Chapter 10
Peters pov,
He woke up and his whole body was aching and everything felt heavy, too heavy he couldn’t open his eyes but he could hear someone near him. He heard Mr. Stark and it sounded like he was crying. That didn’t make sense to him, why would Mr.Stark cry over him? Did he make a mistake, maybe Mr.Stark actually cared more than he thought. With that on his mind, he drifted back off into the dark nothingness.
It had been almost a day when Peter woke up this time he could actually open his eyes and when he did he saw Mr. Stark sitting next to the bed sleeping. He didn’t want to wake him, he seemed exhausted but he knew that Mr.Stark would want to see that he was okay.
“Mr. Stark?” He asked in a raspy tone.
“Peter! Thank god your awake, how are you feeling?” Tony asked in a concerned manner.
“I’m good, Mr.Stark, I promise.”He said trying to sound convincing.
“You clearly aren’t and this time I’m not accepting lies.” Tony responded.
“ I'm sorry” He said not knowing what else to say.
“You failed at killing yourself, how can you be that much of a failure.” The voice hissed through his head.
“You don’t need to apologize I'm not mad I just want to know why.” Tony said
“ Just got low I guess.” He replied nonchalantly.
“ ‘Just got low’? That's what you say when you don't get out of bed not when you nearly kill yourself.” Tony voiced as he was trying to keep from losing control.
“You wouldn’t get it.” He said starting to get upset.
“Try me, kid, I don’t tell people this often but I have panic attacks and one time during one downed a bottle of pills. I just needed it to stop. That's not how I should have handled it and I regretted it, but I know how you feel way more than you think.” Tony spoke calmly even though he was crying.
“I’m sorry Mr. Stark I didn't know, I just feel so stupid like I don't deserve your attention or compassion or i think that you guys would be better off if i wasn’t here anymore.”He said not looking up, scared of his reaction.
“Oh kid, you deserve the world and more and we are all so much better off with you in this world. When I found you on that roof I thought you were dead and I felt like my world was crashing down, I am so glad you survived because you mean so much to me Peter.” Tony said chocking up.
“Thank you Mr.Stark” He said finally meeting his eyes.
“He's lying you know that right?” The voice rang through his head once again.
“Just shut up” He whispered under his breath.
“What was that?” Tony asked confused.
“Nothing I was just talking to myself.” He replied embarrassed that Tony heard him.
“Peter, are you hearing things?” Tony asked getting concerned.
“Sometimes but I'm not crazy.” He replied hoping his mentor wouldn't think down on him, but he was done with lying to him.
“I don't think you're crazy but since you are maybe medication would help?” Tony suggested cautiously.
“Maybe I don't know anymore, do you think I can just get some sleep?” He asked getting frustrated.
“Yeah no problem we will talk more in the morning, oh and Banner wants to have you talk to the therapist in the morning as well,” Tony said before getting up to leave.
“Stay safe and get some sleep okay?” Tony added,
“Okay Mr. Stark” He replied.
And with that Tony went to go talk to Banner and Peter was off to a restless sleep.