So Long, Farewell, Elf Weed Shame, Goodbye
The riot was enough of a reason for the ex-Oxbridge students to return home. They had, after all, assaulted many, many people. Including each other (Tamaki had been yeeted into a very strong boi, after all).
The bus had been waiting for them the whole time, for the whole time they had been in Knottingham. Brooke had been waiting in the bus ever since the students had arrived at Knottingham. Thankfully he was a skeleton and therefore did not require any form of nourishment. The students had been afraid he would run away (they had, after all, seen in the stars that they would be returning to their place of origin). Brooke had been allowed outside once, to DJ for the prom. He had eaten more bacon than he had bones, was delicious.
As Tamaki said, “when in Roma, do as the Romans do” and that's what they did. They were in a filthy university and so they acted as filthy commoner university students. Knottingham was lucky to have them. Their contribution to the field of astrology was one unmatched by any other Knottingham student (by generations of Knottingham students).
What happened in Knottingham stayed in Knottingham after all. Hikaru and Kauro would forget that they finally... hem hem... Zoro would forget he killed a(nother) man. Sanji and Chuuya would forget the time they forgot to say ‘no homo’ after an interesting night out (after all, it was just one kiss on the arsehole). All would be forgotten, all of their sins, all of their transgressions. Most importantly of all, they would try to forget the people they had met along the way.
Except for one.
“You’ve been there for us this whole time,” said Zoro gratefully.
“You were the one person that made this shithole bearable,” agreed Sanji, trying to stop the word ‘shithole’ from taking him back to THAT night...with Chuuya...
“If I HAD to come to a filthy school where the commoners drink formula milk and instant coffee, I’m glad it was this one - just because of you,” Tamaki wiped away a tear of emotion. Dazai squeezed his hand and smiled warmly.
“You were the best drinking partner, friend, wingman, and most importantly BRO to all of us at this school. Thank you for keeping us sane. Thank you for making us feel at home. Thank you for all you’ve done,” Sasuke said. It was the first time he had said so much. It was a strange feeling to be this vulnerable with his emotions. He had to take a few breaths so he wouldn’t tear up. That would ruin his too cool for school image ofc.
“You’re one of us bro,” Naruto winked and extended a hand, “Please come with us.”
All of the Oxbridge students nodded and smiled.
Heine’s eyes watered. He opened his mouth but couldn’t speak, he was far too emotional. This had been his dream since he was just a little boy, back when he’d been less knowledgeable of the ways of the world and yet the same height, still drinking formula milk.
“Cool,” said a monotonous voice behind.
Heine turned around in shock to discover the janitor, Levi, standing behind him carrying a mop that he’d just been cleaning Marco’s piss with.
“I’ll come. I mean why not,” said Levi, sounding bored. He picked up the piss drenched mop and threw it back at Marco. It caught him right in the face, his piss trickling down from his face to his whole body. The fear of a mop coming his way had caused him to accidentally wet himself again as well. With Levi going who would clean up after him? He cried and pissed as he pondered this.
Levi walked over to the Oxbridge lot while they cheered and high-fived and whistled for him, throwing their arms around him, asking for his number so they could add him to the group chat. Heine watched from afar, his heart sinking like a stone, his face crumpling in agony.
All of the students passed by Brooke to enter the bus. They had even left jackets and snacks for the ride back, though Brooke had stolen Chopper’s nintendo switch (he didn’t even have the hooves to play it, duh). It didn’t class as stealing when it was taken from Chopper anyway, the pathetic rodent was being selfish by feeding into the capitalist concept of ownership.
Thankfully kid Luffy was also present, otherwise he would have been left behind in the disgusting Knottingham and been raised by rats. He had enjoyed eating the rats, raw (how he ate most things). How the child would turn out, if raised by rats! Perhaps he would devolve, forget how to piss into an actual toilet. They had the power to do such things, they after all homed the infamous Yuki.
The students slumped into their seats. Chopper was stuck by the radiator, where Ranpo had (a very long time ago) accidentally dropped some snacks - the corner always smelled like vomit and rotten eggs. Nekozawa was sitting beside his girlfriend, Robin, who had decided to pursue a degree at Oxbridge. Of course Dazai and Tamaki were sitting side-by-side.
As the last students filed into the bus, Sanji and Zoro flanked the doors.
They looked over the bus. “Sorry Robin, you’re gonna have to go,” Sanji said through a puff of smoke. “There’s not enough space on the bus for you too.” He was correct, after all; there were only around twenty empty seats, the students were already being squeezed into the claustrophobic space as is.
Nekozawa nodded. He didn’t know what else he could do. “He’s right,” he said. “Goodbye, please don't assassinate any of us on your way out.” After all, Nekozawa was quite excited to have Levi sit beside him, even if it was just because there was no space elsewhere on the bus.
Outside the bus stood what remained of the Knottingham astrology class to wave them off. There weren't many left now. The bodies of the deceased students had been scooped up and tossed in the trash where they belonged, but the emotional funeral was not enough to settle the raging feelings the class members felt
Jae-ha and Shin-ah stood in stony silence. Ao sat on Shin-ah’s shoulder, a malicious glint in her eye. She was happy to see them go. Never again will they question her strength in battle. She was quite sure it was her battle spirit that scared them off.
Shin-ah wasn't sure what to feel. In the short time the Oxbridge students had been at the school he had lost two precious comrades, no, friends, his family. He would dearly miss Hak and Zeno.
Eren smirked. Even though his sister/waifu Mikasa had mysteriously disappeared during the dance and was assumed dead, it was no big loss, after all his plan to rid the school of the oxbridge students was a success. He scared them off. The Titans were undefeated. Sure, he hadn't actually done anything apart from some mild bullying. It certainly wasn't his fault that Yuki tried to shoot up the school. He DEFINITELY did not encourage yuki, nor did he supply him with the gun.
The bus finally pulled away. Heine felt a pull on his heartstrings, and suddenly his little legs started running before he even noticed.
“Please! Take me with you! Don't leave me here with THEM! I can't take another year of it, no not even another second! They’re so stupid, so, so stupid!” he screamed, but no one heard, the bus was already too far away, and poor poor little commoner Heine was left behind. A single tear slid down his face as he turned round to face the Knottingham students, who of course heard everything (though they hardly counted as people).
“I didn't have much respect for you before this professor,” Jae-ha said coldly, “but that was truly pathetic. You clearly have no understanding of beauty.” He flipped his green ponytail as he twirled round to leave, the remnants of Knottingham students followed.
Heine only sighed. He should have known that Oxbridge was too good for him. Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families were lucky enough to spend their time at the elite university Oxbridge University. It was famously known as the playground for the super rich and beautiful. But that doesn't mean he should ever give up. No. Giving up was for the weak. And Heine was anything but weak. He’ll show them. He’ll show all of them. After all, what kind of professor would he be if he couldn't teach at Oxbridge? Not a very good one is the obvious answer. He'd make a deal with the devil before giving up...