you've got the wrong girl

"Hey, babe."

"Ew, what the fuck?"

"What's shakin', bacon?"

"Your fucking dentures."

"Aw, don't be like that, bro! These pearly whites are o' natural!"

Katsuki rolled his eyes, "What d'you want?"

Eijiro smiled at him from the doorway, casually crossing his arms and waiting to be let inside. Katsuki had his hands blocked on either side of the door. And even though they both knew that, eventually, they would talk, Katsuki still made a show of acting like a bouncer.

"You gonna ask for my license and registration?"

Katsuki hung his head with a sigh, "That's a police officer, you moron. Just get the hell inside."

"Yes sir," Eijiro said with a toothy grin and a mock salute. He pushed past the bouncer and spread his arms wide when he entered the room, "I'm in!"

"Yeah, you are, dumbass. Now the hell d'you want?"

His giddy best friend fell into a state of seriousness. His smile shifted to a gentle expression as if he remembered why he came here to begin with. Eijiro walked over and took a seat in Katsuki's desk chair, spinning from side to side as he tried to gather his thoughts.

Katsuki sat on the edge of his bed.

Eijiro sighed after a while, "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Katsuki asked with natural defensiveness.

"You seem kinda pissed at the Midoriya-Uraraka situation," he paused like he was waiting for input. He didn't get any, "Is there a…reason…for that?"

"Nah," Katsuki snapped too fast, "I–No, I mean no."

"Uh-huh…" Eijiro hummed with a sarcastic nod, "Totally believing you, bro."

"Look, I didn't ask you to barge into my fucking business. I never asked for your shitty therapy."

"This isn't therapy, we're friends! Friends help each other.

"Well, nothing’s bothering me. So you can get lost."

Eijiro sighed deeply, shaking his head, "It's no use lying, bro. I know you well enough. You can talk to me."

"It's fine! You're fucking overreacting!"

"Please, man. You're not weak for needing help or whatever else. Talking is helpful. Just talk to me, dude! No judgment."

The blond gave him a skeptical look, and Eijiro held his hands up in defeat.

Katsuki then went quiet, chewing on his lip, bouncing his knee. He didn't have a retort for that. That was the exact thing he was supposed to be learning how to do. To become vulnerable with people, so he could sympathize with those he was saving. More emotionally available or whatever the fuck. To become less of a ticking time bomb so he didn’t lose his shit at inappropriate times. Apparently, heroes weren’t supposed to do that. And he was going to be the best hero ever. He was used to thinking emotions equal weakness. But he learned they didn’t. Hell, Izuku was the strongest person Katsuki knew and he was comfortable with his emotions. Wasn’t he…?

He just didn’t want to be weak anyway.

So he said just that, "I'm not fucking weak, okay?"

"I know you're not, dumb dumb. Just talk to me, bro!"

Katsuki groaned, "Fine! It's annoying! Okay?!" He spread his arms like he had been caught, "You got me! Tell the paper, spread the word!" He cupped his hands over his mouth, "Hear-ye-fucking-hear-ye! Read all the fuck about it!"

"Hey, man, there's nothing wrong with feeling upset about it! I’m kinda irritated too."

“Why? ‘Cause Mina’s busy playin’ love vigilante instead of spending time with you?”

The look Eijiro gave him already confirmed the accusation. The redhead blushed and shrugged his shoulders awkwardly, “Mina can do whatever she wants.”

“You just wish she wanted to be with you instead.”

“Okay, stop changing the subject! This isn’t about me, we’re talking about you. Why is it bothering you?”

"Why do you think?" Katsuki tapped his head for emphasis like he was about to blow, "Somehow, you got a brain in there, so tell me what you think."

Katsuki could certainly tell his friend. He could. He just couldn't do it in a sappy, heart-to-heart manner because that was the opposite of him.

The opposite of the reputation he made himself.

Eijiro blinked at him "I–”

Katsuki erupted without waiting for an answer, "Round-face and her fucking pampered-up self, going all around–throwing herself in Izuku's face–and the damn nerd is too fucking clueless to realize she is practically salivating at his feet! Because he's too sweet to realize when someone is dropping hints like fucking dandruff!" He took a deep breath, "She could get on her knees and beg him to date her and the fucking idiot would still think that they're just friends! Because no matter how hard you try he just doesn't fucking understand that you could love him!"

His shoulders were heaving from effort. And Katsuki had stood up at this point, gesturing wildly with his hands. It just so happened that he was pointing at his chest when he said those last few words. He couldn’t convey how much it bothered him. He couldn't articulate it. All he could do was throw insults around and hope it came out as coherent reasoning.

Eijiro was staring at him with wide eyes, his mouth agape, trying to make sense of that outburst. His eyes followed Katsuki's expectant expression, down to his hand. The one pointing at his chest. The one that fell there naturally after Katsuki talked about someone loving Izuku.

What…

Katsuki stood with a look of anticipation, waiting for him to get it, watching Eijiro slowly forming it together. He wouldn’t admit it, but the longer his friend didn’t understand, the more anxious it made him. He just let it come out. But he wasn't afraid.

He saw it on his friend’s face. The way his eyebrows furrowed. He knew Eijiro wasn’t the best at puzzles, and he had been vague. Still, he hoped he got his point across.

And Eijiro’s brain slowly clicked the pieces in place. From the Ochako slander to the frustration about Izuku. Why would Katsuki be frustrated about Izuku not understanding love? His hand...there? Love Izuku? Katsuki…loves–?

Eijiro slammed his hands down on his knees, a loud slap startling the both of them.

"Wha–"

"YOU LOVE MIDORIYA?!" Eijiro shouted, hopping to his feet and rushing over to his friend.

Katsuki slapped a hand over his mouth, "Shit Kiri–Stop moving!

Eijiro was flailing around, "Ywog wuv Mirodwya?" He yelled into the blond's hand.

They fought against each other until Eijiro licked Katsuki's hand, which ultimately broke him free.

Katsuki gagged and wiped his hand on Eijiro's back, "Ew, what the fuck!? Ya got fucking cooties on me!"

"That's not how it works!"

"Don't tell me how cooties work!"

Eijiro gaped at him, his lips curled into a smile at the sides. He gestured with his arms uselessly. His eyes were wide. Really wide.

And abruptly Katsuki questioned whether or not he should’ve allowed his friend to come to this conclusion. He didn't want to get a bad reaction. Or, worse, a fucking dramatic one. But it was too late for that, he supposed.

He wasn't exactly hiding this. But he wasn’t open about it either. Nevertheless, he wasn't afraid to tell someone like Eijiro. He trusted him enough.

Finally, Eijiro released a string of manic, excited laughter, "BRO, holy shit!

"Pipe down, shark face!" Katsuki hissed through gritted teeth.

"You love Midoryia!"

"I'm going to shove love up your ass if you say that on more t–

"Bakugo!" Eijiro walked over to Katsuki and slapped two firm hands on his shoulders, "That's amazing! That's so manly, bro. Liking men is so manly!"

Katsuki flinched under the pressure, "Yeah," his voice was strained, "Um–"

He honestly didn't know where to go from there.

Eijiro sat down beside him with an unwavering grin, "Thank you for telling me. I'm honored to have your trust!"

"It's fine, don't make a big deal."

"Bro, don't downplay this. You've never talked about your crushes before."

"You happy I am?" Katsuki asked sarcastically.

"YES!" Eijiro screamed in his face, "YES I AM, THANK YOU FOR ASKING!"

"Shut up! You’re screaming at a billion fucking decibels."

"I'm sorry. Who else knows?"

Katsuki sighed, covering his ears in preparation, "You're the only o–"

"What! Bro!" Eijiro wiped a tear from his eye and pressed a hand to his heart, "This is such an honor!"

Katsuki gave him a nervous smile he hadn't grown into yet. He was used to emitting blazing confidence, but now, he felt like he had been stripped bare. Even if it was just one secret, it was one he hadn't admitted to anyone but himself.

As if reading his mind, his friend reassured him, "I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks," Katsuki mumbled.

"Of course," Eijiro paused, "So, you were jealous of Uraraka?"

Katsuki scoffed, "'Course I’m not fucking jealous of round-face."

"Man, we were on a roll. Let it out."

"Damn you," Katsuki groaned, "I'm just annoyed, that's fucking it."

"Oh–so you just feel an unnamed emotion where you wish you could be in Uraraka’s place because you want a romantic relationship with Izuku. Totally not jealous.

"Exactly.”

“Bro, I just defined jealousy.”

“Wrong! Jealousy is defined as--" Katsuki made a dramatization of thinking "--the feeling of envy of someone because of their ach–”

“Petty bitch,” Eijiro frowned, “You suck! And that was sent with love."

"Fuck–I'm just annoyed. Don't get it twisted. The day I'm jealous is the day Mineta gets some fucking bitches."

"Fair point,” He ran a hand through his hair in resignation, “I won't push you, dude. How long have you known?"

Katsuki's glare fell into a thoughtful expression. He frowned, bouncing his leg slightly harder. He didn’t know. That is, he couldn’t recall a time when he hadn’t loved Midoryia Izuku. All he could say was it had been forever. It had been through the misdirected hatred, the indescribable need to keep him close and to keep him safe.

It had been through the times he couldn't stand Izuku’s laughter. Just the sound made his heart clench. All he really wanted was to be the cause of that laughter. For those smiles to be thrown at him.

If he couldn't keep Izuku chasing after him forever, he would have to keep him close some other way.

And he would fight fire to stay by his side.

Katsuki shrugged his shoulders, "Long time."

Eijiro nodded with another smile, "I gotcha."

The two boys looked at each other.

"To tell the truth," Eijiro said, "I think Midoryia's been seeking you since the start."

Katsuki scoffed a little bitterly, "Don't say shit you don't mean."

"I mean it, dude. Don't give up."

"Whatever."

They sat in a bit of silence, basking in the conversation and everything that came through.

Until, Eijiro spoke up, "Can I hug you?" He outstretched his arms like a lost toddler seeing their mom for the first time in days.

Katsuki sighed deeply, looking down at the floor. "Fine," he grumbled.

As they hugged, they were unaware that in a very distant reality, Mineta did, in fact, get some bitches.