Chapter 3
After Wade was able to tease Logan into actually having some fun with their predicament,— even if he does feel a bit morally gross afterwards— at the end of the day, he knew Logan was just trying to be a gentleman with him and not force Wade into anything else especially after something as drastic as an engagement.
But the thing is, Wade’s seen the X-Men franchise, he knows the man who agreed to be his fiancé is a flirt and a half, and Wade would be damned if he didn’t at least try to experience some of Logan’s charm all for himself. That and it would be pretty fucking obvious they weren’t a real couple to anyone with a pair of functioning eyes, or ears, if the two of them barely touched, let alone flirted with each other, right?
So, that night whenever the two of them got ready for bed, and the silence from Logan teetered on the edge of deafening, Wade began to panic just the slightest bit that he overstepped.
Okay, that’s a lie. He was feeling awful and needed to make things right immediately.
The last thing he wants to do is pressure Logan, let alone anyone, into doing something they’re not comfortable with. Wade’s not a good guy, but that doesn’t mean he’s a piece of shit.
As they pull out Al’s sleeper sofa that they share together, Wade finally cracks.
“Hey,” Wade starts, a rare moment of seriousness from him as he wraps a gentle hand around Logan’s wrist to get his attention. Hazel eyes unreadable as Logan glances at Wade’s scarred hand, then back up towards the mercenary’s dark brown eyes. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, we don’t have to do anything that you’re not comfortable with, Peanut, I was just messing with you earlier. If you’re only up for a gentle romance, then I am too. Hand holding, chaste kisses, and hugs— assuming you’re okay with it all— sounds just as good to me as anything else.”
A soft smile tugs against Logan’s lips, as Wade feels his own mouth involuntarily mirror the older man’s.
“I promise to respect any and all of your boundaries without any kind of teasing from here on out.” Wade continues, as he releases his hand around Logan’s wrist and holds out his pinky finger instead. Logan eyes it carefully, before linking his pinky with Wade’s. “Are we okay?” He questions, softly.
That’s when he watches Logan’s sweet smile morph into something devious.
Oh.
Oh no.
Before Wade knows it, he’s tossed onto his back on their makeshift bed, letting out an involuntary whimper, as the Wolverine crawls over him like some kind of fucked up predator stalking his prey.
Their eyes meet, Wade’s wide with shock at the sudden turn of events, and Logan’s low with a pleased smirk on his face at having successfully taken the mercenary off-guard.
“What are you d—“ Wade’s bewilderment is cut-off as Logan moves to hover his face over Wade’s own, inches apart. Logan places one hand to prop himself up beside Wade’s head, while the other comes up to pin the younger man below him by holding Wade’s hands together in an iron grip above his head.
Wade’s heart is racing, it feels like it’s going to explode right out of his chest as Logan’s eyes flicker from Wade’s, down to his scarred lips.
He’s so close to Wade that the stubble on Logan’s face gently scratches across Wade’s scarred skin at the slight movement.
A dark grin spreads across Logan’s face at Wade’s reaction. “You’re right,” He lets out a low, dangerous chuckle. “This is more fun.”
In less than a second, the weight and warmth of the older man is gone as fast as it came, as Logan rolls off of Wade and props up on one arm beside him instead.
Grin still present, as Logan continues. “I can hear your heartbeat,” He trails off taking a sniff of the air, and raising an eyebrow at him. “I can sense other things as well.”
If Wade’s damaged skin could still blush, he knows he’d be as red as the blood that still stains their floors by now.
“Fuck you.” Wade muffles out from where he covers his face with his hands. “Stop giving me fucky-fucky bedroom eyes.”
Logan laughs in response, the sound reverberating inside of Wade’s chest as he desperately tries to get his heartbeat down to a normal rhythm.
“You wish I’d fuck you.” Logan bluntly taunts, “You don’t stand a chance at winning this.”
Wade peeks an eye through two of his fingers as he glares at the man still lying in a ‘paint me like one of your French girls’ pose.
He pulls his hands back completely as he turns on his side to face Logan. “I take back everything I said before, I’m going to make you so fucking uncomfortable that you’re going to regret the day that you made me your fiancé.”
Logan’s shit-eating grin is unwavering, “Good luck with that, Bub.”
Wade lets out a frustrated groan.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
The next morning over breakfast in bed that Wade lovingly prepared for and woke Logan up to, complete with a rose that Wade stole from the neighbor’s balcony garden that he then stuck in a glass of orange juice for the man, the two of them agreed the sooner they called the X-Men and asked if the offer still stood for Logan to join them, the better.
Wade hopped back into bed beside Logan as he dialed Colossus’s number and put him on speaker phone.
Before the X-men could even finish his greeting in his thick accent, Wade cut him off.
“Let me cut to the chase, you big, sexy bitch. I have another, possibly sexier, smaller bitch with me, not that I’m pitting two sexy bitches against each other—“
“Wade.” Logan growls out in warning at Wade’s incessant rambling as it did nothing to soothe his already overwhelming and conflicting feelings at the idea of seeing the X-Men again.
“Why do you call me, Wade? What trouble have you found yourself in again?” Colossus’s resignation can be heard through the phone’s speaker.
“Oh my God, Dad, no trouble this time.” Wade draws out with an eyeroll, as Logan shoots him a sideways look. “Can’t I just be calling a good friend of mine to check in on him?”
“No.” Colossus deadpans.
Wade snickers, “You know me so well! Anyway, as I was saying before, are the X-Men still interested in having Wolverine the Second join their Marvel Rivals team?”
Wade and Logan can hear movement on the other side of the line, as Colossus speaks quietly to someone else, before responding to Wade again. “I do not know what this ‘Marvel Rivals’ is that you speak of, however, we are always welcome to Logan joining his X-Men family again.”
“Great!” Wade grins, “Because he’s right here! Here, Peanut.” He holds the phone out towards Logan as he furiously shakes his head.
“Is this the truth that you speak of, Wade? Is Logan interested in joining us again?”
“Come on!” Wade mouths quietly at Logan, who stays firm on not taking the phone, nor wanting to talk to Colossus.
Wade rolls his eyes, responding in place for Logan. “Yes, he’s just being a little bitch right now. So, you can tell ole Chuck that his favorite X-Men is coming home—“
“This is wonderful news!” Colossus’s smile can be heard through the phone, “I will tell the others as soon as possible, we will arrange for a jet to take Logan home—“
Finally, Logan speaks up, grabbing the phone from Wade. “You don’t gotta do that, I’ll catch a cab or something.“ He trails off, hesitating before continuing anyway. “I don’t want anyone knowing who doesn’t need to know yet. Especially not Laura, I want to tell the kid in person.”
“Very well. We will make all necessary accommodations for you as privately as we can. It is very nice to hear your voice again, Logan.” The earnesty in his tone bleeds through the phonecall.
Wade’s smile falters as he sees Logan screw his eyes up as if Piotr’s words stung.
Logan lets out a shakey breath, but continues, “You too, Bub, you too.”
“We will still send someone to retrieve you and your belongings, where should we meet you?” Piotr questions.
Logan winces again, as he tries to take another breath as it hitches in his chest.
Wade scoots forward on the makeshift bed until his thigh is pressed against Logan’s as he reaches his hand out to take the phone from Logan and instead replaces it with Wade’s other hand.
Logan squeezes it, eyes still closed tightly, as Wade takes the phone off speaker and lifts it to his ear furthest from Logan instead.
“Hey, Chrome Dome, it’s Marvel Jesus again. You can pick us up at my place, but give us until next week, ‘kay? Great! Kisses, bye!” Wade makes smooching noises at his phone as he hangs up and tosses it onto the floor without waiting for Colossus’s response.
Since officially moving in with Wade and Al, Wade realized prettt quickly that Logan has good days and bad days.
On the good ones, he can talk openly and freely of his X-Men, sharing fond memories or an inside joke or two with Wade as they cut up together over a beer or a shared meal, when walking Mary or on their latest mercenary job.
But on the bad days, the guilt is all-consuming as it devours him whole.
Despite Logan having met this universe’s Colossus already, there’s days when he can separate the X-Men from his own, and there’s day where he’s painfully reminded of the man that kid could have grown into had Logan been there when Piotr needed him.
Whenever all of them needed him.
Wade turns back to Logan, whose eyes are open now but are staring distantly and emptily at the hand that Wade’s not holding, as if there’s a phantom blood stain on it.
Wade’s eyes soften as he covers Logan’s hand with his free one and tugs both of their clasped hands into his own lap.
Logan’s eyes snap up to his, expression unreadable.
It reminds Wade of the first time he saw him in that bar.
“Peanut, talk to me, what’s on your mind?” Gently, he prompts.
Logan shakes his head, once, then twice as if he’s trying to clear his mind from the haunted memories.
Wade raises one of their intertwined hands to rest against his own face, the coolness of Logan’s hand acting as a startling contrast to the warmth of Wade’s marred cheek. “That’s okay too, I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk about it, ‘kay?”
Logan remains silent, but Wade’s spent enough time with him during moments like these to know that he heard him and that this is what Logan needs right now.
Wade doesn’t bother mentioning that he’s supposed to be at work by now as he readjusts himself to lie down again as Logan follows his lead.
Wade will have to call Peter later and ask him to cover for him at the car dealership. He’ll tell Peter that he ate a bad chimichanga or got his toe stuck in a bathtub faucet like in those early 2000s shows Al always complains about him watching.
It doesn’t matter what his excuse is, because being here with Logan is far more important to Wade than anything else is right now.
And as Wade slinks his arms around Logan, being careful to hide Logan’s hands from the man by pressing them in between their bodies and hidden from his sight, Wade can’t help but realize that Logan’s beginning to feel more important to him than anyone else is.
ᯓᡣ𐭩
The two of them lay like that for most of the day and well into the night.
Wade leaving as little as possible to use the restroom or let Mary outside, to grab a glass of water and quick snack in place of an actual meal, or to catch Al when she comes home from her weekly poker sessions to let her know that Logan needs some time, all while still keeping a watchful eye over the man.
He tried on multiple occasions to get the man up to do something, anything, to take care of himself, but Logan remained unmoved and unresponsive.
Wade’s seen him like this only a few times since they started living together, and while it breaks his heart to see him like this, he does know three things that helps him.
The first one is silence.
Whatever’s on Logan’s mind, it’s better if he can work through it in quiet, lest he fills the void of loss and guilt inside him with a violent rage again.
The second is connection.
Logan will never ask for it, nor acknowledge it, but Wade knows that Logan having someone there for him— especially at his lowest and most painful moments— serves to tether him back to reality and gently remind him that he still has someone who loves him despite everything that he doesn’t love about himself.
And the third is patience.
When Logan comes back to himself again— and he will, he always does no matter how long it takes him— he’ll fill the void with alcohol and if Wade sticks around long enough— which he always does, and always will— then Logan will open up to Wade, ripping his deepest darkest regrets out like a beating heart and offering it, bleeding and all on a silver platter to him.
And Wade will be there, to gently take it from him and cleanse the wounds, careful to stitch the gashes up so that one day when they scab over, they won’t leave a scar behind, before he gives it back to Logan, reminding him that he’s still wanted and still loved.
So, when the sun began to rise again, creeping over the horizon and casting out the lingering darkness of the night, and Logan didn’t reach for whiskey but instead reached for Wade’s hand again, the younger man couldn’t help the way his heart fluttered in his chest as he intertwines their fingers together before bringing their hands up to his scarred lips and placing a gentle kiss on the back of Logan’s hand.
Finally, Logan, voice rough from disuse, speaks again. “He was just a kid, Wade. He never got to grow up because of me.” His eyes squeeze shut again, as his forehead crinkles in pain at the memory.
Wade didn’t need to be told to know that Logan was referring to Piotr.
“None of them got to grow up because of me.” Logan continues, breath catching as he opens his eyes again to meet Wade’s.
Voice steady, but soft, Wade whispers out, “You weren’t the one who killed them, Logan.”
“I’m the reason why they’re all dead, I might as well have been the one to pull the trigger.”
“But you weren’t, Logan.” Wade stresses, as he moves his other hand up to gently wipe the tear rolling down Logan’s cheekbone off. “You weren’t the one who killed them, and I promise you that they know it wasn’t your fault.
Logan scoffs, “How would you know that?”
“Because no one knew they were going to attack that night, especially not you, so why is this only on you? Because you were the one who wasn’t there?” Wade questions. “Peanut, you didn’t leave them to die, you came back for them. And I think they knew, whether they made it out of there or not, that you were going to come back for them and stop those monsters from ever hurting anyone else again.”
Logan’s quiet as he studies Wade’s face for something, anything that would prove that he’s lying or that he doesn’t actually mean it.
He finds nothing.
“I know you don’t believe me,” Wade starts again, gaze soft as it meets Logan’s, “but one day, I hope that you can.”
Logan doesn’t respond, instead, he wraps an arm around Wade and tugs him close against himself as he buries his face into the crook where Wade’s neck meets his shoulder.
Wade holds him like that, gently into the morning and well into the early afternoon.