"Technical Cheater"
Tuesday, April 20th
10:28 A.M.
“Octavius, do you understand the kind of mess you made last night? I nearly cleaned the entire back alley! You are FIRED!” Serenity crowed from the front doors of Blue Owl Cafe, waving a newspaper in her hand.
Octavius towered over the ex-militarian woman, shriveling up to a petty three feet below her at most. With how she yelled, his embarrassment doubled.
Otto’s heartbeat rose in his chest and throat, his ears and face burning with pure shame as he rushed to his car. He slammed the door beside him and slumped against the steering wheel.
“Shit.”
“Dzzzzt. Dzzzzt. Dzzzzt. Dzzz-”
“Hello?” Otto raised the phone to his ear.
“Hey!”
“Oh. Hi Rosie.”
“You sound sad. What’s wrong?”
“Well I-”
“Was it tha-”
“Oop- sorry. You first.” Otto stuttered, letting Rosie speak.
“No no, it’s alright. Anyways, are you okay? I wanted to see if you wanted to do lunch at Blue.”
Otto winced and fidgeted with the leather coating on the steering wheel. “Well…”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think today’s a good day. Uh… we’re just extra busy.”
“Otto.”
“We’re busy, c’mon..”
“Otto Octavius.”
“Okay, okay. I’m just not feeling good. I didn’t go to work today.”
Another lie.
“See, was that so hard to say? I’ll head over with some soup.”
“No no- you can’t it’s not a go-”
The three beeps sounded, indicating Rosie hung up.
“Damnit.” Otto whispered.
-
Otto’s lower lip trembled at the thought of disappointing his parents, and worse– lying to Rosalie. He was a putrid excuse of a human for his behavior yesterday.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Norman and how he wanted to be in his grasp so badly.
Crying at the wheel on an overcast day should have been more scenic, or more poetic than this. Otto Octavius made a fool of himself for his reckless decision making. He couldn’t continue to let these childish romances influence his academics, and his job.
Getting out of the car was especially cold thanks to bitter rejection. The walk to the dorms felt longer than before as it misted outside, wetting his hair down.
When Octavius made it to the room door, Rosie came rushing down from the other side of the hall.
“Otter!” She chirped.
Otto mustered up a sad smile, fumbling with the ever-stubborn doorknob.
As the space closed between them, Rosie’s face dropped in recognition of his true expression.
“Otto… honey, are you cold? Come on, let’s get you inside.” She patted the small of his back as he opened the door for the both of them.
They made their way inside, and much to Otto’s relief, Norman wasn’t here.
‘I guess he finally went to class.’ The taller one thought to himself as Rosie muddled with his bedding on the lower bed bunk.
Rosie continued to pat at the covers until they were just so, leaving them open to Otto for his own laying pleasure. She followed after him, shifting on top of the blankets until they were both comfortable.
“You okay? You’re dressed, uh, pretty warm.” Rosalie motioned towards his turtleneck.
Otto retreated into the fabric slightly, shaking his head. “No, I’m okay. Just… cold.”
“Well, you don’t have to wear five layers now– you are under a blanket, silly.”
“No no, it’s alright. I’m fine.”
“Otto,” Rosie laid one hand down over his blanketed leg. “Why are you acting so avoidant?”
“I-” Otto gulped, looking down. “I’m just not good right now. I’ll be fine.”
An interval of silence contributed unhelpfully to the pain of one-sided lies between the two. Rosalie could only shake up the quiet in the room for so long before it became a draining bore.
“You know I like you, Geek. But you seem distant and confused, and I don’t want to get in the way if you like somebody else. I want you to be happy.” Rosie cued, hoping to kickstart a conversation.
“I like you too.” Otto mumbled.
“But you don’t love me, Otto. Why is that?” She pried. Her tone indicated care and caution.
“Rosie, I don’t know what… type I can ‘love’ yet. I’m so confused.” He admitted.
“That’s alright. You don’t need to feel pressured because of my feelings, you know. I just want you to be okay.” Rosalie insisted.
Another pause pursued, but it wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable now. Otto wasn’t writhing internally from his own guilt, and Rosie wasn’t pulling at the leash to pull Otto’s mystery apart. The room felt a little warmer, a little quieter.
“Honey, you can tell me.”
Otto sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Rosie…”
“I’m serious. Please, tell me.”
She laid a hand over his and searched his scampering irises for the truth.
“I think I like guys and girls.” He whispered.
Rosalie hesitated.
“I– Rosie, I like you. I like another person too. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to pick. I like you and want to be with you, I’ve wanted that for nearly a year now and it’s making me restless. But…”
“But?”
“But I have thoughts. I have thoughts of being with a man in bed, and I have thoughts of you and a ring. I don’t understand the cutoff. It’s so confusing. It feels unfair, and I don’t want you to think I love you less…”
Octavius continued to ramble about his feelings for five more minutes uninterrupted, letting his caged emotions take temporary flight. Rosie was sweet enough to listen, sweet enough to persist and sit beside him throughout the observed processing Otto endured. Even the room listened with intent ears, holding the dust where it floated, keeping the rays of sun in the window at bay, shushing the rattle of warmth coming through the heater beside them.
“I don’t want to choose. I want you first and foremost. There’s so much stupidity that’s built up and blocked off the words I want to say, and I don’t know how to express it without sounding like a complete fool.” Otto pinched the bridge of his wetted nose, tasting a few sparse tears running down the corners of his mouth.
Rosie rubbed circles over Otto’s upper back, staring down at his fidgeting hands as he confessed full-heartedly.
His heart shoveled punches of shame to his gut, forcing an unwanted sob out.
“Otter…”
“Rosie, I don’t want to make you upset, y- hck- you should go and find somebody e-else.” He cried, fully covering his face in discomposure.
“No honey,” Rosalie leaned into Otto’s presence and pried his hands away from his tear-stained face, “You do realize you can have both, if both parties allow it, right? This isn’t a black or white situation, my love.”
Octavius braved eye contact and glanced back up at Rosie. “What?”
“Otto, if the person you like sexually is willing to do things with you, no strings attached, then that’s fine by me. And if you want to be with me romantically, I want to be with you romantically, too. If you decide you want anything sexual between you and I, all we have to do is make sure we’re both clean.” She re-established her previous proposition, but with expanded territories this time around.
“Oh.” Otto savored the thought for a moment, furrowing his brows with consideration.
A pair of soothing hands lifted Otto’s pillowy jaw upwards into an unexpected kiss, met fondly by Otto’s broad fingers blanketing over them. The man heeled like a dog at Rosie’s movements, only to be set back down into his pit of disappointment like a hyper child. The moment was much appreciated despite its briefness.
“Rosalie, I love you.” Octavius smiled through his sniffling fit.
“I love you, Otter,” Rosie’s hands left his face, “But, if you want to ease into something with me, you have to be open with me.”
‘Not the lecture…’ Otto nodded with a sigh.
“Thank you. I hope you know I really do love you. You’re so wonderful to me, Otto, so it worried me how you’d been acting.”
“Rosie–” Otto intervened with his own potential confession, lacing his hands together at the troublesome image of telling Rosie he was fired. Rosie loved that job– if she found out, or if she found out why, she would be livid. Although he just agreed to clear communication, he would have to find a way to keep this from her.
“Nevermind.” He muttered.