Who knew the multiverse could be so cruel.
One year and 5 months.
That’s how long he’s been gone.
One fucking miserable year and 5 months.
You stand in the room you used to share with the love of your life. Your Logan. Your Wolverine. A soft sigh escapes past your lips not realizing you were holding your breath as your lungs deflate. They say grief gets better with time. Who ever fucking said that is gonna get their ass kicked. It’s like you found out he died yesterday. The pain still lingering in your chest. Will the grief ever lessen?
….Do you want it to?
You frown at the thought and push it away. You need to pack; it’s been longer than 2 months since you’ve visited due to life around the mansion. The guilt eating at you everyday you don’t make the trip. Is he sad you’re not there yet? Does he think you forgot about him? You could never. You would never. A yellow duffel bag sits on the bed with neatly folded clothes inside along with some necessities. You didn’t need much for this trip. You often thought about moving to where he was buried to be with him but leaving this place you spent with him feels impossible. More guilt for you to suffer over later. A soft knock at the door rips you from your thoughts. Turning your head slightly to the door to see who it is as the door slowly opens to reveal Storm. Her presence is ever welcome.
“I just wanted to tell you to be safe on your trip to see him, and to ask if you’ll say hello for me.” She smiles sadly as she leans in the doorway. “I know it’s been a bit since you could visit him” You smile softly at her and nod as you zip up the duffel bag. “I feel awful that I haven't seen him. I don’t want him to think I don’t care.” You put on Logan’s jacket and adjust it to you. It was bigger on you, but you loved that. He did too.
She frowns some and walks inside the room a bit closer to you. “He doesn’t think that. He knows how deeply you care for him.” She walked closer and put her hand on your right shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. You turn to her fully as you sling the duffel bag over your left shoulder and smile some. “Thank you Ororo. That means a lot.” You give her hand a gentle squeeze and head to the dresser to grab your car keys. You thought about taking Logan’s bike, but the weather didn’t permit it. The roads are too dangerous. As much as you wanted to join Logan you knew he’d be angry if you did something so reckless. You grab the keys and grip them tightly as you take a deep breath. You hold it for a second before letting it slowly dissipate. You turn back to Storm and look around the room before looking back at her. “Make sure no one comes in while I’m gone?’
She nods and walks out of the room with you shutting the door behind her. “I promise. Would you like me to walk out with you?” You shake your head and give her a grateful smile. “No, thank you. I’ll be back soon. Be safe, Storm.” You nod at her and turn down the hall walking to the main entrance. You knew your room was safe while you were gone. The thought of someone going in and ruining the last memories of him hurts to think about.
You get to the car and unlock it before getting inside. The duffel bag sat in the passenger side seat. You sigh and turn on the ignition. This drive is gonna be a bitch.
_________________________________________________________________
You were right. This drive was a bitch.
You drive your car down an old, abandoned road and park off the side hidden away in case someone does drive by. You step outside the car and the cold air steals your breath. He just had to be Canadian huh? The walk in the woods was silent and peaceful. The sunlight shines through the trees making the snow sparkle. Birds softly chirped and flew freely in the air. You watched them as you walked to where your husband lay wishing you could join them. Wishing you were free of life’s burdens as them. You could see why he loved it here. It is truly beautiful. Guilt rose like bile in your throat as you think about how you could have built a life with him here, but the Mansion got in the way. There was just never enough time. Hot tears stung your eyes, and you quickly try to blink them away. You weren’t ready to cry just yet.
The path was long, but it was so others couldn’t find your husband. Use him for god knows what. He was done being experimented on. He deserved to rest.
You finally look up from the ground while lost in your thoughts as a foul stench lingers in the air. It makes you freeze in confusion and suspicion. Why was there rot? You scan the area slowly as you come out of the brush and spot it. Fresh dirt lay piled up while a deep gaping hole taunted you. The grave had been dug up. His grave has been dug up. Disbelief shot through you as you got closer to the grave. Your chest heaving slightly as panic rises inside you.
Was he actually alive? Did he do this? A shovel lay beside the dirt and the realization crushes you. You curse yourself for even thinking he was alive. Something tugs at you as you stare into the hole that had devoured your husband’s body not that long ago. It was empty. Empty? It dawns on you as your body shakes. His body is gone. Where is his body? Who took him?
You feel like vomiting. Where is he? Where is your Logan?
Panic grips you tightly as your chest heaves from trying to fill your lungs with air but it was as if you had forgotten how to breathe. This couldn’t be happening. No fucking way. This isn’t real.
You slowly look up from the grave and survey the area around you. Bodies lay scattered around. By the state of them they’ve been here awhile but not too long. Maybe about a month by their smell. God the fucking smell. It burned your nostrils from their rot. You slowly leave the grave to get closer to the bodies to inspect them. The bodies wore odd armor. Grey and orange. You had never seen this kind before. It’s not the US military style or SWAT. You stare at the corpses and notice some are missing limbs, faces caved in, heads missing. “Jesus who fucked these guys up?” you mutter before something catches your eye. The sun shines on something causing a glare to obscure it. Muttering in confusion as you walk closer it reveals itself.
A skull.
A metal skull. Logan’s skull.
So not only did someone dig up his grave but they tore apart his body? You felt your body collapse to your knees and trembling hands slowly reached out to his skull picking it up oh so gently. You gently turn his skull over in your hand and caressing the side of his skull staring into where his eyes would have been. God his eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes. Happiness melted away into anger. Whoever fucking did this is gonna get their fucking skin ripped off. You held his skull close to your chest as rage boiled through your body. Your claws slowly grew out of your fingers as your body shook. They’re gonna pay. You’re gonna make them fucking pay.
You headed over to the grave and gently set down his skull beside the hole. You then sniffled as you turned to the bodies scattered around the area. You finally noticed that some of them had silver bones sticking out of them. His own bones were used as a weapon? What sick fuck would do this to him? You carefully gather his skeleton and gently place it back into his grave as in order as you could get. Before fully putting his body back together you smell his bones to get the scent of who did this. A scent lingered past the rot, and You tilt your head in confusion. You knew this smell? But from who? Scowling you put his skull to your forehead and move it down to your lips to kiss the top of it softly. “I’m gonna find who did this to you baby, and I’m gonna fucking kill them. I promise”
You set his skull down gently and step outside the grave. A sob threatens to spill from your throat, and you grimace. No. No crying right now. You need to find the fucker who did this, and crying won’t do that. After grabbing the shovel, you start to fill the dirt back into the grave. Watching the wet earth swallow your love once again.
After burying him a second time you place the rocks back over the grave. You wish you could protect his body more securely. Once finished you sniff the air trying to find more of the scent that was on his bones. Who the hell is that? You swore you knew it. You walk over to the bodies again and sniff, forcing yourself to push past the rot. You were getting closer. You could feel it. Rage once again boils inside as confusion swirls around you. A scream of frustration and despair rips from past your lips as you kick one of the bodies. Tears filling your eyes and threatening to spill down your cheeks.
That’s when you notice it. So small you didn’t even see it earlier. The tiniest piece of red fabric stuck to the body you kicked. The fabric didn’t match any of the other bodies and you bent over to pick it up. Rubbing the fabric between your thumb and pointer finger you could tell it was some type of durable spandex or maybe thin leather. You brought your hand to your nose and sniffed the material.
Now you know where you knew that smell. That sickly sweet yet smokey smell, the red material.
Deadpool.
Questions swirled in your head as well as anger. Why the fuck did he want Logan? Why did he use Logan’s body like that? He better have a good explanation. You weren’t really in the mood to ask questions first though. You were gonna rip that skull of his open and shred his fucking brains apart. After making sure Logan’s grave was fixed and respectfully put back together. You face the X grave marker and smile sadly at it “I love you so much Logan.” You blow a kiss to him and wave at his grave before turning around and heading back down the path. You slammed the car door shut after you get inside so hard the window cracks and shove the key into the ignition. After starting the car you slam your foot on the gas and screech out into the road. You were gonna find that freak and kill him every time he came back.
_____________________________________________________________
Wade giggles as he sets down the groceries. He had been riling up the big guy, Logan, for the past hour. Man, everything just gets under his guy’s skin! They had just gotten back from shopping for the house. Logan grabbing several bottles of whiskey and Wade grabbing an obscene amount of sugarpop’s cereal. They, totally, of course, got more than just that though. They needed to be somewhat healthy. Logan snarls as he slams the front door closed following close behind Wade who seemed to be running away from him. “You got a fucking death wish, Bub?”
Wade looks at him and gasps as he reaches for his nonexistent pearls. “Now, why, Logan, would you say that? Hm?” He puts one hand on his hip and tilts his head forward as he points at Logan. “All I said was that you,” he leans in and boops Logan’s nose who’s eye twitches in anger. “My dear, sweet, lonely, sad, angry honey badger need some hanky pankey.”
Logan stared at Wade in anger and disbelief. You could just feel the waves of rage radiate off him. He cocks his head some to the side as if daring Wade to speak more.
Wade tilted his head as he looked at the enraged man “Ya know, the horizontal tango? bumpin’ uglies? shaking sheets? bam-bam in the ham? bedroom rodeo? doinking?!?” When Logan didn’t give him anything but a snarl, He then gasped loudly as shock filled his face “Oh my god Logan you don’t know what sex is! No! no! This simply won’t do” he shakes his head then puts his hands on Logan’s shoulders “Don’t worry my grumpy little peanut, we’ll get that dick of yours all juiced up you’ll be pumping out rainbows!!” He nods as he grins thinking it was the perfect idea to get his friend in a better mood.
Logan snarled loudly and ripped Wade’s hands off his shoulders “I KNOW WHAT SEX IS!” He felt fucking childish even saying that out loud. That stupid mother fucker thinking Logan didn’t know what sex was or even thinking he needed it. He didn’t want to touch anyone; the thought alone disgusted him. It made him think of her...NO! No, he won’t think of her…. he can’t.
He shoved past Wade and grabbed a whiskey bottle from the table, quickly ripping the cap off and tilting it back letting the warm liquid burn his throat. He relished in the feeling.
He deserved it. Wade kept yapping on in the back about getting him out there and letting loose. Logan tilted his head to the side as he grimaced from the constant chatter. He slams the whiskey bottle down on the counter as some whiskey dribbles down his chin. He doesn’t even bother wiping it away “Can you just shut. the fuck. Up.”
Wade scoffed and put his hands on his chest “Oh excuuUUSEee me Mr. grumpy pants for trying to bring the mood UP around here!” He scoops up Dogpool and lets the dog lick his face and into his mouth “awh Yeah, he is just a gwumpy wumpy man isn’t he! Isn’t he?! He’s just so angry from holding all those big man feelings” Wade spoke in a baby voice to Dogpool and Logan glared as he stepped closer to Wade.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up I’m gonna make ya, Bub.” He clenches his fists letting the claws slowly come out as he tilted his head cracking his neck. He wasn’t in the mood for Wade’s antics today. This day was just pure shit. He had woken up that morning after dreaming, no, having a nightmare of her. Always the same damn one. Her smiling up at him so sickeningly sweet. As if she thinks he’s worth her love. Hearing her voice whisper his name like it’s a siren's call. He couldn’t resist her. He needed her…but did he tell her that? No. He was a coward. She had put her hand on his cheek and leaned in slowly to whisper in his ear “You killed me….but why would you care? I was just an easy slut for you”
No, NO, no she wasn’t. He loved her. God, he fucking loved her and he couldn’t save her. He grabbed her and pulled her back to look at her. To tell her that he did love her but his body froze when he saw what was before him. Her charred body limp in his arms with her head tilted over one eye that was visible staring at him. Panic rises through him as he goes to pull his hand away only for burned flesh to stick to his hands and make a sickening noise as it peeled away. “Oh Logan.” She lets out a soft laugh as blood begins to slowly pour out of her mouth “it’s all. Your. Fault.”
He had woken up that morning letting out a guttural yell as his claws stabbed through the couch causing fluff to fly in the air. He heaved as he wildly looked around to understand where he was. He wasn’t in her room. He was in the apartment he shared with Wade and Blind Al. Fuck her couch. He was gonna have to pay her back for that. When he checked the cabinet for his whiskey, he found it empty. He had forgotten to get some the other day. Of course, he fucking did. He just couldn’t do anything right now could he?
Wade ‘ooooed’ at Logan letting out his claws and set Dogpool down on the ground gently. He then raised his arms slowly “All right big guy. Let’s-”
A couple loud bangs slam on the front door cutting whatever the hell Wade was gonna say off.
“DEADPOOL I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!”
Logan’s blood ran cold. No..no it can’t be. He knew that voice. You were dead. He saw your body at the mansion. There’s no way you survived. He stared at the door as his nostrils flared your sweet smell hitting his senses instead of charred rotting flesh. Wade’s eyes instantly went wide as he stared at the door. Oh, Fuck! He knew why you were here. He knew he had forgotten to do something. Logan whips his head to Wade to ask how they fuck he knew you. The door soon busted open and slammed hard into the wall. The doorknob leaves a deep dent in it.
You locked eyes with Wade and tilted your head as you snarled “Oh Wade? Would you like to tell me something?” You were gonna give him one chance to explain himself. You stepped into the room as your body shook with rage. He laughed nervously and shook his head at you.
“WHAT?! Pffffttt no!! I mean I definitely did NOT use the Wolverine’s body to kill those guys. That would like, be, SO wrong of me.” He turned to look at you but found your fist connecting with his jaw hard enough to dislocate it. He stumbled back a bit, and you kicked him back into the wall. “WHY?! Why did you need his body Wade?” You walked over to him, tears began to fill your eyes as you snarled. “Why did you use his body like that?” You grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him close. “You not only dug up my husband but used Logan’s body. His BONES WADE!” Tears started to blur your vision as you gripped him tightly. You let him go with one hand and raised it to punch him again only for someone to catch your wrist.
You quickly whipped around snarling as you did so. No, they weren’t going to stop this. You deserved this. You were gonna get revenge for your husband. For Logan, for….Logan?
You stare up at the man who looked like your husband, but it wasn’t your husband. This version was younger, yet his face was aged so much. His hair is shorter but sporting his old Wolverine hair style. Oh, how sad you were when he got rid of that style, but this wasn’t your husband. You don’t know who this is, but it wasn’t him. His grip on your wrist tight as if he was trying to figure out if you were real. The look he gave you matched yours. Anger, confusion, and sadness.
Two strangers staring at the other trying to find one another.
Logan had watched you enter the apartment seething with rage. He had never seen you so enraged. In fact, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you angry at all in his universe. You were always laughing and smiling. There was hardly ever a bad day with you around. He was still frozen in place as he watched you. It was like his body was cemented to the very spot he stood. Your snarl matched his very own when he would sport one. He briefly wonders if you got it from him. He heard what Wade said and looked at the ball sack looking man in anger. Wade did what with his body? He listens to you speak about him and his eyes widen as he realizes who he was to you. He was your husband. He married you. They were right about one thing about this universe version of him. He wasn’t a fucking coward but this Logan? Oh, but he was.
He didn’t even realize his body had moved when he found your wrist in his hand. He held it tightly as he stared down at you. You were real. He half expected his hand to phase through you, but it held on. You weren’t a ghost or a nightmare. He stares into your eyes and his heart clenches in an ocean of emotions. There was so much anger and sadness in them. They matched his own. “That’s enough y/n”
Disbelief fills your senses. You didn’t know who this Logan was but hearing him say your name broke your heart. You thought would have given anything to hear it again but then he did….and it fucking hurt. It hurt so goddamn much because this isn’t your Logan. This was some other one that stared at you like he fucking knew you when he didn’t. Anger fills you once again as you rip your wrist from him and glare. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but this doesn’t involve you.” You stand up and step back away from him. His touch lingering on your wrist. The soft warm feeling fading away to coldness.
He was taken aback but it quickly faded as he scoffed. Of course you didn’t want anything to do with him. You wanted the other version of him. The one that wasn’t a complete fuck up. He glared back at you and stepped back as if being by you now burned him. Wade quickly sat up after fixing his jaw and laughed “Okay! Okay! I deserved that but now, now, children, let's sit down and I’ll explain everything since the author doesn’t know how to get her shit together and make everything conclusive.” You stared at Wade in anger. You fucking hated when he talked like this.
“You better have a good reason for this Wade or I’m gonna tear your jaw off and shove it up your ass” You walked over to the table and pulled out a chair before letting your body fall into it and Logan did the same just opposite of you. Wade giggles as he winks at you “Oh y/n! don’t threaten me with a good time~” He sat down at the head of the table and grabbed a notepad. Of course he had to explain this in drawings. How else would he do it?
It took over two long fucking hours to explain why he had used Logan’s body, why there was another Logan who was apparently the “worst” one, and that the universe was doomed to be erased and the TVA went to Deadpool for help. You could feel his eyes on you the entire time when Deadpool explained. It made your skin crawl. They didn’t feel comforting or loving but suspicious. Who were you to him? You were obviously someone he knew well but with the way he was looking at you, you couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing. You had thought you’d seen fear in his eyes when he looked at you the first time.
Your eyes finally drifted over to the man wearing your husbands face. He looked so tired and worn. Your eyes trace the wrinkles on his face, and you wonder how much older this version was. You knew there were other universes. It would be ignorant of you to assume there wasn’t. It just never crossed your mind that there could be more of him. Your eyes met and your breath hitched in your throat. He narrowed his eyes and sat back in the chair to observe you. You notice and narrow yours back. His staring was starting to feel judgmental.
Wade had stopped talking for a while and was staring at the both of you. The screeching of his chair broke the staring war. “Okay you two! Play nice while daddy’s gone! I’m gonna give you two some space.” He grabbed Dogpool and held her close as he left quickly. One to give the two of you some space but mostly to get away from you. He knew threats from you weren’t to be taken lightly.
Once Wade had left the room Logan looked at you again. You scoffed at Wade leaving. Of course, he just left you in a room with a guy who is a version of your very much dead husband. This man was a stranger. You didn’t know him, and he certainly didn’t know you. How do even you start a conversation with him? “This is ridiculous.” You had muttered under your breath not even meaning to say it out loud, but he heard you.
He glared at you and grabbed the whiskey bottle he had slammed down earlier. He tilted it back and quickly drank most of the bottle. He wasn’t about to talk to you sober. He didn’t know what to expect from you and he certainly didn’t expect that comment to sting like it did. Was talking to him so bad? Maybe it hurt to seem him just like it killed him to see you.
You watch him swallow most of the bottle and you grimace. He was a drunk. Made sense after hearing most of his backstory and what happened to him. You didn’t blame him there. He had seen your grimace and took it the wrong way, as if you judged him. He sets the bottle down and wipes his mouth as anger rises in him. “Oh what? Was he so perfect for you? The selfless hero wasn’t a drunk? Good for fucking him.” He took another quick swig and set the bottle on the table hard “You know I’m not him, right?”
Anger rippled through you at his harsh comments. Your Logan was far from perfect, but he didn’t act like this. Like a sad pathetic drunk. “Of course I do. He was better than you. He certainly wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t act like this” You stood up from the table and looked at him “and I’m not her. I don’t know who I was to you, and I don’t give a shit, but given how scared you were looking at me I’m sure you fucked that up too.” That’s it. You’ve gone too far but he has too. Your comments buried deep into his chest. He stood up as well sending his chair flying back and falling over on the floor.
“You don’t fucking know me.” He snarled at you and stepped a bit closer getting in your space. He watched your every move. He knew why he was angry but part of him knew it wasn’t fully at you. He didn’t fucking care at the moment though. Those disgusted looks from you had set him off.
“And I don’t want to” you lied.
“Feelings mutual, bub” He too was lying.
You did want to get to know him. His story was heartbreaking. You knew something bad had happened to you based off the way he acted around you from just seeing you. But he was also cruel. His anger warping you. Thing is when you and Logan fought it was like this at first. Feeding off one another’s anger until you either fucked or fought. You had finally in the past decade learned how to talk to one another but that was before with your Logan, not this one. “I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk to me like this because you’re upset. I came here to get answers, and I got them. I’m still pissed at Wade for what he did so tell him to keep an eye out.”
He didn’t make a move to stop you as you walked by him. He didn’t even want to look at you. Your words echoing in his head. Of course you didn’t You got to the door and opened it about to step outside into the lonely hallway. You stop in the doorway holding onto the frame.
A moment lingered in the air.
Two strangers desperately in love with the other version of one another. Strangers seeking comfort but too scared to receive it
Do you stay and get to know him? Or do you leave and possibly regret not talking to him? Questions swirled in your head. Would you be replacing your Logan with him? Does he get a second chance with you in this universe and make up for his mistakes? Would he be erasing you if he did?
You sigh deeply and let go of the doorframe.