Chapter 20
One month later:
After Peter’s first emergency therapy visit with Dr. Wheeler, they set up a schedule where he needed to see him at least three times a week but they aimed for four. Peter was slowly getting better by the day even though it was tough as hell. There was a lot of crying and fighting but the threat of going inpatient was always in the forefront of his mind so that kept him in check. Plus, he wanted to show his father that he could do it and taking him home that day was the right decision. He didn’t want to mess up and have him regret that he believed him in which would have been worse.
He’s eating normally again after struggling through each meal until it wasn’t a struggle anymore and he actually wanted to eat. His appetite came back threefold because of his metabolism and he had almost gained all his weight back that he lost which made him feel stronger physically and mentally. He’s taking his antidepressants on his own without his parent’s supervision. But the important part is that he wants to take them which is a completely different feeling he had a couple months ago when he felt he didn’t deserve to feel better. He hasn’t self-harmed once, even though he had to admit the urge is there most of the time but it’s thankfully waning. Wearing the watch combined with Friday monitoring his every move really made him think twice about acting on his urges so he had to give credit to his father because it worked like a charm.
With the threat of inpatient looming over him 24/7, it was great motivation to try his hardest. In the beginning, if he was struggling through a meal, his parents would encourage him and if that didn’t do the trick, Tony would blurt out through a pretend cough, “impatient” and that would be all he needed. What it also did was confirm how serious his parents were about their promise taking him back if he didn’t try to get better.
The one thing that baffles him is how fast he relapsed from the stress of being blackmailed and how hard it was to overcome. He discussed this with Dr. Wheeler and he always gave him the same answer. “Mental illness is a tricky fucker,” he’d say which made him smile every time he said it because this is coming from someone who doesn’t swear.
The best outcome out of everything he went through is that he regained the trust of his parents back with one slow progressive step at a time and made them proud. He saw it in their expressions whenever they looked at him and it made him feel good about himself again. Their worry lines from the stress he was causing them were fading and were now replaced with relaxed smiles.
xXx
Another hard struggle was deciding if he wanted to go back to school. In the beginning, he had tough conversations with his parents and therapist about it, especially during family sessions. He was conflicted because he didn’t want to go back - yet he didn’t want to be homeschooled either. They said it was his choice but either way he had to continue with education somehow/somewhere and not drop out.
Since he was already missing school from being in treatment, his parents decided to let him stay home for two more weeks while he recovered and attended therapy. The teachers were told he was struggling with personal problems (without detailed explanations) and was going to therapy so he got excused from school. His homework assignments were emailed to him which he completed and he actually looked forward to it because it kept him busy and distracted. Being home all day with nothing to do drove him insane most days. It was such a relief to be doing his own homework instead of his and Flash’s and it brought his focus back. He was worried he would fall behind but his teachers assured him that as long as he handed in his assignments and kept up his grades there wouldn’t be any problems.
Peter thought about it long and hard, so much it was starting to stress him out which wasn’t helping his situation. Going back to school meant interacting with all the other kids again, the same ones that laughed at him every day. He knew to some of them he became a target for bullying after what Flash did to him because he never fought back or defended himself. He didn’t know if he was strong enough to go back there to face everyone again. And the thought of entering the cafeteria where he was ridiculed the most gave him stomachaches because of the humiliation he endured.
After talking to Tony about his concerns, his dad told him, “Well, if you do decide to go back, you have my permission to stick up for yourself – to a certain degree – meaning no physical fighting and getting yourself expelled. But I want you to defend yourself, ok?”
On the flip side, it would be good to see Ned and MJ again and try to get his life back to normal. He couldn’t avoid school, his friends or life forever. After he broke up with MJ, they were distant for a while but they started texting a little bit here and there and even talked on the phone with each other. They were becoming friends again and that felt good because he missed her. He didn’t want to start anything up again, especially right now because he’s - in his irrational mind ‘still broken’, but at least they were on good terms with each other so it wouldn’t be too awkward to see her in school.
After many lengthy discussions with his parents and therapist over the past two weeks, time was up. He decided he wanted to try to go to school again so they came up with a plan and tried to address all his concerns to help him in every way possible to succeed.
They needed to figure out what to do with the biggest problem – the cafeteria. He couldn’t skip lunch so they came up with a plan that the school accepted. Peter was going to be allowed to go to the library during lunch period. He would bring a bagged lunch since he didn’t want to even step foot in that cafeteria. He knew if he did, he would suffer a panic attack because just thinking about it gave him breathing difficulties. His therapist said it was a symptom of PTSD. In the meantime, they were trying to coax the school into letting Ned and/or MJ accompany him so he wasn’t alone everyday but that was still up in the air. He was so relieved they found a way for him to avoid the cafeteria.
The school would also arrange it with the teachers that if Peter was in class and felt a panic attack coming on or had any other issues, he had permission to leave the classroom at any time to go straight to the nurse’s office with no questions asked. He also finally found out that Tony did hire that new nurse just for him and he couldn’t be more thankful. The last time he was in her office because of a panic attack she knew exactly how to treat him so now he won’t hesitate to go see her if that happens again.
xXx
He was nervous as hell the first day going back, even more so than the first day of school and he was a wreck. Tony strongly suggested he take an anti-anxiety pill before he left each morning which he agreed to even though it made him tired. But they worked so he’d rather be tired than suffer all day long.
He got more comfortable as each day passed. Some days were tougher than others, especially when some of Flash’s friends would get rough with him but this time he spoke up and defended himself. He’s hoping one day they will get bored of him and leave him alone. He did have a couple small panic attacks and went straight to the nurse’s office like he was supposed to. It was weird eating in the library but it felt safe. Who knows, maybe in a couple months he’d have the courage to go back and eat in the cafeteria but that was a long way off. He was just thankful for the school to accommodate his issues like they did so he could get through the day. He also saw the school counselor a couple times a week which helped get him through some tough days.
~~~~~~~~~~xXx~~~~~~~~~~
It was now the middle of December and he was excited that Christmas was coming up. He’s been back at school for a month. It was a very rough start but he’s been pushing through it. Everyday gets a bit easier and easier so he’s glad he decided to go back to school.
He’s even started patrolling again! He wanted to get back to being Spider-man because it gave him purpose. It made him feel better about himself. It canceled out the worthlessness he felt sometimes. He promised his parents that he’d only take on ‘light’ crimes and nothing heavy for now so he stuck with being the friendly neighborhood Spider-man. It did wonders for his self-confidence and he was feeling better each day.
On one particularly cold evening, he was sticking to the side of the building looking around for any signs of trouble when his Spidey sense started tingling. It only went off that particular way if Flash was around so he had no idea what was causing it. He tried to shake it off when he noticed someone that looked familiar approaching along the sidewalk below. Shit, it was him! It was Flash! He was thinner and he had what looked like blond hair poking out of his beanie but it was definitely him! Suddenly Peter became outraged because he should be in juvie and not walking around free!
He needed to talk to him, he wanted answers! “Karen, can this suit disguise my voice that’s NOT the interrogation mode?” He only used that once and it was so embarrassing he’d never use it again.
“Yes Peter. I have the ability to make your voice a couple octaves lower so it’s unrecognizable. Would you like to use it?” Karen asked.
“Yes, do it now. I need to talk to someone and he can’t know it’s me!”
“You got it. Activating voice disguise.”
“Testing, one two three…” Peter said trying it out and he was amazed on how low his voice sounded. “Perfect, thanks Karen.”
As Flash walked closer, he jumped down right in front of him and scared the shit out of him. “Ahhhh!” he screamed and then after the initial shock wore off he realized who it was. “S-spider-man? God, you scared the crap out of me! Where the hell did you come from?” he asked looking up at the building.
Peter had to remember he wasn’t “Peter” but Spider-man so he had to try his hardest not to give himself away. “I need to talk to you, Flash,” he said with that deep voice and standing there with his arms crossed.
“W-wait, you know my name? Spider-man knows my name? How do you know me?” he asked gushing and it was making Peter sick to his stomach.
Peter always felt more confident behind the mask so he was going to get right to the point and ask him all the things he wished he could as Peter Parker.
“I know Peter Parker and everything you did to him. How did you get out of juvie? Answer me, now!” he demanded, trying to sound intimidating.
Flash looked confused and scrunched his eyebrows. “Peter Parker? You actually know him? Man, I thought he was making that up this whole time!”
Peter shook his head and sighed because he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “Think about it. This whole thing started because you found out Tony Stark adopted Peter. They live in the Avenger’s Tower... And since he’s Iron Man he obviously knows Spider-man, therefore Peter would know him…” he said almost teasing him trying to make him solve his own stupid puzzle.
It took Flash an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure it out. “Oh. Gotcha. So obviously Peter knows Spider-man then.”
“More than knows, let’s just say Peter and I are VERY close friends and he tells me everything. Now, answer my question,” he demanded again.
Flash did look intimidated and he started stuttering which made Peter smile behind the mask. “H-how much do you know….”
“I said I know everything you did to him you asshole. Now spill. How did you get out?”
Suddenly Flash turned into this arrogant smug dick and his entire demeaner changed, so pretty much back to the Flash he knew. “My family is rich and my dad’s a lawyer so he knows his way around the legal system. Since I wasn’t the one who actually threw the rock that knocked him out or the one who physically gave him the drugs, I got out on a plea deal. I’m under eighteen and it was my first offense. I’m on a two-year probation. What’s it to you anyways?”
Peter was getting pissed that he was so nonchalant about it! “As I said, Peter is a close friend of mine and I care about what happens to him. He told me everything, Flash. What you did was wrong! You know blackmail is a crime, they should have held you on that alone.” Peter had no clue if that was true or not but he hoped it was.
Flash had the audacity to shrug. “Like I said, my family has money and Peter got what he deserved.”
Peter tried to hold in a gasp. What the hell did that mean? “Excuse me? Why do you think Peter deserved to be blackmailed into humiliating himself, hurt and drugged? What did he ever do to you? He’s a nice kid that minds his own business.”
“I just don’t like him, ok? Isn’t that enough?” Flash admitted. For some reason even though he hated Flash right back, it still stung hearing him say that.
Peter was becoming defensive now. “Oh, he knows you don’t like him, that’s blatantly clear but the question is why? As far as I know he has never done anything to you to deserve the way you treat him.”
Flash crossed his arms over his chest. “How do you do you know he doesn’t deserve it?” he bit back.
“Because as I said multiple times already, I’m his close friend and I know him. He is a good person and has never done anything to you. So why do you hate him so much?”
“He doesn’t have to do anything, that’s the point! He’s just one of those people that I can’t stand, you know? There doesn’t have to be a reason, it’s just a vibe I get from him. I just hate him. He’s pathetic and weak and everyone always fawns all over him because he’s an orphan. He gets so much attention it bothers the shit out of me! He walks around like he’s king shit with his perfect grades and he thinks he’s so special.”
Ahhh, so there it was. Finally, the truth! He sounded almost jealous? He had to hide a laugh because everything he said about him was so false. “So let me get this straight. You hate Peter because people treat him with a little more kindness because his parents, uncle and aunt died? Do you know how pathetic that makes you sound? Maybe he deserves a little more kindness since he’s had such a shitty hand dealt to him all his life, ever think of that? He wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth. And what you’re talking about is called pity, Flash. It isn’t anything to be jealous of.”
He knew what Flash was talking about though. He knows people tend to be kinder and more attentive to him because he’s an orphan. He’s had to deal with it most of his life but he also knows a lot of stems from pity which he hates. But he’s nothing but polite and appreciative and never takes advantage of it.
“Call it whatever you want, the loser thinks he’s special and he’s not so I take him down a notch.”
“So bullying someone smaller than you makes you feel like a big man, does it? Well Peter’s not the pathetic one, you are. Peter’s not the weak one, you are,” he said poking at Flash’s chest. He could tell Flash was getting nervous and he didn’t mean to get physical even if it was just a poke but he was getting angry. He had to hold back because one of his pokes could cause him to go flying on his ass. “Peter’s the strongest person I know because you wouldn’t be able deal with half the shit he’s dealt with. He’s known more loss in his short life than you’ll probably ever know your entire lifetime.”
Flash stood his ground but he could tell he was trying not to be intimidated but failing miserably. “I’m allowed not to like someone you know. What gives you the right to lecture me on Peter anyways? What are you his personal bodyguard or something?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. If I catch you anywhere near him again there will be consequences. You have me, Iron Man and all the Avengers looking out for Peter because they know what a good person he is, unlike you. Better watch your back from now on,” Spider-man threatened and he didn’t even feel bad about it. He was glad he’ll have Flash looking over his shoulder from now on.
“Is that a threat?” Flash questioned with a high voice.
“No, it’s a promise!” He wanted to have the last word so he shot a web up and swung himself away leaving Flash standing there with his mouth hanging open.
Peter was too upset to keep patrolling so he swung home. He had to talk to Tony about what just happened. When he got home, he changed and went to the lab where his father was tinkering with an Iron Man suit.
xXx
Tony was sitting in the lab making some upgrades to his latest suit when he heard the door swish open and knew it was Peter. “Hey, kiddo. How was patrol tonight?” Tony asked. When he finally looked up and saw how uptight he was he put his soldering tool down. “Hey, what happened? You ok? Did you get hurt?” Tony looked him up and down but didn’t see any physical injuries which knowing Peter doesn’t mean he wasn’t hiding any.
Peter shook his head. “No, nothing like that but I need to talk to you,” he said as he pulled up a stool and sat next to his father.
Tony turned and gave him his full attention with a pit in his stomach. “Ok, what’s up? This looks serious.”
“I bumped into Flash tonight,” Peter blurted out and then he paused for a moment just staring at him. Shit. Tony figured he must have seen the shock on his face and couldn’t hide the fact that he knew but didn’t tell him. “Yea, so um, how come you didn’t tell me he was out? We had a bit of a chat actually, well, Spider-man did, not “Peter Parker”,” he said using air quotes.
Tony sucked in a breath. He didn’t know he’d find out this soon! Fuck! When he was told Flash was getting out of juvie, he did everything he could to keep him locked up but there was no use. He hated failing his son. That was one of the reasons why he didn’t tell him – it was because he couldn’t.
“Oh shit. I’m so sorry you had to find out on your own. I was trying to find the right time to tell you. I found out a couple days ago and these past two days have been crazy busy for us at SI with the end of the year budget meetings and...”
“Save it.” Peter bit back and cut him off. He got up off his stool and was about to walk away but Tony grabbed his arm to stop him.
“Hey, don’t walk away from me. We’re not done talking,” Tony said in his father voice.
“We’re done if that’s all your going to do is sit there and give me stupid excuses.”
“Watch the attitude young man. Take a seat,” he said sternly. Tony was avoiding this conversation but owed it to Peter. Hell, he should have sucked it up and told him as soon as his lawyers told him the bad news.
Peter took a seat in a huff and crossed his arms and was giving him a stony look. The anger that was radiating off of Peter was warranted. He knew he messed up and hated he found out this way. By bumping into Flash himself!
He took a deep breath and let it out. He made sure Peter was looking him in the eye and not avoiding him. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you as soon as we found out but there is a good reason. You’re doing so well with your recovery we didn’t want this to ruin anything for you and slip back again. Since it was that asshole Flash that caused you to spiral this time, we just wanted to make sure you were stable enough to hear the news.” He studied Peter’s face and saw hurt in his eyes. Shit, this is why he was procrastinating.
Peter got up from the stool but didn’t walk away. “I knew it was because you guys think I couldn’t handle it. I’m not fragile! I know you guys think I am but I’m not. Yes, I have depression and mental health issues but I’m in a good place right now and you know that. Did it ever occur to you that me finding out this way might be more harmful?”
Fuck. No that didn’t cross his mind. “Pete, I know you’re in a good place right now and I can’t be any prouder of you for putting in all that hard work to get here. So yes, I admit it. I was afraid this would set you back if you found out. I didn’t want this to interrupt your progress so we did it for your own good. I’m sorry, I really am. Please don’t be mad at me, at us.”
Peter sat back on the stool and played with his hands on his lap. He was quiet for a little while and finally he spoke up. The anticipation was driving him nuts. He didn’t want this – want Flash – to cause a wedge between them because everything was going so well.
Peter sighed and wiped away a tear that he was trying to hide. “Look, it hurt that you didn’t think I was ready to hear something like this but I guess I can see why. I know I’m unpredictable when it comes to what sets me off and what doesn’t because I don’t even know! I’m still learning all that stuff about me in therapy. You know, my triggers and shit. I know you were only looking out for my well being but it felt like a sucker punch to the gut when I saw him on the street. You should have told me regardless because he was out there.”
Tony was awestruck on Peter’s reply. He sounded so grown up which made him feel even shittier for not telling him. “You’re right. You’re right, Pete. I believed in you enough to break you out of the treatment center and I should have had faith in you again that you could have handled this sort of news. I can’t apologize enough, kiddo. The last thing I want is for you to be mad at me.”
Peter suddenly got up and Tony thought he was leaving again but instead he walked over and threw his arms around him. It was an unexpected hug and he felt like he was forgiven. “So does this mean we’re good?” Tony asked.
Peter pulled away and wiped another tear. “Yea, we’re ok. I’m not that mad anymore. I know you did it because you love me. You just need to learn not to baby me so much, ok? I deserve the truth, even if you think I can’t handle it. I just need some time to process this but I’ll get over it.”
Tony felt relieved, so relieved he stood up and hugged Peter again and kissed him on the forehead. “You know how much I love and care about you. I know you can feel it and this wasn’t done to be malicious in any way. But thank you so much for understanding. You’re becoming a mature young man right before my eyes. And again, we’re so sorry we kept it from you. Lesson learned.” Peter stood there with his cheeks a little pink because Tony knows he hates compliments and he was getting a little mushy.
They heard Friday announce that dinner was ready so they both started walking towards the elevator. Tony had his arm around Peter and when they got in, Peter put his head on his shoulder and sort of melted into him. He knew from their soul bond that they were going to be okay.
God he loved this kid.
THE END