Please state your employment history
Kakashi had often wondered why so many missing nin turned to a life of crime. Now he knew. He had never realized how much he’d taken a steady income for granted until he… didn’t have one. Money was a problem. Kakashi hadn’t had a chance to visit the bank before he left, so he only had as much cash as he’d been able to put his hands on in a hurry, and it didn’t go nearly as far as he’d expected it to. Naruto, adorable though he might be was a money pit. Kakashi had never seen someone eat so much ramen in one sitting. He still wasn’t entirely sure where such a small child could be putting it. Plus there was all the crap that you apparently had to buy for small children, clothes, toys, plastic sippy cups. It had only taken two weeks for the money to run out.
So now he needed to find employment, which was… unexpectedly difficult. He’d never had to look for work before. He’d got his first job at five and hadn’t changed it since. He wasn’t entirely sure how the civilian job market even worked. Was there some kind of central employment room, like the mission room but with less assassinations and more accountancy.
He needed the employment but it didn’t take him long to come to an unfortunate realisation. He had no references, no qualifications, and no experience, for any civilian job that paid properly. In fact as he ran through all the things that he knew how to do he came to the slightly depressing conclusion that he had almost no life skills that didn’t relate to killing in some way. He couldn’t cook, his maths skills were more suited to calculating trajectories than balancing a budget, his handwriting was atrocious, and his people skills were worse. He sighed. Mercenary work it was then.
He’d managed to find a job by surreptitiously asking around. Some merchant wanted his caravan guarded and was too cheap to hire village ninja. Interestingly enough Kakashi was still getting paid more than he had as a Konoha jounin. The village’s cut must be bigger than he’d thought. The best thing about the guard job though, was the fact that he could take Naruto with him. If he’d taken an assassination mission, or a theft mission, he’d have had to leave Naruto somewhere to avoid complications. On a caravan guard mission though, no one would mind having a kid tag along, hell there might even be other kids on the trip. Naruto might have a chance to make some friends. Speaking of Naruto, Kakashi looked around for the little ball of sunshine and panicked. Naruto was gone.
After panicking, pacing, forcing himself to calm down, and trying to put himself into the mind of a hungry Naruto, Kakashi found him at the ramen stand, there was a crowd. It was actually a slightly impressive sight. He watched as Naruto looked imploringly at yet another bystander, and managed to swindle them into buying him another bowl of ramen. It was amazing how he was able to project an aura of starving desperation while surrounded by mountains of bowls he’d just emptied. Kakashi felt a warm buzz of pride deep inside his chest, such an adorable little con artist. Little Naruto was clearly following in the oldest of shinobi traditions. Look harmless and get other people to give you stuff. Maybe training Naruto would be easier than he thought.
Konoha’s council was having discussions. They had been having them for quite a while. The jounin population of the village was starting to get curious, and in the finest of Shinobi traditions they had started gossiping about it. Clearly something major had happened. What with the Anbu being called out, and the village on lockdown, and the council being all secretive. Although to be honest that last one didn’t mean all that much these days. They’d been secretive and paranoid since the Kyuubi attack. But still, something had clearly happened in the last couple of days to put them even more on edge than usual.
It was Anko who first pointed out what everyone else had failed to notice.
“You know I haven’t seen Hatake, around in the last few days. “ The lounge that had previously been filled with chatter went suddenly silent as the gears turned in people’s heads.
“What are you saying? You think he’s dead.” Genma asked curiously.
“If he was dead would the village be on lockdown? No, I don’t think he’s dead. I think he’s done a runner.” Anko replied with all the relish of someone who was ahead of the curve on village gossip. “Now you didn’t hear it from me, but the council have called up the records of all Hatake’s psych evals, and you know they don’t do that unless something’s gone seriously wrong.” Everyone took a moment to digest that information.
“You know the police force has been called to cordon off Hatake’s street.” Shisui decided to throw in his two cents. “I figured there was just some kind of justsu damage from one of his and Gai’s challenges, but if Hatake really did do a runner.”
“Then they’ll want to go over his apartment to see how long he’s been planning this.” Raido finished, “Yeah that would make sense, but still. Kakashi, go missing nin. I wouldn’t have pegged him for the type.”
“Maybe he finally lost it. We all know he’s not exactly stable.” Genma pointed out.
“They wouldn’t put the village on lock down just for Hatake going missing nin though. I mean it would be a problem yeah, but they didn’t even pull this when Orochimaru left.” Hayate argued. “There’s something bigger going on than one jounin going nuts, and doing a runner.” Suddenly the door opened.
“How about one jounin going nuts and stealing the Kyuubi?” Asked the new arrival Ibiki. “I just got back from interviewing the jinchuriki’s protection detail, and according to them he hasn’t been seen since the night Hatake disappeared.”
“So Kakashi really did go missing nin then?” Genma asked but the whole room waited expectantly for the answer.
“That’s what it looks like yes. Hatake’s gone, there’s no sign of a struggle, all of his weapons and personal items are missing, and his ANBU mask was left on the kitchen table.” Ibiki took a moment to appreciate the stunned silence that hit the jounin lounge.
“Shit. I did not see that coming.” Genma muttered.
“So you’re thinking he took the Kyuubi?” Raido asked, all business.
“Well the kid is missing, Hatake’s missing, they both went on the same night, and we all know who Hatake’s sensei was. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.” Anko rolled her eyes. “And yes Ibiki we all know exactly who the kid is, it doesn’t take a genius to work that out either. He’s the bloody spitting image.”
“So what happens now?” Hayate asked.
“Well the Anbu teams tracking him have lost the trail. We have no idea where he might be headed. We have no idea if he even knows where he’s headed. Right now there’s nothing we can do except put him in the bingo books, with an “apprehend if possible” notice.” Was Ibiki’s reply.
“Apprehend, not kill?” Shisui looked at Ibiki questioningly.
“He hasn’t actually injured any Konoha ninja, and considering the probability that this is the result of some sort of psychotic break, the council is of the opinion that it’s worth at least trying to see if he can be salvaged.” Everyone nodded at that. They all knew how keen the council was on conserving resources where possible, and high level ninja were valuable resources.
It had been different under the Sandaime. Not that anyone said it out loud of course, after all, officially they still were under the Sandaime. The trouble was the Sandaime hadn’t been the same since the Kyuubi attack, and according to the med nin that had treated him that night, there had been a blow to the head and some sort of brain damage. Officially he had made a full recovery. Unofficially he was now no longer fit to lead. He probably wasn’t even fit to serve as a shinobi, but with the Yondaime dead, and half the village destroyed they’d needed his reputation. Had needed to convince the other villages that they were still under a respected, experienced leader. So the Sandaime was Hokage again, and Danzo and the council did their level best to convince the other villages that he was still as sharp as ever.
Maybe the other villages bought it, but the Konoha nin knew that the Sandaime was incapacitated, and they knew who was running the village in his place, Danzo. It probably was the best option they had. Danzo might be a bastard, but he was one hell of a ninja, and he knew how to organise the village’s forces and budget. And it wasn’t like Danzo had a Hokage’s absolute authority. The power balance in the village had shifted and Danzo wasn’t the only one to have gained power by it. The Ino-Chika-Cho triad had the lockdown on the interrogation department and the regular jounin divisions, the civilian council had almost completely taken over taxation and city planning, and the med nins were a law unto themselves. But Danzo was the primary co-ordinator of village resources and factions, his grip on Anbu grew tighter every day, and on bad days he was the only living person the Sandaime recognised or would listen to. And so Danzo more than anyone else was in charge of Konoha, and it showed. It showed in the changes in law that made recruitment to the shinobi forces easier, and resignation harder, in the missions that grew ever more distasteful, in the academy curriculum that was stripped down and intensified to accelerate graduation. It showed, and people didn’t like it. Maybe it wasn’t so surprising that Hatake had snapped.