Oxbridge, Oxbridge, Oxy Bridgey Oxbridge
Fukazawa stood at the head of the table. On the table was a velvet-covered item, hidden under a cloth. The teachers were all there; Hawkeye, Shanks, Kakashi, Victor. Ace stood to the side in his shorts, face shaded from lack of lighting. It reflected off his cupids bow and sculpted abs, visible through his unbuttoned shirt.
"Since we returned from prison, I’m sure you’ve all become aware of the issue that plagues our school.” Fukazawa placed one of his legs on a chair – Ace pulled apart the curtains at that exact moment, sunlight smattering perfectly over Fukazawa’s angular, beautiful face – he pulled one of the layers of his yukata open, revealing his puffed chest. His hair glimmered in silvered streaks, bright enough to awaken the snoozing Kakashi. “Our reputation is in tatters!” he shouted. The window smashed from his emotional energy. Thankfully the eagle infestation had been dealt with already. “We must do something to remedy this disgusting, disgraceful situation!”
Kakashi yawned. “Why? Our enrolment numbers haven’t been affected. We’re still the best school in the country.”
Fukazawa, ignoring his subordinate, spoke over him. “As I said, WE MUST REMEDY THIS SITUATION. We must – REMEDY – this situation. We must organise a –“ Fukazawa paused dramatically “- Triwizard Tournament!”
The teachers collectively gasped – though it was only Victor, his voice echoing around the room. He later turned to Ace, muttering, “What even is a Triwizard Tournament?” Ace didn’t reply.
Fukazawa pulled the purple cloth off the mysterious table item, “I found this bargain at the flea market, only 50p which is all Ranpo left me after buying a custom-built Smartie maker. We will gather our two greatest rivals, Sheffield Harem and Knottingham Trent – and when we beat them our school will be triumphant, our reputation restored, and Ranpo will make us all Smarties with our faces on!”
“We should try to minimise the deaths. Maybe under ten?” Hawkeye suggested.
“Five, maybe?” Shanks considers.
“No!” Fukazawa screamed, tears running down his face; if there were more windows to smash, they would be broken. “No deaths. Not this time.”
-
The Great Hall was filled with the three schools – Sheffield Harem, Knottingham Trent, and of course the most magnificent, Oxbridge. The air was filled with anticipation. Students clamoured behind the classmates they hoped to be chosen to represent their school in such a prideful time; Sanji, Zoro, Naruto, Sasuke, and Dazai were the Oxbridge hopefuls. Knottingham Trent supported Near, Akise, and Yuno as their competitors; Sheffield Harem had Kurapika and Killua.
The Goblet glowed in the centre of the hall. The Oxbridge teachers were confident that this would be a successful attempt to bring their school’s reputation as only the strongest and smartest minds had applied. They had tried to force Victor to apply, but Fukazawa stopped them with the greatest regret as teachers could not apply for the event, regardless of how humourous it would be.
The Goblet of Fire shone brightly, bluish white flames rising high. The flames suddenly turned deep red and a piece of paper fluttered out of it. Fukuzawa caught it and announced, ”the champion from Knottingham Trent will be…..Yukiteru Amano.”
Yuno starts crying out of fear for her ‘beloved’. How would they have their happy ending if Yuki died? Other students from the university muttered to themselves. Who was this ‘Yuki’ was the question on everyone’s lips.
The Goblet spat out another piece of paper.
“The champion from Sheffield Harem is….Leorio Paladiknight.”
There was a smattering of applause. Leorio was the popular jock of the institution. He may not be the best option but the people still loved him.
Now it was Oxbridge’s turn. The students were cheering before the paper was released. There were two groups of students shouting, one chanting ‘Sanji, Sanji, Sanji,’ and another group screaming, ‘Zoro, Zoro, Zoro!’ The Zoro side was supported by Atsushi, who was selling Zoro merch to clamouring students.
Flames engulfed the ceiling of the hall as the last slip of paper is released. Fukazawa catches it mid-air with a thumb and forefinger when it starts its decline to the floor.
“The champion for the school of champions is – “ the crowd quietens in anticipation, “Monkey - D. Luffy? Uh,” Fukazawa looked at the other side of the paper, finding it blank.
“What?” Shanks shouted, pushing his way through the crowd. “Luffy? Who the hell put my nephew’s name in the cup? Huh?” He turns to the crowd, shouting at random students, squaring his shoulders, showering them with spittle. The veins in his neck throbbed prominently, fists scrunched up. Students cowered away.
Victor nabbed the paper from his fist, eating it. “Mmm, toasty warm.”
“Monkey D. Luffy is not a student at Oxbridge. We will allow the Goblet to choose another champion for our school,” Fukazawa announced. Again that anticipation remerged, tension tightening the throat of the students. “Umehito Nekozawa.” The cheers diminished in confusion.
“Well done and good luck for the tournament, schools and students! Champions and their head teachers, please follow Sebastian Michailis, who is here as a stand-in judge for Lord Goo,” Netero, the headmaster of Sheffield Harem announced. Sebastian was an impartial judge for the competition as the stand-in for Lord Goo, the leader of the lands.
-
On the way to the classroom where all the champions were heading, Shanks grabbed Nekozawa by the collar and dragged him into an empty room, Nekozawa cowered under his hood, frightened Shanks would rip it down.
Fukuzawa strode in, the other teachers behind him.
“Nekozawa!” Fukuzawa shouts, his voice echoing off the walls, anger marring his beautiful face, sweet dipping down off the ridge of his nose. “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?!?”
“N-n-n-no sir,” Nekozawa stuttered.
“Then did you ask someone to put it in for you?”
“No sir,” Nekozawa repeated.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Nekozawa merely nodded. “Then who is responsible for this? Only the strongest of our students were supposed to be entered!”
Victor stepped forward. “Oh that was me!” he announced.
The room was filled with stunned silence.
Finally Fukuzawa spoke. “Why?” The question hung in the air.
“You wanted me to put the strongest students in, and Nekozawa is a sauceror! That’s why I put in the Great Luffini’s name as well!” Victor announced proudly.
The teachers collectively groaned, Fukuzawa’s head hanging in defeat. They all knew Nekozawa would never be able to win in the tasks they had lined up, despite his limited powers. Shanks strode up to Victor and punched him, Victor’s head snapping back, his body crumpling to the floor. “That’s for my nephew!” Shanks told the unconscious body.