Cigars and Jameson's Whiskey
His words echo in your head.
“Get. Out. I don’t want to get to know you or even see you, understand? So, get. the fuck. out.”
He had said that to you when you had turned around to speak to him. You knew deep down you couldn’t let your anger; your pride get in the way of knowing him. He didn’t even look at you when he said it. His back facing you as he gripped the whiskey bottles neck so tight his knuckles turned white.
It had almost been two months since then, but the words had buried into your chest. The sting from them never fading. You had come home and told the others what happened and about the new Logan. The news baffled some and confused others, but they all watched you cautiously as if you might break. You weren’t about to show them how much this was tearing you apart. You saw the stares and heard the whispers. It was like they were waiting for you to break down and lose it. You weren’t about to give them that.
Xavier had made sure you were okay. Him and Storm knew the turmoil boiling deep inside your mind and made sure to keep checking on you. Xavier did admit he was curious about meeting this new Logan. He wondered just how alike he was with this universe’s Wolverine. Xavier had listened carefully when you spoke of what you knew of this new Logan. He nodded along and hummed as he thought. He had looked at you with those kind and understanding eyes and posed a question that made your heart seize in panic. “I know this is a difficult ask and you are more than free to say no to this acquisition, but would you be okay with this Logan coming to the institute to see the others? From the sounds of it seems this could do him some good to know they are alive and okay here along with possibly learning more about his universe.”
The question sent you thoughts spiraling as panic slowly bloomed in your chest. Your eyes had searched the ground as you tried to grasp a single thought. Xavier sensed this and put his hand on your shoulder to calm you “Y/n is perfectly okay if you don’t wish for-“
“He can come to the institute.”
Your eyes widened in surprise. You didn’t even realize you had said it until it had spilled from your lips. Your soul knew deep down he needed that, as if something whispered into your heart to let him see them. He needed to know they were alive and well.
Xavier nodded and smiled softly at you. “That is kind of you y/n. I know it will be hard to see him so we will understand if you don’t wish to be in the same room as him. I will also make the preparations for reaching out, so you don’t have to deal with it.”
You had heard Logan had lost it when he saw Xavier again. Well that’s what you were told by Jubilee so you didn’t truly know. He thought he was hallucinating until Xavier had calmed him down and explained everything to him. It had made you feel bad for the guy, and you understood his pain. It’s harder to grieve your loved ones when someone who looks just like them stands in front of you as if mocking your suffering.
You still remember the day just a month ago when he first stepped foot into the mansion. His smell wafted through the long halls. Cigar smoke and Jameson’s whiskey. For a brief, tortuous, second your mind tricked you into thinking your Logan was home, and you had rushed to the door only for your hand to hover over the doorknob. No…no it wasn’t your Logan. It was him.
You placed your forehead gently on the door closing your eyes as tears slowly welled in your eyes. How long until the pain fades? How long until you stop reaching for him?
Logan coming to the mansion had been an…. Adjustment for everyone. The others had greeted him cautiously and separately to not over crowd and stress out the man. They noted his attitude was worse but given what he had gone through it was understandable. They also saw how he looked at Jean Grey as if she was the stars emerging after a storm. The news had oddly crushed you. Why would you care? He wasn’t yours but yet it brought up past hurts with your Logan. He was in love with this universe’s Jean. Was every Wolverine destined to love Jean Grey? The idea made jealousy pour over you but were you even allowed to be? Turmoil boiled in your stomach.
Beast was the happiest to see the new Logan. He had several questions for the man, and you knew he missed his greatest friend. It made you happy to see him so excited like this again. You knew you weren’t the only one grieving the loss of your Logan. You promised Jubilee some baked goods in exchange for keeping up tabs on the new Logan. You didn’t want to speak to him or see him. He had made his wish clear, but you needed to know how he was doing at the mansion, what he was like and how different he was. Jubilee had yet to report due to some recent missions getting in the way but knew she was trying when she could.
You stare up at the ceiling in thought as the sun slowly started to peek its light into the room. You turn your head slightly to look at the spot your logan would have been laying if he were with you. You slowly place your hand where his chest would have been and grip the sheets gently. Sighing, you scoot over and place your head on his pillow and inhale his scent. It was slowly fading and the fear of losing it completely devastated you.
Flopping back onto your side you groan softly and rub your face, pushing your cheeks up to your eyes and back down. Glancing at the alarm clock beside you reading 7:00 AM. Thank God it was the weekend, and you had no classes demanding your presence. The thought of being around a lot of people today made you groan at the thought. Still, you couldn’t just lay in bed and rot even though the idea sounded wonderful.
You sit up and stretch, letting your back slowly pop before swinging your legs over the bed, letting your feet hit the carpet. Today felt like a great day to train in the simulation room. You needed to turn off your mind and just hit something in a semi healthy way. You pick up the framed picture of you and Logan on your wedding day. You had your head thrown back laughing happily as he held you close in a threshold carry walking down the aisle. He grinned as he was looking at you. You smile softly at the picture and give the picture of him a soft kiss. “Good morning, my love.”
After setting the picture back down you headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. You were brushing your teeth mindlessly before you made eye contact with yourself in the mirror making you brush slowly. The bags under your eyes today seemed worse than normal. You frown and use your free hand to examine them. You halfway thought of putting makeup on them to cover them but threw the idea out. You would sweat it off training anyway. You glance back at them but sighed in annoyance and continued to finish brushing your teeth. You didn’t fucking care about them anymore. You had more things to worry about such as his scent going past your room.
It made you still in your spot. It never fails to unnerve you. You knew he smelled you also. Did it bother him as much as it did for you? Why was he even going to this part of the mansion? You frown worrying he was getting a room on the same floor as you. Surely, he wouldn’t knowing you would be near him at all times? A storm of thoughts swirled as you continued getting ready for the day. Jesus, you didn’t fucking need this right now.
You had admittedly been avoiding the man as if he carried the plague. The second his smell hit your nose you would go out of your way to get away from it. No one minded since they knew it had to be hard to see him, but a few wondered why you would fully avoid him. Wouldn’t you want to know your love from another universe? Yes. Dear fucking god you wanted to get to know him, but he made it clear he didn’t want to get to know you. So why even try?
Once his scent faded away to almost nothing, you gathered your things for the day and headed to the simulation chamber desperate to quiet your mind. It seemed it desired to head in a cruel direction. You made sure to take the long way to the chamber. You were desperate to get there but not enough to run into Logan by chance. You said hello to students as you passed but could feel the stares. It had gotten much worse when Logan arrived. You frown and walk quicker to the chamber.
You sigh in relief when you get down the simulation chamber and open the doors to the computer side to put in the type of training you craved. You spot Scott and tilt your head as you step inside closing the doors behind you. “Hey there. Are you currently using the room? I don’t want to intrude if you were”
He shook his head and smiled at you. “Not at the moment, I just came in here to get away from…him” He sighed and leaned back in the chair as he gazed down to the training room below. You nod understanding what he meant completely, and he looks at you softly from behind his red sunglasses “I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s much worse for you. Hell, this guy looks just like Logan, it’s insane. Yet has an even worse attitude”
You sigh deeply and sit beside him. You remembered how you and him both felt when your Logan was madly in love with Jean. The hurt climbing back into your heart as you turn your head to the sullen man beside you. Was this Logan pinning after Jean again? Was Jean doing anything to stop it if he was? “It’s like seeing his ghost walking around. They smell the exact same. I keep thinking Logan will just walk right into our room like he never died.” You shook your head and frowned as you looked back down to the training room. “Has he been getting weird around Jean?”
He sighs and nods as he crosses his arms “It’s...weird. He looks at her as if she knows his soul in and out, but yet doesn't flirt with her. The attitude is definitely worse though. I keep trying to approach him but i think some feelings from his other universe still linger.” You chuckled and nod as you listen, but anger slowly poisoned your mind. What about her made every Wolverine lose his mind? You were getting sick of it. You type in the type of training you wanted for the day. Bashing and tearing sentinels apart sounded cathartic, and you look at Scott “Want to blast some machines apart? I planned on smashing my anger out today.”
He chuckled and smiled as he shook his head no. “Thank you for the offer and for listening but I should go speak to Xavier. I had some ideas for the team to try on our next mission.” He stood up and placed a strong hand on your shoulder. “Have fun in there but be careful to not go overboard, okay? This Logan may be here, but you are essential to this team.”
You nod and smile, his words making you feel seen “Of course. Thank you, Scott. Really.” He nods and leaves the chamber and you to your thoughts. It slightly made you feel better knowing some of the others had felt somewhat the same about the new Logan. You look over the console and find the aux cord to connect your phone to the speakers inside the training room. You picked your favorite playlist and set the phone down. The music filled the room as you headed down inside the room. Once inside you pushed a few controls on a side panel to let the training room know you were ready for it to begin the simulation.
The room engulfed in darkness as smoke slowly rose from the ground. Fire sparked and grew in random areas but away from you. Crushed walls and concrete laid scattered as a smaller version of a sentinel walked out from behind a destroyed building. This version was 8 ft tall compared to the giant ones the team often fought. You rolled your neck in a circle as your claws started to grow quickly, the music getting your adrenaline pumping. Oh, this was gonna be fun.
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Sweat dribbled down your chest as you heaved quickly. Your claws dug deep into a sentinel’s neck. You had jumped onto its back and wrapped your legs around its chest locking your ankles together to make sure you stayed put. Metal creaked as you slowly pulled its head off. Your muscles shook as the head tore away from the body. The wires from inside crackled and you quickly threw the head at another sentinel before pulling your legs back from the one you were on. You snarled as you launched onto the one you threw the head at. It had stumbled back due to the head smashing into its chest. You landed in front of it on all fours and started crawling towards it quickly.
Then something quickly takes you out of it. Cigars and Jameson’s Whiskey strongly filled your nostrils as you quickly looked up to the observation deck. There he stood with Hank as they watched you. Hank smiled big and waved at you from above. You made eye contact with him for the first time since that day. It sent shockwaves through you as you tried to read them. Hank’s voice over the intercom suddenly ripped you away from the man’s eyes.
“Y/N WATCH OUT!”
You snapped your neck quickly to the sentinel that had stumbled back to find it now inches away. It used its leg and swiftly landed a devastating kick into your chest. The momentum sending you flying as its leg went up, your body following along with it. Your back hit the wall with a sickening thud as the back of your head bounced off the wall. Your body slid down the wall quickly making you roll onto your side when you landed on the floor. You groan as you try to move but everything screamed in protest for you to stay still. Blood slowly leaked out from the corner of your mouth leaving a metallic taste on your tongue.
You flutter your eyes open to see the simulation was turned off. The bright lights burning when your eyes flicked open. The sound of the training room doors being sliced made you turn your head slightly, but your eyes stayed closed. It was too bright and God you were so tired. Sleep calling your name like a sirens call.
Warm hands gently cradled your head, and something cast a shadow over you shielding you from the bright lights. You slowly opened your eyes, and your heart leapt at the sight. Your Logan was kneeling beside you holding your head. Your heart raced as you looked at him. He looked just like he did the day you lost him. He looked down at you and smiled. “Hey there, sugar”
Your vision blurred slightly from the impact as you stare up at him as tears filled your eyes “James?” He tilts his head a little as you slowly reach out, putting your hand on the side of his face softly caressing his cheek with your thumb.“Oh James, I’ve missed you so much.”
A tear rolled down your cheek and before it can go into your hairline, he wipes it away softly. "I've missed you so much too. More than you know."
Your lip trembled “Please let me go with you. I can't stand it anymore.” Your voice shook as tears freely spilled down your cheeks.
"Stay with me, sugar. I need you here" His voice sounded faint as tears blurred your vision more before the darkness started to cave in.
Logan faded from your view as your eyes drifted closed. Mumbled voices spoke quickly, and you felt your body lift up from the ground. Strong arms held you close to a warm body. Your eyes refused to open as wind blew past you quickly sending a shiver to prick at your skin as a hand held your head steady. A scent wrapped itself around you like a blanket filling your body with warmth as you faded out of consciousness.
Cigars and Jameson’s Whiskey.