“What the fuck is that thing?!” Jason screamed, almost shrilly despite the voice modulator of his helmet.
A giant, oily-looking black… monster shot out of the rubble, a giant grin on its terrifying face. Jason shot at it repeatedly, point blank, with no real results.
It scaled the walls easily and its tongue hung out like a friendly dog in the sun, but it was anything but. It had bit the heads off of five of Penguin’s goons.
“Uhhh, I don’t know,” Tim said, eloquently. He was currently beating back the few goons left while the group attempted to get at the door leading to the prize and goal of the mission: the office where the computer was.
“Well, I would say that—“ Damian began haughtily, but was cut off by the monster stretching its sticky limb out to hoist him away.
Dick yelped, running for the stairs that lead the second level, where a balcony stretched along the whole building, facing the court-like interior.
Steph snickered, easily punching through the onslaught of goons. Damian had been a brat all day, and therefore she believed he deserved getting snatched.
“Karma’s a bitch—“ she sang under her breath.
“I shoulda known better!” Jason finished.
“If I had a—absolutely not, you scary thingy-ma-bobber! Leave him alone!” Dick shrieked, and Tim could hear the sounds of punches being thrown.
“I DO NOT CARE IF IT IS A CHILD. IT IS OBVIOUSLY EVIL.” The monster spoke loudly, so much so Tim could hear it over the comms.
Steph paused mid fight and shrugged. “He’s not wrong.”
“I am NOT evil,” Damian snapped.
“Guys, remember, let’s please be kind…” Dick said. The creature roared at him, and jumped back down to the inside courtyard.
“Gentle parenting never worked on me, Dickwing!” Jason said, shooting at the creature again. “Why won’t you fucking die?!”
“GOODBYE STRANGELY DRESSED HUMANS.” And then the creature launched itself into the night sky.
Steph ran out to track it, but soon came back, shaking her head. “I lost it way too quick. What even is that thing?”
“I think it’s some race of alien,” Tim said, trying to clutch at his ribs without being noticed. Steph, however, noticed his wince of pain and moved to stand next to him. Dick cartwheeled towards them, and the group formed a small circle.
“Are you alright, Robin?” Tim asked Damian. Damian ignored him, making Steph roll her eyes.
“Okay, so alien. It obviously cannot die. But it didn’t really try to hurt us…” Dick was musing, a finger at his chin.
“I don’t really care if it didn’t try to kill us, it was fucking terrifying.” Jason shuddered.
“Well, I think–”
“Who do we call for this typa situation?” Steph drawled, cutting Damian off. He huffed.
Tim could see Dick mouthing the words, “Ghost Busters” before he shook himself.
“Yeah, who do we call?” He said.
They all looked to Tim. He stared at them confusedly for a second and then said, “oh, right. Um.” He turned away and started walking in his typical imaginary thinking circle. “Hood, what’s the word for hero but–”
“Anti-hero.”
“Right. I think it’s some strain of vigilante, ‘anti-hero’--”
“Like Taylor Swift,” Steph whispered, and Jason nodded sagely.
“--and based on the behavioral evidence it almost seems to be on a child-like level of intelligence, with a rather large thirst for violence. It appears to be new to town, or I feel it would have known who we were. My evidence stands from where it was hesitant to engage with Spoiler and I after we appeared.”
“Didn’t really answer the question…” Dick murmured.
“I concur with Red Robin. I believe this situation should be handled delicately based on its moral code and exhibited behavior.” They all turned to Damian.
“What?” He demanded.
Dick only beamed, and ruffled the baby bird's hair. “Let’s go write all this down in the cave and do some research. Good job, gang!”
Dick, Jason, and Damian began evacuating the building, talking amongst themselves, while Tim and Steph went to look at the computer.
“It was really scary,” Steph murmured.
“Yeah, it was. I didn’t really like it all that much. I wonder what this means for Gotham…” Tim mused.
“But it was kinda nice being physically scary, ya know? Rather than just emotionally or mentally scary.”
“Like instead of wanting to destroy our minds and humanity, it just wants to stomp around and bite heads off?”
“Yeah! Kinda refreshing, right?”
He laughed, pulled his flashdrive out, and clicked a few buttons to destroy all the data on the current hard drive.
“Yeah. It kinda is.”
€ € €
“Shit shit shit shit double shit—“
“EDDIE. IT IS ALRIGHT.”
“Where the fu—“
“EDDIE.”
“—Different dimensions again ugh I just wanted to take a shower—“
“HM YES A SHOWER WOULD BE VERY NICE.”
“—I know, right? Anyways. But sweet J—“
“WE CAN STILL TAKE A SHOWER EDDIE.”
“—I am so done with all of this shit and—“
€ € €
Tim was bored at work.
Again.
You can only upgrade your security system, hack into your security system, hack into your competitor’s security system, create a new AI to help your employees, and build the whole city of Gotham on Minecraft (and all this after doing all the work he was actually paid to do) before you get bored.
So when a little notification from a new social media account was made (he made a whole new app just a few weeks ago. Ya know. Facebook just wasn’t doing it for him anymore), he watched the screen with half lidded eyes as he opened up to stalk—ahem—research his newest user.
Interesting.
He sat up, slouching horribly in his chair as he got closer to the screen. Most people who used this app were employees or wannabe employees, and a few supportive members of Gotham’s elite.
Right away Tim could see this guy was new to Gotham. A few made up company references, a communications degree from a random community college in San Francisco, a photo of a motorcycle, nothing too alarming there.
But there was something about the look of this guy…
Tim stalked him everywhere. No records. None. No birth certificate, no social security number, not even facial recognition. In addition, there were brand new Instagram, email, and LinkedIn accounts. When even more sleuthing couldn’t prove any gang affiliations, criminal records, secret societal records, secret-secret societal records, Tim was intrigued.
This guy just… didn’t exist before like, a week ago.
Either this guy was not skilled enough to lie on everything, or he was so powerful he felt he didn’t have to. Tim scrolled, and offhandedly wondered if he had anything to do with this weird monster running around.
Well. It’s not like there was anything else to do.
Tim looked up the email and invited him in for an interview.
€ € €
When Mr. Eddie Brock came in for an interview at Wayne Enterprises to meet with Mr. Tim Drake, the secretary was not impressed.
This man looked terribly sleep deprived, messy, and overall jumpy. Typical Gothamite, and actually similar to how Mr. Drake acted before his pot of coffee (seriously, the whole pot), but overall, not an appearance worthy of Wayne E.
He, the secretary, motioned Mr. Eddie Brock to the couch, before typing a quick message to Mr. Drake. He ignored the anxious presence sitting in the room and clicked on the tab of his current project: the Knights game and the stocks related.
Mr. Drake sent a blurry, .5 picture of himself with a thumbs up (he was still a teenager after all), and after he rolled his eyes he told Mr. Brock that Mr. Drake was “ready to see you now”.
Mr. Eddie Brock walked into Tim’s office looking a little nervous but still a decently respectable presence.
And Mr. Drake was sitting like a James Bond villain.
“Uh, Mr. Drake, it’s a pleasure to meet–You’re a teenager,” Mr. Brock said, gaping.
Tim Drake smiled evenly and motioned to the seat in front of him, moving his crossed leg to the floor. “You obviously aren’t from around here.”
Eddie sat, rather stiffly, in his seat.
HE SEEMS FAMILIAR, Venom mused.
Eddie was already shifting in his seat. The way this guy… well, kid, was looking at him, it made him uncomfortable. He felt like he could get eaten by this guy. He just had a viperish look to him.
WE COULD EAT HIM FIRST! Venom offered.
Eddie shook his head.
“Look, Mistah Drake–”
“Please,” he drew the word out nonchalantly, “call me Tim.”
“Right, Tim,” Eddie began. However he really didn’t know where to go from that. Luckily, Tim swept in at the rescue.
“You seem to have good credentials, Eddie. I’d like to hire you for the Wayne E. journal side of things here.”
Eddie blinked. “Look, uh Mistah Tim, I usually just collect dirt on people and spread it around if I’m being honest.”
Now it was Tim’s turn to blink. “Well, that is a surprise,” he murmured.
Eddie didn’t really like the sound of that.
VENOM ALSO DOESN’T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT, Venom announced.
“I believe this company could still use you, Eddie. I think you could be beneficial to our cause. You start Monday.”
“Uh, thank you, sir,” Eddie sputtered, and Tim showed him out. He was scary looking, with his dark suit and dark hair and pale face. He looked like one of those mafia guys on the Kdramas Mrs. Chen watches.
As Eddie walked away from the imposing Wayne Enterprises Building, the wind wailing around the corners of Gotham’s streets, he couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched.
€ € €
A knock sounded on Eddie’s door, and he and Venom looked at each other. He rolled his shoulders, and opened the door a crack.
“Hello?”
“Hi.”
The door was flung open, and Eddie was sent stumbling back.
An imposing figure stood, a man wearing lots of leather and a red helmet.
BAD GUY! Venom shouted, and they got ready to fight back.
The red helmet was removed, and a young man with hazel blue eyes and a tuft of white hair smiled at them.
“So nice to meet you, neighbor! I’m Jason, or the Red Hood, and I wanted to invite you to a little get-together I’m having tonight.”
“Uhhhh.”
KILL HIM! KILL HIM NOW! Eddie shook his head. “Uh, no not right now.” It was aimed at both of them.
Jason whistled. “Nice place you got here! There might be some furniture we can grab tonight if you want to spice the place up a bit.”
WE HATE FURNITURE! AND WE LOVE TO EAT HEADS!
“I’m sorry, but, I think you have the wrong guy,” Eddie tried to laugh, but it sounded just like a tired wheeze. He really didn’t want to start problems with this guy, especially since they saw him and fought him just the other night.
“Nonsense! You’re Eddie Brock! I live just upstairs. And I own the building. So I know who you are!”
Well, shit.
SHIT IS RIGHT.
€ € €
They somehow did not escape the little get-together.
And it turns out it was just Jason and some of his “friends” beating people up while Eddie watched with a camera, and then recording the bad guys’ confessions and sending them to Gotham Gazette under Red Hood’s name.
However, all of Jason’s friends helped move the stolen furniture of the night into Eddie’s new apartment.
“See ya, Eddie!” Jason saluted him, and then shut the door. Eddie listened as the group walked downstairs in a merry mood, until the building was silent.
I CHANGED MY MIND! I LOVE OUR NEW FRIENDS!
“No, no, no. This is bad. We are now part of a crime lord’s posse. This is not good.”
BEATS WORKING IN AN OFFICE.
“Oh yeah? Well at least the office is honest work!”
EDDIE. YOU ARE SO BORING.
“Why am I the only one who is reacting to how crazy this is?” Eddie bemoaned.
€ € €
“I cannot believe you would steal one of my guys from right under me!” Tim shouted.
“It’s not my fault that he moved into my building.”
“I FOUND HIM FIRST.”
“Waaa waaa baby bird.”
“Jason, I’m gonna fucking kill you I swear–”
“Love you too, Tim!”
€ € €
HELLO AGAIN, WEIRD CHILDREN! Venom turned and grinned from where he had just chomped off the head of a very strange man.
“He, he, he,” The Red Hood stuttered, and the rest looked shocked.
“Listen,” Eddie said, shifting back to himself. “I definitely did not mean to traumatize you. But my friend just doesn’t like bad guys…”
Venom’s head popped out with a long sticky tentacle to wave at them. YES! WE HATE BAD GUYS! AND WE LOVE HEADS!
“You, you, you,” The Red Hood was still sputtering.
One of the children took a step forward, walking closer to Eddie, an analytical look on his face.
OH SHIT! THAT’S OUR OFFICE JOB BOSS!
“What?” But Eddie took a closer look, and despite the mask he could see it. He groaned and rubbed his hand on his face.
“Sorry, Mistah Drake. I just don’t usually–”
Tim held up a hand to stop him.
“You have nothing to apologize for. We are grateful for the service you have rendered to our city.”
“Oh,” Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, “That’s good. I still wanted a job.”
“You have a job!” The Red Hood looked scandalized.
Eddie rolled his eyes. “A real job, with all respect, Mistah Red Hood.”
Something caught the attention of the group, and Eddie turned to see a golden circle behind him.
Venom took over, and waved comically at the group. GOOD BYE, TINY HUMANS! WE HAVE ENJOYED OUR STAY. GOTHAM HAS A DELICIOUS MENU!
He tucked his knees cannonball style and leapt into the glowing circle.
Steph walked over to the figure, lying prone in the middle of the room.
She kicked it, hard. “He’s dead.”
Jason fell to his knees, and Tim and Dick held him as his body shook with sobs.
“He killed the fucking Joker. Holy shit. He killed him,” Jason whispered in awe.
“Yeah, I don’t think he’s ever coming back. If, you know, his head is digested,” Steph added, walking back.
“Good riddance,” Damian said, kicking at the body again.
“Damn, that was insane,” Tim murmured.
“You got that right. Just wait till B gets back.”
“I call not telling him!”
“You kidding me? Good luck telling Alfred.”