The Blacksmith

Sauron. The name reverberated in your skull as its meaning sunk in. You didn't understand, you didn't believe it. How could Halbrand be anything other than what you knew him to be? How could he conceal this identity so cleverly and so well as to fool not only you, but Míriel, Elendil, Elrond, Celebrimbor, and most heartbreakingly, Galadriel? This seemed too great a leap to make, for the darkness within him to be not only his true form, but almost the embodiment, the personification of darkness itself. Dear sweet Halbrand with the hazel eyes, a blacksmith, a king. The Dark Lord. He wasn't leading you to Sauron. He was Sauron.

Then suddenly it all made sense. The dreams. Your nightmares. Your visions of ruling over black lands and skies. Of fire, of torment, of power. They were premonitions. Visions of the future, of what would come to pass. You had guessed that might have been the case after the eruption of the mountain near Tirharad, but now you had confirmation. And he was walking away from you.

"Where are you going?"
"We must leave Eregion. Now." he spoke coldly.
"Halbrand!" you called out to him, following his fast steps. Halbrand. You didn't even know if you should call him that anymore. It was the name of your love, your soul mate, your kindred spirit. You loved the way it sounded, especially with your voice, and more so when you screamed it from his bed. Sauron. You were in love with Sauron. Your mind was beginning to become lost in confusion over what to think and what to feel. Everything was becoming tangled and mixed up. No wonder your dark side was winning, you were under the thrall of evil.

You caught up to him then, but he did not stop. Making for your chamber first, he commanded you to pack what you might need for the journey ahead. Then you followed him to what would have been his chamber if you had stayed, and he filled up a bag for himself. You noticed him fold up a particular black cloak, and recognised it instantly as the one from your visions. The anxiety rose within you, adrenaline pumping. As the two of you made for the stables, stealing two black steeds, you knew you need not ask where you were headed. For you had already seen it.

The ride back to the land now shrouded in shadow would likely be much longer than six days, considering neither of you were on the verge of death this time. Yet still Sauron rode fast, your horse struggling to keep up. You kept calling out to him every so often, trying to get him to stop, to talk, but he would not have it. You could have ridden away from him at anytime, he was not preventing you from doing so. However the time for abandonment had long since passed. You were in too deep now, his claws within you, eroding your spirit, until nothing remained but your love for him. He was your life now. For better or for worse.

As the first nightfall on your journey approached, Sauron slowed his steed to a halt at the edge of a forest. He was bathed in the last light of the day, the burnt colours in the sky very fitting to be consuming him now. Your horse slowly trotted up to where he was, and you waited. Tying up the reins nearby, he wandered underneath the branches of a tree whose leaves were thick enough to provide shelter from above. "Come, my love." he finally called out to you, and you did as he asked, securing your horse next to his, before slowly moving closer to where he stood.

"Why did we leave so suddenly? What of Galadriel? And your work with Celebrimbor?" You had so many questions, and those three were just the beginning. "Sit with me." he spoke, and attempted to clasp your hand. To your surprise, you flinched and moved yourself out of his reach. Your body wasn't ready for him. You weren't ready for him. Sauron sat down anyway, sitting up straight against the tree trunk, his long legs stretched out before you. Staring at him from above, you waited intently for him to finally speak. "My work with Celebrimbor was completed. I had taught him everything he needed to know to forge the rings."
"Taught?"
Sauron laughed, amused. "Celebrimbor is a great smith... but I am greater."
"And what of Galadriel? What did you do to her!?" Your raised voice accentuating your second question, the fear for her wellbeing coming out. Surely he could not have killed her? You knew his power was great but no... surely not. Sauron closed his eyes, and dropped his head, a look of sorrow upon his face. He sighed. "Galadriel is alive."

You almost screamed with joy upon hearing this, as you did not wish for her to die, despite whatever urges to the contrary you experienced only hours ago. Your love still had his eyes closed, but he sensed your feelings, as he did not continue until he knew your emotions had subsided, letting you have a moment of bliss, of relief. "She deduced my identity before I could reveal it to her. And despite my best efforts to sway her, keep her by my side... she rejected me. Us. I let her think me the evil I am." In his voice was contained nothing but heartache. You knew then his mournful visage was not because she was still alive. It was because he lost her.

Remembering your own heartache over Galadriel, it was then you decided to take your place on the ground beside him. "My last meeting with her... also did not go well."
"How so?" he inquired.
"I rose my voice at her... pushed her against a wall. She had already figured out that you were not heir to the Southlands throne. And I refused to even consider she might be right. I should have known better." Your words snapped yourself out of whatever sympathetic reverie you were having, and you moved yourself away from Sauron, crawling until you were leaning up against a another tree that stood a few metres away.

"You needn't be frightened of me." he spoke calmly.
"Frightened isn't exactly what I'm feeling right now." you corrected him, the anger in you rising. "How dare you lie to me! How could you not tell me who you really were? All this time! I gave myself to you, body and soul. I love you for pity's sake! Why!?" The tears had begun to fall whilst you screamed across at him. "You were never in any mortal danger, were you?" Your shock echoed in your tone as more things were beginning to become clear.
Sauron snickered, admitting nothing, but you knew. "I... but I saw the wound... the blood... your fever... your unconscious state. You deceived us? Deceived me?"
"It was the only way to guarantee entrance to the realm of the elven smiths. The only way without seeming... suspicious."

"Once I am healed... you said. I knew there was something I was not seeing! Don't you know how scared I was for you?! That not only once, but twice, I had to process the thought of you leaving this world, of you leaving me... how could you make me feel this way? I was grieving you!" You bellowed your words bitterly at him, not caring for the consequences. Sauron did not flinch, letting each of your words strike him willingly. "Two people died because of me! A-and you convinced me it was the right choice! That I was serving my king. I had no right to take their lives."

You almost couldn't believe the words you were saying. You thought for certain that the darkness in you had all but extinguished the light. But now that the veil between the lies and the truth had been pulled back, you suddenly realised what kind of hold he had on you. And that now that you knew who he really was, you could feel the light returning. Sauron's eyes darkened as he watched you begin to slip away from him.

"I should have stayed with my father... then they would still be alive. If he knew what I had become-"
"He knows nothing but oblivion." interjected the dark lord.
Your eyes went wide. "What... what do you mean?" Asking him a question you already knew the answer to. Sauron smiled at you briefly, before looking upon you with concern. "I couldn't have him in this world... not when he caused you such pain."
"You killed him?"
"For you, my love. Just as you have since done for me."

You felt yourself grow lightheaded at his words, your eyes fading to a blackness, then when it cleared, you were back in Númenor, back in the home of your father. Looking down, you noticed you were wearing the same dress from the night you said goodbye to him. Gazing out the window, you saw dawn beginning to bring the world back to light. Movement in the room caught your eye, and you glanced over at where your father lay, turning in his sleep, once again in that chair. This time his ale had spilt down his very worn and already stained beige tunic. The image of a man who had suffered much, and many who had suffered him.

The door opened behind you and through it walked Halbrand. Sauron, wearing a cloak so black that no light shone upon it. He slowly crept into the room, looking straight at you. Somehow, he saw you, even though you weren't truly there. Your eyes followed his as he wandered around where you stood, moving closer to your father. He turned his back to you then, and you noticed the dagger in his right hand. It was the very same dagger you had taken from Halbrand's chamber in the palace. The one you had used to kill.

Sauron gripped your father by the throat with his left hand, lifting him into the air with ease, like a pig ready for slaughter. This promptly startled him awake, and he would have bellowed in terror if his windpipe wasn't so constricted. You stood there and watched as he wriggled and writhed, his hands struggling to pry himself free from his captor, his eyes containing a fear in them like you had never seen. Your father couldn't breathe, and despite you not minding at first that he was hurting, you were beginning to find it difficult to witness. Not wishing him any further anguish, you quickly moved towards Sauron in an effort to get him to stop.

You had scarcely made two steps when his malevolent tone entered the air, his voice warped and unsettling, its sound now very familiar to you. "You cannot change what has already come to pass, my love." His head turned to you, the black slits of his eyes piercing your soul. A small smile appeared on his face. A face that despite belonging to darkness, was a face you couldn't help but still love. A hauntingly beautiful visage you couldn't see life without. Regardless of what was right.

You stood motionless once more, barely feet away from the two beings, and the scene that played out before you was nothing short of horrific. Sauron's smile evolved into an evil grin, and as he turned back to your father, your name passed his lips. "This is for her." Your father's right hand was still hopelessly trying to break loose the dark lord's grip, and in seconds, without any effort, Sauron had removed it from his wrist. The now limp extremity landed on the ground with a thud, and blood poured from your father's severed limb.

The expression on his face instantly changed from terror to complete and utter agony. In the next moment, the dagger fulfilled its purpose by easily penetrating the gut of your father, spilling more blood onto the floor. Sauron twisted it cruelly inside his flesh, causing your father to make what noise he could, whimpering like a dog. Your love then removed the blade, thrusting it again into his body. And again. And again. Finally, when he was satisfied that life was about to leave him, Sauron pulled your wounded father flush against himself, by the collar of his now reddened shirt. He dragged the dagger fast across your father's throat, mirroring the final blow you struck Nisarien when you ended her existence. Blood spurted from his neck, and you looked on in horror as the light vanished from his eyes. Sauron tossed his corpse to the floor, then he slowly turned to face you. The only colour on him was the crimson splashed upon his face. Blood had landed on his lips, and he licked them clean as he stared deeply into your eyes once more.

He smirked, "My queen."

It was then that you returned to the world, Sauron releasing the hold upon your mind. It took a few seconds for you to gather yourself, yet you couldn’t stop your voice from trembling when you finally spoke. "W-why... why did you show me that?!"
"To remind you that I love you, as you love me. That I will do anything for you, as I know you would me, as you have already proven."
"No, no, you manipulated me... you influenced me to take those lives... I'm certain you did."
Sauron smiled at you again, but it wasn't of a dark nature, it was quite the opposite. "I have shown you things, truths that are fast approaching. But that was only to plant the seed. Only you could make those choices."
"What do you mean, 'shown me things'...? You have shown me the death of my father by your hand! What else could you have possib-"
His smile widened, pride etched upon his face, as he watched you piece it together.

The dreams. Your nightmares. The visions. All were planted by Sauron himself.

"It... it... it was y-you! The whole time it was you! Every dark image conjured by your design! Including..." you felt sick before you could say it. "Including... my mother?!"
"No, as it turns out. That was all her. My only purpose was to bring you back to me. Back to your destiny at my side."
"My destiny?!" You paused then considering the term. It wasn't the first instance of a mention of your apparent fate to be bound to him, but hearing it now let it sink into your head differently than before. "My... destiny..." The word began to lose its meaning as it replayed in your mind. Was it really your destiny to be a dark queen? To love Sauron? To slaughter, enslave, and torture? To rule? You had once known your destiny to be queen of the Southlands, by Halbrand's side. But was it also this, and only this all along?

Halbrand. Oh Halbrand, where did you go?

"I'm right here, my love."
You shrieked, not expecting a response to your question. He could hear your thoughts too. Of course he could. Looking over at him, again you started to cry, and your head started to ache. For you were gazing upon Halbrand, the love of your life, but Sauron, the dark lord, was gazing back at you.

In that moment, you quickly got to your feet, and ran into the forest, as fast as your legs would allow, your sobbing drowning out the sound of Sauron's voice calling your name in the distance behind you.