Chapter 6
When morning came the next day, Wade didn’t wake to his work alarm like he initially thought was blaring next to him on the floor as he tries to snooze it, but instead accidentally answers a FaceTime call from Negasonic.
“Hey, Douchepool, wake the fuck up.” Ellie’s unimpressed face fills his screen, as he blinks the sleep from his eyes.
“Wha—“ Wade groggily glances up at the time on his phone where it reads 6:07 in the morning.
He groans, “What the fuck do you want, Sinéad? It’s not even seven am like that one Taylor Swift song.”
Ellie scoffs, rolling her eyes at him. “I wouldn’t want to call you even if you were the last person on earth, Grandpa.”
Wade grins, “Then why are you calling me, Chicken Noodle?” His smile morphs into an exaggerated puppy dog expression, as he cooes out, “Aww did you miss me? You missed hanging out with your favorite X-Person, didn’t you?”
She rolls her eyes again, as she corrects him. “X-trainee. And no, being ripped apart limb by limb would be more enjoyable than spending time with you.”
“Sticks and stones, but words will never hurt me. Now what do you want? Have the X-People reconsidered me joining them?” Wade questions, hopefulness bleeding through his tone.
Ellie snorts, before laughing at him. “As if. They actually needed me to tell you that they lost Logan’s daughter. Don’t know where the fuck she went, but they assumed you were the least likely to be killed by him if you broke the news.”
Logan lets out a grunt from underneath Wade, voice rough from sleep before asking, “Who you talking to, Bub?”
“Oh, no one, just Ellie. She says they lost Laura.” Wade mumbles back to him as he uses one hand to hold his phone and the other to gently brush the hair out of Logan’s face.
“‘Bout fucking time,” Logan slurs, “Took them too fucking long to tell us she was missing. They’re lucky she called us and we got to her first.”
“Right?” Wade agrees, before turning his attention back to Ellie who has a disgusted look on her face. “We found her last night, tell the X-People in charge that she’s staying here for the rest of the week and having daddy-daughter time, m’kay?”
Completely ignoring everything Wade just said, Ellie nearly gags as she spits out, “Ew, that’s so fucking gross. You and Logan are sleeping together?”
“We sure are!” Wade grins at her horror, “Wait until you find out that we’re also—“
Ellie’s face disappears from the call as a bright red “disconnected” flashes across the screen.
Wade scoffs, preemptively turning off his work alarm, “So rude! Kids these days have no manners.”
Logan lets out another grunt, as he pulls Wade closer against him, brain so sleep-addled that he fucking nuzzles his nose against Wade’s cheek.
“Aww, Peanut!” Wade cooes, “As much as I’d love to stay and cuddle with you, some of us actually have a job and rent to pay. I’ve already missed far too many days this week, I can’t afford to miss another.”
Logan groans, but lets him go.
Wade giggles, “I’ll be home again before you know it, Peanut.” He leans down and places a soft kiss to the tip of Logan’s nose, before Wade braces his hand on the cold floorboard to help himself up.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
After a painfully dull day at Drive Max, mostly due to the fact that it was Peter’s one day off so Wade had no one to pass the time with, he finally came home to a full house and the smell of Logan’s cooking.
Chimichangas for dinner.
Wade’s favorite.
Wade tries not to linger on the way his heart does somersaults in his chest as he shuts their door behind him.
He tries not to linger on the thought that echoes in the back of his mind that says this is the family he’s always been looking for— that this is his family.
Instead, he calls out, “Honey, I’m home!” to the kitchen where he can hear oil sizzling in a pan and easy conversation flowing between Logan, Laura, and Al.
A chorus of greetings meet the mercenary as he tosses his work backpack onto the ground and bends down to scoop Mary Puppins up into his arms from where she’s standing on her hind legs and doing a little dance of excitement at her papa returning home.
“Hello, my sweet girl!” Wade coos to the dog as he cuddles her close against his chest. “I missed you so much, sweetie!”
Logan peers over his shoulder at the two of them, fond smile blooming across his face, “Dinner’s gonna be ready in a second, if you want to go wash up, Bub.”
“Okie!” Wade calls back in his baby voice, as he plants several kisses to the top of Mary’s head, before setting her down and heading to the kitchen sink to wash his hands.
Laura’s leaning against the cabinet next to the sink, as she scoots out of the way for Wade, causing him to notice her fresh change of clothes. She’s wearing Wade’s fluffy, black, kuromi pajama pants, cuffed at the bottom so she’s not tripping over them, a plain white tee, and one of Logan’s dark blue and white checkered flannels over the shirt.
Her outfit’s an eyesore, but it warms Wade’s heart at seeing the teen feeling comfortable enough with Wade and Logan to steal their clothes.
“How was work?” Al questions him, “Sell any cars today?”
“Boring as fuck, I wish I could have stayed here with you guys instead, and yeah, two cars, a fucking Kia and a Honda. Who would willingly buy those cars anymore?” He responds as he rips a paper towel off the roll and dries his hands with it.
Al lets out a low whistle, impressed by his work.
“Logan says you spoke to the X-Men this morning, are you sure they’re fine with me staying here for the rest of the week?” Laura questions, hopeful lilt in her voice that isn’t lost on Wade as he moves to hop on the counter beside her.
“Abso-fucking-lutely, Little Peanut!” Wade reassures her with a bright smile, “Besides, they’re in no position to not be! The bastards lost our daughter and expect us not to be outraged and pull her out of school for the rest of the week?”
A deafening silence immediately follows Wade’s rhetorical question, before his words come rushing back to him.
Our daughter.
Oh.
Oh no.
He overstepped.
Laura and Logan definitely don’t feel the same as Wade.
No worries though, he can fix this!
Wade can fix the way his heart plummets in his chest as he carries on, voice pitched a note a little too high. He lets out a wild, strained laugh, “Oopsie, I meant to say Logan’s daughter! Anyway, what have you guys been up to today?”
“Bub—“ Logan starts, hazel eyes filled with something Wade can’t yet determine, nor does he want to, as the younger man cuts him off with his rambling.
“I was thinking we should have a movie night sometime this week.” His eyes light up, “We can build a pillow fort and have s’mores that we cook on the stovetop and everything! We can all camp out in the living room too! It’ll be so fun.” Wade grins, ignoring the looks the others are giving him.
“Wade—“ It’s Laura who tries to speak next, as Wade interrupts her as well.
“Maybe we can all play board games too! I have this silly one called ‘Mystery Date’ from the 80s or some shit, it would be so fun to play. We can even paint our nails and do face masks! It can be like a sleepover!” His leg is bouncing from excitement, not anxiety, no, not that at all.
Al doesn’t even get the chance to open her mouth before Wade is chattering again.
“What do you guys say? Sleepover? Who’s in?” Wade gasps out, breathless from enthusiasm as his grin stretches so wide it causes his eyes to crinkle, “We can even prank call the X-People! Dibs on Chrome Dome.” He cackles mischievously, as he glances between the three of them.
Wade goes to open his mouth again, but is cut off by Logan clicking off the stove and closing the short distance between himself and Wade as he places a gentle, but firm hand over Wade’s racing heart.
“Take a breath, Bub, it’s okay.” Logan murmurs to him.
Wade feels insane, and not just because the smile Logan is giving him right now can only be described as ‘adoring’.
Regardless, he takes a deep breath.
The mercenary’s attention is snapped from Logan to Laura as she hops on the counter beside Wade and pulls him into a half hug.
His hands involuntarily move up to hold onto her arm, as Logan removes his own hand from Wade’s chest.
Wade already misses the warmth, that is, until Laura rests her head gently on his shoulder instead.
“It’s okay,” She starts, voice small as if she’s anxious to admit what she’s about to say out loud, but she does it anyway. “You’re family to me too.”
Wade’s racing thoughts freeze as his heart stutters in his chest and warmth blooms through him instead.
He doesn’t know what to do, to say, to even think.
So he doesn’t, instead, Wade wraps one of his arms around Laura and reaches out blindly behind him to tug Logan forward by his flannel, slamming the older man against him, as he releases the older man’s shirt and loops an arm around Logan’s waist at an awkward angle that definitely isn’t comfortable.
But Logan wraps both his arms around Laura and Wade anyway, and Wade doesn’t care that his arm is going numb, because, as it turns out, they do feel the same way as him.
Because they are a family.
Wade’s not sure how long he holds them close like that, but it’s Al who interrupts them as she clears her throat.
Reluctantly, he releases the two Wolverines, smiling at them as tears shimmer in his eyes.
Al’s holding Mary now as she strokes her little head. “As sweet as I assume that was, I’m fucking starving and would rather eat.”
Wade and Laura laugh, as Logan shakes his head with an amused scoff, before reaching above the two of them to open the cabinet and pull out four, mix-matched plates.
Wade thinks he could get used to this.
Actually, he knows he can.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
The rest of the week goes by in a fun, domestic blur as in between Wade’s shifts at Drive Max, the four of them spend time together like a real family.
Even going as far as to have that sleepover Wade rambled on about, minus the prank calls because Logan the buzz kill insisted they were already on bad-standing with the X-Men and didn’t need to piss them off any further.
Wade knew deep down that it’s because Logan isn’t ready to talk to any of them yet, despite the fact that the day for him to face them all was approaching faster and faster than either of them would like.
It takes a lot of convincing, but Wade and Laura were able to successfully convince Logan to paint his nails a nude brown color. Wade picks a pastel, glittery pink for his, and Laura—ever the goth she is— chooses a black matte in a little skull bottle. Al refuses to have anyone paint her nails since she “doesn’t trust these motherfuckers” and “won’t be able to see the disaster Wade makes anyway.”
Wade takes pictures of the three of their nails and sends it to Vanessa who responds with a bunch of crying and broken heart emojis because she was supposed to stop by that night, but unfortunately got stuck late at work.
The four of them play that dating board game Wade had mentioned too, and much to everyone else’s surprise, they actually have way too much fun laughing and becoming increasingly more and more competitive as they turn the door on the board and keep getting wrong match, after wrong match, until finally, Al wins.
Wade accuses her of cheating despite the fact that he read her cards out to her, and actually helped her win.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
The day after their sleepover, Wade tries to get Laura into watching the Bachelorette, but he could tell by her constant cynicism that she really wasn’t enjoying it in the way that he and Logan does, even though the older man refuses to admit it.
So when his, Logan’s, and Al’s shared calendar chimes off, reminding the two men of their interview with the TVA the next day, Laura jumps at the opportunity to do literally anything else as she insists on googling the commonly asked questions and quizzing them on each other and their non-existent relationship.
Al even joins in a few times, playing the bad cop interrogator role as she and Laura separate the two of them into different rooms. Al tries to trick Wade, and then Logan, into admitting to their fraud, but much to her satisfaction, she couldn’t catch either of them in a lie, nor coerce one out of the other.
Laura grins, congratulating Wade and Logan, as she informs them that they’re ready to commit marriage fraud.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
On the one week date since Logan announced his and Wade’s engagement to a room full of agents, the two men wake up early to prepare for the day ahead of them.
Neither man knew when, or where, for that matter, the TVA would arrive, so they figured it’d be best to be ready early for anything.
As quietly as they could, Wade and Logan sneak out of the living room so that they don’t accidentally wake Laura. Wade follows Logan into the bathroom, before gently shutting the door behind him.
Logan already has the water running as he wets his toothbrush under the faucet, squeezing a generous heaping of toothpaste on it, before offering the bottle to Wade.
He takes it and does the same, before tossing the bottle on the side of the sink and turning off the water as he scrubs his teeth beside Logan.
Logan leans down to spit the foam out of his mouth, as Wade grins, mumbling around his brush, “Didn’t think you were a spitter.”
Logan’s brow furrows in confusion, as he glances up at him, “What?”
Wordlessly, Wade pulls his own brush out of his mouth as he swallows the minty paste, before sighing in content.
Startled, Logan scoffs, standing back to his full height. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What isn’t wrong with me!” Wade cheerfully supplies, as he turns back to the mirror to continue his teeth cleaning.
Logan scoffs again, drying his mouth off as he brushes past Wade and leaves him alone in the bathroom so the two of them, but mostly Logan, can finish getting dressed in peace.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
Their original plan of waking up as early as possible proved to be a good idea, as the two men were barely done eating their breakfast when a portal ripped open in the middle of their kitchen.
Wade, who was drinking orange juice when an agent jumped out of the portal at them, coughs violently as it goes down the wrong way and burns his throat and nose.
“Fuck!” He hacks out, as Logan’s fast to grab a mini bottle of water from the fridge and hand it to Wade, being sure not to pat the younger man’s back so the liquid doesn’t lodge itself further.
“We have a fucking door for a reason!” Wade rasps out, as he and Logan both shoot death glares at the unfortunate agent who was just trying to do their job.
“I’m sorry.“ The agent at least sounds sheepish, before clearing their throat and continuing on with their mission. “Mr. Wade Wilson and Mr. Logan Howlett, the Time Variance Authority are ready to see you now.”
“No fucking shit.” Logan snarks out, as he rips a handful of paper towels off the roll and soaks them under the faucet, trying his best to clean up the mess so Al— or more likely Laura— doesn’t have to deal with it before the men have to leave. “Give us a minute, you caught us off guard.”
“Um— Okay, only a minute though.” The agent replies, sounding nervous as fuck at having upset the Wolverine.
Logan glances up from where he’s cleaned most of the mess, to Wade, who’s currently chugging the bottle of water like his life depends on it. “You okay, darlin’?” He questions, voice soft.
Logan’s casual slip of a nickname causes Wade to choke on his water this time, coughing violently again.
“Fuck!” He squeaks out again.
Another agent comes through a portal opposite the one that’s already been summoned.
“Is there an issue here?” She questions, a very take-no-shit tone to her voice.
“Give us a second.” Logan growls at her as he kneels beside Wade— who’s trying to take deep, shaky breaths— as he gently rubs his calloused hand up and down the younger man’s back.
Logan’s tone is soft again, as are his eyes as he looks at Wade as if he’s his entire world. “You alright? I don’t have to give you mouth to mouth, do I?” A teasing smirk tugs at the corner of his lip.
Wade lets out a shaky laugh at that, as he wipes the tears off of his face. Voice still rough, he flirts right back. “You don’t need a reason to kiss me in front of everyone, Peanut.”
Logan’s brows raise as a grin spreads across his face. “Is that so?” He moves his hand from Wade’s back and gently cradles the marred skin on his cheek instead.
Someone clears their throat, interrupting Wade and Logan’s moment.
Their eyes shoot to where Laura’s standing in the kitchen doorway, having woken up from all of the commotion. She’s wearing another pair of Wade’s sanrio pajama pants, cuffed like before, but this one is Badtz-Maru and has a matching, equally oversized sleep-shirt. She also has one of Logan’s hockey team blankets wrapped around her shoulders.
“Guys,” She begins, “You can makeout another time. Please for the love of anything good in this world, go, so that I can get back to sleep.”
Logan snorts, “Fine, we’re leaving. G’night, kid.”
“Don’t forget to take your sister on her walkies this afternoon!” Wade calls to her. “And breakfast is in the fridge, don’t forget to eat later!”
“‘Kay, night.” Laura calls back as she rounds the corner to leave the room.
“Teenagers, am I right?” Wade shakes his head fondly at the two TVA agents.
“Are we done here, Mr. Wilson?” The second agent’s tone is blunt, uncaring.
Logan removes his hand from Wade’s cheek as he stands. He holds his hand out for Wade to take instead.
Wade intertwines their fingers, as he scooches out of his chair. “Yeah, sheesh, we can go.”
ᯓᡣ𐭩
To put it kindly, their interview was incredibly fucking boring.
Every question was so clerical and so dull, leaving little to no room for Wade to take the creative liberty to spice up his and Logan’s non-existent love life by making the Wolverine seem like some whiny, kinky, little sexual deviant.
Laura and Al’s interrogation was far more exciting and felt more legitimate than whatever the fuck this was.
The most exciting part of the whole interview was when, in passing, one of the agents complimented Wade on his nail polish and he got to gush for nearly twenty minutes about how his daughter-in-law and fiancé painted them together.
At one point of time, whenever they were moving Wade from a different room than the one he was in— he assumes this was a weak tactic to try to make him sweat out a confession— he crosses paths with no other than Paradox on a tea break.
Wade grins at him, “Hey, Paradox! How’s your day going?”
The brit scowls at him, but before he could even open his mouth, Wade knocks his tea cup against him, causing the scalding hot contents to soak the front of his suit shirt as the man shrieks in pain.
“Oopsie!” Wade giggles out, “I actually don’t care because after this is over with, I’m going to go home and make love to my beautiful fiancé, and then when we’re cuddling butt ass naked, we’re gonna plan ways to make your life a living hell together before he leaves to join the X-People. Have a terrible day!” He skips through the TVA building as his handling agent speeds up to catch up with him.
Wade glances over his shoulder, at the angry Brit as he frantically dabs at the stain. “BT Dubs, thanks for bringing me and my man together! You’re a total wingman.”
By the time they’re finally able to leave, the sun is already beginning to set in the sky, and Wade feels so exhausted from how fucking boring everything was that he collapses in Logan’s arms the second he sees him again after an agent brings him back to Wade.
Logan lets out a low chuckle, wrapping his arms around Wade to help hold him up, as he places a soft kiss on the top of his head. “I take it you missed me, Bub?”
Wade could only hum in agreement.
“You tired?” Logan asks, as he gently sways the two of them.
Wade hums again.
“We still gotta pack for tomorrow, and tell Laura about us joining the X-Men, darlin’.” Logan murmurs against the top of his head, they’re in their own little bubble as TVA agents mill around them.
Wade tenses, heart aching at the reminder, but above all else, it shatters at Logan’s slip up.
Because, the truth is that the two of them aren’t joining the X-Men, Logan is.
The X-Men made it crystal clear that they didn’t want Wade, and if Wade was being honest, he didn’t care that much anymore.
He already knows that nobody wants him. Not the X-Men, not the Avengers, not even Vanessa— and he’s okay with that, really, he’s even made peace with it.
What he does care about is that, for a brief moment in time, Wade felt like Logan wanted him in anyway that he could have him— whether that be teammate, roommate, friend, fake fiancé, or even on late nights whenever he couldn’t sleep and he let his thoughts get the better of him as Logan held him close in his arms, maybe something more.
But it was always a matter of time until Logan would come to his senses and decide that he didn’t want Wade either, so Wade tells himself that it’s easier this way.
Better now whenever Logan still cares about him than later whenever he doesn’t.
Then why doesn’t it feel any easier?
Logan’s leaving, and so is Laura, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do without them.
At least he still has Mary Puppins and Al.
Wade groans, but relents, pulling back the slightest bit in Logan’s arms to peer at him.
A warm smile blooms across Logan’s face at him, as Wade tries to ignore the fuzzy feeling in his chest and the blur of his eyes.