The Blacksmith

You had never felt so conflicted in all your life, and it was a torment most cruel. Was your love for Sauron worth all of this anguish? You had longed for a husband, a partner, a lover to be by your side forever. The only beings you had shared affections or affairs with had always departed too soon. They had always been the wrong fit for you, especially in the eyes of your father.

Your father...

You were still reeling from the sight Sauron had shown you. The death of the man who gave you life. Now both your parents were gone from this world. Suddenly your mind crossed to your brothers. You did not get the chance to bid farewell to them, in fact, you hadn't seen any of them since before that fateful night in the smithy. In your head you pictured their reaction to your father's demise. Similar to you, they had loathed him, but they would not wish him to suffer a fate so grotesque and vile. You saw their faces in your mind, grief stricken, confused, catatonic even. Wondering where you were, thinking maybe you were dead also. Then you imagined the funeral. Who would have attended? Your father’s companions had strayed in his final years, and you feared only his barkeep friend would be present, and his sons, your brothers. Lying in state, his cold body embalmed, he would remain for eternity now entombed next to your mother.

Your mother...

What power did her spirit possess? To be able to enter your dreams from the next life and fight against your love for your soul? Sauron could be deceiving you of course, letting you feel some hope, playing games with your mind. Though something in the way he spoke of her suggested this was not the case. His statement had felt genuine, almost impressed with your mother's ability to interfere with his plans. It was then that for the first time in your existence you did not fear death. For when it came, it would be a warm and familiar embrace with the scent of lairelossë filling the air that surrounded your soul.

With these thoughts of your parents, you had ceased your quickened pace away from the dark lord that now haunted you. However, you did not stop moving, the sound of twigs and leaves breaking underneath your feet as you went on. Night time fell quicker than anticipated, the passing of time catching up with you, and your exhaustion demanded you rest. Laying upon the earth, you stared up at the stars between the trees overhead. Thinking back to the last time you had done this, on the ship, right before your first confrontation with your love.

Your love...

You knew he was your destiny, there was no way around it. Your feelings for him were too strong, so much so that the thought of not being with him... you couldn't help but feel how excruciatingly you would suffer without him. Halbrand, Sauron, whichever name he chose did not change these facts. If your confliction had assured you of one thing it was this: that you loved him in spite of the darkness in your heart, not because of it. The image of his smile entered your consciousness, and you recognised the familiar sensation of butterflies stirring within. It was such a beautiful, warm, and loving smile. The longer your mind lingered on the image however, it began to distort. Shifting from the compassionate smirk, to the seductive one, to the malevolent grin of Sauron himself.

You tried to open your eyes to rid yourself of it, but he wouldn't let you. Breathing heavily, you attempted in vain with your fingers to pry your eyelids apart. The evil smile then morphed back into the kind one you had first seen on Númenor, and he spoke to you. "My love... please come back to me... I cannot face this without you... you need me... we must face our darkness together... or we would give into it." Was this a vision or a memory? You could not say, and that aching in your skull returned once again, now amplified by your endless confusion.

Sauron released you then, having sensed your pain it seems, for the next thing you heard on the wind, was his voice sounding your name. He had found you. "I don't know why I ran. There is no escaping you." you admitted, turning to face him.
"We are bound. Our love is unbreakable." He paused, and then let out a sigh before continuing, his eyes fixed sharply on you. "I love you. Do you understand what that means?" Sauron's tone was vehement, but also laced with a kind of disbelief at his own words. However, you only looked at him with contempt. He continued, "I have existed before there was sound to be heard by any ears. And in my ages of living upon this world... I have never, ever, been so affected by another being. My very nature called into question. I was on a path seeking redemption, and the only reason I am still considering that atonement, is because of you." He spoke your name calmly, his tone apologetic. "I did not want to deceive you. You are the last being on this earth that I would hurt willingly. And I am sorry for that more than I can say, I only pray you can forgive me."

Sauron's words were having quite the influence, and not of the manipulative kind. You considered the meaning to which he referred, the substantial weight of his love for you, and just how profound it truly was. This made you feel lighter than air, but also timely reminded you that you in fact have power over him. A being such as Sauron could have anyone he wanted, no matter the race or the gender. But he had chosen you. A smile would have broken out on your face if you hadn't caught yourself. The enragement you felt had not yet subsided.

"Tell me more." you finally spoke, your icy tone not betraying your joy to him. "I sense you are struggling more than I. You have shared intentions of seeking redemption, yet you have seeded these nightmares in my mind where we rule with evil over Middle-earth. I'm not certain if you are warring with yourself or... someone else entirely."

Sauron began to wander slowly towards you, shortening the gap between where you both stood. Remaining in place, you were defiant of the fears you had, and felt them fading with each step he took. The confidence you held in your now realised power over him was exhilarating and was keeping you from fleeing once more. You had hoped you would never flee again.

"There was a time, long ago, when I served a master. He changed everything for me. Under him, my power was great. But it came at a cost. For I was never truly free. It wasn't until he was defeated that I felt the emancipation I had so desperately craved. I could breathe again. But with that breath, the guilt of my atrocities poured into me like a great wave. I knew if I wanted to craft my own vision for this world, make it real, I had to heal first. I had to atone. But it seems that... the terrible fiend Morgoth forged me to be... will always be here.

"The darkness in you... I saw it immediately. When you came to me that first night, asking for your fathers tools to be mended. It radiated from your very soul like a beacon. I recognised my own struggle within yourself." You thought about what he was saying, casting your mind back to your life before Halbrand. Before Sauron. Everything changed for you when your mother died. However, you had only ever considered it being the catalyst for your father's decent into barbarousness. Was it the beginning for you as well? Or had it been there all along brimming beneath the surface?

"How did you sense what I could not?"
Sauron smiled. "If you would allow me, I can show you."
You were pleased he was asking permission to enter your mind this time. "Okay."
"Are you ready to see yourself? The way I see you?"
"Just do it."

Sauron laughed, and his face was the last thing you saw before your vision faded. The first thing you felt was his hand in yours. Opening your eyes, you recognised immediately where you were. Home. The two of you were invisible spectres, watching the past play out before you. There you were, a child of barely three years, running amuck in your mother's kitchen. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw her standing there, watching you make your mischief. You couldn't help but try to move towards her but Sauron held you back. "I'm sorry, but she is not why we are here."

It was then your father walked in, scooping you up high, resting your tiny self on his shoulders. You smiled at the sound of your childlike giggle, suddenly remembering a time when your father had been your everything. "C'mon, little one, you ready to go?”
"Yes, Daddy!" you mumbled innocently.

Watching as he took steps out the door, ducking so your young self would not be injured on the frame, it was then that Sauron entreated you to follow. The dark lord lead you behind you and your father, stalking them for a mile or two until the destination was reached. Down a narrow alley way, there was a large wooden door that appeared to be locked quite excessively. From the distance behind, you heard nine knocks upon it from your fathers hand. The door was then ajar slightly, enough for it to be opened fully to pass through. Once inside, and the door now closed behind, you were in a hallway bathed in amber light from the torches that lined its walls.

Not a word was spoken, not even by your child self, who must have understood something that you do not remember. In fact, none of this was familiar to you at all. But you trusted it was real because you were starting to trust Sauron. Eventually the corridor gave way to a tavern like room, filled with aging wooden tables and chairs. There were a few men scattered across the scene, none looking too pleased. Their expressions changed however when they saw you and your father. Having been placed down on the floor, you ran across to a man similar in age to your father, who wore a cap that skewed slightly to one side, atop greying thin hair that stopped at his jawline. "Waldreg!" you cried out happily as he picked you up and sat you on his knee.

Your father greeted him kindly with a handshake. "I wasn't expecting to see you here, old friend!"
"I came for her!" he laughed, giving you a quick tickle, bringing that giggle out again. "Just here for a short stay I'm afraid. Heading back to Middle-earth tomorrow."
"Did you find it?" asked your father, eager for the answer.
"No. But I have an idea where to look."
Your father sighed in frustration. "We shall be dead before it reveals itself to us!"
"At least you're Númenórean! You'll be able to keep searching after I'm nothing but bones."
"But I'll be in the dirt right behind you... blasted elves. I'm glad they don't come here no more. Flaunting their never ending existences over us. Thinking they're superior."
"But Morgoth is superior to them, and that's why he has our allegiance." countered Waldreg.
"I know. And if we want to assure the return of his beautiful servant, then we must find what we seek!" exclaimed your father, sounding more determined than you had ever heard.
"You'll find it, Daddy. S'okay." reassured your child self, her innocent voice providing a stark contrast. But it was the next words from her mouth, that truly stunned you. "Hail Morgoff!" her inability to properly articulate the name of darkness incarnate caused the men to bellow with laughter. It was then you felt Sauron's eyes upon you, and you turned your head, showing him the disbelief on your face. "Come. There is more to see."

Sauron lead you out of the room, back the way you had come, the howling of the men tinged with malice as it echoed off the stone walls. Suddenly all of the flames in the hallway were extinguished. The light from the now open door ahead was blinding. Moving through it, you found yourself engulfed by the sun, and as your eyes adjusted, a new location was presented to you. Pelargir. Sauron lead you through the streets in silence as you took in your surroundings. Things began to look familiar to you now, as you were much older when last you were here.

When last you were here. It was when your mother died.

And as if on command by your thoughts, she appeared before you, holding the hand of your twelve year old self, whilst her free hand rubbed her heavily pregnant belly. "I've got to tell her something... warn her... somehow."
"I told you, she is not why we are here. I know how painful it-"
"Do you?" you spat at him, your grief coming back to you, returning just as the day she left was now replaying itself before your eyes.
The dark lord seemed pained, remorseful, yet he held firm in his resolve. "You cannot change what has already come to pass, my love."
"You better be getting to a point, my love." you mimicked him in frustration. "This is becoming cruel."

Sauron said nothing further, only pointed with a small turn of his head in the direction of what he needed you to see. Your father rounded the corner then, walking side by side with your two older brothers and another man you now knew to be Waldreg. You couldn't hear the words they were speaking from this distance, so you took steps towards them, Sauron letting you lead this time.
"In here." said Waldreg suddenly.
"Alright boys, catch up with your mother now." ordered your father, then he called out to his wife, "I'll see you later!" and with a wave of his hand, disappeared into the building Waldreg had motioned to. It was an apothecary, a modest one, with only the basics for treating and curing ailments the locals might incur. Armenelos had many of these, and much bigger in size, that had allowed your mother to become a fairly good healer.

The two men gave a quick nod to the attendant before heading out the back into storage. As soon as the door was shut, Waldreg practically pounced on your father. "Let me see it, let me see it! It's not real if I don't see it!"
"Alright, alright, give me a moment here!" retorted your father, as he began to rummage through his sack. "I can't believe I'm holding it." he spoke with reverence, a kind of awe washing over him. Slowly, he raised a bundle wrapped in brown cloth up and out of the bag. Setting it down on a bench next to where they stood, he carefully revealed to Waldreg what was contained within. It was a hilt, severed from its sword, rendering it of no value, though the way their eyes were hypnotised staring at it... it was if they had found the silmarils themselves.

The hilt was rather peculiar, and you found yourself unable to remove your eyes from it. Its metal was aged, for there were hints of rust, and three long shards twisted around it at the top like grasping claws. On the end of it was what resembled a crown of thorns, which looked eerily familiar. What remained of the sword itself was onyx in colour, and you could make out what looked like a sigil engraved into it. Three jagged lines, looking almost like the top of a trident, and they were all different lengths. The two on the outside curved inward, one more sharply than the other. Then upon the middle line was a point, almost like an animals fang, that was in the dead centre of the mark. A certain feeling began to stir within you the longer you looked at it. It was power.

"We are really looking at something of Morgoth's own forging..." your father uttered, completely overcome.
"It's finally ours... we found it!"
"I found it." your father corrected.
"That's not what matters... what matters now is, we will be ready when the time comes."
"Yes, my old friend. We will. I just hope we live to see Sauron's return."
Unexpectedly, one of your brothers crashed into the apothecary, hysterical. "Father! Come quick, come quick!"
Quickly covering the hilt before your brothers eyes took notice, he responded, "What's the matter, boy?"
"It’s mother! Something's wrong!" With that, the three males hurriedly exited the premises, and you stood there like a statue, a living epitaph of your mother's grave. Sauron took your hand again then, only this time he gave it a caring squeeze, stroking your skin with his thumb. Before any tears could fall, Pelargir disappeared into memory, and then events more recent came to the fore. You were with Waldreg again, and Waldreg alone. The two of you watched on as he wandered steadily over fallen stone and wood to reach what almost looked like an alter that was at the foot of a wall covered in overgrowth. It was then you noticed the hilt in his hand.

Waldreg stood over the alter, and raised up the arm that held the hilt. He let that crown of thorns pierce his flesh, but he did not wince at the pain he surely felt. The blood that left him slid its way up his arm past his wrist, and into the metal itself. The hilt began to spark, and a sword of flame grew out from it, forging not a weapon, but a key that he then thrusted into the alter. A key Waldreg used to unlock devastation. For as he turned it in the stone, a chain reaction was unleashed, and the ground beneath you shook, breaking the dam nearby. You wandered over to the edge of the cliff face, and watched as an unfathomable amount of water cascaded down to the ground below. It rushed on and on until it was out of sight.

"This was Morgoth's plan. My plan." spoke Sauron. "But by the time it was enacted... I had hoped it for it not to be."
"What plan do you speak of?"
"To create a world of shadow."
Your eyes went wide, and you felt a tremendous vibration that rose up from the earth below, threatening to break the stone beneath your feet. Looking out over the valley below, your eyes found the horizon, and sure enough, there it was. Orodruin, the mountain, had erupted. This was how it happened. Your father had played a part in the destruction of the Southlands.