Chapter 1
He invited me to his house. Or well, his apartment. The specifics are less important. What matters is the fact that he invited ME there, and I know exactly what his intentions are. It all started about an hour ago, with me and my stupid comments getting me stuck in less than ideal situations.
"I've only ever kissed one person, actually." I said it with so much smugness it's laughable. I try not to reveal too much sensitive information, but Wade was really getting on my nerves. He kept calling me a "secret whore" and other names of the kind. Claiming that I play innocent for the aesthetic. God, the audacity of that man.
"One person? You're shitting my dick! Hey, dont fuck with me now princess, are you being serious?"
"Wade, why would I lie about something like that? Jesus, I don't see why it's so baffling to you considering you call me a virgin all the time."
"Well, that's just because it's fun to get you all worked up. I didn't think it was true. Wow. Wow Wow Wow. This is too good Spidey, too good." He chuckled at me as I rolled my eyes, deciding not to continue this conversation any further. He clearly didn't have the same idea, as he continued to pester me about it. Even when I disappeared from our perch on the building to go and prevent what seemed to be an attempted robbery, he simply followed after me, furthering his remarks. We stopped the robbery. Well, I stopped the robbery, Wade just teased me the entire time. It was then that I, exhausted from the solo fight, stopped biting my tongue.
"I haven't had the opportunity okay! I was launched into a full time ass kicking career before I even finished high school. So, sorry for not living up to your slut in disguise allegations. But its not something i'm that happy about so, why don't you just shut up about it. God." With this, Wade paused for a few seconds. I almost thought my pleas had worked, until he said it.
"Come home with me tonight, Spidey." It was a statement, not a question, as if he knew exactly what was going on inside my head at that moment. As if he knew that my burning curiosity and my sharply pumping adrenaline made me jump at the opportunity to go to his place. Just to know what it looked like, what it smelt like. It was as if he knew that I was absolutely obsessed with him, that I craved him since the first moment we met.
In the beginning, it was simply lust. But once I managed to get past the very, very thick layer of his intolerable personality, I found parts of him that I loved. The way he made a horrific snorting noise whenever he was truly laughing. The way he kept a list of all the mexican restaurants he's tried and a rating of their foods. The way he avoided looking at me when he finally felt comfortable enough to take off his mask in front of me, and deflected with so many idiotic yet somehow cute insults. He isn't a good person, we both agree on that. But what he doesn't know is that I don't think he's a bad person either. The world isn't black and white, and I have Wade to thank for teaching me that. He isn't good, nor bad. Hes deeper, he's so much more than those two little words. He's thoughtful and hes impulsive, hes generous and hes cruel. Hes beautiful, and he has horrifying aspects to himself that I can't even begin to understand. Hes complicated, and I love him.
And, well, because of all those gross emotions and such, it was only natural that I followed him to his apartment and, well, its honestly not been that eventful. We are currently 20 minutes into a random chick flick that Wade called "a cinematic masterpiece". He's been periodically munching at popcorn, offering me some every couple of minutes. I deny it everytime, partly because i'm too nervous to eat and partly because i don't want him to see how red my face has gotten.
Wade has changed into casual clothes, sweatpants and a hoodie, and has discarded his mask. I on the other hand am in full spidey suit, mask and all. Actually, I don't think Wade has ever seen me with my mask fully off. I'm not particularly sensitive about my face but, I get a bit too insecure around Wade. Kind of ironic for me to say, considering Wade has expressed much more insecurity about his scars and yet still unmasks around me.
Anyways, these casual clothes are making me feel so embarrassed in my suit. I know Wade doesn't care but for some reason I feel out of place. I feel like he's looking at me like i'm an idiot. Who am I kidding, he ALWAYS looks at me like i'm an idiot.
Suddenly. Wade clears his throat, jumping me out of my train of thought.
"You don't seem to be interested in the movie. Not classy enough for you, princess?" He asks, turning to look at me as he lowers the tv volume.
"It's not that I just.. I mean, I didn't think you invited me over to watch a movie."
"Actually, I was planning on brutally murdering and dismembering your body, but when we finally got here I decided that Legally Blonde was far more important."
"Wade."
"Spidey."
"Wade"
"Thats my name, don't wear it out."
"Wade. Why am I here?" He pauses for a moment, but I can't get a read on what he's thinking. He's just as much of a mystery without his mask as he his with it.
Finally, after an what seems like ten minutes of him just thinking, he says, "Who was your first kiss?" I scoff.
"Really? That's what's so important?" He just continues to stare at me, so I sigh and cave in.
"Her name is MJ. She was my childhood crush. We were like 15 and had stayed up late and then, well it just happened. For her it was more out of curiosity than an actual desire to kiss me. And for me, well, I eventually moved on and ultimately the kiss wasn't a big deal. Honestly I don't think i've thought about it since junior year." Wade takes a second to absorb this.
"Well the fact that your first kiss was a girl is shocking enough. You're straight? I mean my gaydar is basically a blaring siren whenever i'm around you. And, wait this happened when you were 15? How old are you? God I hope you're legal."
"I'm 23 you creep. And, im bisexual by the way."
"Oh thank god, my gaydar isn't quite broken yet babe." The use of babe makes my heart skip a beat. He's always using a nickname for me, but he's never used babe before. Does it mean anything? What is he thinking right now? God, im pathetic aren't I. He's probably thinking about how pathetic I am. I just want him to want me, but I don't have what it takes. I don't have anything desirable, but i just wish i could touch him, just once. And honestly, right now might be my only chance. And what do I have to lose? If he says no I can just fake my death while fighting a villain and then move to a foreign country. Fuck it. Fuck it all.
"Will you kiss me?" I can basically feel my face deepen its already red shade. Wade just stares at me, his eyes widened a bit. After the initial shock, he starts to grin.
"I knew you couldn't resist me, baby boy"
"I-It's not that! I just want the practice and, I mean, well, fuck you were the one who brought the kissing thing up in the first place!" Wade simply chuckles at this.
"Say please."
"What?"
"You heard me. If you really want to kiss me, princess, be polite about it." I'm pretty sure my jaw would have hit the floor if it wasn't being held up by the mask. I mean as much as this would turn me on in other circumstances, at this point it was just humiliating. If I say please and he ends up saying no, I'll never live it down. But, if I say please and he says yes....god. Well, i've already taken it this far.
"Wade....please."
"Please what?"
"You know what, fuck you Wade. You're an absolute bastard, god. Fuck, just, please let me kiss you Wade!"
With this, he lifts my mask to my nose and grips my jaw, placing a firm kiss on my lips. He pulls back long enough for me to process, and then continues. We shift into each other, and he rubs my back with one hand as the other still holds my jaw in place. I honestly have no idea what to do with my hands so I just grip onto the couch cushion. He's moving his lips a lot, and I try to mimic the actions. This leads to a couple awkward nose kisses, as I end up making us out of sync. He doesn't show any reaction to this, just continuing his smoothe movement. Eventually he bites on my lower lip and pulls down.
"Open" He whispers. I oblige, and immediately feel the warmth of his tongue slides into my mouth. I can't help but gasp at the feel of the wet foreign object entering me. Its.. its kinda weird. I mean, I don't hate it but i don't particularly like it. It's just there, swirling around. Am I supposed to move my tongue as well? It's probably weird if I just do nothing. I try to follow his lead, moving my tongue to gently lick his lower lip. I pull it back in and try to like, lick his tongue with my tongue. Its weird, it's so so weird but I wanted to feel him so I just did it on impulse. And, oh, he bit my tongue. Oh..oh. He bit my tongue. Maybe i'm not good at kissing? God I knew trying to move my tongue as well was a bad idea. A few seconds after the bite, and after I very quickly stop my movements, Wade pulls away from me. His hands are now both on my shoulders, but he's not making eye contact, instead looking at a spot on the ground.
".....Wade?" He doesn't reply, but instead moves his lips to my neck, leaving a trail of kisses before starting to laugh. It starts very small, but eventually it becomes too hard for him to continue and he pulls away from me, taking his hands off of me as well. He tosses his head back now, consumed with laughter.
"Ha.. haha, Wade? What's so funny?" He slowly calms down his laughter, dramatically wyping fake tears from his eyes.
"It's just, I never thought you would ever ask me to kiss you, let alone go through with it!"
"Well, I mean yeah I guess it was a bit out of character but why are you laughing?"
"HAhahaha, oh wow. It's just genuinely hilarious to me how touch starved you must be. I mean, you would kiss anyone at this point, wouldn't you? I might as well set you up on a blind date with a sewer rat, maybe then you can finally go all the way with someone." With this, I pull my mask down again, and I'm on my feet, headed to the window. I knew he didn't like me but I thought that maybe kissing him would at least get him to be attracted to me or something. A sewer rat? Does he think I just did this because im desperate? Or maybe I was just so bad at it that he couldn't contain his laughter. Fuck. Fuck, i've got to get out of here. I can not let him see me cry over this.
"Aw, leaving so soon Spiderman? Heh well, I hope you had fun because I certainly did not!" He's still smiling as I look back, but still refuses to meet my eyes. Just as the first tear falls, I escape out the window and start swinging back to my apartment.
I was so stupid. So so so stupid. I wonder how bad I must've been for him to react like that. I know i'm inexperienced but even so, I thought i'd at least be average at it. And, god I bet he has others. I mean, its Wade, no doubt he has a handful fuck buddies around New York. Will he tell them about how horrible I was? Maybe he'll even avoid kissing them so he doesn't have to think about it. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Im pathetic. I am absolutely pathetic and disgusting. I don't know why I ever thought he would want to kiss me in the first place. And oh, he called me spiderman, didn't he? He never calls me spiderman. God. What will I do? And Wade, jesus Wade, what will you do?