Chapter 3
Yougotsomeballsson
Firefly: Just a question
Firefly: Does anyone know how to defuse a bomb?
Morax 2.0: What kind of question is that!?
Firefly: I found a bomb in my room
NoMora(x): WHAT
NoMora(x): GET OUT OF THERE AND CALL THE MILLETHS!
Firefly: My door is locked
Firefly: It only unlocks from the outside.
LeaveBlower: Okay, stay calm
Firefly: Don't worry I am very calm
NoMora(x): If that thing goes off, it could kill you!
Firefly: Don't worry there is just 3 minutes left
Firefly: I'll just search up a tutorial on how to defuse a bomb
Morax 2.0: Not all bombs are the same
Firefly: What?
Morax 2.0: Not all bombs are gonna be wired the same. So a tutorial is useless
Firefly: Crap
NoMora(x): WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU INDARIAS LAPIS!?
Firefly: 3579 Golf Course Drive
Fourarms: What kind of address is that?
Firefly: It's what's on the paper
I'mblue: Wait, 3579 Golf Course Drive isn't even in Liyue
I'mblue: The address is in Mondstadt
BennyBoy: And that address is where retired people go to golf
Firefly: 30 seconds y'all
Emobottom: It's almost my birthday and I'm losing a sibling
Firefly: Don't worry Xiao, I'll be there in spirit
Firefly: 8 seconds
Fourarms: 🪦
NoMora(x) has left the chat
Russianguy: I'mma go cheer him up.
Russianguy has left the chat
Emobottom: I need time
Emobottom has left the chat
Fourarms: Oh my god
Thehottertwin: Wait so she really died?
Boba: My condolences
Theevenhottertwin: Are you two okay?
Fourarms: Yeah I'm good
I'mblue: I just lost a sister figure.
I'mblue: How could I be okay
Firefly: And just lost a chance at an ID
I'mblue: Wait
I'mblue: YOURE STILL AVILE
Firefly: Yeah
I'mblue: @Emobottom @NoMora(x) @Russianguy GET YOUR ASSES BACK ONLINE
Russianguy has joined the chat
Emobottom has joined the chat
Emobottom: What the fuck is wrong with you
NoMora(x) has joined the chat
NoMora(x): Why'd you do that?
NoMora(x): I'm not happy right now
Firefly: Sorry, I was training to become a secret agent!
Emobottom: …
Emobottom: Are you fucking stupid or smth?
Firefly: What
Morax 2.0: You can't defuse a bomb so you decide to text us?
Firefly: Oh no, I finished that trial a while ago. I gotta come back for that.
Nomom: Go find something better to roleplay
Firefly: Go find your mom first
Nomom: Go find your real parents
Deepfriedbitch: I noticed on how whenever somebody bring up the fact about his dead beat mother, Scara gets all defensive
Nomom: Stfu you bottom
Deepfriedbitch: I'mma bad bitch bottom at that
JitTrippin: I'm at McDonald's. What y'all want?
Firefly: A happy meal!
TheScribe: Aren't you too old for those?
Firefly: It's the only thing that makes the world go round.
Ragnvindr: I'm bout to kill myself.
Frostbite: Send a selfie while you bleed out bestie!
RoséWine: Tf is wrong with you?
Frostbite: A lot of things apparently 🙃
Cy-noYu-no: Are you okay dude?
Frostbite: Yep 🫠
Cy-noYu-no: I know a good therapist
TreeFucker: No
Cy-noYu-no: Wah
TreeFucker: No Cyno
NoMora(x): I believe it'd be the best for you
Frostbite: Shut it grandpa
NoMora(x): Hey, I am only 28.
Deadbitch: Didn't you say you were in your early 50's?
NoMora(x): I did. I just wasn't sure if I could trust complete strangers just yet.
Boba: I mean none of us has cyberbullied anyone at all.
Cy-noYu-no: What you mean about none of us?
Fanfic: What? 😨
TreeFucker: He cyberbullied some kid online since he lost a game of online Genius Invokation TCG.
Barbard: Genius what now?
TheScribe: It's a very annoying game played in Sumeru.
Barbard: What game genre is it in?
TheScribe: Cards.
Barbard: Ah, okay
Barbard: May the Anemo Archon protect you
RoséWine: Hail Barsibato
Barbard: What the fuck?
Frostbite: She doesn't know how to pronounced Barbatos
Barbard has left the chat
Emobottom: Lol
Thehottertwin: Damn that was too funny
Russianguy: Guys I got something to ask
NoMora(x): What is it?
Russianguy: What do I do if I accidentally pissed off some asian mother?
JitTrippin: There's nothing you can do
Russianguy: Huh?
JitTrippin: Actually how far can you run?
Russianguy: I ran from Snezhnaya to Liyue to propose to my sweetheart 🥰
NoMora(x): ❤️
JitTrippin: Tmi but just run across the border, they'll stop chasing you
Russianguy: ?
Emobottom: Mothers in Liyue swore they wouldn't cross the Liyue
Russianguy: Great brb
Russianguy hasleft the chat
Oni: Okay is there ANY sales on 6reeze merch?
Nomom: Yeah, from $9000 to $8999
Boba: I think you forgot the small dot thing in between …
Nomom: No 9,000 to 8,999
Fryingpan: Why is it so expensive!?
Nomom: Gotta make cash some way
Boba: Don't views make you money?
Nomom: Yeah, but a little extra cash wouldn't hurt anyone.
Oni: It's hurting my bank account
Nomom: So?
Nomom: Not my fault you're booty broke
Oni: I may as well go support Nilou
Nomom: That Shakira wannabe?
Cy-noYu-no: Wuh-
Thehottertwin: Aether's dying for laughter 💀
Theevenhottertwin: I am deceased 🪦
Casket: What size?
NoMora(x): Hu Tao
Casket: Aw
Firefly: Nah- 🤣
Deepfriedbitch: Why was that so funny?
Nomom: I should go quit 6reeze and be comedian
TheScribe: Yeah go to the comedy club and tell people how your mom gave birth to a joke
Nomom: Ain't your grandma dead?
Theblondie: Yo
TheScribe: Now where is my contact list at.
Nomom: Tf she gonna do? She's barely even 18
Deadbitch: Um… How old is this so called "mom"?
Nomom: Idk
Nomom: 7
Boba: 😨
Longname: In Mondstatd a 7 year old doesn't even have rights. Let alone be a parent to a grown man
Morax 2.0: We don't let people under the age 20 to be a parent so they don't have the rights to know the child until of age.
Dog: We don't even have rights in Inazuma. You'd have to bring it up with one of the Tri-Commissons or the Shogun herself.
Boba: Not the Yashiro commission tho. They got nothing to do with children.
Emobottom: Lucky I don't live in that nation
Oni: I bet it's nice to be able to walk outside and not fear being arrested.
Emobottom: It is.
Oni: I've been arrested more than 20 times
Ragnvindr: What the fuck
Jeanny: What did you do?
Oni: Exist? I don't know.
Oni: The chiefs daughter really hates me tho
Dog: That's because your in a gang.
JitTrippin: A gang!?
Oni: Yeah
Oni: I'm the gang leader
Ragnvindr: What the fuck
Firefly: Random question, what do I do if I mix soap and tea together then chug it?
NoMora(x): Don't tell me
Firefly: 🙃
Morax 2.0: Go to the hospital stupid!
Firefly: Yeah I'm in the ambulance now
Casket: Hey @Russianguy my money was stolen again!
Russianguy: By who?
Casket: @Fatui.zhnaya.Co
Russianguy: Oh that's us
Casket: Give me my money back!
Russianguy: You'll get all your money back soon, chile
Casket: Why not just get the money that was stolen the first time?
Russianguy: We need to know how you were rob, broke ass
Casket: EXCUSE ME!?
Russianguy: -$7215 in your bank account
Deadbitch: Nah 🤣
Fourarms: I can't name anyone else in that much debt
NoMora(x): I hope you can't
Fourarms has left the chat
Russianguy: Anyways we're almost there.
Casket: How close?
Russianguy: We tracked the IP to Inazuma.
Boba: Uh oh, someone's in trouble.
Thomabi: Don't you have a meeting?
Boba: It can wait
Boba: The drama is getting good
Thomabi has left the chat
Boba: Wait, I'm going!
Boba has left the chat
BustyLightning: Boba seem to be afraid of Thomabi
Deadbitch: Thomabi is a retainer of the Yashiro Commission.
Deadbitch: He's both my servant but mostly my friend.
Lostboy: Free mah boi @Thomabi
Lostboy: Who do you think you are?
Deadbitch: Kamisato Ayaka
Deadbitch: That's who I am
Oni: Oh mah archons
Oni: I got you arrested once didn't I?
Deadbitch: Who are you?
Oni: Arataki Itto
Oni: Thomas friend
Deadbitch: Oh my archons
Deadbitch: You bitch
Deadbitch: My brother almost had my head because of y o u
(A/N: That "y o u" was a spelling mistake but it looked better)
Theevenhottertwin: The way you spaced that is creeping me out
Barbard has joined the chat
Barbard: Wtf did I just witness?
Ragnvindr: I asked myself that everyday
Barbard: No becuz I just witnessed some guy get ran over
Jeanny: Is he hurt!?
Barbard: Yeah no shit
Barbard: He's fucking bleeding out
Barbard: Oh wait he got up
Barbard: And now he's walking off
Barbard: This dude walking like he didn't just get ran over
Emobottom: Where in the actual fuck are you right now?
Barbard: Mondstatd
Emobottom: Did you just finish drinking?
Barbard:Yeah, how'd you know
Emobottom: Venti, it was you that got ran over
Barbard: How would you know
Emobottom:You dragged both me, Aether and Lumine with you
Barbard: Oh right
Barbard: I should go the hospital
NoMora(x): Yes you should
Barbard: Okay
Barbard has left the chat
Emobottom: Guess we gotta go with him
Emobottom has left the chat
PThehottertwin has left the chat
Theevenhottertwin has left the chat
Bennyboy: I gotta go bleach my eyes now.
BustyLightning: I'll come with some food.
Bennyboy: That would be nice
Bennyboy has left the chat
BustyLightning has left the chat
PingRing: It's concerning on how many people just went to the hospital
JitTrippin: Where have you been?
PingRing: I'm legit the manager of an Idol group. Lots of paperwork to do.
Russianguy: Tell me about it
Russianguy: Being in the Fatui isn't easy. Especially if you are the 11th harbinger.
NoMora(x): It get worse when you neglect it for so long
NoMora(x): Like a certain someone I know
Casket: I'm young
Casket: Let me live my life Mr. Zhongli
NoMora(x): You're also the director of a funeral parlor.
Casket: What's with you old people and ruining my fun?
Seen at 6:18
Barbatos is watching you from your closet