, looking down the barrel of a gun, wondering if he'd even be alive to make rescue #45.