Chapter 1
Peter wakes up with the sound of his alarm, angrily turning it off. It was monday, he doesn't like mondays. Monday means the start of the week and the start of the week means going through another 5 days of school. He was good at school, he just didn't like the idea of being around a group of people who didn't like him.
He took his round glasses from his nightstand and with a sight he standed up and went to the bathroom, he saw himself in the mirror, he looked horrible. His skin was pale, his hair was a mess and his eyebags were horrific, in general he sucked. He went out of the bathroom to change his clothes and take his stuff, when he finally went down he found his aunt making breakfast.
“Oh, good morning Pete, sit down, the breakfast is almost ready.” Said May with a smile.
“Sorry May, it's getting late, I gotta go.” Said Peter. “I'll eat something at school, I promise.” Added at the moment he saw the worried face of his aunt. He didnt like to lie to May but sometimes he had no choice, he knowed that May would get worried and will try to take him to a doctor that they cant afford, sometimes he had to lie.
He went out of his place, putting on his earphones while he walked to school, the way to school was long, he could take the school bus but it was noisy and the people were annoying, Peter rather walk. After a few minutes he got to school, he walked through the hallway with his head down and trying to get to his locker and search for his friends, even with how careful he was being, he dashed with Flash
“I-Ohgod S-Sorry” He apologized and quickly went out of there. Flash stayed there, watching where Peter left, confused.
Okay
Peter may have reasons, maybe Flash used to bother him a little, maybe Flash used to punch him a little, but that was in the past, Flash was trying to change. He wasn't even sure about why, maybe because Peter was friends with Gwen and Flash was friends with Gwen and he finded weird to bully his friends friend or maybe he realized that he was kind of a jerk and after all Peter was human and had felling, or whatever.
He was trying to change, the other day he even offered him a pencil when he noticed that Peter needed one, Peter didn't take it, he just watched him and then went back to put his attention on the teacher, but hey, he tried.
He didn't want to be Peter's new best friend or whatever, he just wanted to apologize, he neither was sure about why he needed to apologize so badly, whatever it was, he felt guilty.
Say that he wasn't putting more attention at Parker would be a lie and maybe his need to apologize was because he realized how helpless Peter was, the guy mas short and even with his baggy clothes it was pretty obvious how skinny he was, he remembers seeing him in the changing room, the guy looked like he was going to break at any moment.
Flash started to walk in the direction of his next class, math or maybe english, he really doesn't care at all.
.
“Hey, Pete, are you listening?”
“What?”
“Just-Just nevermind, okay?” Said Mary Jane, annoyed. “What are you thinking about anyway?”
“Nothing,” Said Peter looking at MJ. “I have this project and i'm just thinking on how ill do it.”
“Wait, the science paper?” Gwen added and Peter nodded. “Dude, we have 2 weeks to do it, relax a little.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Quietly said and then he got lost in his head again while his friends kept talking about whatever they were talking about before. Peter didn't really care in the same way that he didn't really care about the sciences work, he just felt tired and wasn't so enthusiastic on starting a conversation. He didn't sleep so well last night, either the night before or the night before that, it was starting to become a problem. His head hurted, his eyes felt tired, he really needed to sleep and wasn't so sure about how he was going to survive his next classes.
A few minutes later the ring sounded, making him know that it was time to go back to work, Peter was being kinda lucky this last weeks, Flash apparently got tired of bother him, he wasn't sure about why but he wasn't gonna complain, still he walked through the hallways scared, he knows that at any moment Flash will remember that he exist and will punch him. Peter never got able to understand why Flash hated him, he likes to believe that Flash has an actual reason, he likes to believe that at some point he did something that bothered Flash and now he was making his school life impossible like some type of revenge but between more he thinks about it, he doesnt find a reason but cant help but feel like he deserves it.
He went out of the cafeteria while sightly saying bye to Gwen and walking with MJ to his next class, the girl was talking about something and Peter wasn't sure if he was understanding, Peter loves MJ but sometimes it was hard to follow the conversation, MJ was a passionate girl and that was definitely one of the thing that Peter loves of her but sometimes it was hard to follow, mostly when it was a subject that Peter doesn't have a clue.
.
Finally, the school day was over and he got able to stay awake the whole time, yeah, he didn't paid attention, not even a little but he stayed awake.
The process of going out of school was the same that the one of going inside school, walk the fastest the can to his locker, save and take the things he needs, talk a little with his friends and then get out of school to go home the fastest he can go, again he listens to music with his cheap earphones, everyday was the same, Peter was starting to get tired of it but there was nothing he could do, the only thing that made him feel better was the fact that it was his last year and luckily he would finish highschool and start college where he could pretend that nothing never happen.
Peter hated to walk, quickly he would get tired and he couldn't help but feel guilty, maybe if he wasn't so fat he could manage it and he wouldn't get dizzy by walking, even if he hated it he knowed that he needed it, he can't be lazy. Peter really hates himself, he knows that if he wasn't so ugly he could have more friends, he knows that if he had a nice personality he would be able to talk to somebody else than Gwen or MJ, he knows that if they had never talked to him he would be so alone, he loves his friends but the also knows how pathetic it is to be 17 and depend so bad on two people.
When he finally went home, the place was alone as always at that hour, his aunt was working as always, Peter cant be mad, he knows the reason his aunt has to work so hard is because he's there and after uncle ben died the things just got harder and harder. He went directly to his room, throwing away his backpack and jumping into his bed. The place was a mess, he doesn't remember the last time he cleaned it and he isn't sure if he wants to know.
He closed his eyes trying to get lost in his dreams. It was weird, these last days the only thing that Peter wanted was sleep but at the same time it was so hard. He tried to relax and get drowned by the silence in his room, he tried to forget about the homework or any other thing he has to do but he doesn't want to, he tried to forget about how he was starting to fail at school, right now the only thing he wants is to get asleep. He left his glasses in the nightstand and closed his eyes again, now letting the darkness in his room get him.
.
He woke up a few hours later, outside it was already dark and he wasn't sure if May had already got home but if she wasn't she would be at any moment. His head and stomach hurted, screaming for food, screams that Peter ignored, yesterday he had eaten some salad that May had made, he didn't deserve to eat.
Peter took his phone and checked the hour, it was already 8, he checked his notifications, just a few messages from Gwen and MJ, he answered them quickly and left his phone alone. He watched the roof, it haven't been the most horrible day, no one messed with him and he could take his classes but he still couldn't help but feel miserable, if he was pretty and skinny people would like him more, if he wasn't a weirdo he would have more friends and people would be feel grossed at the idea of talking with him, Peter wants to be normal, Peter tries to be normal but at the same time he can't act normal, the normal kids don't know every single star trek dialogue, the normal kids don't cut his arms and the stupid normal kids can eat.
At the end, Peter knows that he doesn't deserve to be treated like the normal kids.