Chapter 3
Vigilante Fight Club:
Salem: Guys, guys, guys
Salem: Guess who’s in town
Daredevil: Oh no
Jessica Jones: Fuck yeah
Spider-Man: ???
Luke Cage: Yelena
Iron Fist: Yelena
Deadpool: That women terrifies me
Salem: :) :) :) :) :)
Daredevil: I’m doomed
Deadpool: We’re doomed
Spider-Man: Who is Yelena?
Salem: …
Salem: Whoop meant to send that to the in the know TM chat
Salem: She’s a… friend???
Daredevil: She’s a fucking terror
Jessica Jones: I like her
Deadpool: That’s cause she’ll get sloshed with you
Spider-Man: I am? Confused???
Salem: I should invite her to fight club!
Daredevil: No!
Deadpool: NO
Iron Fist: Please don’t
Luke Cage: Sweet Jesus
Spider-Man: ???
Salem: Fine I won’t invite her to fight club
Salem: you all suck
Deadpool: and swallow
— — — —
“So,” Peter started, standing in Fogwells with Salem, “Who’s Yelena?”
“NO!” Someone shouted tackling them to the ground before they could answer.
“Fuck, Wade get off me!”
Wade looked up and that’s Deadpool, holy shit what has he gotten himself into.
Salem threw Deadpool off them and stood up, “Yelena is-“
“No!” Daredevil screamed, throwing the door open, “This,” he gestured around, “Is a sacred place, we do not speak of her here.”
“What did she do?” Peter whispered.
“There was so much glitter,” Daredevil spoke in a broken whisper.
Jessica Jones emerged from behind Daredevil and tapped his shoulder, “We know Red.”
Jones turned her gaze to Peter, looking him up and down, “So, you’re the Spider-Kid.”
He spluttered, “Wh- I’m not a kid.”
“You’re definitely a teen,” Daredevil said, “You smell like it.”
“Wh-“ these people were so unsettling, dear god.
“Ignore him.”
“Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana? I’m Deadpool,” he spoke, popping up in front of Peter and holding out his hand.
Salem slapped Deadpool’s hand away, “Ignore him too.”