Chapter 1
Peter is 100% certain his family line is cursed.
His entire life is an unstoppable chain of tests and punishments sent his way to avenge some kind of wrong-doing at a cosmic level and he doesn’t even know who or what caused it to start in the first place but he would very much like it to stop. Preferably, before he’s dead.
Peter also likes to think he’s not much of a complainer. Yes, he can get a bit snarky and overuse self-deprecating humor as a way to deal with the absolute bullshit life throws at him on a daily basis but he has never been one to quit nor to sit around crying over spilled milk.
Aunt May would whack him across the head if he ever thought of doing it in the first place.
Even after Uncle Ben’s death, they never allowed themselves to give up and accept their shitty shitty fate. No. They did the best they could with whatever resources they had, even if that meant Peter having to stay home alone most nights and walk himself to school since he was eleven so May could take on extra shifts at the hospital; even if that meant working his ass off to get a scholarship so he could attend a better school without May having to pay for it; even if he had to go around dumpster diving, repairing and selling whatever he could get his hands on.
And, no matter how much shit he puts up with and doesn’t complain about, Peter is still getting fucked over by the universe. Most of his family members get killed, his friends (or friends’ family members) turn into supervillains and try to kill him, he gets involved in a multi-universe mess and then he gets told the universe can’t handle his very existence and people knowing he exists. All before he finishes high fucking school.
So yeah, he’s 100% certain his family line is cursed and Peter is the lucky one footing the bill.
So what can he do when Doctor Strange decides their best chance at surviving a second end of the world is sending Peter to another universe? He buckles up and gets ready to start over. Again.
Sort of.
In his defense, wherever Doctor Strange sent him is completely messed up and weird as shit. Or at least, the abandoned cave where he landed is weird as shit.
In the center of the main cave, there’s a ton of medical equipment that looks like something straight out of a late 90’s soap opera, complete with chunky wires and terrible graphics. They’re not in bad condition, nor do they look actually abandoned or neglected. No, in fact they look brand new and fully functioning. There’s also a weird looking medical cot that looks very similar to a biobed from the original star trek series, with an actual person in it.
Before Peter can decide what to do, his spider sense starts going insane and he manages to hide behind one of the many cabinets just as a group of men walks in.
Five of the men are dressed in all blank, ninja-style clothing, with long swords hanging across their backs. Their faces are covered in the same black material, showing only their eyes. They walk in absolute silence and, if it weren’t for their heartbeats, Peter would swear they weren’t even alive.
The dark, ninja-like vibes are completely thrown off by the last man’s presence. He’s probably in his mid-sixties, going by the strange all white patches in the sides of his head, but Peter’s senses are going completely nuts just by looking at him. He’s wearing enough gold to pay off Aunt May’s medical debt and has a floor length matching cape made of what can only be real fur. There’s something weirdly familiar about him, something that keeps setting off Peter’s instincts but he can’t figure out what.
The ninjas surround the biobed as the old guy barks orders to wake up whoever is laying in it. Peter eyes the tunnel behind him and ponders booking it just as the one of the ninjas is hit across the face by a small, tan hand.
Small.
Too small.
‘Holy shit, is that a kid?’
Old Evil Guy orders the ninjas to step back as an honest-to-God kid attempts to climb out of the bed. The kid can’t be any older than ten and he’s dressed in a weird tri-color outfit, complete with a fucking bright yellow cape and green combat boots.
‘Who the hell is dressing these guys?’
“Damian, I advise you to show some restraint. I will not tolerate insubordination from my own heir.”
Something about the name seems to tug at Peter’s attention. He leans to the side to try and see the kid’s face but the ninjas are too close to him to risk moving any further.
The kid goes from confused and afraid to enraged and even more afraid. He manages to sit up but doesn’t let go of the bed’s railing and, by the way his hands are shaking, Peter is pretty sure he won’t be able to stand up on his own anytime soon. It takes all of Peter’s willpower to not sigh as his plan to sneak away unnoticed gets thrown out of a ten story building and trampled by a herd of elephants.
“Grandfather, what is the meaning of this? Why did you bring me here?”
Peter can practically feel the kid’s outrage burning into the Evil Old Guy’s mind, not that the man seems to mind because he actually steps closer to the kid. The spider-senses start screaming and Peter has to fight back the urge to jump on the guy’s back and sink his teeth in his neck.
‘Wait, what the hell was that last one-’
“You’ve strayed too far from your rightful place. Your mother enabled your foolish whims by sending you to this wretched place and your father has made you weak with his childish ideals. I won’t allow their weakness to destroy all my hard work.”
That seems to be the wrong thing to say because the kid actually manages to swing his legs over the side of the bed and point a fucking sword at… his grandfather. The man remains unbothered. In fact, he steps even closer to the bed and tucks his hands behind his back, clearly not worried about the murderous child only a few inches away from him.
“Mother sent me to America to train under Father’s guidance. He is a formidable warrior and my training has been exceptional. You have no right to-”
“Right? You dare question my rights, you insolent child? My right is to train you, to mold you into a suitable heir for the empire I have built. My right is to bring you home. Rest assured, both you and your mother will be punished accordingly for your disrespect and, once your training is complete, I will destroy this awful city your father is so fond of.”
“Father will not allow this! He will come for me!”
The kid is getting increasingly more afraid and the spider-senses are adamant Peter does something about it. The ninjas seem to feel the same, despite not moving a single inch since the conversation first started. Their heartbeats spike for a brief second before returning to their previous unnaturally steady rhythm.
“Your father was too late to save Todd and he will be too late to save you.”
“I do not follow your delusions, Grandfather, but I assure you, Father will not let my disappearance go unnoticed.”
“There are currently twenty seven bombs ready to explode all across Gotham. Batman’s little clan is too busy trying to find them all to even spare a moment thinking of you. By the time they learn you are missing, it will be far too late.”
‘Wait, what did he just say? Gotham?!’
The kid, clearly over the man’s lunacy, reaches forward and Peter does the same.
Peter actually manages to reach the Evil Old Guy’s back before the first ninja gets to him. He manages to sink his teeth into the man’s neck for less than two seconds before someone tries to stab his back.
“Backstabbing? Really? I thought ninjas were all about morals and honor!” The words slip out of his mouth before he can even process the pain. Unfortunately, the trash talk doesn’t seem to affect the creepy ninjas because they keep trying to stab him. The kid falls back into his cot and doesn’t seem like he’s gonna try to get up any time soon, so Peter drops the Evil Old Guy at his feet and turns around.
Another ninja moves closer to stab him, this time in the stomach, where the spider suit is damaged extensively. The knife goes straight in and Peter bites back a curse, if only for the kid’s sake.
“Hey, that’s not how we treat people we’ve just met!” Said ninja is sent flying across the room and ends up crashing against one of the medical cabinets. Two others reach towards Peter and meet the same fate. They clearly weren’t counting on Peter having super strength or the webs sticking them to the cave floor. “You’re supposed to shake my hand, not stab me in the gut! But I get it, honest mistake, right?”
The last two ninjas land on top of Peter before he even has the chance to finish the sentence. One of them holds his arms down, as the other tries to put a weird metal collar around his neck. Peter ends up biting their hands several times before the first one drops to the side unconscious. The fight is sooner pretty soon after, as he webs up the last ninja to the ceiling of the cave.
“Who are you? What is the meaning of this?”
Peter lifts his head from the floor to see the kid leaning on the edge of the bed, staring him down with enough hatred to power the entire country for a year. Or two.
“Hey, kid. My name’s Spider-Man. I promise I’m not gonna hurt you”, Peter keeps his hands in the kid’s line of vision and tries not to move much. He doesn’t want to scare the kid anymore than he already is and he would also love to avoid getting stabbed by a preteen.
“Of course you aren’t able to hurt me. You are bleeding out, you impulsive fool.”
“I am?”
Peter looks down to see that the kid is, in fact, right. There’s a growing red patch spreading through the front of his suit and pooling on the floor around him. In fact, the entire cave seems to be stained with blood. Evil Old Guy is also bleeding from his neck and Peter takes the moment to web him to the floor, just in case.
“Who are you working for?”
Peter wants to roll his eyes at the kid but Aunt May taught him better than to make fun of scared children. Instead, he gets himself off the floor with slow and steady movements and webs himself up before moving towards the little murder gremlin.
“Do not ignore me! Who are you affiliated with? How did you come to be here?”
“Kid, if I knew, I’d tell you. I swear I have no idea how I got here or who the creepy ninjas are.”
Somehow, that was apparently the wrong thing to say, as the kid took personal offense that Peter didn’t know the weird child-stealing gang of weirdos.
“These men are not creepy ninjas! They are members of the League of Assassins and they are part of the most dangerous army in the world!”
Peter feels something tugging at the back of his mind yet again. He tries to figure out what could possibly be bothering his spider-senses so much but he fails to locate any new incoming threats.
“Uh, ok? Look kid, do you have anywhere you can go that doesn’t involve you getting kidnapped and possibly tortured?”
The kid huffed, like Peter was crazy for not knowing what the fuck a League of Assassins is and who is and isn’t part of it. Seriously, what is wrong with these people? “I’m certain my father is currently looking for me.”
“Uh, ok. Do you know where he might be? I can try to figure out a way to contact him or maybe I can swing you back to your house or somewhere safe? I, uh, just need to figure out where we are first…”
“That won’t be necessary. My tacker put us only a few miles off the city’s center. I already sent a distress signal and my team should be here any second now.”
“You have a tracker?! Wait no- forget it. Evil Old Dude just said your father wouldn’t get to you in time because he has to deal with a bunch of bombs. What makes you think he will be able to get here before the ninjas start to wake up?”
The kid (Peter really needs to find out his name as soon as possible) takes one good look at the unconscious men spread across the cave floor and tries to get off the medical cot, before promptly falling to his feet.
Peter manages to catch him just before he smashes his face against the floor but is promptly shoved away.
“Kid, I know you're probably scared but you need to stop. You're definitely hurt and I'm just trying to help you. I promise.”
“I am not scared, you simpleton! Do not expect me to cooperate until you can prove you are trustworthy and that your involvement with the League is, in fact, completely accidental!”
Well, it was worth the try. Time to get creative.
Peter grabbed the kid and threw him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, making sure to hold his legs down so he could avoid getting kicked. The kid yelped in surprise but was quick to recover and Peter almost dropped him after a particularly strong kick.
“Unhand me this instant, you ruffian! How dare you restrain me!”
If it weren’t for his pesky morals, Peter would have webbed the kid to the bed, called the cops and left. Unfortunately for him and his stomach’s wellbeing, Aunt May and Uncle Ben had been great people who taught him to help others, even when it was hard.
“Kid, we need to get the hell out of here immediately. Your father can follow the tracker, right?”
That seemed to throw the kid off, which was great because Peter was certain he was one kick away from throwing up his own intestines. “Of course he can, you idiot! Do you not know how trackers work?”
“Great! Let's go then!”
Getting off the cave was surprisingly easy. Peter half expected a dozen more ninjas to pop up but apparently Evil Old Guy was so amazed by his own plans that he didn't bother to bring backup.
The world outside wasn't much better than the cave. There was something decidedly rancid in the air but the noise was, by far, the biggest problem, with dozens if not hundreds of people screaming off in the distance.
‘I mean, it checks out. Evil Old Guy did mention a fuck ton of bombs ready to blow up across the city.’
“Do you even know how to get back to Gotham?”
Someone has to teach the kid to be a little bit more grateful because Peter was pretty damn sure you’re not supposed to antagonize your rescuers so much, especially when you can’t even walk on your own. Hopefully he can get to the kid’s dad, warn him about the creepy unconscious ninjas and get away soon enough.
Also apparently Peter does not need to get his ears checked because the Evil Old Guy did, in fact, say Gotham earlier.
“Gotham? Is that where you live?”
“Of course! Do you not know of Gotham’s greatest superheroes? I am literally Robin!”
Gotham.
Robin.
The League of Assassins.
Peter is in a fucking DC comic.
Peter is holding who can only be Damian fucking Wayne.
“Are you having a brain aneurysm? If you are going to stop walking, I insist you put me down immediately!”
Peter feels like his mind has cracked. He feels like this is all just a freakishly long nightmare and that soon he will wake up in his bed, back in his little apartment in Queens, and Aunt May will be waiting for him to get ready for school. He has to be dreaming because there’s no way Doctor Strange sent him to a comic book universe filled with overpowered supervillains that can’t fucking stay dead no matter how many times they get killed.
“Kid, I need you to be so fu- freaking real with me right now”, Peter pulls the kid down from his shoulder and stares him right in the eyes. The kid’s - Damian’s - eyes are unnaturally green and seeing them up close feels like a punch in the gut. “You’re Robin?”
“I thought we had established that. Did you hit your head during the fight? Are you struggling to remember basic information?” There’s actual concern beneath all the overplayed distaste and preteen aggression and Peter fights back the urge to ruffle the kid’s messy hair.
“You… You are Batman’s kid? Robin? Boy wonder?”
The title seems to throw the kid off for a second. Did Peter mess up the titles? Is that a first robin exclusive title? “I do not claim that childish title but yes, I am, in fact, Batman’s partner.”
“The Evil Old Guy I just fought is Ra's al Ghul?”
“Where have you learned that name? You said you weren’t affiliated with the League!”
Peter is so so screwed.
“I’m not, kid, I promise! Look… I don’t really know what the f- heck is going on but we need to get going. Do you have any way of communicating with Batman or do we just have to hope he’ll meet us in the middle?”
“My name is Robin and you will not change the subject! I demand to know where you have learned of the Al Ghuls and how you knew I had been brought to this location by the League!”
So screwed.
“K- Robin, I promise you I am not with the League. I know you want answers but, right now, we need to get you to Batman before those men wake up.”
“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over. You will explain yourself once we reach Gotham.”
Getting to Gotham feels like a never ending journey. Partially because Peter has no idea how to get there and is relying on Robin’s orders to find his way. He tries to follow the general direction of where all the noise is coming from but it seems like the entire city is screaming in unison.
Robin has finally stopped trying to interrogate him and Peter couldn’t be more thankful. His stomach is trying to patch itself together but there must be something in the wound because he can feel the skin growing in a weird pattern. He hopes his body manages to dissolve or expel whatever it is because he is not looking forward to having to cut himself open and pry around for dirt or pieces of rock. He’s also terribly hungry and he can actually feel Robin’s small body weighing on his shoulder, something that shouldn’t even be possible in the first place.
Peter also has no idea what he’s going to do after he hands Robin over. He needs to find a place to stay with running water and electricity so he can take a look at his suit, see if there’s anything he can do to fix it. He also needs to find food and take a nap.
“Hands off the kid now!”
A loud voice pulls Peter from his thoughts. There’s a man standing in front of him, black leather jacket with a bleeding bat covering his entire chest. He’s wearing bright red helmet that covers his entire head and Peter knows immediately who he’s supposed to be.
Red Hood.
The Robin who died.
Jason fucking Todd.
Peter feels the last of his sanity shrivel up and die as Red Hood steps closer.
“Hey man, I’m not gonna hurt Robin. I was trying to bring him back to Batman.” He pulls Robin off his shoulder and lets him run towards the other hero (vigilant? Anti-hero?). For a second, Robin looks like he’s not gonna make it but he manages to wobble just enough to crash against Red Hood’s legs without falling. “I found him in a cave with a bunch of ninjas. The kid says they are part of the League of Assassins?”
The man stretches a hand towards him in a clear ‘stay there, don’t move’ motion so Peter does exactly that. Red Hood starts to check the kid’s wounds, hands slowly moving across his body and noting what areas seem bruised or otherwise wounded. Robin takes the opportunity to steal his earpiece and tell someone that he is alive and that the League had been responsible for his disappearance. A tense female voice answers him, clearly relieved to hear his voice. Several orders are given before Hood snaps out of his worry induced frenzy and takes back his earpiece, much to Robin’s disappointment.
“What’s your name?”
“I go by Spider-Man.”
“I haven’t heard of you. Where are you located? How did you come across Robin?”
“I’m from Queens, New York.” The words are out of Peter’s mouth before he can even think. Both Red Hood and Robin look at him strangely and Peter wants to facepalm himself. Does this universe even have New York? Or does it seem like he just made up an entire city?
“Never heard of it”, Hood is clearly not impressed and, if it weren’t for Robin’s lack of ability to stand up straight, he would probably try to get better answers out of Peter.
“Uh, yeah, it’s kind of a small city. Nothing really ever happens, I guess.”
“So how did you find Robin?”
“I was-”
Danger. Danger. Danger. Look back. Step Back. Get Away. Now.
Peter feels turns around to see something metallic come his way and it takes him a half second to realize it’s the fucking batmobile.
Peter is seeing the actual batmobile in real life.
Peter is only a few feet away from the actual Batman.
Batman.
Batman probably thinks Peter kidnapped Robin.
Did he mention he's so screwed?
The car is just loud enough to catch Red Hood’s attention and Peter takes the chance to run in the opposite direction. He doesn’t even bother looking back, as he prays to the universe to not screw him over one last time and allow him to escape a certain death by becoming Batman’s punching bag of the week.
Peter runs as fast as he can and doesn’t stop until he can no longer hear Robin’s heartbeat.