Some days were harder than others.
Today, everything felt a little duller, less bright and an oppresive weight seemed to have taken residence in his chest. It was eons better than how he was six months ago but the darks thoughts have never truly gone away. They say with time, time will heal, time will help. Getting a li' bit tired about that.
Not everything was disheartening tho. He must remind himself of that, the compound was full of life and, while at first it was overwhelming, he came to appreciate the noise and vitality that came with its people.
Some of whom he never thought would become such an essential aspect of his life.
The look on Tony's face the first time they saw each other in the communal kitchen was one of wariness, but not outright hostility. He made his apologies long ago, same as Tony, nonetheless, they had never interacted outside the Accords formal atmosphere.
Over the months since Bucky's arrival, the two of them had become cautiously civil, followed by tentatively amicable and finally, increasingly friendly. Tony wasn't how he had imagined him at all, his sarcasm, quick wit and thoughtful disposition slowly yet surely wormed its way into his heart.
"Remind me to never make you coffee, Buckaroo, what has the mug done to you?" Tony's drawl snapped him out of his thoughts and Bucky moved his head to look at the billionaire.
"Probably saw his ugly mug and scared himself" Sam's smirk was prominent in his haste to get to the kitchen, presumably to make himself one of those horrible tasting milkshakes. A grimmace came forward into his features only thinking about the last time he caved and tried one. One was enough.
"Shut your mouth" He snapped back at Sam, who simply laughed and flipped him. Tony, meanwhile, was watching with a tiny amused upwards flip at the corner of his lips.
A gasp resonated through the homely space.
"The audacity. One would have thought that looking at MY handsome features was a better time investment." A wink and a delighted smile were thrown his way, which only made his heart flutter inside his chest.
"Suit up. We leave in ten. There's an emergency, Doom has released a couple hundred purple looking giant rabbits around Central Park." Blonde hair disappeared under a blue helmet. Steve stood at the kitchen's door, eyes serious but crinkling softly once he caught his stare.
"Wow, he truly took into a whole other level the Easter spirit. Someone call Roger Rabbits, his siblings are missing." An arched eyebrow took home in Tony's face, still calm at the counter. "Everyone take cover, the adorableness will kill us all."
Steve's deadpan response was delivered, but the punk's eyes shined with mirth. "Purple giant murderous bunnies."
"It's always one of the big three." Sam's voice was matter of fact but resigned. "One ordinary villain, that's all I ask. Only one."
His muttering could be heard through the corridor as he went to get his suit.
"Well, that's my cue. See you later, sugarplum". Tony swiftly left the kitchen, not before drowning the still burning coffee down his throat. "New York would fall without me." His dramatic sight only amused me as I saw him go, my eyes furtively and unconciously looking towards his ass. And what a great ass. I quickly redirected my gaze, clashing with Steve's shit eating grin. I scowled, but I knew he could see it was just a front.
"I think Nat left you a headband in the bathroom." His smug face already leaving the room.
"Don't do anything stupid!" My raised voice was instantly answered with a merry reply.
"How can I? You have all the stupid with you!"
A smiled came into my face without meaning to. Punk.
I stayed still, listening to the compound's uncommon silence. After a few seconds I got up from my seat and decidedly started my routine. It began the third time I found myself alone in the compound. As I have yet to be granted medical leave, I can't tag along with the rest of the team when missions come or they get called. Pacing and securing all exits can only be so exciting, therefore a habit of watching trashy TV emerged. The future has wonderful inventions, shit series were one of those. Once Nat caught wind of my routine she decided to show me videos of what she called "self-love" and gave me all kind of products that, in her words, helped with relaxation and would make my skin glow.
Now, I use them every single time, one does not simply refuse сестра. Thus, a soothing routine was established, it became the highlight of my day.
Long footsteps take me back to my room, this won't work if I'm not comfortable. I take my shirt off and search for my favourite pants, somewhere deep in the closet so no one will ever find them. I will make sure to dissapear from the surface of the Earth if Tony or anyone catches me in these, he will rub it all over my face, it would be highly embarrassing too. But they remind me of him, and to hell with everything, I deserve this. Iron Man sweatpants grace my hands and I quickly pull them on.
That done, I stride towards the bathroom, opening cabinets and searching the damn thing. Fuck, where the fuck has сестра left the headband? A radioactive white smudge caught my eye in the periphery. I turned, and there, on top of a fluffy blue towel, was a cat headband. Bow included.
My silent stare stayed on the innocuous accesory, pondering whether or not I should use it. With a shrug I finally took it and placed it on my head. My reflection studied me back in the mirror, dark shadows under my eyes from lack of sleep, short stubble on my jaw that will have to be trimmed in a few days and a fluffy white cat headband over my almost greasy hair, making sure not a single strand would fall into the honey face mask I will apply in a few moments.
Mask applied, I sauntered back into the living room. Ready for my "self care" day.
"Should I turn on Episode 7 from Gossip Girl, Sargent Barnes?" Friday's voice fills the silence and I politely nod, getting comfortable on the sofa.
People started filling the, honestly, colossal screen when the lights suddently turned off and everything stopped in a click. At once my body fell into defensive stance.
"Friday?" Silence was the reply. Someone was inside the building and cut all communications. A murderous scowl graced my features, really? Now did those bastards decided to attack? When I could finally take time to myself and was about to watch Serena and Dan, those two idiots, acknowledge that they are crazy about each other? And not only that! They decided to mess with Friday. NO ONE messes with Friday. Of all the stupid times, they decided this one.
With a permanent frown in my face, I tiptoed towards the lab hellbent on bringing Friday back. While I make a quick work of restarting Friday and knocking out every single minion I can see, an emo over the top wannabe villain decided to make an appearance in the terrace. He was in the middle of a typical speech and I couldn't get arsed to listen anymore. I swiftly took my gun out of my sweatpants and shot him in the leg.
I tied them down in the open space, went to the nearest table and wrote each of them a lovely note with their bad deeds just to stick it to their chests. The sound of helicopter blades rotating around us could be heard but I decided to ignore it. My phone was ringing non stop, alarms were going off all over the compound. Regardless, my focus was on the seven bastards in front of me.
Eyes hodded, snarl on my lips, eyebrows crunched together and voice gravelly raised coming from my chest. "What did you do wrong?"
My hands tremble with contained rage, from one moment to another a knife has taken home between my fingers, pressing slightly into the throat of one of the aggresors.
"What did you do wrong?!?"
"We interrupted your self care day" One of them whimpers.
"That's fucking right, what do you say?"
"Sorry" All of them start to apologise with quivering voices. Eyes wide as saucers and fear etched into every single crease of their faces.
I take two of their arms roughly to make them stand, the rest following hastily as I callously force them to the entrance, where police cars can be seen. People running, shouting and pointing. My pace never wavers as I push them out of the door and they all but run to the police, talking on top of each other as they are handcuffed.
Fuckers.
I walk briskly back towards the building, day ruined. The phone keeps ringing and I send a message assuring everyone of my safety.
"All programs operating, my thanks, Sargent Barnes". Friday's voice resonates through the room and I finally start to relax.
"It's nothing, Friday. Glad to hear you back".
An hour later, the team arrives disheveled. Steve marching through the front door of the living room with a single minded look, footsteps quick and sure when he reaches me, looking me up and down. I roll my eyes at him. I'm fine, thought his care makes me smile slightly.
I see from the corner of my eye Tony's worried gaze, which he smoothes the moment he catches me looking, giving me an amused smile. Yet tension can be seen around his eyes and his posture.
My heart starts beating louder and faster, his worry warming my heart and making me feel what seems like hope, something I thought I had lost so long ago. Hands a little sweaty, I feel heat creeping up my neck.
"Glad to see the wonder pecs coming into town. Marvellous sweatpants by the way, Elsa, you truly do have the best taste." A small smile starts forming in his mouth, a familiar feeling swimming in his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, my feelings are not so lonely after all.
Nat's gleeful voice cuts our connection.
"This is the best thing I've seen since Clint got stuck at the top of the refrigerator". A video is being played in her phone.
A man without a shirt and kitty ears is shouting and yelling at some people in costumes. Messages start filling the comments section of the video, people thirsting about the man and making up theories on why he is wearing Iron Man merch.
Oh... Oh fuck.