Eye Of The Deer
Dazai turned to Sanji and muttered slowly, “Do you think if we let one of them die, they’ll have to shut Knottingham Trent down?”
All of the ex-Oxbridge students, bar Soma, were in the corn fields around half an hour's walk from the Knottingham Trent campus. It was clearly a place for this kind of thing: when they’d first arrived a couple of kids were sharing a joint, but upon seeing the thicc bodies of Zoro, Sanji, Sasuke, etc etc they all scarpered.
They had of course been conversing about the cage match between Chopper and Atsushi, both of which were fighting for Zoro’s hand. They simply wanted to be his suitor. Dazai was slightly shocked by the revelation: he didn’t even think Chopper had a sexual drive, but for him to aim so high out of his league? Bizarre. Dazai shivered in disgust. If he was in Zoro’s place, Dazai would most certainly kill himself - for real. Maybe he’d get mewtwo’s thicc fingers to end it all for him. Didn’t Victor have experience in choking too?
Sanji rolled his eyes. “Nah, knowing our luck. And as much as I want the Knottingham grounds to burn in a raging hellfire with the students trapped inside the disgusting festering walls, I don't think we'd benefit from going to Incereal College. From what I’ve heard, the lessons there are taken out of tents as they were unable to afford actual facilities.”
“Don’t they drink their own bathwater in that uni?” Haruhi piped up. “I considered going there, but my tastes are more for other people’s bathing fluids so I decided against it.”
Tamaki nodded supportively. His daughter was so wize.
There was a section of the corn field that was raw and nekkid from any plants, looking as if a tractor had flattened it. It was the perfect area for the cage fight to occur. They’d brought kid Luffy along - he was excited to see a kitty and reindeer have a play tustle. At that moment he was shoving bon bons into his cheeks, head falling just below Zoro’s hip.
No-one knew who had been dressing or feeding him considering the kid went missing for hours on end, but he always emerged again from wherever so none of the ex-Oxbridge students were too concerned.
Chopper was yet to arrive. Atsushi stood in the middle of the crowd, staring up at the starless sky. The moon hit his dual-coloured eyes and made them sheen in an unnerving way, jaw and lips tensed in seriousness. The students had never seen Atsushi look so serious, so invested - even in the court case, even when he was resurrected from his own death. His fight for Zoro brought out some new kind of rage within him.
Zoro stood to the side, gazing upon the scene lazily. He’d lost his mobile (no shock, he DID have bad navigation skills) and seemed to have little interest in the fight altogether.
About ten minutes of strenuous tension later, everyone enraptured by Atsushi’s delicious tenseness, Chopper wheeled in. His chair was squeaking unattractively and he puffed. He’d clearly struggled getting through the rough terrain of the corn fields (no-one had bothered to account for this, and in all honesty it wasn’t a HUGE deal because the deer had gotten there, right?). Some stones had gotten trapped under his hooves uncomfortably.
“I thought you weren’t gonna show your rat face you rat bastard,” Atsushi snarled, words twisted with a hiss.
Everyone gasped. At-Atsushi-kun?? Using such foul words???? So OOC!!!!
Eren, who’d snuck in to watch the cage fight from the corner of the field with his newly acquired ally Yuki, fanned his face. He just couldn’t believe Atsushi! He was only so invested because he wanted to take them down of course - not because under all the lies he told himself and his peers he idolised those beautiful ex-Oxbridge students and wished he was good enough to have been in Oxbridge, side-by-side with the elites - Zoro, Sanji, Sasuke, Dazai - he’d even want to be near Sakura! Everyone!
Chopper huffed, trying to get some air. “I’M NO RAT! I AM NOT! I AM A REINDEER! I PROMISE YOU!”
Atsushi gritted his teeth in a snarl. “I WILL YEET YOU AND EAT YOU (out)!!!”
Kid Luffy shoved more bon bons into his mouth.
That was all too much for Chopper. As someone who had already been eaten once before and now treasured his final two legs, he was quite triggered by Atsushi’s exclamation.
He pushed himself forward, the wheels on his chair going round and round. They squeaked and creaked. He pushed himself forward, and within a single moment Atsushi had his thicc tiger paw out. Automatically his cat ears and tail also came out, but that was only because Zoro was in attendance.
Unfortunately what Atsushi had forgotten was that Chopper, in his wheelchair and as a four-legged mammal, was much shorter than Atsushi, and plus he was also under the influence of the devil fruit + rumble ball. This gave him an impossible strength, even though it was not visible to the naked layman’s eye. Chopper had made these balls, both of them, for this precise fight. After all, how could a disabled reindeer go against a whole ass tiger?
Atsushi, who had forgotten to look downward to where his opponent was (he was used to fighting things over the height of 3ft), did not even see Chopper’s strike! The small reindeer, as if possessed by a demonic entity, rolled all the way to his opponent, naturally gaining momentum as he got closer to the tiger-man. His eyes were blazing with fire and teeth were gritted, absolutely enraged by the feline trying to edge into his mans’ heart. How dare he!
With a pounce - Atsushi still staring at eye-level, brows crumpled as he waited for Chopper (absolutely forgetting Chopper was not a human) - Chopper yeeted himself forward, two front hooves connecting perfectly with Atsushi’s shins.
The pain was a shock to Atsushi. Kyoya, who was holding all the bets, watched on fervently. Kid Luffy was out of sweets and had moved onto his gold-wrapped candyfloss.
Everyone gasped! There was an audible CRACK -
Atsushi thought, for a mere moment, that both of his shins had snapped. Alas; this was not the case. Regardless of all of Chopper’s strength, he had not stumbled more than a few inches back, and could feel a twig underfoot. Was that where the loud noise was from?
Atsushi turned over his shoulder to look at his mans, the mans that had saved his lyfe, the green-haired moss-haired mans.
Zoro was yawning into his open fist, eyes focussed on something past Atsushi’s shoulders - the trees.
Seeing Zoro was suddenly striking. Chopper was braying at Atsushi’s feet for his attention, kicking up soil and corn stems, but Atsushi found he couldn’t even spare him an ounce of his attention. What was he doing? Why would he think that fighting Chopper would make Zoro reciprocate his feelings? It seemed rather pathetic, after all. Sebastian’s actions had taught him more than words could: of how he deserved to be treated, to be worshipped, to have his fur grromed lovingly, not to have to fight for someone’s attention. He knew he deserved affection and love - perhaps Zoro was better suited to being a crush, anyway.
Did he really miss his friends, Soma and Nekozawa, enough to fall completely off the rails and engage in a fight against Chopper, of all students?
Atsushi’s eyes wandered. He couldn’t even feel Chopper’s heavy hooves bumping on the surface of his feet. With his fast healing, it didn’t matter what the cripple did to him anyway. He’d get over it.
Just behind Zoro - Atsushi was amazed he didn’t notice sooner - was NEKO! Nekozawa! The friend Atsushi hadn’t seen since entering Knottingham - he’d gotten a girlfriend and completely abandoned Atsushi. He took a step towards Neko. Of course Soma wasn’t there, stuck on Oxbridge after forgetting to get on the bus to Knottingham. Beside Nekozawa stood a beautiful dark-haired woman - his girlfriend, Robin! Atsushi recognised her from Nekozawa’s social media posts. Nekozawa had come all this way to support Atsushi in this fight?
Atsushi felt overwhelmed. He didn’t know what had made him agree to such a cage match. The students around him seemed to have lost a lot of their interest - Chopper was seeming more and more pathetic by the moment. Not that Atsushi noticed. He had tunnel vision, being able to see only Nekozawa (or rather, Nekozawa’s hood, considering the boi’s face was entirely covered).
He took a step towards Zoro. Chopper’s brays got incessantly louder, hooves beating against the ground. Even Zoro looked towards Atsushi, though only for a brief second in the hopes that avoiding eye contact would prevent the tiger from engaging in conversation.
Little did Zoro or Chopper know, Atsushi was headed towards his true love. Nekozawa. After all, the power of friendship could surpass all. It even outdid the silly crush Atsushi had for Zoro, the man who had once (albeit accidentally) saved his life.
When Atsushi brushed past Zoro there was a clear understanding that the fight was over. The tension deflated from the circle of students. Kyoya sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. Did Chopper win by default?
Though as Shanks’ and Hawkeye’s students this wasn’t an easy idea to accept, considering Chopper’s ‘win’ was rather pathetic, so it was unanimously decided that all the bets were returned to their owners. Shanks refused to take the Kohinoor diamond back, saying he had no use for it since his nephew Luffy had gotten tired of THAT silly toy.
Unfortunately Chopper hadn’t got the memo. His heart soared in jubilation. Now he could finally ask Zoro, for real, for real this time, to take his hoof as a suitor, and Zoro had to say yes considering Chopper had won his hand fair and square! Chopper almost couldn’t believe his luck!
Chopper fell onto his two front legs once more, reminiscent of that very morning. “I, Chopper, would like to apply to be the suitor of you, Zoro.” Chopper looked up through his eyelashes at the moss-haired sexi giant-man. “WIll you please accept me as a humble lover and love me tenderly in the cold winter nights, love me deeply in spring, passionately in summer, and of course lovingly in autumn.”
Zoro looked down at him dumbly.
Most of the students around were clamouring and chatting, readying themselves to leave the premises.
Chopper shouted to be heard over them, “THIS MORNING YOU COULDN’T SAY YES BECAUSE OF ATSUSHI BUT NOW YOU CAN BE MY BOI!”
“What?”
“Zoro lost his phone a while ago,” Chuuya had only come to retrieve Sanji but couldn’t help but overhear the conversation. Truth be told, he and Sanji had found Zoro’s phone that afternoon but thought it would be amusing to see Zoro go without it. Particularly considering the events of that evening and how most of the information was being aired on the group chat (how Yuki and Eren had learnt of them was unknown). Chuuya was unsure of how much Zoro knew of the cage fight - but as he’d gathered from that evening - the answer - was not very - much.
Sanji tossed it in the air, “Here, moss-head.” He didn’t even bother to look and see of Zoro had caught it (he had, of course) and threw his arm over Chuuya’s shoulder, steering him away before doing THAT leg thing and yeeting into the sky w his boi.
“Ah cool, thanks,” Zoro said, turning his back on Chopper and heading in the opposite direction of the university (he was geographically challenged, sue him).
Chopper was shocked by the abrupt turn of events. What was happening? Why wasn’t Zoro immediately saying ‘yes’ to his proclamation and taking his deserving side beside Chopper? He had fought for this mans! His body was too stiff to chase after him, but he opened his mouth to call for him -
He couldn’t manage more than a woeful bray.
Chopper realised he had been left alone in the corn fields, with a squeaky wheelchair he was sure was on the brink of breaking, and no boi to make up for it.