"Clueless"
Friday, April 23
9:00 A.M.
“Right on time! Thanks, Uber.” Rosie opened the passenger door of Otto’s running Jeep, clambering up into the seat.
“So,” She paused, clicking her seat belt into its cuff, “Where are we headed to?”
“Ah, you’ll see. It’s a surprise.” Otto glanced over, turning beyond Rosie’s view to back out of the drive.
-
“A… grocery store? Otto, what are you doing?” Rosalie giggled, shaking her head at her lap as she unbuckled.
Otto pulled the keys from the ignition and nodded his head towards the building. “Surprise. You’ll see.”
Although confusing, Rosie followed after the man anyways. She didn’t have anything planned for the day anyways, and didn’t want to deal with her parents at home today. Calling off their visit in order to spend time with Otto seemed like a grimy move to make, but they were controlling. In all honesty, Rosie knew they only wanted financial benefits from her– as if she, a college student, had any to provide for them.
Inside of the store it was cool and the air was stale; it smelled of freshly folded cardboard and freezer-burnt popsicle boxes. It wasn’t abnormal for college students to pop in for a family pack of Ramen or some take-out Chinese food, but college students purchasing fresh produce and egg noodles seemed unorthodox to both the store and Rosie. Nevertheless, she made a beeline behind her muse, Otto, who strode feverishly through the aisles.
“Otto– slow down! Your legs are too damn long.” Rosie called, taking a light jog behind the man in order to catch up.
“Oh, sorry. I uh, we only have one more thing to get.” Otto apologized, taking Rosie’s hand in his own.
“Okay…?”
Octavius led Rosalie down a few aisles and heeled, letting go of her hand. “Wait here.”
The woman tilted her head with curiosity. What was this guy doing?
She continued to wait, watching him prance down the store aisles. After a few long minutes he returned, his arms were shielded behind his back.
Rosie nodded her head towards Otto’s side. “What’cha got there?”
“Oh- it’s just a surprise. I already checked it out in the liquor department. Here.” He handed her a small bouquet– it displayed an artfully chaotic mix of white roses, baby blue hydrangeas and speckles of lavender here and there.
“Otto–” Rosie stammered, but before she could truly thank him, he was already ushering her in front of him with the basket of ingredients into the checkout line.
“Otto.” Rosie repeated.
“Yeah?” Otto glanced over as he set the basket down and started loading items up onto the conveyor belt.
“You’re adorable.”
The dutiful man’s face twisted with pride and embarrassment at her words. “Oh.”
Rosalie and Otto spent little time in the checkout line, (mostly Otto) rushing back to the Jeep to load groceries in and leave back to his and Norman’s dorm.
-
“Norm, is it alright if we have a guest down in the kitchen tonight? Most of the guys are headed out to camp for the weekend. The rest are packing or planning.” Otto peeped his head in.
“What for?”
“It’s… a girl.” Otto sighed.
Rosie waited downstairs with the bagged groceries, steadily unbagging items one by one onto the counter to either be unwrapped or prepped. Rosie hadn’t seen this many fresh vegetables or fruits in a college dorm in a long time– if ever.
An array of coupled tomatoes bled bright reds and oranges into the scene of packaged egg noodles, flour, sugar, and other ingredients appointed for the night. A few celery stalks brushed flirtatiously against the cold-shouldered plastic wrapping around the noodles.
The young woman indulged herself in her phone, tapping away at the keypad to question where her partner in crime was.
“Otto, ETA up there? Lol.”
Before she could press send, a familiar shape flooded into her peripherals with a friendly wave.
“Oh. Hi.” Rosie greeted to not one, but two figures.
“Norman– this is Rosie,” Otto waved towards the person in question with a smile and returned to Norman’s image. “And Rosie, this is Norman.”
The newly introduced started towards each other in painfully awkward stepping segments. It took four uncertain stumbling footprints forward before their hands met to shake.
As much as Octavius was interested in the conversation, he had higher priorities, letting Rosalie and Norman Osborn make social ends meet. He had to cook– Otto was sure the two could figure things out while he did.
Julie Octavius, known for motherly generosity, lived up to her name when she sent Otto off with a mini Crockpot- it was between a three or four quart pot made for traveling occasions– picnics, potlucks… you name it. It would now come in useful for Otto to own.
Otto prepared himself with clean hands, and Rosalie and Norman dove deep into a conversation.
“So,” Rosie began, “What’s it like, y’know, being a frat kid?”
Norman slouched backwards in his chair at the table, quirking the side of his mouth at a potential answer. He could say it was getting drunk, getting high and studying at the last possible second, making “faggot” jokes. He could also lay out a sheet of lies and go with fraternity life being studious and organized, but Rosie was a bloodhound– she could sniff out Norman’s awful deceitfulness with heavy intuition if she were truly motivated.
“S’alright. Some guys drink, some are nerds like Mr. Straight-A’s over there. Nerds in Kappa Sigma are rare though.” Norman decidedly jabbed a thumb in Otto’s direction, letting out a half-assed laugh.
Otto hummed a dreamy David Bowie tune to himself, completely unaware of the conversation behind him. He continued to chop at the celery therapeutically.
“Ah, and the shit-faced loser wants to insult the kid working for his earn?” Rosie argued. Her tone was lighthearted and playful, but the indication went unnoticed in her face.
Osborn paused. ‘Wow. No wonder Otto likes her.’
‘This really has to be the guy Geek wants to screw?’ Rosie shook her head.
“Well… at least this fire fights fire. No fun trying to toy with that one over there.” Norman sighed back, examining Rosie’s entertainment.
“Oh, trust me,” She started enthusiastically, “He is so thick-skulled for being so smart.”
The two shared a giggle containing mutual frustration for the man, even sharing a glance or two over at the man in unison.
-
“The soup’s cooking, but it’ll be another half hour. I made lemonade though, sounds okay?” Otto appeared at the table-side where Rosie and Norman sat, injecting himself into a quiet place between their many conversations.
“Yeah!” Rosie chirped.
“Mhmm.” Norman nodded.
Norman nudged a chair from the table for Otto to sit. His invitation was taken quickly, along with three glasses of lemonade.
“So, I see you guys aren’t throwing utensils. That’s good.” Otto offered Rosie more ice from the pitcher.
“Yes, and we even shook hands.” Rosalie laid a hand across her chest in a dramatic motion, earning another laugh from the men around her.
“I am curious Otto, why’d you think to introduce us? I mean, I get it now, but I’m a frat guy. Aren’t you guys supposed to be like… cats and dogs with me?” Norman asked them, letting a little insecurity show.
“Well, I mean, Otto wanted me here so we could all be on the same terms, right?” She turned her head towards Octavius, hoping for a follow-up of reassurance.
“Well, yes, but–”
“It’s alright, I got it.”
Rosie laid a hand on top of Otto’s and gave it a few pats before turning towards Norman. He looked embarrassed.
‘Oh lord. We’ve got two bottoms here? I guess I have to start.’ Rosalie thought to herself with a painfully long exhale.
“So Otto, this is the boy you’re doing ‘friends with benefits’ with, right?”
Otto choked on his drink and slammed the drink down on the table. Norman spat out a short stream of lemonade and gawked at the man sitting diagonally from him.
“P-Pardon, what?” Norman sputtered.
This was going to take a lot of explaining.