Chapter 8
(Credit to: LierRen)
“He killed 80 people in two day-”
They teleported.
“-s”
Everyone immediately drew their weapons. They were on a stage of some sorts, two huge screens standing next to them. There were six chairs on the stage, all of them having a table with each three buttons, titled A, B and C.
Barton was there too, apparently free from mind control, as his eyes weren’t an unnatural blue anymore.
“Clint?”, Natasha said hesitantly. The man blinked and then nodded.
“Yeah I’m- Why did he just let me go? And where the fuck are we?”
“Some random stage I found, stole and now placed in the middle of nowhere.”, said an all to familiar voice from over them.
Above them, sitting on air, was Loki.
Barton immediately gritted his teeth.
“What do you want?! And how did you even escape!”
“Did you really think that your stupid cage can hold me? And as for what I want”- the man flicked his hand and the lights turned on “-I want you to play my quiz!”
The stage was now fully lighted and the screen next to them had turned on, showing a 0/10. The second screen was on too, but only was showing what seemed to be an idle screen.
“You want us to-what?”
“I want you to play my Quiz! Its easy, really, I ask you 15 questions and if you get ten of them right I’ll let you go and give you…”another hand flicker “-the Tesseract!”
“What-”
“Great! Now, please sit down.”
No one moved and Loki pouted-like actually pouted.
“Wow, you’re not really cooperative.” He flickered his hand again and the Avengers yelped as they were pulled into the chairs by green whisks of magic.
“Okay, have Fun!”
With that he disappeared.
“What the fuck is going on???”, Stark asked bewildered.
The screen that previously only showed an idle flickered to life, showing the first question.
“What is inside the Tesseract?”, Rogers read. “A: An infinity stone. B: Pure Energy. C: Something that shouldn’t get out.”
“I would guess Energy?”, Stark suggested.
“I am inclined to believe it is C.”, Thor argued.
“What even is an Infinity Stone??”, asked Banner.
“Who knows-”, Stark began, but was interrupted by Rogers.
“Are we actually doing this right now??”
“Yes, shut up. Hey Point break, do you know what an Infinity Stone is?”
“It is an artefact of great power and there are multiple of them. However they were lost and scattered all across the Universe, so the chance that it is indeed one is low.”
“Good to know- but wouldn’t something like that be the right answer? Its always shit that doesn’t make sense.”
“Or it could be an trick to make us choose A.”
“I say we go for B. I don’t think anything would even fit into that small cube.”
“Yeah, fair. So we just click on B now?”, Barton asked.
“Yeah, my guess is that whatever answer gets the most votes is the one finally chosen.”
“That makes sense.”
A few collective clicks were heard and the screen changed, now showing how many people voted for what. 3 for B, 1 for C and 1 for A.
“Hey, who voted for C?!?”
“I did.”, Thor immediately said.
“And let me guess-Rogers you didn’t vote?”
“I’m not participating in this.”, the man in question said.
The screen once again changed, now showing A and C getting greyed out. A second later the lights blinked red and a ‘wrong’ appeared, written in big red letters. Then it showed A as right answer and Thor chocked on nothing.
“An infinity Stone?!?”, he exclaimed at the same time Natasha loudly cheered “I was right!”
The Next question appeared.
“How many siblings does Thor have?”, Stark read loudly. “A: 1. B: 0. C: 2. Uh, that’s easy! Point Break?”
“Only Loki.”
“Good, its A again!”
“Wait-”, Thor interrupted. “Does it mean biologically or who I consider my siblings?”
“What would that change?”
“Loki’s adopted.”
“Ah”
“It means how many people consider you siblings, if they are happy about it or not.”, Lokis voice echoed.
“A then.”
The screen once again showed wrong.
“…Loki-”
“Just watch.”, Loki snapped from above. The right answer was, in fact, not B, but C.
“What.”, Thor chocked out. “Brother what does that mean-”
“Shut up and focus.”
The next question appeared.
“How many times has Loki faked/escaped death?”, Natasha read. “A: two. B: three. C: one”
“The fuck is it with those questions??”
“As far as i know it was one time.”, Thor said, seemingly recovered from his shock.
“I say B. Simply because its the furthest from Thors answer.”, Barton said.
“I hate to say it but I agree.”, Banner said.
“Me too.”, Natasha agreed.
“Same here.”, Stark said.
“…I guess, yeah.”, Rogers said.
“Oh, so you’re participating now?”, Stark asked with fakes shock.
“…What can be the worst to happen?”
“…If you say so.”, meant Thor.
The answer was right. Their count went up to 1/10.
“Wait-Really??? Why did you fake your death three Times???”
“Hm, well, technically it was only two times. But I guess the third time counts as escaping death…wait does it count? Eh, yeah its probably right.“
„Isn‘t this your quiz? Shouldn‘t you know the answer?“, Stark asked with a raised eyebrow.
„Just shut up and move on.“
„Alright, Alright….”
“Who will start Ragnarök?”, Rogers read. “A: Loki (& Thor) ,B: Thanos, C: Odin & Hela. What’s a Ragnarök?”
“Ragnarök- Loki!”, Thor shouted. Loki just shrugged.
“Ragnarök is the destruction of Asgard.”, Loki explained.
“How are we supposed to know that?!? It hasn’t happened!”, Barton complained.
“In the Mythology I’m pretty sure it’s Loki.”, Natasha said and then frowned. “But with Thor?”
“I would never start Ragnarök!”
“Well, then its either some Thanos guy or your father and…Hela?”
“Isn’t she Lokis daughter?”, Banner asked. Over them Loki choked on his chocolate milk.
“Excuse me what?? She is most definitely not and I don’t even want to imagine that.”
“You know her?”
“Not important.”
“Either way, I do not think my father nor I would start Ragnarök, so I’m inclined to believe it was this Thanos person.”
“…I’ll go with A.”, Rogers said. “Sorry Thor, but we don’t even know who Thanos is.”
“Yeah…”
The Voting turned out to be 3 for A, 2 for B and 1 for C.
A was correct, making Thor choke on nothing and then sputter as he tried to find words, which in turn made Loki start cackling over them. The other Avengers pointedly ignored the spectacle. Well, expect Stark, who took some pictures of sputtering Thor.
“Who killed half of the universe using the Infinity Stones?”, Barton read, disbelief in his voice. “A: The Guardians of the Galaxy, B: The Avengers -what??- or C: Thanos?”
“Well, its certainly not us.”, Rogers said. “Right?”
“Not that I knew. So, either our beloved Thanos or The Guardians of the Galaxy, whoever that is supposed to be.”
“Well, it has to be Thanos then, right? I doubt these Guardians would try to do that if they’re supposed to protect the Galaxy.”, Thor said.
“Or its them exactly because you wouldn’t think it was them!”, Stark said.
“But wouldn’t that be too easy?”, Natasha pondered.
“I say its C.”, Barton said. “A would be too obvious.”
“Well, I think its A!”,Stark said.
“How about we all just vote what we want to and then see?”, Natasha proposed and then clicked one of her Buttons. The others did the same.
In the end A had gotten 2 Votes, B had 1 vote and C had 3.
“Who voted B?”
“I did.”, Rogers admitted. “It just made so absolutely no sense that I just had to.”
C ended up being correct, now making their score 3/10.
The next question was: ‘How many Infinity stones are currently on Earth/Midgard?’ Answers were: A: 10, B: 6, C: 3.
“Uh, how many are there in total?”, Stark asked.
“I do not know.”, thor said.
“Okay, but are we ignoring that at least three of them have to be here???”
“Yes we are. Uhhh, I’m gonna say B!”
“Its really just guessing at this point.”
“Yeah that’s not fair! Hey Reindeer games! We want a hint!!”
“Erm, its not A.”, Loki said from above.
“Huh, so C?”
“Yeah sure fuck it.”
C was correct.
“…How do you always get the correct answers through the stupidest ways?”
“No idea Reindeer Games, no idea.”
“Next question is: Who does Loki hate the most?”
“…Why brother?”, Thor asked.
“Because i can!”, came the light answer.
“Okay, we have A: Odin, B: Thanos and C: Thor.”
“I’m gonna say B, just because Thanos was the right answer on killing half of the fucking Universe.”, Clint said.
“Yeah, Legolas, I don’t think its B. I’m rather thinking C.”
“…I fear you are right.”
“I fear I must correct you. I am 100% sure it’s B.”
Everyone except Clint ended up voting for C.
B was the right answer.
Thor literally squeaked of happiness.
“Hah!!! I was right!”
“Well, yes you were, but the reasoning was rather wrong.”
“Why else then?”, Barton asked with a raised eyebrow.
“And that’s the part that’s none of your business!”
“Asshole.”, Barton grumbled.
A few questions later the Avengers resulted on 9/10 right Answers.
Loki sighed in disappointment.
“I can’t say i didn’t expect it, but that was rather sad. Well, I hope you will have fun with your punishment!”
“Wait-Punishment??”
Loki snapped his fingers and the Avengers were teleported into an arena. The Floor of it was full of tiny black cats and the sky over it was, somehow, a bright pink with glitter clouds.
Suddenly Barton squeaked and everyone turned to see what startled him. There were Snails. Snails as big as Cars and bigger.
Safe to say, the Worlds mightiest heroes ran for their life.
***
(Credit to: amnesiacereader)
The loud “WHAT THE FUCK?!” that echoed through probably the whole Tower was what woke Tony up today.
Blinking away the sleep Tony sat up sluggishly. Did he even want to know what was going on? Probably not.
Still he stood up and walked out of his bedroom to the common room from where the scream came.
“STARK WHY THE FUCK IS MY HAIR PINK?!?”, A Steve Rogers with bright Pink hair screaming at him was what he was greeted with. Tony couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.
“STARK THIS ISN’T FUNNY!”
“It- It kinda is!”, Tony wheezed out between laughs.
Rogers looked annoyed, but then his expression changed to smug.
“Well, you might want to look into the Mirror.” Tony immediately stilled.
“No.”,
“yes.”
Tony never ran somewhere faster than in his life.
Looking at the Mirror- yup his hair was pink too. Not even a soft shade but an eye-killing, bright, ugly and with decorated with glitter, pink.
Tony immediately took a shower. To his utter dismay it didn’t come off.
When he returned to the living Room he noticed that the others had arrived too- all with bright, glittery pink hair.
“It doesn’t wash out.”, he informed and despite himself watched in amusement as everyones faces took on different stages of horror. Expect Natasha who was looking at herself in a Mirror with a big smile.
“Well, it looks really fucking good on me If I may say so myself!”, she said and was- unfortunately- right. Pink hair suited her way better than it should.
“Yeah but it looks shitty on the rest of us.”, Clint voiced Tonys- and probably everyone elses- thoughts.
“Well what are we gonna do-”
A massive Thunder crashing into the roof of the tower interrupted Bruce.
“What the fuck-”,
“Chill, it’s probably just Thor.”, Clint interrupted. Tony groaned.
“Point Break’s here NOW? To the exact time our Hair turns pink? Seems pretty sus to me.”
“But why would he do that?”, Rogers tried to mediate, making Tony threw his hands in the air.
“I don’t know?!”
“Boys.”, Natasha. “We should probably see what he wants.”
“But…”
“We’ll just wear caps and hoods.”, Natasha said.
There was sukence for a second, then-
“How am I supposed to wear Rogers-”
Tony started wheezing the moment he saw Thor.
Laughing at an all-powerful-maybe-immortal-thunder-controlling-prince of an all powerful land in space? Not his smartest move- but Thor just looker so fucking funny with pink hair-
“Not.A.Word.”, Thor gritted out.
“Don’t worry Point Break!”, Tony said with maybe-fake cheerfulness as he pulled down the hoodie he had been wearing. “It hit us too!”
Thor now seemed to have trouble to keep in his own laughter, before he shook himself and his amused expression was replaced by a serious one.
“Unfortunately I come with bad news.”
“What? Did Reindeer Games escape from his inescapable cell or what?” Tony meant it as a joke. Thors expression darkening quickly wiped off the grin on his face. “Wait really?”
“Unfortunately my Brother has indeed escaped from his cell.”
“I though these we’re supposed to be inescapable.”, Clint growled.
“They are. Not even the All Father could escape them if he we’re put in one. Still, somehow Loki just… disappeared. And that without a trace, which should all things considered not be possible.”
“Huh. Any Idea on where Dazai disappeared too?”
“…who?”
Tony waved them off.
“An Anime character who-kind off- escaped an inescapable prison.”
“Ah.”
“Though, I think Fyodor would fit better-”
“Tony.”, interrupted Natasha. Then she turned to Thor. “Do you have any ideas or clues on where Loki disappeared too?”
“I do not, though I suspected that he would want to take revenge on you because you captured him, and it seems that I was right.”
“What?”
“The Hair, Cap.”, Tony supplied.
“Ah. But isn’t that a bit…harmless?”
Thor nodded.
“For Loki, yes, definitely. I would have suspected that he would make all of you suffer in unspeakable ways before killing you off, but only after you watched everyone you cared about die.”, Thor said, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
“Yeah, sounds like him.”, Clint agreed.
“The question is- Why didn’t he do so?”, Cap asked.
“Well, what he did reminds me strongly of the old Loki.”
“You mean before he went batshit crazy?” Thor scowled at that and he looked sad, but he nodded.
“Yes. Before he went mad, he would take revenge by playing people pranks- like cursing them so they can only or backwards, turning them into chickens for a few days or dying their hair a ridiculous colour with magic. These we’re annoying, but they didn’t harm anyone. There we’re a few times he went a bit…extreme…, but other than that he only played tricks.”
“Extreme?”, Tony asked, admittedly, because he was curious.
“Indeed. Once a boy around my age, did something. I don’t know what, but it must’ve been bad- because while Loki had a short temper, he didn’t just take off someones limbs while keeping them alive with magic, making sure to make it slow and painful while telling them stories about how he could-and would- torture them the next day. It went on for a week until the boy died-but no one could prove it was Loki who had done it. He was around 13 the time, and he had already a reputation that dutifully told one not to mess with him.”
There was terrified silence and Tony most definitely regretted asking.
“He did that…at 13?”, Bruce asked, disbelief lacing his voice.
“Indeed he did. I myself was around 16 in Midgardian terms, and even I found it highly unnerving. Though Loki behaved just like nothing happened and went back to his old methods. The Reputation was then quickly discarded as a rumour, but I myself know that Loki did it. He told me a few hundred years ago.”
“What the fuck.”, whispered Clint.
“…Back to where Fyodor could be hiding.”
“I have no idea, though we should be glad that he only died our hair pink, as he could have done far worse.”
Natasha’s phone rang and she accepted.
“Yes?”
The person who called her said something that made Natasha struggle to maintain her giggles.
“Of course Sir, we’re on our way.”, she said, then pocketed her phone again and turned to the other Avengers with a wide grin.
“We have a mission to do boys!”
***
(Credit to: amnesiacereader)
(Warnings: (Past) Suicide (Attempts) not taken seriously due to looping mechanics, (Past) Death & Murder,
Loki wouldn’t describe himself as insane. But he wasn’t exactly sane either- Just a tad mad. That was it.
Just a tiny bit.
He could admit that the loops we’re messing with his mind. And that a lot. Even more so it made him mad- with every failed attempt to escape this wretched hell a bit more. Now it was loop…was it 315 or 351? Either way, he had run out of things to try.
He read every fucking book in every existing library. He tried everything. EVERYTHING.
He literally tried out every fucking way to die he could find in hopes off one being final. Throwing himself off the Bifröst (again) didn’t work. Throwing himself into an inter dimensional riff didn’t work. Hanging himself didn’t work. Taking an Overdose of medicine/potions didn’t work. Letting himself get smashed by Thor didn’t work. Letting Thanos kill him again didn’t work. Magicking himself to death didn’t work. Walking into the fuCKING MAGICAL BORDER OF HIS CELL DIDN’T WORK. NOTHING WORKED.
So, he may admit he was right now, a bit more mad than usual.
And in his defence, it’s not like he choose to loop back to a moment where he had two infinity stones, that wasn’t his fault, really.
Anyways, stealing all infinity stones was a LOT easier than he was comfortable with, but who was he to complain. It made his case a lot easier actually.
On his way of rage, he had caused Chaos and wars everywhere he could. Midgard was fighting against another part of Midgard (Called Russia?). Asgard had been ‘provoked’ to a war by Vanaheim and gladly agreed. Loki even managed to mess up enough things so that Valhalla was currently at war with Helheim. Thanos was dealing with his own army, the Avengers were god knows where, multiple planets destroyed each other in a war with weapons to dangerous for them and the random space creatures he had given a Death star made with the Infinity stones was having fun blasting every planet they saw.
Pure chaos, and Loki loved it.
He hadn’t meant to end the universe, but REALLY, he only started a few wars, who could have knows they would end up destroying the whole Universe?
Not his fault if everyone else was too fucking stupid to know when to stop.
***
(God of Cats [Remake]: Part 1/1)
The Tesseract started spinning. The people in the room looked at it with alarm, some already gripping their weapons. It span faster and faster- until it let out a blue beam of energy opening a portal which kept getting bigger- until it suddenly collapsed in a blue shockwave so bright that everyone in the room had to cover their eyes with their arms.
Barton pulled his bow as Fury pulled his trusted gun.
They opened their eyes again, ready to face whatever had came through the portal. Door, as Barton had called it.
Instead, they faced a cat. Correction, an Army of cats. The whole room was flooded with them- all in different shapes, colours and sizes- they even pilled up against the fucking walls.
Most of them looked normal, but a god 30% decidedly weren’t. One had wings- an orange one one was holding a fucking knife in its mouth- another one was flying around as if gravity didn’t exist- and there was one sitting on a pile of other cats- a fucking spear in its paws.
Worst of all- they we’re all meowing. Every single one. It was so loud in the room that some agents immediately fled, hands covering their ears.
Suddenly the one with the spear- a small black cat with piercing green eyes and a golden headband with horns on it- started glowing greenly-then it was suddenly replaced by a person.
The man had black hair which partly covered piercing green eyes- he was definitely the cat. Did that make him a Shapeshifter?- and he was wearing some kind of leather armour. The golden headband was still there- but now it had cat ears.
Could that be symbolic? Horns usually stood for demons- Yeah, no, Fury didn’t even want to finish that thought.
“I am Loki.”, the man introduced himself, voice full of pure delight. “The God of Cats.”
Fury would have snorted- if it wasn’t for the fact that the guy was apparently a shapeshifting-demon-cat-god-thingy with a spear in his hand.
“What Business do you have on this planet?”, Fury asked. The amused gleam in the cat-demon-god’s eyes got even brighter.
“I’m here to free the cats you have enslaved.”, the man said, then paused. “And of course give you a taste of your own medicine.”
As if on cue, the cats in the room stopped meowing and snapped their necks at the humans in the room with a sickening crack, each one looking ready to claw out their eyes. They just stared at each other for a moment- the cats didn’t blink once.
“Uh-”, Fury started, but stopped when the man turned again. Loki, now in cat form, meowed loudly. The agents didn’t even have time to react as they we’re immediately jumped at by multiple cats.
—
A few hours later, one Fury with dozens of scratches and very torn clothing was sitting in an Helicopter flying away from the Tesseract Research centre. He was, admittedly, a bit ashamed. After all Shield had gotten beat up by a bunch of cats- a whole lot of cats and most of them we’re magic- but still cats.
The whole Situation was embarrassing. Normally he would just send more Shield agents- but Coulson and Barton we’re being hold Hostage- and they we’re too important. So he gave in to the cats demands, which was for whatever reason to have only the Avengers fight against them.
In fact, Fury himself hadn’t even been able to escape the wrath of the cats- they just let him go to deliver the message, as neither Loki nor the cats could use electronics that weren’t centred around since and the Tesseract. He wasn’t going to question that either.
He glanced at the pilots seat- the fluffy orange cat sitting there didn’t even acknowledge him.
Fury sighed as he looked back at the Research Centre and wondered where he went wrong in his life to end up in this situation.