Early years education
Three weeks later and Kakashi was remembering why he preferred assassination work. Guard work was fucking boring. It had been three weeks and there hadn’t been so much as a bandit attack. He’d been reduced to playing ninja I-spy with his fellow guards (like regular I-spy, but with more cheating and sabotage), just to keep from falling asleep. At least Naruto was having a good time. There were about twelve children aged between one and six with the caravan, and Naruto was delighted to be surrounded by kids his age that didn’t shun him. In fact it hadn’t taken long for him to prove himself his father’s son and make himself their leader. He swiftly followed this by marshalling his forces into a raid on the kitchen tent in search of cake and ramen, and causing chaos throughout the campsite. When their fellow travellers called Naruto a demon child, it was with rather more justification, and infinitely less malice than Konoha ever had.
The general consensus was that Naruto was an adorable menace to society, and while people were indulgent, Kakashi decided it was in the best interests of everyone I he found a way to keep Naruto occupied. Besides, training Naruto would be a useful distraction from his own boredom.
Honestly Kakashi wasn’t too clear on early years ninja training. For some reason people had always been reluctant to leave him in charge of children. Still he figured that since Naruto was having no trouble running around, getting into places he shouldn’t, and directing his forces to cause maximum chaos, he already had a handle on the basic principles.
After a couple of hours he gave up on trying to teach him basic taijutsu forms. Naruto was excited enough by the idea, but it turned out he lacked the patience for the practice. It was ok, he was still very small, maybe his attention span would grow as he did. He thought about starting the kid on ninjutsu, then images of the chaos Naruto could cause with a basic wind jutsu, or God forbid a fire jutsu, flooded his mind. He shuddered. Definitely no ninjutsu until Naruto was old enough to learn restraint.
Then Kakashi had an idea. If Naruto was too small and chaotic for practical work, maybe it would do him some good to get a headstart on the theory. He even had a couple of low level theory scrolls tucked in with his things, left over from his long distant genin days. He got the scrolls out and passed them to Naruto.
“If you have any questions about any of it just ask me ok.” Naruto just stared blankly, first at the scrolls, then at him.
“Questions about what niisan?”
“Questions about the stuff written in the scrolls of course.” Naruto just kept up the blank look of incomprehension. A few minutes later a horrible suspicion started to dawn on Kakashi. Naruto couldn’t read yet. Kakashi allowed himself a brief moment to panic. Surely that wasn’t normal, maybe the kyuubi was blocking his reading ability somehow, or what if one of those bastards back at konoha had hit him on the head? What if there was brain damage? No, Naruto seemed perfectly fine otherwise, as far as Kakashi could work out, maybe it was just those bastards back in Konoha, neglecting him, not bothering to teach him. He grabbed the child development book that had recently become his bible, in the hope of finding out how far behind those bastards had put Naruto. “Small children normally start learning to read between the ages of three and six, the exact rate of reading comprehension varies from child to child.” Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. Ok good Naruto wasn’t behind. In fact if he got Naruto started now, he would actually be ahead. Kakashi grinned underneath his mask.
Two hours later, and the two of them were sat with a book, running through the meanings of the symbols. Kakashi’s child rearing book said that children learned to read best, from reading books, and Kakashi had just the series.
“And this word says “bosoms””
“What are bosoms, Kakashi niisan” Naruto had such an adorable inquiring mind. Kakashi was so proud. Information gathering was a valuable skill for a shinobi.
“Bosoms are the cushiony pillows of delight that grace the chests of the fairer sex?” Kakashi smiled distantly, at the thought of remembered delights.
“Huh? Why are you smiling like that niisan”
“When you are older you’ll understand.”
...
Konoha’s council was in an uproar. They had just convened for their third meeting regarding the Kakashi situation, and still no answers were forthcoming.
“And we’re definitely sure he took the jinchuuriki?” Koharu was still hoping that part would turn out to be a bad dream. No such luck.
“Yes we’re very, very sure.” Fugaku replied. “We investigated fully. The Jinchuuriki is gone, Hatake is gone, there is a known connection, and there are three witnesses who saw them together the night Hatake disappeared. We’re sure.”
“And we still don’t have any further insight on why none of this was flagged as a possibility on his psych profile?” Shikaku enquired.
“No. Nothing we have indicates any particular predisposition towards kidnapping. I mean we have him down as unstable, but he’s a jounin, worse, he’s Anbu. It’s practically a requirement. Certainly there wasn’t anything to indicate this.” Inoichi was doing a very good job not sounding defensive, which was impressive, considering the fact that it was the psych nin’s responsibility to catch these things before they happened. Then Hiashi cleared his throat.
“I may have some insight.” Everyone turned to look. Hiashi just smiled serenely at them, with all the self-satisfied smugness of someone who’s figured out something that ought to be obvious. Danzo broke first.
“Care to share with the class?” He said dryly.
“You’re all looking at this wrong. You’re all looking at Kakashi, checking his psych profiles, his mission reports, trying to find some indication of what he was going to do.”
“Well it was Kakashi that did it. Unless you think the two year old is the mastermind.” Koharu pointed out. The whole room gained the distinct impression that Hiashi was rolling his eyes. It was kind of hard to tell with the Hyuuga, but there was just something in his expression.
“I’m saying that you’re looking at Kakashi when you should be looking at Hatake.” It was beneath the dignity of Konoha’s council members to bash their heads against the table, but more than one of them seriously considered it.
“You think it’s a clan issue?” Shikaku grasped the implications fastest.
“The Hatake may have dwindled over the years but they are still a shinobi clan. And as everyone knows Ninja clans have… traditions. Some more unsavoury than others.” Everyone in the room carefully failed to point out the Hyuuga’s own unsavoury tradition. “During the warring clans era, which was not so long ago as many people like to think, certain practices were carried out by some clans, and just because those, practices, may have ceased after the founding of the village that doesn’t mean that the values that encouraged them have also died out.”
“You’re talking about child stealing.” Fugaku cut to the chase with characteristic bluntness. “Disgraceful business that.”
“Oh and child extermination policies were so much more humane?” Tsume snapped back at him, with all the viciousness of a clan that had done their own fair share of cub stealing back before Konoha’s founding.
“At least we didn’t raise kids to fight against their own flesh and blood.”
“No you’d rather they never grew up at all.”
“Silence.” Danzo thundered. “Let us return to the matter in hand. Hiashi, you were saying?” Hiashi waited a few moments before continuing.
“Without making any moral judgement on the morality of child stealing, I simply wish to point out that the Hatake as a clan were known for the practice. I believe the saying went “cubs under four, if you steal them they’re yours.” Kakashi, was raised Hatake, with Hatake traditions, and Hatake attitudes, and Hatake bedtime stories. It is known that many Shinobi fall back on the comfort of familiar things when under stress, and that includes clan law and convention. By clan law, his clan law, if Kakashi wanted a child he had a right to steal them from an enemy, and Hatake’s psych reports do show a growing level of disaffection with Konoha. It might not be enough on its own but if we combine it with Fugaku’s report on the actions of the civilian witnesses…” He trailed off meaningfully.
“Minato did practically raise him. It is likely he saw the kid as pack. If he saw the kid being hurt it would have kicked his protective instincts into overdrive, and everyone knows wolves will do anything to protect the pack’s cubs.” Tsume said consideringly.
“And as clan head his first legal responsibility would have been to protect the best interests of his clan.” Fugaku added grudgingly.
“Right so the conclusion we’ve come to is that clan history needs to be taken into account when doing psych evals.” Homura summarised.
“And that we need to remain aware that the values of clans are not necessarily the same as those of the village.” Danzo added, with a sidelong look at Fugaku. Shikaku decided to end the meeting before things got nasty.