Fukuzawa With The Silver Hair
The group of students willing to confront Fukazawa was small.
Soma ofc, Chuuya, Sanji to make sure Chuuya didn’t get himself killed (no homo), Zoro bc why not, Naruto, and Dazai because he wanted to die.
They jogged through the winding oxbridge halls, keen to find out answers.
They arrived at the polished, mahogany set of doors. Fear simmered in namely Soma’s bones - he knew this had to be done but it wasn’t easy.
“Go on, knock,” Soma urged Naruto.
“Why should it be me?” Naruto asked, trying to hide his fear.
The others glared at him. “It was all your idea in the first place!” Chuuya barked angrily. The anger was just to hide his fear.
Everyone nodded, this was Naruto’s idea and it was only right he was the one to open the door.
Dazai nodded with particular gusto, eager for the death that surely awaited them.
“Fine,” Naruto gritted his teeth, “I’ll do it, but not because you want me to.”
He lifted his trembling hand. A gleam of sweat was visible on his brow. His hands were sweety too. When did it get so hot in here? Naruto thought. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fist, bringing it closer to the door. This was pure Agni! He tried asking the nine tails for some chakra but the fox was too busy playing with some new pokemon cards. It felt like he was moving in slow motion. As if his hand was never going to reach the door at all. He audibly gulped, his throat bobbing as he tried to swallow back the saliva that suddenly pooled into his mouth. Finally, his hand met the door, and he rapped on it quietly. There was no answer.
“You have to do it louder than that!” Dazai whispered loudly. He was rolling back and forth on his feet from excitement, salivating at the thought of death.
“All right, all right! Keep your trench coat on!”
Naruto went through the process again, the slow motion movements, the sweat, the nervous energy. This time he pounded on the door, so loud he was sure they could have heard it all the way down in the torture chambers.
“Hey! Not that loud!” Zoro whispered.
“Now we look super rude!” Soma whispered sadly.
“Who cares? We’re about to accuse him of theft!”
Sanji tutted loudly.
After a moment, there was a reply from the other side of the door. “Ah, I'm busy at the moment, please come back at another time.” It was Fukazawa’s voice claiming to be busy and requesting the students to come back another time.
The others began to look relieved, this was their excuse to leave!
“Ahhhhhh!!!” Naruto screamed, slamming open the doors. “We don't care if you're busy! This is important!”
The scene that welcomed into the office was a surprise to say the least.
“When I say don’t come in, it’s usually because I’m busy,” regardless Fukazawa was smiling a little, “This time you’re lucky though, I was hoping I’d be interrupted for some unfathomable reason so I’d no longer have to be here.” He turned to the only other person in the room, a person who looked oddly familiar… “Heine you’re dismissed, it doesn't matter how many people you stand on or how many trench coats you buy. Please stop sending in applications, you know we’re not short-staffed.”
Heine looked absolutely scandalised, and also a whole four feet taller than normal. With a frown he started to waddle precariously toward the door, the long brown trench coat wrapped around his long disproportionate body, the sleeves rolled up ten times for his little hands to poke out on the end of his little arms.
“Oh,” Fukazawa npted, “And leave Honey on your way out, Mori has been spamming me with SOS messages for the whole day thinking he’d lost his lover - oh, excuse me, I mean to say cousin. I’ve had to actually socialise with my students in an attempt to find the boi, it’s been a wild goose chase and I’m glad it’s over. Anyway boys, what can I do for you?”
Heine begrudgingly dropped the trench coat, revealing Honey’s precarious expression before hopping off him and beelining for the exit.
“Please don’t tell Mori,” Honey begged his peers, “It’ll ruin him, to think I’ve let other men on top of me.”
“Well,” Soma began, “Naruto has something to ask you.”
“Waaa!” Naruto screamed, “No I don't!”
Fukazawa, still sat behind his desk, twirled a pen through his fingers. The curtains were open just so, his grey hair catching the light. His lips looked particularly plump, yakata loose and showing his collar bones. In the sunlight his eyes were crystalline and clear, mouth earnest with pride as he stared between his students.
“Well from the nods of all of your friends, it’s clear you do in fact have something to say,” Fukazawa said. “But before you say anything, might I request any of you know of a drug dealer? I fear Levi has been tainted and the boys haven't gotten over my inability to procure illegal substances for them.”
Chuuya pulled a baggie out of his pocket, “Ranpo texted me, I have some mafia contacts. He agreed to stop calling me Mr Fancy Hat in exchange.”
Fukazawa opened it, licking his finger before dipping it into the bag and rubbing the white substance onto his gums. “Mmmm, this is the reason you were let into Oxbridge,” not one word of his utterance being a lie.
“Anyway, before I finish all of this coke, want to tell me what brings you all the way down here?” Fukazawa was quite enamoured with the baggie, going in for more.
“I - um-” Naruto stumbled, looking at Sanji’s serious expression in his periphery, “I - um - just wanted to tell you that Kunikida hates the meatballs the house elf slaves make, they give him the shits, he has sharted more than I can count and it is less than Ideal. K bye,” Naruto sped-walked out of the door before any of the other students could stop him.
Fukazawa held the bag of coke in confusion, staring out to where Naruto had left.
“Is he okay?”
“I - I - I don't know,” Soma said, “I think I - um - we’ll all leave - to check - to check on Naruto, he um -” Soma darted for the door.
Sure, thinking about accusing fukazawa was one thing. But standing before the man, on the other side of his large mahogany desk and staring at a sun-smattered face, his elegant yukata, his elite taste for drugs? It was too much. They couldn't accuse Fukazawa to his face. His every movement rippled with unfathomable power. His cheeriness only made him more scary.
All of the students filed out one-by-one, confident they could tell Chopper they had tried their best to restore his limited mobility.