Kakashi Hatake, Seventh Hokage of Konohagakure, loves to abuse his power to mess with his friends, namely Yamato. A year into being Hokage and Kakashi got the urge to mess with Yamato since he hadn’t had the time since becoming Hokage, so he abused his power as Hokage and sent him on an escort and guard mission to Snow Country for a month. Needless to say, Yamato was not very happy about this. He was having the most peaceful year of his entire life since he met Kakashi and now that’s been completely upended. Kakashi is in for a huge surprise when Yamato gets back because he spent the entire month coming up with an idea to get back at him and everyone knows that the best kind of revenge is the kind you don’t expect.
When Yamato gets back he goes to the mission desk and counts his stars lucky as he spots Iruka working the desk. He gets in Iruka’s line and constantly searches the room for any sign of Kakashi.
“Oh, hey Yamato, Welcome back. I heard Kakashi sent you to Snow Country. I bet you’re glad to be back home, where it’s nice and warm, right?” Iruka makes light conversation with Yamato, feeling a bit sorry for him because he knows that Kakashi did it on purpose.
“I’m definitely glad to be back. Do you wanna help me mess with Kakashi?” Yamato says as he hands over his report.
“Absolutely. This has to do with him sending you to Snow Country, doesn’t it?”
“100%. This is gonna require some extra hands though, know anyone discreet and willing to help?”
“I can think of a few people. I’ll tell Kakashi It’s girls night. Meet me at Anko’s later around seven.”
At seven Yamato meets Iruka at Anko’s house and they walk in together. They find that Kotetsu and Izumo are there too.
“You know, When I said discreet, I can understand Izumo and Kotetsu because they’re not Kakashi’s friends, but Anko? She’s the least discreet ninja I know," says Yamato as he raises an eyebrow at Anko.
“Hey! Do you want my help or not? When it comes to messing with people I’m your number one ninja. I love a good prank, even better when it’s revenge,” Anko says, taking a bite of the dango she had sitting in front of her.
“Alright, fine. I need lots of hands for this to go smoothly, but I’m not sure how we can do it without Kakashi finding out, it’s pretty noticeable.”
“There shouldn’t be any problem with that. Kakashi is going to the land of Iron for a meeting with the five kage to talk about a joint chunin exam, so we’ll have the whole village to ourselves for an entire week.” Iruka mentions this because Kakashi told him about it last night.
“A whole village, huh? As tempting as that sounds, I only really wanted to inconvenience Kakashi, not the whole village. When does he leave? We need to get started as soon as possible, I suspect it should take us a few days at the least.”
“He leaves tomorrow morning.”
“Perfect.”
The meeting for the upcoming chunin exam ended without any serious incidents but Kakashi was still completely exhausted from having to sit through several meetings with stubborn kage. Kakashi gets back to the village and all he wants to do is go home to relax, but he needs to debrief some chunin and jonin about the exam since it’s coming up soon, so he heads for Hokage tower.
Yamato had heard that Kakashi was back and was waiting outside of Kakashi’s office with the rest of the chunin and jonin he had called for about the chunin exams. Yamato wanted to make sure he could see Kakashi’s reaction to his prank before he heads off to a mission for a few days to let Kakashi cool down.
“Maa Yamato, looks like you’re back from Snow Country. How was it?”
“Isolating, but it gave me plenty of time to think. After you, Lord Hokage.” Yamato opened the door to Kakashi’s office and invited him in.
Kakashi’s eyes went wide for a brief moment. He slowly walked into his office, looking around to find absolutely nothing in his office except for a stack of paperwork on the floor. There was no chair, no desk, not even a pen. Yamato made sure to leave only the work that Kakashi needed to get done because he still had a job to do, but that doesn’t mean he had to do it comfortably.
“This asshole. I’m definitely sending him to Orochimaru’s hideout on watch duty for the next year.” Kakashi thought to himself.
“Have fun, Lord Hokage. I have a mission I have to go on now, but I’ll be back in a few days.” Yamato snickered as he quickly made his way out of the room and the village before Kakashi could reprimand him for his prank.
“Mmmmaaa, I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now. I don’t feel like standing, so let’s all just sit on the floor.” Kakashi groans as he sits cross-legged on the floor.
Kakashi takes the next hour to debrief everyone on what was discussed in the Land of Iron about the chunin exams and how they’ll be held this year. Throughout the debrief Aoba starts to dissociate.
“Aoba! Are you getting all this down?” Kakashi yells at Aoba, his personal assistant and most importantly, personal writer.
“Yessir! Sorry about that. Most of what you said I already had down from the meetings in the Land of Iron, sooo I kinda started to go off in my own little world there.”
“Right,” Kakashi sighs, “It’s getting late and I already went over most of the details. We’ll talk logistics when it gets closer. Meeting adjourned.” Kakashi gets up and walks to the window, opening it and jumping from the window, heading straight for home. He is exhausted from the past week and is excited to get home to his husband and just relax on the couch reading Icha Icha the rest of the night.
Kakashi gets home, takes off his sandals and walks into the living room, prepared to fall on the couch, but to his horror doesn’t find a couch, or anything for that matter. The living room is completely empty and from where he is standing, what little of the kitchen he sees is completely empty too.
“Iruka!!” Kakashi yells for his husband. Iruka comes out from the hallway where the bedrooms are.
“Hey, hun, welcome home,” Iruka comes up to Kakashi with a feather duster in his hands and kisses him on the cheek, “how was the Land of Iron?”
“A pain. More importantly, where’s my couch and my books, where did you put my books?”
“Oh that? I’m just doing a little spring cleaning,” Iruka checks his watch, “sorry, hun, but I have to go or I’m going to be late for a mission I have. I’ll be back in a few days and finish cleaning then, okay?” Iruka sets the feather duster on the counter in the kitchen and then heads to the foyer to put his shoes on and leave.
“Wha-why-wai-huh? Is there at least food? He had to have left the food, right?” A hungry and exhausted Kakashi goes to the fridge to look for leftovers and finds it completely empty. He then checks every cupboard for the instant ramen they keep around for when Naruto visits and finds absolutely nothing in any of them.
“What kind of spring cleaning is this anyway?” Kakashi, hungry and confused, decides to go to Ichiraku for dinner.
On his way to the ramen shop, Kakashi is stopped by Guy who says that all of their friends are meeting at the bar to hang out and he invites Kakashi to come with. Kakashi doesn’t even have to think about it, he agrees immediately because he needs a drink or ten after today’s debacle. When they get to their favorite bar they go to the largest booth in the back of the bar where almost all of their friends, Genma, Raido, Ebisu, Aoba, Ibiki, and Kurenai are waiting for them.
“Yo, Kakashi! Aoba was just telling us about the prank Yamato pulled on you. How the hell did he get all of that out of your office without anyone noticing?” Genma says, swishing his senbon from side to side as he speaks.
“Maa, he’s an elite ninja, but get this, that’s not my only problem,” at this everyone at the table perks up as Kakashi takes a seat in the booth, “when I got home my entire house was empty. Iruka said it was spring cleaning, but now that I think about it, they were totally in cahoots together, weren’t they?”
“Ah the springtime of youth! I love how my dear rival never tires of these pranks!”
“No, Guy. I’m definitely tired.” Kakashi sighs as he calls for the barkeep to bring over a whole bottle of his favorite sake.
“Well, you get what you sow.” Raido comments.
“What are you talking about? What did I do to deserve a prank as large as this one? The office furniture, sure it’s inconveniencing, but at least I can still work–”
“Actually, we can’t find your stamps. It’s gonna take a little longer before you can get the paperwork done.” Aoba jumps in.
“Okay, so maybe it is a bigger inconvenience than I thought, but not as big as at home. The entire house is empty! My books, he took my books! And there’s no food. I didn’t even check the bedroom, but I’m assuming there’s no bed and–ohmygod–he took all of the clothes, didn’t he?” Kakashi clonks his head on the table and groans.
“Honestly, Kakashi, you did it to yourself. Consider all the public embarrassment you gave Iruka over the years.” Kurenai chips in.
“I can’t help it, he’s cute when he’s flustered.”
“What about Yamato, didn’t you leave him with your team while you went on solo missions?” says Ebisu.
“Oh, come on, he didn’t even have to deal with Sasuke, it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“But he did have Sai,” says Kurenai.
“I didn’t even plan that, that was pure luck.” Kakashi smirked.
“Or how about all the times in the ANBU locker room you hid Yamato’s mask, making him shamefully go to the captain to ask for a new one.” Questions Genma with a smirk on his face, chuckling as he remembered how young Yamato almost cried a few times.
“Oh, that? That was just indoctrination.”
“You did it for years… and I’m not convinced that you don’t still do it.”
“I would never.”
“Really? Then what’s that?” Genma raises an eyebrow as he nods towards Kakashi’s hip, where Yamato’s ANBU mask is hanging.
“That… is just the start of what’s to come. I’ll just have to officially reprimand them both when they get back, I think they’ve forgotten that I’m the Hokage.”
“Oh god, Kakashi, please don’t make me write some stupid reprimand just because you’re sour about a little prank.” Aoba heaves a sigh.
“As Lord Hokage and as my official writer, you have to write as I say.”
“Uh, you’re not the one who hired me, Iruka is, so technically I only have to do what he says and if he tells me not to write a reprimand for their pranks, then I won’t.”
“Then I guess I’ll just have to do it myself.”
“NO!” Everybody in the bar yells at the same time. The locals just can’t help but eavesdrop whenever the Hokage comes to drink.
“Sounds like a solid no, Kakashi. Looks like you’ll just have to find some other way to get back at them.” says Ibiki
“I’ve had years of practice, don’t underestimate me. I’ll figure out a very elaborate plan to get back at both of them at the same time without my Hokage privileges.”
“I can’t believe Yamato actually got you to be Hokage, you’re so extra. How did the villagers allow this grown child to be the leader of an elite ninja village?” Raido contemplates aloud.
“Now now, Raido, There’s nothing wrong with a little youthful rivalry, is there!?” Guy says loudly as he laughs
“Is that really a rivalry, though? Some of your pranks have been pretty dangerous.” Ibiki mumbles as he takes a swig of his drink, mentally questioning his friends’ sanity.
“Kakashi! I heard about the prank Yamato pulled on you earlier. I’m kind of peeved I didn’t think about it first. Have you been home yet?” Anko strolls into the bar, dango in hand, yelling across the room to the group.
“Yes, I’ve been home. You were in on it too, weren’t you? I knew he couldn’t have done all of that by himself.”
“Yup! Wish I was there for your reaction, though. Oh yeah, Kotetsu and Izumo helped too!” Anko jabs a thumb behind her at Izumo and Kotetsu sitting at the bar, obviously eavesdropping on the conversation, like the rest of the bar.
“Oh my god, Anko! Don’t tell him we helped!” Izumo yelled at Anko.
“Aw man, we’re gonna get sent to Snow Country next, aren’t we?” Kotetsu complains as he takes a shot, preparing himself for the mission that’s bound to come.
The next day Kakashi goes to work and remembers what Yamato did the day before.
“Maa, for a bit I actually forgot what Yamato did,” Kakashi says to himself as he walks around his office contemplating how to fix his issue, “Aoba! Did anyone ever figure out what Yamato did with my furniture and other office supplies?”
“We think he put it all in that one storage room that’s haunted and he locked the door. He most likely took the key with him.”
“He’s getting watch duty until he retires.” Kakashi mumbles to himself as he plots Yamato’s demise.
“So, what are you gonna do without your office?”
“Tell me, Aoba, do you like this job?”
“Uh, that’s random, but I mean not,” Aoba notices the look on Kakashi’s face, as if he’s about to kill someone, “that I would ever complain about this job, it’s fantastic. I would never think about having any other job. I’ll go knock that door down and get the rest of your office back.”
“Good. Also, Aoba!,” Kakashi stops Aoba as he was about to walk out the door, “Write a notice to Ibiki about torturing Anko. I would really like to know where my husband put our entire house and she refused to tell me anything yesterday.”
“Kakashi! That’s a serious abuse of your power,” Kakashi’s death glare is back, “but I also really don’t want to be sent to Snow Country! Okay, fine! You win, I’ll send a notice, but whether he does it or not is on him, not me!”
“Oh, I’ll make sure it gets done. I need my books.”