Chapter 6
I was blissfully asleep until I was abruptly flung back to consciousness. The feeling of limbs after drifting around for so long was not very pleasant, and I only barely stopped myself from throwing up. I glanced up at and saw a forest in front of me, and tall buildings in the distance. Where was I? How long had it been? I narrowed my eyes- the sun was bright, even when it was filtered through the canopy of leaves.
Kakashi? I thought. You in there?
...Nothing. Fuck.
"KAKASHI SENSEI!!!"
The distant sound of yelling brats startled me. Double fuck. Team 7 was here and clearly in some sort of trouble, so at least a week has passed. Didn't Inoichi say that I should be asleep for a month? Weren't we supposed to be in Wave? It certainly didn't look like it; maybe the timeline was different than the show? I picked myself up and dusted myself off. It didn't matter right now; I started jogging towards the sound of the brats, before deciding to leap into the trees and try ninja running. Might as well, right?
My feet automatically stuck to the branches, decades of chakra control practice and muscle memory keeping me upright. The moment I tried to focus on what I was doing however, I tripped on my feet and fell off the tree and into a pond. Great. Luckily, my (Kakashi's) body automatically landed in a crouch on top of the water. Muscle memory was no joke, man. Unluckily, the moment I started focusing on that, I fell right into the pond.
God dammit.
I flaied around for a bit before I realized that I could stand, and sheepishly pulled myself out. I flopped on my back, staring up at the sky. I was soaking wet, probably lost, and stuck in Kakashi's body. Again. I picked myself up again and sighed, dripping wet. If only there was a way to get rid of this water-
Wait. I'm a ninja. A magical ninja. I can do whatever I want!
I concentrated on the water, and imagined it moving to the side.
Nope. Maybe I had to try a little harder?
I tried again, this time actively thinking about my chakra. I closed my eyes, and imagined it seeping out and mixing with the water, and then controlling it and moving it to the side. I could feel the chakra circulating, it just wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. Nothing happened, so I pushed a little harder and-
SNAP.
Oh shit. I immediately stopped. That sounded like I had just cracked a joint, but I hadn't even been moving. I felt a little sore, but I didn't know if it was from the chakra or from me just noticing it. Something to do with my chakra coils? I pushed a bit of chakra through my body, but if anything it flowed much more steadily than before. I was suspicious but hey, I wasn't about to stab a gift horse in the mouth. I tried again, and could immediately feel a difference. My clothes were definitely getting drier, and, motivated, I doubled my efforts until my clothes were almost completely dry.
I cut off the flow of chakra and opened my eyes triumphantly to find a ball of pinkish water hovering to my right. I poked it, and it surprisingly held its form, bouncing back and not letting my finger pierce it. I walked a few steps back and the ball followed me, floating around like gravity was for losers. I was so enraptured that I didn't even realize that all the water in the pond had disappeared.
"Neat," I remarked happily. Man, ninja magic really was something else.
"KAKASHI SENEI!!!!!" Oh, right. The brats. I hoped back in the trees and sped off in their direction, this time not paying attention on where I put my feet. Moving super fast was super cool, not gonna lie. I would've never reached these speeds in my old world, much less keep it up, and running was actually pretty fun when you didn't get tired. I slowed when I sensed their presence up ahead, something that felt super weird, like having a sixth sense.
"- Kakashi Sensei, making us chase cats for our first mission. Idiot didn't even get here in time and it escaped! Where's the cool stuff?" I heard someone obnoxious say. Naruto
"Idiot! We have to do stuff like this first before we can move on," was the reply, the voice dripping with angst. Sasuke.
"You don't have to be an ass about it! I know you want to learn cool stuff too."
"..."
So this is their first mission? It's only been a week since I fell asleep? What a ripoff! The Yamanaka induced sleep was supposed to last a month! Next time I see him, I'm going to ask to see the manager.
"Um... Guys? Can we just get this over with?" And finally, Sakura. She didn't actually sound too bad.
"Of course! See, Sakura-chan thinks this is boring too!"
"Ugh. Naruto, you're so annoying. But I guess it is pretty boring." Never mind.
They were adorable, really, but I needed to find a Yamanaka soon before people started becoming suspicious. I couldn't just abandon the children though. Hmm, what to do, what to do...
"We should try spreading out! I'll be with Sakura-chan and you can be by yourself."
"Eek! Naruto, you can't just say that!"
"Ow! Sorry Sakura-chan... Let's just spread out normally then," Naruto said glumly.
"How will we be able to communicate once we find the cat, idiot?"
"Oh. Hmm... I know! We'll use my shadow clones! I get their memories when they poof, so if each of you guys takes one with you..."
I stopped listening. Shadow clones were the answer to all my problems! I'd leave a shadow clone here to watch the kids, and then go off and see a Yamanaka. Problem was that shadow clones acted like the creator, so although the clone would look like Kakashi, it probably wouldn't actually act like him. Still better than nothing.
I backed up so I was definitely out of earshot of the kids and tried to form a shadow clone. Didn't I need hand signs? I didn't even know what they were! I sighed. Well, I was (in the body of) a genius, I could probably figure it out. I mean, I did make the water ball. Speaking of...
It drifted a bit closer and collided with my head. I turned around and pushed it away. "Hey, personal space. But you're so cute that I guess I can make an exception."
It wobbled in mid-air, bobbing up and down, almost like it had a life of its own. "Hmm," I said. "I'm gonna name you squishy. Because you are."
The water ball bobbed up and down, indifferent. Still cute.
But I was getting off track. If I could make a floating water ball, then I could certainly make a shadow clone, right? Didn't I have to make a cross with my fingers or something? Um...
I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes, and concentrated. I imagined my chakra pooling on the ground besides me and stretching into the shape of the person, the person coming to life and, might as well, being Kakashi. "Shadow clone Justu," I whispered as an afterthought, a bit embarrassed. I opened my eyes and...
"Ew! You're naked!" I immediately covered my eyes, blushing.
"...Well, duh," not-kakashi said, nakedly. He still had a mask on, weirdly. "You didn't form me with any clothes. Pervert."
What? What kind of bullshit is that? All the other shadow clones in the series formed with clothes! Am I supposed to actively think about that?
"Ugh, whatever," I said, my eyes still closed. Did he just call me a pervert? I turned around, desperate to ignore Kakashi, and tried again. Pooling chakra, form a shape, add some clothes...
I opened my eyes, and a vaguely Kakashi-colored puddle appeared on the floor. "Ew!" I yelled again. The puddle made a gurgling noise that sounded vaguely like "kill me". I obliged and flung a kunai at it. It disappeared with a poof and a strangled "thank you".
I tried again. Pool of chakra, form a person, add clothes, don't be a puddle...
I opened my eyes to nothing. A wisp of steam curled up from the ground, mocking me. I felt frustrated, angry, and tired. Weirdly so, since I was fine a couple minutes ago.
"Chakra exhaustion. I'm surprised I'm even standing, much less alive; you should be careful with that, it is my body. You used most of my reserves creating your... ball, and this clone. The massive amount of chakra you used is the only reason that I'm even here. Even then-" the clone poked himself and I reluctantly watched, firmly keeping my gaze on his arm. It rippled unnaturally, like he was filled with water instead of... whatever he was made of. "Shitty work," he finished.
I sighed, feeling drained and empty. I should probably check on Kaka-
I blinked. While I didn't notice it before, Kakashi was constant presence in the back of my mind, almost weighing me down, but that presence was gone. "Oh my god he's dead," I blurted out. I'd have to train team seven, I had to become Hokage, I had to save the world-
"No he's not," the clone said pleasantly. "He's right here, regrettably." I looked at the clone. It should act like the creator, so he should be acting like me. I'm pretty sure that I wasn't such a smug bastard, though, so that meant...
"Kakashi?" The clone? nodded. "Are you sure you're not just a clone?"
He nodded agin, enjoying my intense discomfort at his... nakedness, his eye curved into a stupid little smile. "Pretty sure. We should probably tell someone about this. You find the Hokage, and I'll, ahem, train the children."
I looked on in horror. He must be joking. Surely he wouldn't-
He started walking towards the brats and I wasn't about to find out. I stretched out a hand to pull him back but hesitated to touch him. Something shot out of the corner of my eye and I turned to look at that instead, grateful for the excuse. A watery pink... tentacle??? was pulling a still naked Kakashi towards my direction, and I jumped out of the way to avoid being touched. Where did it come from? What the hell?!? I glanced around, trying to find the source of the thing (Please don't let this story turn into some weirdo hentai), but it seemed to come out of thin air. The tentacle kept pulling (the still naked, seriously, couldn't he jutsu some clothes on?) Kakashi towards me as I tried to dodge, like some demented game of tag. Kakashi seemed to have just given up.
I looked around in a panic and suddenly noticed that Squishy wasn't with me. Did the tentacle eat it? Wait... was the tentacle Squishy? I needed to do something drastic. This might look super embarrassing if it failed, but I was going to try. I readied myself and-
"Hey, Squishy? Can you... not?"
What, you though I was going to fight it? Please.
Squishy stopped dragging Kakashi along and held still. Yes! This was kinda working! "Drop him," I said firmly. Squishy dropped him. "Come," I ordered. Squishy, who was the size of a sedan before, obediently condensed to the size of a small watermelon and drifted over, settling by my right shoulder. Kakashi finally magicked some clothes on, looking only a little traumatized. He glanced at Squishy, who was innocently bobbing along my shoulder, and flinched when it wriggled.
"...I should go to the Hokage. And put on some actual clothes," he said, somewhat awkwardly. I looked away, nodding. "I'm... going to go do that," he said again, backing away. I nodded again. It was only when he took off did I realize that that meant I had to take care of the brats.
"Wait!" I called out after him. "What do I do?"
"Figure it out!"
God-